Does being told you are thin ever get old?
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slideaway1 wrote: »Who cares what anyone thinks. I live by the rule that 99% of people are clueless di%ks.
Are you the 1%?0 -
What DOES get annoying is those who make comments like "I ate so much at lunch...oh but you're so thin you don't have to worry about that." Like thinness just magically appears from...thin air
and not hard work.
Yes!! For some it may, but many of us have to watch what we eat, etc. I do sometimes feel, as others have mentioned, that being called "thin" is sometimes a backhanded compliment, but I prefer to stay positive about these things. Any intended negativity is something inside them- OP should be proud of reaching her goals!!0 -
My problem was that I started to take that kind of comment as a way to justify my laziness or poor eating habits...and then they got worse. I was naturally pretty slender so it wasn't a big deal for me to eat poorly or not exercise, because I could do that and stay slim! Which lead to more justifications (Oh, I can get pizza again because I'm thin anyway and can get away with it. Oh, let's pick up a cake because...cake. Cookies? Sure. ChipotleALLTHETIMEplz!) Can't stay quite so slim that way...0
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I get " oh your so tiny" all the time and it makes me a little uncomfortable, though I am getting to appreciate the comment.
At 5'1 and 100-105 lb I suppose I am, but I grew up with sisters who looked upon me as the ' big girl' ( same height and weight) and I still think that I am.
No body dysmorphia here; just smaller siblings.
Cheers, h.0 -
Not yet anyway! I have worked hard and made a very obvious change to the way I look, so it's not surprising to me that people comment, especially those who are interested in changing their lives in a similar way. I started getting comments about 30 lbs ago, but they have slowed a little now I am at goal weight and people are more used to a thinner me. I've had the opposite as well though, "I liked you better before", and a few people have suggested I shouldn't lose any more weight. I find those sort of comments weirdly personal, but I suppose I can't draw a line and only hear the good stuff!
My favourite compliment ever came a couple of months ago when my 5 year old step-daughter couldn't catch me on her bike because I was "too sporty". Never (never!) in my life has anyone called me "sporty", let alone "too sporty"! I tell anyone who will listen that story now, it meant so much more to me than being thin.0 -
I'd rather be called skinny instead of fat0
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Oh, how I wish I had this problem.
The only comment I get on my body is "when are you due?"0 -
forevermaryb wrote: »I should add that I don't mean the comments from those "well meaning" people who say you should stop losing weight (even though I have for a while now), or that you're "too skinny". Those get old. I get tired of saying I am healthy.
Yes! I think the well-meaninged ones are fine.
But it's the ones that project their own insecurities or body insecurities on you who really annoys me. Make that double the annoyance if it's family.
The "You're too thin" doesn't stem out of a genuine concern for your health, but a reaction of somehow perceiving your achievements / weight as a negative reflection of them, their perceived lack of initiative/positive action to any number of things - their weight, some kind of complacency in their lives, etc.
So instead of sort of pushing positive actions/thoughts they react with negativity - the tired old 'if I can't get to your level, I'll try to get you down to mine."
I find that dismal because I want to see the best in my fellow man but it makes me quite sad when I have to deal with such people. If they are stuck in a rut I'm happy to provide help and encouragement to lift them up, but certainly not at the expense of my hard work to come down to their level and stay there to make them feel better about themselves. Nup.0 -
michaela_g09 wrote: »I think we all need to be nicer to each other. Not trying to go all tree hugger hippie on everyone but seriously... we are all equal- yet we have thin people calling bigger people "fat" in a derogatory way and we have bigger people calling thin people "skinny" in a derogatory way... we are all on our own journey and battling our own demons. the last thing we need is to turn our back on each other and judge.
okay.. done ranting
I agree.
A kind word, a little bit of encouragement, a smile - it goes a very long way to lift a person up and does wonders for their esteem, their goals and on the smallest level, the rest of their day.
If we can see that positive reinforcement works so much better than negative cut downs, the world and the communities around us would be so much more better places.0 -
I will never get tired of it!0
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What I get tired of is people who remember me being big saying "Oh you're too skinny, do you starve yourself"?
Um, have you seen my shoulders and legs? I assure you I eat more food, just not the garbage food people are used to seeing.0 -
I've only been at goal weight for about 3 weeks, but so far I haven't managed to walk by a mirror without checking to see whether I really look slim. I am totally tired of the "stop losing weight" comments. Although the "you need to eat a cheeseburger" comment was really funny. I've never in my life been accused of needing to eat a cheeseburger. lol.
Have you adopted being more active or activity/weights to go along with your weight loss? If you have, keep at it and you will see it very soon now that the "fat" is gone. I've been at +/- my happy weight for about 3 months now (still over my recommended weight-which will never happen), and I have to tell you that my body shape has in fact changed in the last while, to positive reviews You will be there very soon I'm certain \! 0 -
You look great. Tell 'em to get bent0
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Nope! One of my favorite comments was when I was shopping for a New Year's Eve dress and the salesclerk remarked "You're so thin, lets go look in the Juniors section". I just turned 50 last week. Talk about feeling good! LOL0
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Nope! One of my favorite comments was when I was shopping for a New Year's Eve dress and the salesclerk remarked "You're so thin, lets go look in the Juniors section". I just turned 50 last week. Talk about feeling good! LOL
I had a similar experience where I walked into a store and asked the clerk for a certain style of jacket. She said "you're tiny, let's try the kids section." I don't consider myself tiny, that was a bit of overstatement, but it felt great to hear it.
