Perspective

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RoseTheWarrior
RoseTheWarrior Posts: 2,035 Member
in Motivation and Support
The one thing I really had to work on, in getting really going on this weight loss journey, was my own negativity. I had tried going to a gym about a year ago, but every time I went, rather than acknowledge that in itself was a win, all I could think was "omg how did you let yourself get this fat? you'll never get to where you want to be. look at all those ladies who are thinner than you. you're a loser."

Honestly, it was a difficult time. I stopped going to the gym and hid away in my house, playing computer games and watching movies and eating everything.

What has changed for me is my mindset and my thinking process, thanks to a great psychologist and learning that I needed an anti-depressant (for the time being). Now, I have *learned* to acknowledge my accomplishments and treat myself as kindly as I would treat a friend. I can see how far I've come and let myself be proud of that. It's really, REALLY, all in your mind.

So, this is my quote for today:
THINGS TO GIVE UP:
1. Doubting yourself
2. Negative thinking
3. Fear of failure
4. Criticizing others
5. Negative self-talk
6. Procrastination
7. Fear of success
8. People pleasing

I can't be the only one to have struggled with this. If you have too, take the time TODAY to start changing your thoughts, and in turn, changing your perspective and your life.

Replies

  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,711 Member
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    Good for you! I ran across this obstacle years ago. I went through the "motions" of exercising and made feeble attempts to eat better, but it wasn't until I completely changed my mindset that I was actually able to make life-long lifestyle changes. Your mind definitely has to be in the right place FIRST in order for your body to follow. Great post! I hope it's read and taken to heart by many.

    Additionally, congrats for being able to reach out for help, reap the benefits, and let others know that not only is it okay, but it's necessary at times.
  • clau9734
    clau9734 Posts: 43 Member
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    Great post! Best of luck on your journey!
  • boricua3177
    boricua3177 Posts: 192 Member
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    OMG, yes I struggled with this too! Then it hit me one day that everyone has to start somewhere. So I stopped being so down on myself & just started doing exercise. Now, I actually like exercise! ;-)
  • RoseTheWarrior
    RoseTheWarrior Posts: 2,035 Member
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    I don't think anyone should be afraid to ask for help. In fact, we should be proud of ourselves for being smart enough to know we could use it!
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,841 Member
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    Totally agree that changing the mindset is what ultimately changes the habit and behaviors. Also realize, that health is not a sprint to a goal, but what you do everyday, consistently, for the rest of your life. There will be small ups and downs, but it is the larger picture of living a quality, healthy life that we need to focus on - i.e. not freaking out when a day doesn't stick to the plan.
  • Obnoxa
    Obnoxa Posts: 187 Member
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    Excellent post! And very accurate.
    A key point being "treat yourself like you would treat your friend". That's a great way to keep your achievements in perspective :)
  • Cahgetsfit
    Cahgetsfit Posts: 1,912 Member
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    great post. sooo true and I think a lot of us have struggled with our minds (and still do sometimes in my case). Interesting that this has come at a time when just this morning I was thinking of how far I've come from not looking in the mirror at all for days on end to a point where I actually look everyday and even take selfies.

    I am guilty of 1-6 on your list. Not so much 7 & 8. But yes nice to be reminded of those points. THANK YOU!
  • RoseTheWarrior
    RoseTheWarrior Posts: 2,035 Member
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    I think a lot of people can relate to at least parts of that list! Every day we have an opportunity to change these things and stop the cycle of negativity. I started the process by simply writing down 5 things every day that I thought I did well. I promise you, once you make it a habit to do this, it becomes easier and easier to automatically think more positively about yourself :smiley:

    I don't have to write anything down now. As soon as I have a negative thought, I switch my thinking to find the positive perspective.
  • entwife
    entwife Posts: 134 Member
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    Oh yes I totally relate! I realised years ago that I would not let *anyone* put me down the way I allow myself to put me down, if that makes sense. Stopping myself doing it is another matter completely. I'm trying to change my mindset by changing the negative into a positive. like this:

    1. Doubting yourself - totally normal, everyone doubts themselves, big deal, its not real
    2. Negative thinking - switch it right around and state the opposite.
    3. Fear of failure - same as doubt, but if I focus on it, it will come true. Focus on what is in my control.
    4. Criticizing others - try to learn from others
    5. Negative self-talk - be your own best friend
    6. Procrastination - (total fail on this one, I should be studying right now ha ha)
    7. Fear of success - tough one. Same as failure though, focus on what is in my control.
    8. People pleasing - If I don't look after myself, I'm no use to anyone
  • RoseTheWarrior
    RoseTheWarrior Posts: 2,035 Member
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    @entwife That's great that you've taught yourself ways to motivate and elevate yourself. I know just what you mean about not letting others put you down the way you do yourself. I'm exactly the same. I wonder why it becomes so common for us to put ourselves down? I've read a lot of fitness and health quotes recently, and one that really sticks out to me is about US being our worst obstacles to success. We are the only ones that can limit ourselves. Break some barriers!! Find out what you're capable of!!
  • amillenium
    amillenium Posts: 281 Member
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    This is an awesome perspective! I have been so guilty of this in the last month while dealing with a tough time.
  • faely
    faely Posts: 144 Member
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    I also went to a therapist and learned how awful my self-perspective is. When I went, it was mind-blowing and I really made a great turnaround and lost 75 lbs. I was 'finally' happy. But, then I went through a pretty emotionally traumatic experience and even though I still know all of these truths, I have been, and am still, struggling through the negativity again and have in fact gained back all of those 75 lbs, which of course perpetuates my negative cycle. I am currently on medication for depression because I've been told that my body doesn't make enough serotonin, so I am ok with this for now, but despite the additional chemical help, I am finding it hard to pull myself back out of this slump and get back to positively impacting my life through improved health. I know I will get back there one day, I just can't seem to overcome my traitorous ego yet.

    Thank you for this post - It's good to know I am not the only person that struggles with these particular thoughts.
  • lessismoreohio
    lessismoreohio Posts: 910 Member
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    Great post. Thank you for sharing. Yes, I think most of us struggle at times with negativity and with how we treat ourselves and others. Kudos to you for having the courage to face it and to get help with it.

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