Invited out - there will be nibbles - help!

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suzitkd
suzitkd Posts: 110
in Motivation and Support
I've been invited out to a girlie book night at a friends house tonight, apparently it's traditional to have lots of nibbles - nuts, lots of different cheeses with biscuits, wine etc. etc. What do I do? I think I want to go, but I don't want to derail my eating - and right now my weight loss is more important if you know what I mean, but I don't think I can sit there for a few hours whilst they constantly nibble and get more and more drunk while I sip... what? Fizzy water? Aaaargh! Help! Don't know what to do!!!
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Replies

  • PeachyKeene
    PeachyKeene Posts: 1,645 Member
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    If I were you, I just would have to decline the invitation. I know it will be hard to decline, but it will be even harder to resist the goodies. I have gotten so many invites, and have to tell, I just can't right now. Sometimes, if it is a close friend I will explain exactly why, but if not, I don't go into detail. They all seem to understand.
  • dosesr4winners20
    dosesr4winners20 Posts: 362
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    Hello! I completelty understand your problem! I had to go to a bar with my bosses to eat and for a possible raise where much drinking is encouraged. This is what I did it may help you:

    Had a balanced meal before I left. Didn't order or eat at all was full. When drinking time came I asked the server to put fizzy water with fruit slice in large wine glasses for appearance. Needless to say I did get my raise!
  • SenoraMacias
    SenoraMacias Posts: 305 Member
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    I love going out but I often avoid it for this very reason!!! My tip is this- volunteer to bring a snack and bring something you know you can have. Fruit salad, vegetable trey, a whole wheat variation of pasta salad, low calorie dessert (chocolate mousse, low calorie ice cream bars). That way, you don't look rude/snobbish by refusing to eat whatever is served, and you know what you're eating and you're more in control. As for the alcohol- do you like red wine? It's relatively healthy in moderation, and you can nurse a glass for an hour!
  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
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    There's two approaches. You can be an angel. Drive so you can't possibly drink. Eat healthily before you go out. Don't start with the first snack or it will lead to more.

    Alternatively, work out what you want to eat and drink that evening and pre-load it into MFP to have an idea of the calories involved. Have a light dinner or skip it altogether and make the snacks your meal. Work out what a portion of nuts or cheese is and how many you can have. Stop when you reach the calorie limit you set yourself. Pop to the loo and update MFP via your phone if you need to! And don't drink more than a couple of glasses of wine - we all know what that does to our will power!

    It's tough but it's a great way of coping with social situations rather than avoiding them altogether!

    Good luck!
  • SenoraMacias
    SenoraMacias Posts: 305 Member
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    If I were you, I just would have to decline the invitation. I know it will be hard to decline, but it will be even harder to resist the goodies. I have gotten so many invites, and have to tell, I just can't right now. Sometimes, if it is a close friend I will explain exactly why, but if not, I don't go into detail. They all seem to understand.

    Guilty of this one too- If I'm not feeling very motivated or in control, I skip it altogether. Sucks, but so does being fat!
  • cfey28
    cfey28 Posts: 11 Member
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    I don't think there is a reason to decline the invitation. If you are really wanting to go, stop by the store on your way, pick up a couple healthy snack options along side a low calorie alcoholic beverage. Not sure if you're a beer girl, but Michelob Ultra is pretty darn good! Maybe do some research on low calorie beers, in advance.

    Or, maybe do some research on the calories in general of certain food items, you can snack on a little bit of those in moderation.

    If you are not wanting to spend money and can't resist the temptation, then don't go. In time you'll be able to pretend like that food and stuff is not even there. I do pretty good for awhile then slip up.
  • dosesr4winners20
    dosesr4winners20 Posts: 362
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    This is a tough one I hate to decline for this reason but if your will power is strong then go with it.
  • DancinSMartiPants
    DancinSMartiPants Posts: 363
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    This is what I have done in the past. It may work for you.

    1. Decide beforehand what I am willing to eat and calculate the calories before you get there. For me this is usually tortilla chips and salsa because I LOVE it and am willing to spend calories on it.

    2. Bring what you are willing to eat as a donation to the nibbles.

    3. Delay eating until you can't stand it anymore. Sometimes I find, though, that I'm not as desparate to eat as I thought I would be and I can either delay for a really long time or skip it altogether.

    4. Take half of what you calcuated the calories for (Say 10 out of 20 tortilla chips and 1/4 cup out of 1/2 a cup of salsa).

    5. Delay again. Then take the 2nd half only if you really need to.

    6. Concentrate on having fun hanging out with people the WHOLE time. Talk. Laugh. Tell jokes and anecdotes. Talk about the book. :)
  • barwwd
    barwwd Posts: 63 Member
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    I would plan out how many calories to save for the evening and roughly plan out what to eat. Decide ahead of time how much you will drink, planning it into your calories. And make a small plate of snacks from what is available and eat from that throughout the night. Don't get more or give in to the temptation to nibble from the serving plates. It's hard when you don't know exactly what will be there, but if you do a little research ahead of time, you'll know what choices to make. (ie which cheeses have fewer calories, how many calories in a specific quanity of cheese?) Nuts were tricky for me in the beginning because I assumed all nuts were good. Some have more calories than others. For example, walnuts are a lot higher in calories than I would have thought.

    Ultimately, do your best and at least log everything when you get home. (Don't be ashamed to use a phone app while you're at the party, I've done it at Girls' Night before!) If you end up going over, work out a little harder tomorrow to make up for it!!

