Nervous to eat normal again

Are you in therapy with eating disorder specialist?

leahrbeatty wrote: »

No, I'm trying to prevent an eating disorder and I just want to be able to eat normal again and still keep between 107-110 lbs. I just don't like gaining weight. Is it possible to come out of starvation mode, eat normal, keep my workout problem and not gain is what I want to know. I want to enjoy eating my favorite foods again.

Yes, just start eating. But your thoughts are what is bad. You need to get this fixed. Being afraid of foods and gaining weight is not good. You need to seek assistance with therapist with this.

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10142490/a-list-of-calorie-dense-foods/p1

https://myfitnesspal.desk.com/customer/portal/articles/1575987-eating-disorder-resources

This a slippery slope, please seek outside help.

I used to only eat 600-1000 calories months ago for a long time, I worked my way up to about 1500 now trying to figure out the whole process but I was even scared when I went from 600 to seeing 800, so scared I'd gain weight over time, I actually still lost about 10 pounds lol, I used to also have a cheat meal once a month, then it was cheat day once a month, then cheat day twice a month, and then cheateyish day once a week. (I'm talking binge like crazy waking up almost puking) I love pizza chocolates fried rice etc, but the last few weeks I've been trying out "moderation" of certain foods I crave or find healthier alternatives. I still go out to dinner though at least once a week and order what I want, I look at weekly totals now, and even if you go over every now and again I think it'll be okay cause it's not your usual eating pattern.. at least that's what I'm telling myself. And it's actually been going pretty well. But I've been maintaining my weight for the last couple of months, I was like you though scared that even 100 calories will make me gain that 60 I lost right back, but it didn't, and I don't feel so weak or tired anymore either! I know it's scary and I'm still trying to figure out my own method here still but I told myself it's better to make small changes now than for me to say screw it and end up back in my old binge eating everyday habits! As for exercise, you probably don't even need to burn that much, I feel dead burning 500 on the treadmill LOL but if you want that's not a problem, it means for calories you can eat! But my exercise actually has decreased from when I started. It was 6-7 days a week now it's 4 for about an hour. Just take baby steps to try and get it under some control now!

I want to add this. Stop doing the treadmill. You only need 30 minutes of walking a day. Right now you are torching your calories and you need to gain weight.

That's what I've been doing! Just looking at my weekly calories, like I said it's better now to take baby steps than to blow it all off! Good luck to you, it'll take time but it'll be a lot easier and your body will be happy lol (also if you find once increasing calories you're hungrier than you ever were it's most like just your body resetting to good nutrition. Still watch what you eat but it's not a bad thing. I found I wasn't 'hungry' eating 800 calories a day and now I'm hungry every hour or two with upped calories, but my weight is the same!)

Good! That's the way to do it. I think mines partially I actually want to eat everything in sight and part of me still has the "I'm not allowed to eat that so I'm craving it 1,000 times more" I'm working on just thinking of food as fuel but also that food is food and if I really want it I could technically eat it but I know it'll probably just leave me hungry for hours in end lol like walking by the krispy kreme donuts in the store and thinking well I could make some kind of cake batter milkshake that's bigger/the same calories for that lol, mind over matter but you'll do fine since you're already trying to get a handle on it before it gets out of control! Best of luck to us!

If so much cardio is your thing, then I guess go for gold! But like pretty much every post above, you really do need to increase your calories.
If you're really worried about gaining size and are only doing that much cardio to burn calories may I suggest looking into weight training? Gaining muscle mass will increase the number on the scale, sure - but 1 kilo (or pound) of fat is much larger than the equivalent of muscle. Over my weight loss journey I've only lost 5 kilos, however I'm 2, nearly 3 dress sizes smaller than before.
Should you be wanting to do some reading/research have a look at flexible and/or reverse dieting. Both of these are ways people include their favourite "junk" foods while maintaining their body goals. Alternatively if you like cooking there are so many recipes for healthy versions of most junk foods! If pizza is your weakness, check out making a cauliflower crust! If you love cakes, check out sweet potato or pumpkin chocolate cake/brownies. For pastas there are many versions of noodles that do just as well at holding sauce without the unnecessary simple, refined carbs. Check out using zucchini noodles aka "zoodles".

Whatever you chose to do from here, just make sure you are looking after your health. There is no point achieving your dream body if it only brings you sickness. Maybe make an appointment with a nutritionist? They will be able to advise you on calories, protein, fat and carbohydrate intake.

Good luck! And if you want to chat at all, feel free to add me as a friend and/or send me a message

You really need to speak to somebody on a 1-1 professional basis.

leahrbeatty wrote: »

I know today I'm starting my eating my favorite Mexican meal again. It's been a long time. I want to still eat healthy and eat the "bad" foods occasionally like once a week or so. I just don't want to gain is all.

All of the things you've said in this thread, including referring to "bad foods" show that you really do have a tremendous amount of disordered thinking going on. I really think you need to get professional help with this. This is too important to try to manage on your own. Please use the references provided above.

leahrbeatty wrote: »

No, I'm trying to prevent an eating disorder and I just want to be able to eat normal again and still keep between 107-110 lbs. I just don't like gaining weight. Is it possible to come out of starvation mode, eat normal, keep my workout problem and not gain is what I want to know. I want to enjoy eating my favorite foods again.

You never needed to stop enjoying them. Of course you can eat "normal" (whatever that means) and lose or maintain your weight. It's all about calories. Just don't overeat. You seem to be making the whole process harder than it needs to be.

leahrbeatty wrote: »

How many calories should I be aiming for? Is it 1200?

No. You should be aiming for the calories you burn (so 2000 by what you wrote in the OP) and then adding 1700 or so on top based on your stats, so above 3000. You are at a point where you need to talk to a dr and a therapist. You are way past the slowly and gradually increase calories, you need help before your health suffers seriously.