comments that bother

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hope428
hope428 Posts: 16 Member
in Motivation and Support
Sooooo.... my family has always been very supportive of my weight loss, but lately a few of them have made some weird comments. My goal weight is 125-130 which is right in the middle of a healthy weight range for me. At one point in my life, i was skinnier, but i guess i've been overweight for so long, they have just gotten used to it. So, here is the comment, " Its good that you're losing weight and all, but try to stay in the higher weight range of healthy" WHY??? " because I just can't see you that skinny, it will be weird, I'm used to you being fluffy"............WTH?

This comment has really bothered me, and I'm not sure if it should or I'm just making it bigger than what it is.... *sigh* :ohwell:

Replies

  • Fayve
    Fayve Posts: 411 Member
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    My family tells me this too - very frusturating :(
  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
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    that's really mean :( *hugs!* hope you're okay,...

    and if you want to be skinny tell them to shove it, its your life you can do what you want
  • Wildflower3475
    Wildflower3475 Posts: 79 Member
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    I know it's not always easy, but try not to pay attention to negative comments like that. Just do what makes you happy. If it offended you, then it was the wrong thing for them to say regardless of what everyone else thinks.. Maybe be honest with them about how that made you feel. Maybe they didn't even realize it was the wrong thing to say.
  • WifeMomDVM
    WifeMomDVM Posts: 1,025 Member
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    I get similar comments from people - I'm 10 lbs form my goal ( 118 lbs ish on my 5'5" frame), I get things like "don't get too thin". Really?

    Have you seen the stomach fat hanging off my lower abdomen? Or the way my thighs still brush each other when I walk? Please!

    Anyway, I have a theory - I'm suspicious (this sounds so conceited I can't believe I'm actually putting it in type) that people just might be jealous of the success I've had with weight loss. It's hard to lose 40 lbs (50 when it's all said and done). I'm starting to look hot! I feel great! I'm happy!

    Others probably want this for themselves and are frustrated when they can't achieve it for whatever reason (insert excuse here).

    Do I walk around thinking, "ha - be jealous of my hot self!" Well, no. But I've wondered if this is where the comments of "don't get too thin" or "make sure you stay a healthy weight" stem from.

    These comments further irk me because I'm NOT doing anything dangerous for myself, but the complete opposite. I'm making myself stronger and healthier - inside and out. And I wish all people would make the effort to do the same for themselves.

    Boy, that was long...
  • buryherdead
    buryherdead Posts: 23
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    it sounds like a tinge of jealousy to me.
  • sarahs440
    sarahs440 Posts: 405
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    Anyway, I have a theory - I'm suspicious (this sounds so conceited I can't believe I'm actually putting it in type) that people just might be jealous of the success I've had with weight loss. It's hard to lose 40 lbs (50 when it's all said and done). I'm starting to look hot! I feel great! I'm happy!

    Others probably want this for themselves and are frustrated when they can't achieve it for whatever reason (insert excuse here).

    Do I walk around thinking, "ha - be jealous of my hot self!" Well, no. But I've wondered if this is where the comments of "don't get too thin" or "make sure you stay a healthy weight" stem from.

    Boy, that was long...

    I agree totally. people are jealous.
  • misscfe
    misscfe Posts: 295 Member
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    You need to do what makes you happy! Don't let them get you down.
  • atsteele
    atsteele Posts: 1,358 Member
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    My family tells me that I look "sick" or something equivalent. I just dont think that they know how to deal with the lighter version of me... and honestly I havent lost that much weight (5 to 7 lbs). I honestly dont care what they think. Im happy with how I look and my husband is happy too. (And yes, Im right in the middle of the healthy range as well.)

    Just smile and enjoy the new you!!
  • Lleldiranne
    Lleldiranne Posts: 5,516 Member
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    Just remember, you're doing this for you, not for them. They didn't stop loving you when you gained weight, I doubt they'll stop loving you if you get thinner than what they suggest. Just go with what makes you happy and what makes you feel good, and ignore all the ridiculous comments :)
  • mychirona
    mychirona Posts: 57 Member
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    I chalk it up to jealousy, and make sure I'm keeping serious concern in mind just in case someone is really looking out for me. If someone is just consistently negative and unsupportive... I just as soon let them fall by the wayside, along with my fat flaps :)
  • WildflowerAL
    WildflowerAL Posts: 41 Member
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    I have folks that tell me daily I'm too thin--I'm not. I am at the right weight for my height and frame. I am healthy, I work out regulary and do my best to choose healthy food. It drives me crazy--because it is a daily struggle to maintain the weight loss.
  • poustotah
    poustotah Posts: 1,121 Member
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    My step-mom, who is very over weight and whose kids are now all overweight used to say, "well how much weight are you going to lose?"

    A whole freakin bunch!!!
  • hope428
    hope428 Posts: 16 Member
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    Thanks so much for all the your opinions! I kinda felt like jealousy could be some of it. One person who made the comment was my sister who has recently gained a few pounds due to birth control.... but I guess sometimes its hard to think that your sibling would feel jealousy instead of just being happy. But I'm happy, my husband is happy and I just want to be healthy, thin and super SEXY!!!! lol! Thanks everyone... sometimes it just helps to vent! :0)
  • broadsword7
    broadsword7 Posts: 411 Member
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    It's nice to have support from family and friends, but sometimes, it just doesn't happen. I think it doesn't necessarily mean that they do not care. It might just mean that they do no know any better. Maybe let it serve as a reminder that it's your life, your road, your adventure, your choices, not theirs. Let nothing and no one stand in your way. Let nothing bother you or give you negative vibes. Let nothing deter you from achieving your goal. Every emotion you have takes energy, and if what they are saying makes you feel bad about yourself, turn it around, and turn it into something positive for yourself. If all else fails, like someone else said, tell em to shove it. :smile: Good luck and hang tough.
  • withchaco
    withchaco Posts: 1,026 Member
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    My family is super supportive, yet I've heard a similar comment once, early on. In my case, they were just concerned that I might push myself too far and end up overdoing it. But now they see how healthy I'm becoming, and when I told them I want a (smooth) six pack on me eventually, they cheered me on.

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