An Ironman is easy.

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osacker
osacker Posts: 6 Member
in Introduce Yourself
I'm 51 and fat. Really fat. I'm talking morbidly obese. A 23 stone monster of flab.

I've had some friends do one of these stupid Ironman things recently. Swim far, cycle further and then do a marathon to round it all off. They then have had a stupid tattoo done to commemorate the thing as though they're some sort of war hero. Not one of them can drink like me, eat like me or beat me in tug-o-war.

They've each spent a fortune on bikes and training equipment to complete the thing. They've also spent umpteen hours a day training for the nonsense.

I've decided I can do one of these things. There's nothing to it. You get 17 hours to do it for goodness sake. If you can swim, ride a bike and walk anyone can do it. It's long - not hard. It's all in the mind, just like losing weight.

I've secretly signed up to do one next summer. I've told no one. Not the wife, family or my mates. The secret to completing the thing is losing weight - not hours of training. So I'm going to increase my mental strength and fitness through dieting. My exercise programme will be minimal. 30 minutes a day at most. Too much exercise causes hunger :wink:

Let's get to it.
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Replies

  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
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    LOL.
    Which one did you sign up for?
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
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    gonna die. lol.
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
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    K
  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
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    Hopefully you signed up for a sprint triathlon. Baby steps dude!!
  • Packerjohn
    Packerjohn Posts: 4,855 Member
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    queenliz99 wrote: »
    Hopefully you signed up for a sprint triathlon. Baby steps dude!!

    The OP said they signed up for an Ironman. Doomed to fail, saying minimal training is involved and all in mind.
  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
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    Packerjohn wrote: »
    queenliz99 wrote: »
    Hopefully you signed up for a sprint triathlon. Baby steps dude!!

    The OP said they signed up for an Ironman. Doomed to fail, saying minimal training is involved and all in mind.

    Yea, you are right! Big huge difference, he should try to get his money back!! Don't want to discourage him but even running a marathon is hard for the very heavy.
  • sheermomentum
    sheermomentum Posts: 827 Member
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    points for pure balls :). As it gets closer, and you get more fit, you may find that you want to train more than half an hour a day. If so, just go with it. Enjoy!
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
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    A flag? Really? Lol. I love people encouraging someone to hurt themselves. It isn't balls but pure exercise ignorance.

    If you are participating in an event you have a responsibility to the organisers as an athlete.

    Show up at the race healthy. Do whatever medical preparedness your age, physical level and event require.
    Show up at the race fit and prepared. Select a race and approach it in a way that match your preparation.
    Be vigilant about your health and condition during your training and the event.

    Basics.

    51, morbidly obese, probably sedentary and planning to do a major event in 8 months?
    Sounds like misery.
  • besaro
    besaro Posts: 1,858 Member
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    781592d1363530457-ride-your-birthday-suit-birthday-thread-5f600f89_not-sure-if-serious.jpeg
  • jillebean86
    jillebean86 Posts: 79 Member
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    This whole thing sort of screams, "troll!" But just in case I'm wrong and the OP has actually spent ~$900 without his wife's knowledge on this very poorly planned endeavor...

    This is a very bad plan. To call it unsafe would be an understatement - it is just plain self destructive. An Ironman is not something that can be done by anyone with 8 months of minimal exercise, no matter how slim they are. Doing a triathlon next summer is great motivation to get fit, but diet and mental fortitude are definitely not enough.

    If you're willing to dramatically increase your training (starting slow, staying safe, building up to several hard multi-hour workouts per week in the spring), then you MIGHT be able to complete an Olympic distance triathlon next summer. That's no walk in the park - it's something most people can't do, and would be a REALLY amazing, against-all-odds type of accomplishment for someone who is morbidly obese today. If you care more about being healthy and happy than you do about achieving the impossible, then a sprint distance triathlon would be much, much safer, but still very challenging and requiring some decent training.

