Ex-bf's, emotional eating, and venting...I'm a mess

Dmg114
Dmg114 Posts: 47 Member
edited September 28 in Motivation and Support
An ex-bf of mine has kind of re-surfaced in my life in the past few weeks. Not in a romantic sort of way...he is a marine and he is being deployed in a couple of days and he was home on leave for a few weeks and wanted to meet up. So we did a few weeks ago and it was a fun night and we were friendly and nice and had a good time. Well he insisted on seeing me one more time before he left and we planned to meet yesterday...and then he bailed on me b/c something came up but wanted to meet today...I told him I couldn't because I worked all day long and he made this big deal about how he will find some way to see me before he leaves. I was upset that he bailed and I know i dealt with it by eating because I definitely reverted back to my old habits just a tiny bit...nothing major but it happened. I got over it and said today is a new day! I did great all day with eating and I got sent home early from work so I thought...perfect, i'll call him and tell him we can hang out now! And I did...and he ignored me all day...no response what so ever, even after he made such a big deal to me about how important it was that he see me. So here I am left feeling rejected AGAIN and I slipped up big time. I ordered loaded cheese fries from my favorite place and pretty much devoured most of them for dinner in addition to a few other chocolate covered bad food choices under the category of "oh well, it doesn't matter anyway."

Now there is a reason we are no longer together. And he has basically been out of my life for at least the past 3 years. And I know I shouldn't be letting him get to me like he did these past 2 days. But he did. And for the first time in the 40+days since I have been on MFP...i ate my feelings. And that bothers me...because he will not be the last person/thing/event to jump in my path and try and derail my plans for healthy eating and living. And not only am I left sitting here feeling rejected, bloated and sickeningly full but I also feel defeated. The only thing I can hope for is that the next time the going gets tough that I buck up and take it out on a treadmill instead of a pile of loaded carbs, fat, and animal grease.

If you took the time to read this, thanks...I don't expect any earth shattering advice about what to do about all of this. I just needed a place to air this all out in the open.

Replies

  • maddymama
    maddymama Posts: 1,183 Member
    Oh, honey, HUGS!!!! I think we've all been there, to a certain extent. I'm so glad you are able to recognize now that you ate your feelings the past few days. That in itself is a huge accomplishment.
    I'm sure others will have better advice, but I'm saying I'm proud of you for recogizing the first link in the chain.
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
    Hugs from me, too. Men can really suck sometimes!

    I think you've already learned a great deal about yourself. The next time something like this happens, and you reach for food out of emotions rather than hunger, you need to remember these past two days and how it felt to give in to the temptation. Food doesn't make us feel better, not really. We think it will when it's calling our names in that seductive little whisper it has, but it's a lying jerk!

    I hope things get better for you quickly!
  • mollymoo89
    mollymoo89 Posts: 202
    Hug, hug, hug!!! At least you recognized it and don't give him that power over you. Remember: you're worth it!
  • paperbagprincess
    paperbagprincess Posts: 76
    I'm not an emotional eater, but I do find that after a crappy day... I won't care to put effort into a healthy food day. Which in the end makes me feel worse. However on the other side of things, when I go to the gym and work my frustrations out there, not only do I feel better... I also get one helluva workout cuz there's a lot of built up energy. Try to put together some good energetic music for those days and when another day like that comes along... grab ur ipod and head to the gym and kill it on the treadmill!

    With the guy stuff... if he's gunna turn u into his own personal yo-yo he doesn't deserve any of ur time. Take a lesson from him and put him on the ignore list. Chances are, it'll bother him more than you since he insists on coming back into ur life every now and then.

    *hugs*

    Good luck!!
  • Phat_chik49
    Phat_chik49 Posts: 1 Member
    LIfe is sometimes hard!! But we struggle to overcome. Sometimes we don't have to struggle as hard as we do because of the choices we make. But, listen, that's all behind you now. Today is a new day. Love yourself and think of some exciting exercises you can do as well as new goals to reach. YOU CAN DO THIS!! I'm praying for your success.
  • MsScorpio67
    MsScorpio67 Posts: 91 Member
    As G.I. Joe would say...KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE! Now you know what happen in situations like that. Like you said take it out on the treadmill. Work it off at the gym in some way. But stay away from food you know you don't have total control over. Your right, there will be always some kind of situation the will try to derail you from your goals. Recognize it as a test and pass that test. Then after awhile those things that used to affect you negatively won't have that kinda power over you and it will get easier to make the right choice. And as for your EX...F* Him! He's gonna wish he kept his date with you the next time he sees you. Cause your gonna be where you want to be in your weight loss journey and its gonna show all over.
  • francinecowart
    francinecowart Posts: 84
    hugs to you big time!! I used to do that in every part of my life....did what the other lady said...took it out on exercise...now at my age when something upsets me like my Dr.s nurse today, i can't eat...i get these symptoms...taste buds gone, and spinning on her mean behavior...so its kind of doing the opposite to me, but you have to eat to lose...keep the metabolism going....so hang in there:) you can do it and you do see it...thats the first and most important step...good luck:)
  • Mommawarrior
    Mommawarrior Posts: 897 Member

    And not only am I left sitting here feeling rejected, bloated and sickeningly full but I also feel defeated.

    Being defeated is temporary, giving up makes it permanent.
    Bad days happen, remember today is a new day. :flowerforyou:
  • WitherAway
    WitherAway Posts: 13 Member
    I don't have an ex-bf... but I'm an emotional eater also. Thank goodness you can log the food, step past the day, and start all over tomorrow. There's nothing you can do about today, but you certainly can start tomorrow new... 40 days is a great accomplishment!!!!
  • lala221
    lala221 Posts: 10 Member
    my mom has always told me "it doesn't take the hurt away but it sure softens the blow" about emontional eating. and yes its kinda true, sure it makes you feel better right then and there but an hour later your thinking to your self now how did that really help!? but at least you recognized it and now you can learn from it. now instead of the emotional eating you can do something else to take your mind off it like a walk or calling a friend.
  • Dmg114
    Dmg114 Posts: 47 Member
    Thanks everyone for all your kind words of encouragement and well wishes. I hate that, in a way, I let him do this to me. No one deserves that type of control over me except for me. Tomorrow is a new day and it WILL be better. Thanks again. I can't express how much your comments mean to me and how much better I felt after reading them.
  • DustinReiner
    DustinReiner Posts: 157 Member
    Don't give up on yourself. Remember there is a reason why your not together. You deserve to be treated better. If he wanted to be with you so bad, he would of. I hate to say it(man code) he was using you, he probably gave two or three other girls the same line.

    Don't let him win! Move on, you were doing fine before he got back.
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