Time Starved Dads (or moms)

I exercise primarily during my lunch hour and make sure I get to the gym to lift once during the week and once again on the weekend...if i can fit in more, gravy....

i brown bag it every single day...that generally includes my breakfast as well as lunch and my snacks for the day.

Seems like you have a lot on your plate. I have a one year old and I take her to the track with me 4 days a week. while my nephew is having football practice, we walk around the track.
Seems like the birthday parties come every weekend, and I just try and make it a point to say no. It's hard, but I fill up on all the "good" stuff and try my hardest to avoid to junk. Obviously I'm not perfect, I sometimes cave. I just determine whether its worth it to me or if I can justify with my calories.

Here is what I do...I have 2 kids, one is in sports (so lots of late nights spent at practices):

Diet:I try to come home with about 800-1,000 calories remaining...that way I don't feel so guilty for eating mac and cheese and whatever else the whole family is having. I can control what I cook for work lunch/snacks...but evening time it's family friendly food. On weekends I try to eat healthy as much as I can, but bday parties, unexpected fast food lunches, etc. happen. Make sure you build up enough of a calorie deficit through the week to absorb these extra calories. Or if you ate more than you know you should have on Saturday, skip breakfast or lunch on Sunday.

Exercise: For the life of me, I can't work out at home...I have to go to the gym. So I go to the gym on my lunch break 5 times a week. Instead of working out 1+ hours 3 times a week, I do about 30-40 minutes of intense exercise 5 days. By intense I mean no chatting on the phone, no facebook, no distractions. I take 20-40 second brakes or superset my exercises. Also while at soccer practice, instead of sitting in my car or on the bench waiting for practice to be over I run/walk around the field.

Lifestyle: Overall I chose fitness as my lifestyle. My son and I started to go mountain biking this summer. I will kick the ball with both of my kids. I participate in physical playtime with the kids...not just the quiet activities and don't result in you sweating. At work I park on the lowest parking level to climb few extra flights of stairs. Sometimes to get my mind off work and get some air, I go for a 5-10 minute walk around the block. Lifestyle also includes food. I tried dieting, it worked...until we had our second child and I gained 30lbs and fell off my diet wagon. Now I just try to pick foods that I enjoy eating that don't bring in lots of calories. I've been at it for a year and still not tired of what I eat...it doesn't feel like a diet, and to me that's key.

Summary: Eat more healthy below your calorie maintenance, use every second of free time moving instead of sitting. 90% of your weight loss journey will come from what food you eat (diet), rest will be exercise.