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I am much happier when people say I'm athletic0
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demoiselle2014 wrote: »When I was younger, I was in the bottom 2% for weight and bottom 10% (I think) for height. In high school, at 5'3ish-4ish", I bounced between about 98 lbs and--when I was 14 and 15 and on swim team--as low as 88 lbs. I didn't diet, I constantly was trying to eat more calories to gain weight, and I'd get told all the time I was too thin, I had no curves, wasn't a woman, eat a hamburger, Jesus! and that I must be anorexic or a drug addict or something else awful.
I wasn't. I was just still in the bottom 2% for weight. Even when I was in my mid-20s, I was in that weight range, and during my dad's terminal illness, I really got too thin. But it wasn't from diet or an eating disorder.
It got really old having people editorialize about my weight. Both the critical comments and the jealousy-steamed, thinly veiled hostile compliments were upsetting. I didn't reach an "average" weight for my height until I was married and in my late 20s. A more stable lifestyle, a spouse who bakes to relieve stress, and the age-related slowing of my metabolism made a big difference for me. Now I am in a normal range for my height (I think?) and people rarely comment anymore. It's a relief.
I think it is a bad idea to comment on people's weight, no matter which direction they stray from "average/ideal" (scratch that--no matter what their weight!) unless we are 1) a trusted friend who has been invited to discuss such issues or 2) very well aware that the person you are complementing has been consciously working to lose weight. In that case, it might be appreciated.
That was me until I had my third child at the age of 41. I think it has a lot to do with constantly fidgeting and zipping around. I think I gained weight after having kids because I literally had to slow down (since lost). I agree that the skinny/anorexic comments can be pretty hurtful.0 -
I don't mind being told I look thin, but for some reason I really dislike the word skinny. It seems to have negative connotations.
I also hate being told "you're so lucky, I bet you can eat anything you like". Yes, I can, in moderation like everything else, I just don't stuff my face. And I'm not lucky, I work my butt off (literally) to look like this!0 -
I never get tired of it. I also never get tired of the look I get when I say "thanks, I used to weigh 100lbs more". The only thing that gets a little tiresome is when they ask me how I did it and I say I cut calories and exercised, and then they look at me like I killed their dog cause I have no magic pill0
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I'm 5'9 and 144 right now (Same as you) and I dropped a piece of clothing in the bathroom at a bbq when I changed into my bathing suit. the host brought it back to my hubby saying that it MUST be mine because I was the smallest person there. My jaw dropped a bit. I thought back. Yes, I guess I was. Hmmm... Part of me was happy, the martial artist weight lifter part of me wanted to stomp my foot and say "I'm NOT SMALL".0
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I loved it when, for the first time in my life (after a 70lb loss), I was called Skinny. I always thought the skinnier, the better. Until I see pictures of myself during that time. I stopped dieting, made some lifestyle changes & started lifting weights. Now, I LOVE it when I'm called Athletic & Fit!0
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Where I'm irritated is while I've lost a lot of weight, I'm still on the higher side of obese (near morbidly) at a BMI of 38ish. Co-workers that say "hey skinny" when passing in the hall make my blood boil. I know they're trying to be supportive, but I'm far from skinny yet. Sorry, rant over.
I'm very much with you on this. I've lost 50 pounds, but I am still morbid. I have over 70 to still lose, my clothes really aren't different or new. I am very sick of "Hey skinny!" or "Look at you just melting away!".... I'm not skinny, it's not melting off at any sort of rapid pace, barely one pound a week or so. I have a TON to go. I'd rather hear the support but without the over enthusiastic tone or extra adjectives. These are the same people who keep bringing in doughnuts and checking to see if I have any. Then they bring me one directly on a napkin if I don't seem to be helping myself. I don't even LIKE doughnuts.
Anyway, I need to tune it out.
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I actually hate when people comment on my body. I didn't ask or want their opinions and I find it irritating. If people comment on my body I politely ask if they are giving me permission to say whatever I want about their body now. Usually stops them in their tracks. Only exception is I'm a nurse and my patients often will often comment on my weight and professionally I just shrug it off. Many of my confused patients that can't remember my name will ask for "the skinny one" when they need me lol.0
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Where I'm irritated is while I've lost a lot of weight, I'm still on the higher side of obese (near morbidly) at a BMI of 38ish. Co-workers that say "hey skinny" when passing in the hall make my blood boil. I know they're trying to be supportive, but I'm far from skinny yet. Sorry, rant over.
I'm very much with you on this. I've lost 50 pounds, but I am still morbid. I have over 70 to still lose, my clothes really aren't different or new. I am very sick of "Hey skinny!" or "Look at you just melting away!".... I'm not skinny, it's not melting off at any sort of rapid pace, barely one pound a week or so. I have a TON to go. I'd rather hear the support but without the over enthusiastic tone or extra adjectives. These are the same people who keep bringing in doughnuts and checking to see if I have any. Then they bring me one directly on a napkin if I don't seem to be helping myself. I don't even LIKE doughnuts.
Anyway, I need to tune it out.
The "melting away" comment is so grating because it brushes off all of your hard work! One of the more fascinating parts of this process has been noticing how truly bad most people are at paying a compliment, or what strange things they say that they think are complimentary. I think a lot of it is a defense mechanism. It stems from the same place as the questions about "how you did it," followed by looks of irritation and disbelief when you say you moved more and ate less.
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Never! I love it, especially after eating a male co-worker under the table0
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I'm quite uncomfortable with the attention. Please don't look closely at me! Because I'm sure that judging comes next.
I know that with the people in my family and in my close circle, it's meant to encourage, to build me up. But I still cringe and try desperately to change the subject. "You know I'm awkward, what do you think about the upcoming hockey season? "0 -
It happens a lot to me, and I love it. I used to be 225 pounds and now I'm 150 pounds. A co-worker called me skinny a couple weeks back and I really enjoyed it. One customer was talking about a particularly good burger joint in the area and she told me that I don't look like I eat meat. That one was good lol.0
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