[[URGENT]] Question Based On Ethics

myheartsabattleground
myheartsabattleground Posts: 2,040 Member
in Motivation and Support
TW: homelessness, financial trouble and disordered eating.

Say you're selling something, and you have a buyer. GREAT right ?

You notice in their bio, that they're recently divorced. All she has is her children (one on the way, one's about 4 y/o) and the clothes on their backs. She then asks for suggestions for places to get cheap basic necessities.

Would anyone who's been in her position, feel intimidated, if I left a note in the package saying something like "Get in contact with your local social services" or "Here are some numbers for shelters" etc ?

I know what it feels like as a child to almost be homeless, to wonder if I have supper that night, or pray that my parents have enough money for my lunch that week.

I know what it's like to refuse to eat, thinking that it'll help the financial situation.

I've been through that stage telling my mom "If you didn't get sick, we would have been in Disney right now. I would have new clothes for school. I would have gone on that school field trip."

Replies

  • anxioushero
    anxioushero Posts: 61 Member
    I think do it, if you can do it with empathy and compassionately
  • cdudley628
    cdudley628 Posts: 547 Member
    If she asked for suggestions on where to get cheap basic necessities, I think a shelter would be able to provide her with that and I see nothing wrong with suggesting it. I would also tell her who she should contact to get more information about receiving support. Some people simply don't have resources and will appreciate it. However, this lady may be offended or against accepting "handouts" and it might not go over so well. Ultimately, your choice.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    When I worried that someone I knew was in crisis, I passed on crisis information. It wasn't always received well but I felt a lot better for doing something. I'd do it again.
  • 123juliaj123
    123juliaj123 Posts: 76 Member
    I think offering help like that is a good idea. She has asked for suggestions and you are offering that to her. I think that she will be happy to know that someone cared enough to offer some advice.

    On top of that I think if you dont offer that info to try to help her you will just feel bad later and wish you had done it.
  • CurlyCockney
    CurlyCockney Posts: 1,394 Member
    Was the request for information on her bio or did she ask you directly? I think if it was me, I wouldn't put a note in with whatever the item for sale was but I would either talk to her (if I was asked directly) or respond to her bio if the request was made there. I'd also give more options, for example cheaper stores or areas to shop in as well as social services/shelters etc, so that she doesn't feel like people think she's at rock bottom (even if she is).

    It speaks volumes that you want to help, and that you are mindful of how she may feel about it. I hope you find a way.
  • dubird
    dubird Posts: 1,849 Member
    For me, if she's asking for suggestions or advice, I would give her contact info for social services. Maybe not info on homeless resources, as I don't think that's appropriate unless I KNOW they're homeless, but there are many social services that will help people aquire basic things they need, espically if children are involved.
  • Blackdawn_70631
    Blackdawn_70631 Posts: 283 Member
    My mom let them live in our house for an entire month. The little girl lived with me in my room.
    Almost 20 years later, my mom still talks to the kids like they're her own children.
    Not saying anything bad. Was nice to have a lil sister & 2 other younger brothers. My lil brother bein the third & I was the oldest out the bunch. We all learned how to live with each other and take care of each other.
    They're dad was a drunk and I think a wife beater. She had to get away from him and had no money.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,984 Member
    Advice is fine. The person receiving it has the option of accepting or not. But IMO, delivery of the advice always makes the difference. Some aren't very good at conveying while others are excellent. Good luck.

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  • 4whirlygigs
    4whirlygigs Posts: 11 Member
    edited October 2015
    I would give them the item for free and leave it at that. If she has a bio somewhere, she has access to Google and can get social services contact info herself if needed.

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