when your spouse hinders your progress

llpruitt22
llpruitt22 Posts: 6 Member
in Motivation and Support
I know I'm not the only one LOL
I do all of the grocery shopping each week to make sure I buy healthy foods (broccoli, spinach, chicken, fish, sweet potatoes, tomatoes, etc.). I avoid the chips, boxed foods, frozen meals, and sweets. You'd think this would "force" my hubby to eat healthy with me. NOPE. He'll say he's not hungry for dinner so I don't cook then he just grabs the Cheetos he bought and a beer. I suggest fish and broccoi with rice and he orders pizza. On the weekends I make healthy sweets since I've got a huge sweet tooth but as soon as he knows they're healthy, he avoids them. I give him low carb recipes to make while I take care of our 4 month old and he adds every carb possible lol what's funny is he's very fit and muscular and I'm... well... decently fit but lost a lot of strength during the last few months postpartum working full time and taking care of a newborn at the time. I'm getting motivated to get back in shape and eat healthy but man is it hard when your spouse doesn't want to LOL

Replies

  • vespiquenn
    vespiquenn Posts: 1,455 Member
    By what I'm reading, he's not so much hindering your progress as you think he is. You claim you're trying to force him to eat healthy, but that's not your right to do so. You have chosen to eat healthy, but you can't make that decision for him. Relationships are about compromise, and how you have laid this out, it sounds more like "my way or the highway." Obviously this may not be the case, but I have to take what was read at face value.

    With that being said, if you have already had a conversation with him how it's important to eat healthy for both of you and set a good example for your child, and he still eats Cheetos, all you can do is keep doing what you're doing. Maybe he'll come around, maybe he won't. But you can't force a lifestyle on someone else.
  • rankinsect
    rankinsect Posts: 2,238 Member
    edited October 2015
    You're the one trying to compel him to change his eating habits, he's not trying to compel you to change yours. What's important to you isn't important to him. I think separate dinners (or at least portions of the dinner that you each enjoy) are a good idea. Maybe make an entree he likes (and you can eat half a serving) and then some sides you like (and he can eat half a serving) and alternate?

    You also don't need to "eat healthy" to have a very fit body, as he's proving. In fact, the calorie-dense foods you shun are probably necessary for him because of his body size and muscle mass; his TDEE is likely significantly above yours, and your food may simply be significantly too low in calorie count for him. If he's healthy, clearly his diet is fine for him.
  • llpruitt22
    llpruitt22 Posts: 6 Member
    edited October 2015
    @rankinsect I completely agree with your advice. I guess I wish it were easier is all. It's hard when your hubby literally eats taco bell for lunch three times a week and I take a chicken salad and I'm the person most concerned about reaching a fitness goal. There are options, don't get me wrong, and I'm not blaming my husband. I just find it humorous and a bit challenging is all - and I figured most can relate,husband or wife. @mutatedpie I understand your point, but i definitely don't mean it to come across as a "my way or the highway". I never pester him about eating healthy or make him feel bad when he doesn't but my personal will power is tested when my hubby says "oh, I ordered us pizza, hope that's okay" when I had hoped to stay low carb. Also, hinders by definition is a suited word for the situation as inhibits would not be necessarily. It's just a personal test for me and my will power every day. Granted, things would be easier if we both had the same goal in mind
  • CatherineHillin
    CatherineHillin Posts: 66 Member
    I'm having the same problem, sister. My BF and I live together and he CLAIMS he wants to eat healthier but he hates fish and vegetables and won't touch them and won't exercise anywhere near as often as I want to. All I can tell you is you do you and just try to ignore what he's up to or what he eats. Keep an open line of communication though, if you tell him all of this then he might make some suggestions on healthy snacks and meals that he actually wants to eat. My BF hasn't been that helpful in that regard, but hopefully you'll have better luck :)
  • sheermomentum
    sheermomentum Posts: 827 Member
    Yeah I wish my BF would come and exercise with me, but he won't. So that's that. Luckily for me, he also won't cook a meal, so he either eats what I cook or he eats cereal and peanut butter. Which, actually, he's pretty ok with. Sounds like you should do some cooking and freezing or buy a few convenience meals to eat yourself when he decides to wreak havoc on your plans. And don't tell him the sweets are healthy until after he eats them :)

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