    However it sounds like you really don't want to do a triathlon at all, you want to prove that you're just as tough as your friends. You might be just as tough. You might be even tougher! But hurting yourself by attempting an Ironman without the requisite extreme level of fitness is not the way to do it. Be healthy!
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,220 Member
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    2.4-mile swim
    112-mile bicycle ride
    26.2-mile run

    Most Ironmans will stop you from going on to the bike portion if you don't complete the swim in 2 hours and 20 minutes, which is the speed the average non-obese person would be able to complete it in. Do you think you can swim for two hours without stopping? Can you bike for 4 hours without stopping (that's the average time the athletes complete it in)? Can you manage to walk 26.2 miles, much less run that far?
  • zdyb23456
    zdyb23456 Posts: 1,706 Member
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    Don't ironmans have qualifiers?
  • Packerjohn
    Packerjohn Posts: 4,855 Member
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    usmcmp wrote: »
    2.4-mile swim
    112-mile bicycle ride
    26.2-mile run

    Most Ironmans will stop you from going on to the bike portion if you don't complete the swim in 2 hours and 20 minutes, which is the speed the average non-obese person would be able to complete it in. Do you think you can swim for two hours without stopping? Can you bike for 4 hours without stopping (that's the average time the athletes complete it in)? Can you manage to walk 26.2 miles, much less run that far?

    Actually the pros are pushing for 4 hr bike time let alone a local competitor or bucket list person
  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
    edited October 2015
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    usmcmp wrote: »
    2.4-mile swim
    112-mile bicycle ride
    26.2-mile run

    Most Ironmans will stop you from going on to the bike portion if you don't complete the swim in 2 hours and 20 minutes, which is the speed the average non-obese person would be able to complete it in. Do you think you can swim for two hours without stopping? Can you bike for 4 hours without stopping (that's the average time the athletes complete it in)? Can you manage to walk 26.2 miles, much less run that far?

    There is a time cutoff for the bike as well. You have 8 hours and 20 minutes to complete it.

    It usually takes more than 4 hours for the average person. The women's pro winner at yesterday's Ironman championship biked a 4:50, the men's a 4:27. An average person does an half Ironman distance between 3-4 hours.
  • snowflake930
    snowflake930 Posts: 2,188 Member
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    Really? You think so?
    It is a grueling competition and you have to train long and hard for it. A marathon alone is a huge accomplishment.
    Best of luck to you, but please make sure you are checked out by a doctor before you attempt anything this major.
    If you truly are morbidly obese, losing the weight by next summer would be hard enough.
  • SLLeask
    SLLeask Posts: 489 Member
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    Haha, I rather suspect that the OP is having a bit of a laugh...
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,089 Member
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    OK, have a great time. Keep us updated .
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
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    For real?
  • osacker
    osacker Posts: 6 Member
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    Hah! Nice replies chaps and ladies. Made me chuckle. Only the lovely sheermomentum seems to have faith - that's sad :(

    But it's not a joke and I'm not trolling. I'm probably the fittest 51 year old 322lb bloke in the world. I can swim well and I've cycle toured Europe a couple of times over the past 5 years.

    You doubters are all believing the hype surrounding this event or seem to think I want to win next year's World Championship event in Hawaii. I intend to complete one within the time limit - 17 hours.

    As some of you have said each section has cut offs:

    Swim 2.4 miles - 2hrs 20mins. I'm a decent swimmer - well I do look like a walrus. I could probably do this in 1hr 30mins today. Bodyweight is irrelevant in the water - ask a whale :)

    Bike 112 miles - 8hrs 10 mins. The bike is not as tough for fat people as you'd think. I've ridden a lot. The bike takes all the punishment. Uphill is hard work -yes. That's what the 'granny' gears are for. The flats are easy and downhill...I'm the fastest man I know.

    So, assuming I take the full time I need on the swim (unlikely) then I have to average 13.7mph to get the bike bit done. That would be pushing it at this weight and would probably end in tears, hospital or the cemetery... However, if my swim time is around the time I expect it to be I only need average 12.5mph to meet the cut off. I honestly believe I could manage both those sections tomorrow at, or very near, the cut offs.

    Run 26.2 miles - 6hrs 30mins. Finally, the bit that would let me down. To complete this section within the cut off I need to average 4.1mph. Earlier this year (while mulling this idea over) I did one run a week for 3 weeks of 8, 9 and 10 miles. I worked out that to maintain the 4.1mph pace I needed to jog for 400 paces per mile.

    So, as you doubters can see I've done my homework and I'm not going into it blind. What I need to do primarily is drop the weight. Dropping the weight will probably make little difference to the swim but will improve my bike time and allow me to easily complete my brisk walk.

    My friends that have completed this before are much lighter than me but have gone out far too fast and hard at the start and suffered for it. Their times were not impressive despite the money and time they invested. I've got a plan...

    The weight loss is a must though. It's not a suicide attempt. Nor do I want to provide a photo opportunity for the social media trolls. If I don't drop to around 18 stones (250lbs) I won't do it.

    Right gotta go, there's a celery stick with my name on it... :)

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