I AM 422 POUNDS OF REGRET.

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raritycat
raritycat Posts: 2 Member
in Introduce Yourself
So many times I look in the mirror, absorb what I am staring at, and am in confusion whether I should scream or cry, whether I should love myself or hate the person I became at such a young age.

Hello; my name is Amberlynn and I am here so I can be the person I was meant to be, the person I believe is in me.

I am a 24 year old, obese woman. I was obese all my life. The lowest I remember stepping on the scale at was 290 at the age of 11. I recently topped the scale at 422 and can't take the pain it's causing me. Between this physical pain and emotional pain, I do not know how much more I can take.

Our bodies are strong. Our bodies can endure almost anything. Our bodies are creatures that have planted themselves on this Earth with magical powers that we take for granted daily- we breath, walk, are able to transform our bodies into what we see fit, we birth, laugh, fall in love. Everything we do is magic but our bodies are not meant to be over 400 pounds.

I'm here on Myfitnesspal because my body is crying for mercy every single day. It's tired of the eating disorders it deals with all the time, the lack of strength it shows itself, and it wants to become as healthy as it can be.

I want to live a long life. I want to go on adventures. I want to wear cute clothes that look good on me. I want to be able to sit in all types of seats. I want to wear jeans again. I want to never feel like a monster again. I want to transform. I want to inspire.

Replies

  • robertw486
    robertw486 Posts: 2,388 Member
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    You have two of the most important tools you need already. You have your inspirations, and you have a tool to work with here at MFP.

    I'd suggest that you look at the "Success Stories" forum to help you realize others have done it. And seek out positive people that will support you as you work towards your goals. Don't view this as a "diet". View it as a life change. It may involve changing things you don't want to change, such as removing people from your life that would rather see you fail, removing some of your favorite foods, or removing a mindset that allowed you to reach the weight you are at.

    But for everything you remove, you can replace it with something better. And based on the real desire you show in the post above, you already know that in the end, only YOU and you alone can make the changes you need and want to make.

    Keep your mind in the game, and your body will follow.
  • phxteach
    phxteach Posts: 309 Member
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    Blessings, raritycat! I am glad you are joining MFP so that you can fulfill your God given destiny. There are many good folks here and I am sure with time, patience and an enduring spirit, you will achieve your goals. One day at a time as you find your path to fitness. Feel free to email me anytime.
  • hueritahsarinana
    hueritahsarinana Posts: 522 Member
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    You can do this we will do his together.And you will succeed.Pm me if you ever need anything
  • Kindness_is_gangster
    Kindness_is_gangster Posts: 79 Member
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    Oh darling, you've got this!! Your weight does not define you. The numbers do not measure kindness or beauty or intelligence or humour or strength or integrity. You have value right here and now, as will you as you progress in your journey. Wishing you health and happiness <3

    (Feel free to add me if you'd like some more support :) )
  • boobles
    boobles Posts: 8 Member
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    You're on the right track, you can do it!!
  • itsjaime
    itsjaime Posts: 27 Member
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    You already inspire. Your post was raw and brave and honest and I'm grateful to be sharing this journey with people like you. I just joined this community yesterday because I have felt some of the same things you have. Already I have felt so much support. I hope that is your experience too!

    (Feel free to add me if the extra connection/accountability might be helpful for you. I know it is for me!)
  • adeelsidkhi
    adeelsidkhi Posts: 6 Member
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    It is the same with everyone alike dear, Me too don't like what I see in the mirror right now but I have hope that it will all change and the catalyst is just me... keep on track and keep making positive improvements to yourself...
  • tracoleman99
    tracoleman99 Posts: 51 Member
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    I totally agree with robertw486:
    robertw486 wrote: »
    I'd suggest that you look at the "Success Stories" forum to help you realize others have done it. And seek out positive people that will support you as you work towards your goals. Don't view this as a "diet". View it as a life change. It may involve changing things you don't want to change, such as removing people from your life that would rather see you fail, removing some of your favorite foods, or removing a mindset that allowed you to reach the weight you are at.

