Death, depression. I need advice.

bettypeyton1
bettypeyton1 Posts: 10 Member
edited November 24 in Motivation and Support
September 30th will be one year since my mother passed away. Ten days after that I had turned 50. At the same time my oldest half sister and her adult kids went into our mother's house a stolen so much stuff down to the toilet paper and holder. It was like losing a whole family. I have not spoken to my sister since. Depression has a grip on me this week that I can't shake. I have lost 22 pounds in 4 months and I hope to not gain it back while down and out. Any suggestions on stay on track during this difficult time.

Replies

  • catt952
    catt952 Posts: 190 Member
    That is just so awful. It hits close to home as well, my mother is expected to pass away very soon. days even. Please try to be strong and remember what you are doing is for you! your mother would have wanted you to be happy too.
  • Allisrock
    Allisrock Posts: 8 Member
    bettypeyton1 wrote: »
    September 30th will be one year since my mother passed away. Ten days after that I had turned 50. At the same time my oldest half sister and her adult kids went into our mother's house a stolen so much stuff down to the toilet paper and holder. It was like losing a whole family. I have not spoken to my sister since. Depression has a grip on me this week that I can't shake. I have lost 22 pounds in 4 months and I hope to not gain it back while down and out. Any suggestions on stay on track during this difficult time.

  • Allisrock
    Allisrock Posts: 8 Member
    I'm so very sorry for your loss it's not easy when you lose a parent and to have added stress to your life doesn't make it easier.. I have a sister who basically is pretty selfish. I no longer take on more than I can handle by choosing my battles. My sister's selfishness and attitude is her own there is nothing I can do about it.. I can tho focus on what make a me happy and that's my self improvement, body mind and spirit :) Keep your face n the sunshine so you can't see the shadows :) Love yourself and love the memories everything else is trivial
  • miami_mimi
    miami_mimi Posts: 325 Member
    Thank you for sharing, I can't imagine what you're going through :( reaching out and expressing how you feel is a great start. Wish there was more I could say, grief is challenging on everyone. And there's no right or wrong way to deal with it, we each cope with it differently. You can add me for support if you'd like. One day at the time
  • LKArgh
    LKArgh Posts: 5,178 Member
    edited September 2015
    If you have been feeling depressed on and off this last year, counselling. Get into grief counselling.
    If it is only now because of the anniversary, then what helps me in such times is to keep myself busy, like force myself to do things: go for a walk, clean the cupboards, work in the garden, take extra work at home, plan activities with family, cook huge amounts of food and stock the freezer and so on.
  • bettypeyton1
    bettypeyton1 Posts: 10 Member
    Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. I can feel the pain. I know she would be proud of what I have loss weight wise. Just it's hard. Food is com
  • bettypeyton1
    bettypeyton1 Posts: 10 Member
    Thanks all. I am in counseling. And trying to get by.
  • msalbd
    msalbd Posts: 5 Member
    Go slow and be nice and caring to yourself. Can you join a grief group too (in addition to the counseling)? In my town, the hospice offers structured and drop-in grief groups. I joined a structured group and, 4 years later, still appreciate those people and their stories. There were people in the group who experienced a death in the past 4 months to ten years. They helped me. You are not alone. There are others who've had people behave badly after the death of a close family member. It can help to share your pain with others.
  • middlehaitch
    middlehaitch Posts: 8,486 Member
    I am so sorry the grief over your mother is entangled with the anger or resentment of your step sister's actions.

    What she did wasn't nice, but think of it like this; she took things, not your mother. You can still imagine your mother walking about her house, full of her life, and her possessions. Let your step sister's actions go, grieve for your mother, not her lost possessions.

    Move forward knowing she will be proud of what you are accomplishing for you.

    Cheers, h.
  • Debmal77
    Debmal77 Posts: 4,770 Member
    edited September 2015
    Sorry for your loss. Happy you are getting help.
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