    Have fun!!! It's always ok to enjoy yourself and have some fun snacks... everything in moderation. :-D
  • kimark1
    kimark1 Posts: 84 Member
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    I agree with the others that you should eat before hand that way maybe you won't be as tempted to dig into all those goodies. Maybe do a wine spritzer so you can still have the glass of wine but not be so high in calories. My philiosphy is that I can't stop living and enjoying the things that I want to do because I want to lose weight. I am making healthier choices but not depriving myself if I want to have it. Drink lots of water before you go too!
  • cenafan
    cenafan Posts: 398 Member
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    Really? you guys miss out on an event with friends for fear of not being able to control yourself. Sit away from the snacks and go and have a great time. If you eat a little too much...move on the next day. Getting healthy can't stop you from enjoying life....what's the point then?
  • Wendysworld13
    Wendysworld13 Posts: 225 Member
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    Hi. This is a really tough area, especially if will power is not your strong suit. Here are some suggestions:
    - eat a filling meal prior to going so you won't be tempted to nibble
    - bring your own nibbles in a measured quantity so you know what is going in your mouth
    - DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL - it lowers your inhibitions and your will power to resist temptations to nibble and they are just empty wasted calories. Bring your own mixture of club soda, water, crystal light, whatever it takes for you to stay away from all the bad stuff.
    - If none of this appeals to you, just don't go. If your friends don't understand your predicament then they are not real friends. This time right now is for you.

    A huge part of success with this is changing your life and gaining control. It is a great opportunity for you to test the waters. Have an escape planned if you need one, but my heart would tell me to go enjoy life with my friends and remember that if you control yourself you have a lot more time to enjoy those times with your friends.

    Good Luck.
  • eklei123
    eklei123 Posts: 27
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    This topic is so helpful. I have a reunion with some high school friends this Saturday and I was wondering about this very thing. Thank God for you people lol
  • eklei123
    eklei123 Posts: 27
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    This topic is so helpful. I have a reunion with some high school friends this Saturday and I was wondering about this very thing. Thank God for you people lol
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
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    Be fashionably late. You'll want to catch up with everyone in the limited time and you'll be less likely to munch.
  • tammywho327
    tammywho327 Posts: 54 Member
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    I had this dilemma back in march and I went to the party. . .had 2 beers (guinness only has 125 calories per drink), stuck to veggies (sans dip), and items I could count the calories for. . .my rule- if I didn't know the calorie count for the food I couldn't eat it!

    I was able to do this successfully. . .I even brought the cupcakes and didn't have one!

    You can do it and you can be successful. . .a few extra calories once a week won't completely derail your efforts!
  • MaxPowr
    MaxPowr Posts: 2
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    Just go. Don't isolate yourself from an evening of fun, but whatever you eat, eat moderately and start with healthiest things first. Going for the fruit and veggies first will keep you from over eating the fatty stuff. Now, If you feel overwhelm midway thru the party excuse yourself early from the gathering, but at least you went and had an evening out and you won't feel like a health nut freak that can't be in the company of others. Do it many time and you will gather your own free strong will of having many healthy outings in the future. In addition, you will gain respect from many of the party goers for your strong will and discipline of not over indulging on junk, which they wish they had themselves. Good luck and have fun!

    Oh, in the event there is no healthy items, eat light and moderate maybe eating half of everything that you touch. For example, eat half a cup cake instead of the whole thing, eat a handful of chips and move on...etc. With gatherings that do not have healthy alternatives plan on making an earlier exit than expected if your will is not strong enough yet. Oh, and one more thing, eat before you go. This will will aid you from over indulgence and will help you with the snacking moderately at the gathering.
  • suzitkd
    suzitkd Posts: 110
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    Thank you all soooo much! I love this place! OK, here's what I've decided to do - an amalgamation of your suggestions! I'm going to eat a small dinner (small for less calories, not to save space for nibbles!) before I go and drink plenty of water, I'm going to be fashionably late (I love that idea, and I know it will work!), I'm going to take along a bottle of diet lemonade to mix with the wine to make a nice long spritzer, I'm going to chop up a load of carrots/cucumber/celery/pepper arrange them nicely on a plate and take a tub of pre-calories calculated houmus - and I'm going to ENJOY myself! Woohoo! :happy: :drinker:
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
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    Thank you all soooo much! I love this place! OK, here's what I've decided to do - an amalgamation of your suggestions! I'm going to eat a small dinner (small for less calories, not to save space for nibbles!) before I go and drink plenty of water, I'm going to be fashionably late (I love that idea, and I know it will work!), I'm going to take along a bottle of diet lemonade to mix with the wine to make a nice long spritzer, I'm going to chop up a load of carrots/cucumber/celery/pepper arrange them nicely on a plate and take a tub of pre-calories calculated houmus - and I'm going to ENJOY myself! Woohoo! :happy: :drinker:

    Keep up posted after the event!
  • SuzieR
    SuzieR Posts: 127
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    Thank you all soooo much! I love this place! OK, here's what I've decided to do - an amalgamation of your suggestions! I'm going to eat a small dinner (small for less calories, not to save space for nibbles!) before I go and drink plenty of water, I'm going to be fashionably late (I love that idea, and I know it will work!), I'm going to take along a bottle of diet lemonade to mix with the wine to make a nice long spritzer, I'm going to chop up a load of carrots/cucumber/celery/pepper arrange them nicely on a plate and take a tub of pre-calories calculated houmus - and I'm going to ENJOY myself! Woohoo! :happy: :drinker:

    This is exactly what I would do! Have a lovely time :)

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