    But for everything you remove, you can replace it with something better. And based on the real desire you show in the post above, you already know that in the end, only YOU and you alone can make the changes you need and want to make.

    Keep your mind in the game, and your body will follow.

    Getting started is probably the hardest part. Set some goals, with benchmarks to get you there. If 290 was your lowest weight, set that as your overall goal with 25 lb. increments along the way. Celebrate every 10 lbs as a milestone to getting to your goal.
    The next hardest part is figuring out a nutritional plan that works for you. Being committed to your goal will carry you through the challenges. You have to have a mindset that no matter what you will accomplish your dreams. No matter what. Because trials and tribulations come and you have to work through them. Losing weight is 75% nutrition, 20% exericise and 5% mindset. That 5% can derail you. Don't be discouraged if you are committed!!!! If you have a setback, you work towards overcoming it.
  • dramaqueen45
    dramaqueen45 Posts: 1,009 Member
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    You are in the right place- although I haven't lost the amount that you are wanting to lose, I have been on here over a year and have lost 46 pounds and can say a few things that have worked for me: start by making small changes and when one change becomes habit make another one- for example replacing soda with water, even if you have to start with one a day. Eat what you love, just less of it- if you cut out whole food groups you are destined to fail. If you want a hot fudge sundae- go for it, just log it and fit it into your calorie goals for the day. Invest in a food scale and weigh all solids and semi-solids. Just make it part of your habit. If you eat out, plan ahead by looking up nutritional values in advance. Wait until you are hungry to eat, but not too hungry or else you will overeat. If you have trigger foods that you can't stop eating (for me it's potato chips and cookies), just keep those items out of the house until you can control yourself around them. I do keep sunchips for when I want a crunchy salty snack, but I know I can stop with them. And for cookies I keep fig newtons which are sweet but I can stop with a couple of them. Eat high protein, high fiber and healthy fat to help yourself feel fuller much longer. Find an exercise that you love to do so you will stay with it. For me, I ride a recumbent trike. I ride the rail trails around where I live so there are no cars, no big hills and the trike feels safe because of course it has 3 wheels. A few weeks ago I rode 30 miles- I never in my life thought I'd be able to ride that far- I started by riding 5 miles and was wore out from that. When you can- start lifting weights (get some instruction from a gym or online). If you can, shop at thrift stores when you need smaller sizes to save money until you get to your goal. And most important- just stay on here, log in daily and stay the course. You will have good days and bad days and even bad weeks. Some weeks you may not lose or even gain a pound. The people on here who are the most successful have one thing in common- they just don't quit. Weight loss is a weird thing sometimes and sometimes is not linear. So just don't give up. I read the success forums when I'm feeling discouraged and there are a lot of really good and inspirational stories on there.
  • fairylady1962
    fairylady1962 Posts: 36 Member
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    You can do this, you have made a big step in doing MFP and its the start of a long journey but a journey that will take you to who you are, who you want to be and those jeans you are dying to put on.
    Good luck, here if you want or need some support. I've got a long journey too x
  • Doublemeasure
    Doublemeasure Posts: 83 Member
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    Hi Amberlynn, we are all here to help. We will inspire and motivate you as best we can. I started my journey 13 months ago and have now lost 72lbs with the support of this community. You have to believe in yourself, you can do this. You have taken the first step by joining the community here.

    Look at your diet and change it for clean healthier food products. Reduce your intake accordingly, cut out the fast food (sorry!). Buy a set of digital kitchen scales to measure everything.

    Start walking around the block and just increase it as you get lighter and fitter. It will take you time to lose the weight. I found indoor rowing was my thing and I am now on it 5/6 days a week for up to an hour. I am sure when your weight goes down and you feel happier, you will find a sport you would like to pursue. (For example, running, cycling, etc)

    I have been on here over a year and lost 70lbs. I will be on here forever to get the next 70lbs off and then maintain it.

    Treat yourself at each goal you make. Better clothes, etc, (not food!)

    Sixteen years ago I was your size and wished MFP was here to help me then, but it is here for you now!

    Be realistic with your weight loss overall and you will get there.

    Chin up. :-)

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