Missing My Daughter

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VykkDraygoVPR
VykkDraygoVPR Posts: 465 Member
in Motivation and Support
Technically stepdaughter, but she calls me daddy, and that's all that matters to me.

Her birthday is coming up on Thursday, and I haven't seen her since July. I miss her terribly. I just want to hug her again, and let her know I still love her, and I wasn't the one who said she can't see me anymore. I can't bear the thought of her thinking I abandoned her. It breaks my heart every time I think about it.

She's going to be six. I wanted to buy her some more Legos. That was her favorite thing to do with me. I still have her things laying around the house. Her toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo, cereal, toys. Some candy, and chocolate syrup I bought just before my wife told me she wasn't visiting anymore. She didn't even come by to pick up her car seat, or the brand new clothes I bought for her.

Luckily, she was able to give me the father's day gifts she made in school. So I at least have those. Hell, the only picture I even have is the one in my avatar. As cute as it is, it's not a good substitute.



I'm not going of the rails, or anything. I just had to say it somewhere. I'm just *kitten* tired of crying, so I just don't talk about it. I did enough of that after I confronted my wife about her adultery. My life *kitten* sucks. But I have my health, I have a job, and I am losing weight. So, silver lining, I guess. Though, I wouldn't have regained if I hadn't married her. But I wouldn't give up the time I had with my daughter for anything. So, knowing how it would end, I wouldn't change a thing. After all, my honor is intact, and I had some very rich life experiences.


I'd give anything to see her again.

Replies

  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
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    That is so hard. 'Sorry that you are going through this. <3
  • yweight2020
    yweight2020 Posts: 591 Member
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    I'm glad your staying strong and can see the positive that came from the union, to bad people suck sometimes and don't realize when they have a good person standing by their side and their child's side. So sorry you're suffering now, listening to you and the relationship you had with your child I'm sure she misses you as well. But given the broken ties with her mother it's best to be strong and continue to slowly move on, if possible I would send the child all her things if you know where to send them, maybe that will make you feel just a little bit better knowing she has her things. It's really horrible for children when adults continue to break up and the kids get the shift of continuing to have new people come around and always wondering what happened to the last person who showed me so much love and care. It's a rotten deal all around, continue to do what you're doing to care for yourself it sounds like you've been doing good and being successful. :);)
  • Songbird61377
    Songbird61377 Posts: 54 Member
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    My heart goes out to you, is there any hope for you to see your child again?
  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
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    I'm so sorry. <Hugs>
  • dramaqueen45
    dramaqueen45 Posts: 1,009 Member
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    So sorry to hear- keep her in your thoughts and perhaps there will be a time when you can be civil with your ex and ask to be a part of your daughter's life again.
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
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    I'm so sorry, I understand completely. I'm hoping your wonderful memories can comfort you, this must be so difficult. xo
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
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    Damn, I feel for you man. That must be hard.

    You are grieving a loss. People think that grief only occurs when people pass away but it can occur with any kind of long term separation from the ones you love. Allow yourself your feelings - they are normal, natural and good for you to work through.

    Perhaps you could start a little scrapbook or something for your daughter with photos or thoughts in it of the things you love about her or remind you of her. Then, at some point in the future if you are able to meet her again, it is something you can share. She will know that while you were not physically present you were always with her in spirit.
  • VykkDraygoVPR
    VykkDraygoVPR Posts: 465 Member
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    Thanks guys. I just needed to vent. I felt a lot better this morning (I'm one of those annoyingly chipper people when I wake up).

    Songbird61377 wrote: »
    My heart goes out to you, is there any hope for you to see your child again?

    Unlikely. I doubt I can secure any visitation rights, though I do plan to try.


    I like the scrapbook idea. I'm not good at those kinds of things, but it would be nice.


    As far as sending her her things, I could probably get an address. I still find some comfort in seeing those things though. They may make me sad sometimes, but they make me smile more often. It's a difficult thing. She should still have the things I gave her previously, like the Rubik's cube she asked for (I like to solve them, so she wanted to as well, though mostly she scrambled them ;) ), or the ring I gave her when I married her mother (she was thrilled to be part of the ceremony lol).



    I do always say an easy life isn't worth living. The tough times, just make the good that much sweeter. Thanks for helping me reminisce. :)
  • angelexperiment
    angelexperiment Posts: 1,917 Member
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    You know you really should see if you can legally get visitation or consult a lawyer bc you may have righ5s to said child tho shes your step daughter bc this could be detrimental to the child bc you have always been daddy. A friend of mine her hubby died and he had children from a previous marriage and she won custody over their biological mom.
  • GETU1N
    GETU1N Posts: 1,811 Member
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    Damn bro... Your making me lose my s#!t just thinking about it. Stay strong!!!
  • VykkDraygoVPR
    VykkDraygoVPR Posts: 465 Member
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    angelexperiment wrote: »
    You know you really should see if you can legally get visitation or consult a lawyer bc you may have righ5s to said child tho shes your step daughter bc this could be detrimental to the child bc you have always been daddy. A friend of mine her hubby died and he had children from a previous marriage and she won custody over their biological mom.

    I plan on it. Got so much going on, and it's so expensive. I don't plan on just giving up, I just I don't like to up false hopes. So, I prefer to work from the assumption that it is possible, but unlikely I will be allowed any sort of custody.


    @GETU1N Thanks, will do! :)
  • stephaniepethtorres
    stephaniepethtorres Posts: 8 Member
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    VykkDraygoVPR wrote: »
    angelexperiment wrote: »
    You know you really should see if you can legally get visitation or consult a lawyer bc you may have righ5s to said child tho shes your step daughter bc this could be detrimental to the child bc you have always been daddy. A friend of mine her hubby died and he had children from a previous marriage and she won custody over their biological mom.

    I plan on it. Got so much going on, and it's so expensive. I don't plan on just giving up, I just I don't like to up false hopes. So, I prefer to work from the assumption that it is possible, but unlikely I will be allowed any sort of custody.


    @GETU1N Thanks, will do! :)

  • stephaniepethtorres
    stephaniepethtorres Posts: 8 Member
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    Maybe networking with other step parents in a similar predicament could help. If you're on Facebook, search Matayah's Moms Journey!!
  • gramarye
    gramarye Posts: 586 Member
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    VykkDraygoVPR wrote: »
    angelexperiment wrote: »
    You know you really should see if you can legally get visitation or consult a lawyer bc you may have righ5s to said child tho shes your step daughter bc this could be detrimental to the child bc you have always been daddy. A friend of mine her hubby died and he had children from a previous marriage and she won custody over their biological mom.

    I plan on it. Got so much going on, and it's so expensive. I don't plan on just giving up, I just I don't like to up false hopes. So, I prefer to work from the assumption that it is possible, but unlikely I will be allowed any sort of custody.


    @GETU1N Thanks, will do! :)

    I can't speak to custody troubles from personal experience (though I am divorced, so man, I know already how hard it is when you find out things with a spouse have fallen apart), but my stepdad had his first wife run off with his sons when they were little. He used to talk to me about it a lot when I was getting divorced, and his thing was always that it became a lot easier when he got a good lawyer.

    I'm really so sorry about your loss, both of your marriage and your daughter, and I hope that you're able to secure visitation.

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