Finally Waking Up From a Two Year Slumber?

DMS_WeightLoss
DMS_WeightLoss Posts: 8 Member
in Motivation and Support
From April 2012 to October 2013 I did a really well job of losing weight, exercising, motivation, and eating right/well. I went from 238 to 160 (pounds). I went from consuming meat/fast food/pop, to being vegetarian, then vegan and giving up pop and fast food completely.

Then, after a new job opportunity turned negative I just felt like even though I improved myself health wise and "looked" better, I still wasn't good enough. Just one of those times when you have more than enough experience, but then you're told that you don't meet their "qualifications." I then had to settle for a job that I wasn't too happy with, but I've stuck with it for almost 2 years now, while trying to finish an associates degree. After starting that job I "settled" for, I lost my motivation. Sounds kind of silly now, but things spiraled out of control and down hill.

I think it was May 2014 that I started drinking heavy alcoholic drinks. Probably sharing a bottle of vodka with my boyfriend once a week, then months went on and our rum/vodka consumption increased to drinking a gallon together every other day. I started consuming cheese and pop again at the beginning of this year, being a vegan was no longer an interest of mine (mind you this was something I was proud of).

Finally my boyfriend and I were able to break out of our alcohol consumption this summer ( a year later!)

Then I looked at myself in the mirror.

See, last summer I was about 185 pounds. At that point, I could have turned back and easily fixed that 25 pounds I gained. Unfortunately, the process had already started. Self-loathing and no motivation.

But then that mirror showed the damage I had done. See, I'm not the kind of person that can just down vodka or rum by itself. I have to mix it... and mix it I did. With pop, with juice, with ice cream. I was getting rather creative with my alcoholic mixes. I also ate /a lot/ of junk food during this phase. Potato chips galore.

Anyways.

I have gained exactly 100 pounds in 1 year or 125 pounds in 2 years.

I went from being 160 pounds in October 2013 to being 285 pounds October 2015.

I looked back at my old success photos on my computer and I just can't believe what I've done.

Feel free to add me if you wish. I would like to hear from other people that have gone through something similar and how they were able to break through their ... I guess depression, apathy towards themselves, etc.

At this moment, I'm trying to FORCE myself to break a few bad habits. Luckily the alcohol bit has been out of the way for about 3 months now, but still in the habit of super overeating.

I have recently started making protein shakes, because they had always had a way of making me feel full and I think this is a good step.

I already know what it takes to get healthy and loss weight, but its the motivation I lack and maybe the area I needed to work on most last time was support.

Hoping that I wont go back into another slumber. Before I'll know it, I'll be 300+ pounds and I certainly don't want to reach that.

Replies

  • mylittlerainbow
    mylittlerainbow Posts: 822 Member
    You caught yourself rather than continuing in this pattern indefinitely. You're taking good, positive steps toward improving your health - cutting down alcohol and pop. You've done it before, so you know how to do it and what works for you - the protein shakes sound like a good thing for you to rely on. Good luck to you on this struggle and don't be too down on yourself. Sounds like a bad break got you derailed but you're back on track.
  • deescrafty
    deescrafty Posts: 174 Member
    Your job, your boyfriend and your size does not define you. You are finding your strength that is within and taking steps to get back on track. You have to accept that you have worth and are the only one that can make changes to support yourself. You are starting again and know that you've done it be fore and will do get back your healthy self and this time will hold on to the lifestyle you want. Don't allow anyone to derail you this time. Your mfp friends will help you. Add me if you like.
  • Zorinia
    Zorinia Posts: 1 Member
    I know how you feel. 2 years ago I got really focused on my weight loss and getting healthy and I had lost 50 pounds and was the lightest I have been since I gave birth to my now 18 year old daughter. I felt awesome... and amazing! Then I made a couple of major life changes back to back that completely derailed all my progress. I switched to a vegan diet and switched jobs.

    Now you would think that going vegan I would lose weight... most people do. Unless you don't eat healthy vegan foods..... Oreos are vegan, and I ate a lot of them. I also slowly started drinking again. My new job was stressfull, which led me to comfort eat and comfort drink. What started out as only weekends quickly became a during the week thing too.

    I gained every pound back, save 3. That really hurt. I spent two years and a TON of hardwork and strick willpower.... and it only netted me three pounds.

    The other day my Mom told me she had gone to a Jazzercise class. I asked her where and if we could go to one together. So we did. I signed up that night so she and I can see each other at least twice a week. We made a commitment to go to class together on Mondays and Wednesdays. This gives me the accountability I need.... I can't stand my Mom up. The location we go to is running a challenge for the month of October. They have 9 different format classes. If I can make it to at least 1 of each through the month of October I will get recognized as an IronWoman.

    I'm also back to counting my calories.... I needed to so I can see how much I justify to myself. It's amazing when I have to track, the things I decide not to eat...

    Anyway my point to my life story is that our stories are similar. I recommend setting goals. Particularly NOT weight goals. That was always one thing a personal trainer friend told me, "make goals for yourself that have nothing to do with your weight or size and go for those. The weight and size will follow.". My goals are to have my back and knees and feet not be in constant pain anymore, and to get the IronWoman challenge thrice over. If I can do it, I will get recognized as a Titanium Tilly. I'm really pushing to hit these goals!

    What goals will you set for you?
  • DMS_WeightLoss
    DMS_WeightLoss Posts: 8 Member
    Honestly, I think /not/ having a particular goal and just doing things without thinking about them is best for me right now. This is my last semester of college and my boyfriend just started a new job. I think sometimes when you're stressed out its best to "just do" instead of being like "I need to push myself" since I'm kind of already pushing myself already.

    There are things that I would like to go back to:

    ~~Being Vegan - I felt super amazing when I was animal product free. I didn't need sweets and I would make myself go to whole foods if I wanted a baked item. It would be a once a week thing where I'd grab a vegan muffin or scone. Since they were kind of on the expensive side I'd only need one and was done. Food that costs just a little bit more makes you only want to eat what is recommended as your calorie intake instead of over eating

    ~~Cutting out Pop - Started drinking pop again when I got into rum. It isn't hard for me to cut that out, but /wanting/ to is key

    ~~No fast food - luckily I haven't gotten back into fast food all that much, but I'd rather not eat it at all

    ~~Pizza - once I decided to eat dairy again, I've gone Pizza crazy. Its ridiculous. Though I find myself disgusted with actual milk. I still prefer almond milk.

    ~~Energy drinks - sometimes I'll have an energy drink here and there. Rather its a Red Bull, some sort of chilled coffee or V8 Energy drinks (probably the better out of the three)

    ~~Getting back into making tofu stir-fry, seitan, tempeh, etc

    ~~Making a protein shake once per day (instead of not at all)

    ~~Fruits and vege consumption (cause at the moment the most fruit and vege I get is well... none most likely)


    Things that I've already stopped doing:

    ~~No more alcohol consumption (probably have drank once or twice the past 3 months, and nothing major - once I had some Buttershots and another time I had some Coffee Liqueur)

    ~~No more potato chips - I think that I burnt myself out on those. If only I could burn myself out on pizza, which I might be close to doing.


    So there are a lot of things on my list that I need to accomplish, but I'm a really random person. Just as when I had choose to be vegetarian I just decided one day that I wanted to give up fast food and pop - turning to vegetarianism helped me with those two goals. I read food labels adamantly and gave up ANYTHING with high fructose corn syrup. I wish I could say that I truly cared at this point, but there is a part of me that is looking at the mess I've made and I'm like *sigh* why... just why. lol

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