The struggle is real

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jlwhidby
jlwhidby Posts: 5 Member
in Motivation and Support
I chose to pursue a healthy life-style a year and a half ago, and have lost 60 pounds. My goal weight is about 15 pounds away which I have been working towards for several months now. I've found that I've been less strict with my food because I'm surrounded by people who don't live a healthy lifestyle and want to hang out and have dinner at restraunts without many healthy options. I also live in the south and southern cooking is everywhere. If the family is involved and I don't eat what they're cooking (that is soaked in butter and deep fried), it's considered an insult to them. Even though my fiancé is very proud of me and supportive, he continuously brings junk food into the house that I have trouble resisting. Nutella is my drug of choice. I try to eat organic and non GMO. I also try to juice if time permits. But it doesn't seem to be enough. I am limited with exercise due to a heart condition, so I'm limited in that arena. So, I just wanted to reach out for support and advise. I would like to make more friends who are active on this forum to help keep me on track.

Replies

  • valgal35
    valgal35 Posts: 5 Member
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    Hi! I happened to come across your post on the day I'm getting back into the swing of things. I also live in the South where southern-style cooking is a cultural norm, but instead of thinking this is tempting, I would encourage you to enjoy how good it tastes coming from such a loving family! I'm a college student who hasn't learned how to cook as well as others, and keeping a positive attitude about good-tasting southern food actually helps improve my mood. Sounds like you have such a good winning streak already - Keep up the awesome work! Managing a heart condition is brave, and I think you're doing everything right so far, based on your post!
  • sinbad714
    sinbad714 Posts: 28 Member
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    Lie and say that you have a heart condition and that food will make it worse. Hehehe
  • vegangela_
    vegangela_ Posts: 154 Member
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    Surely your family can see how great you're looking and feeling since losing 60lbs. Perhaps you could do some cooking for them and show them how delicious and wonderful nutritious food is?
    I'd put my foot down if I were you about you fi bringing junk food into the house. I make hubby muffins and sweets and 'healthy junk food' that seems to stop him buying really naughty stuff and bringing it home.
  • jlwhidby
    jlwhidby Posts: 5 Member
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    Thanks for the replies. It would be interesting to think about family cooking differently. I usually dread gathering because of facing the unhealthy options and they tend to love with food. It is weird how they approach my healthy lifestyle. In the same conversation I'll here, "you looks so good. I need to lose some weight" and "well, Hun, you bearly ate anything. You must not like my cookin'" (while completely insisting I eat more and piling stuff on my plate). I'll have to explore different approaches.

    And Vegangela- you're right. I should put my foot down about the junk food. We are now a year away from the wedding and he wants to lose too.

    Sinbad714- I should use that one!! It's a true story.

  • megcorey
    megcorey Posts: 49 Member
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    Take alil of everything eat wat you know u can get by with for the day, then just walk to the trash not saying anything ,it over before they notice o:)
  • coaoalo
    coaoalo Posts: 104 Member
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    I'm not sure what to do about your family & the restaurants (since I've not worked it out yet...) but with my boyfriend I made a "rule" that he's only allowed to bring junk into the house if it's going to be eaten the same day. He sometimes leaves a multipack of chocolate in his car but I don't know about that and so don't feel tempted. It's also made him healthier, since he can't be bothered to go to the store some days.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,717 Member
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    jlwhidby wrote: »
    Thanks for the replies. It would be interesting to think about family cooking differently. I usually dread gathering because of facing the unhealthy options and they tend to love with food. It is weird how they approach my healthy lifestyle. In the same conversation I'll here, "you looks so good. I need to lose some weight" and "well, Hun, you bearly ate anything. You must not like my cookin'" (while completely insisting I eat more and piling stuff on my plate). I'll have to explore different approaches.

    And Vegangela- you're right. I should put my foot down about the junk food. We are now a year away from the wedding and he wants to lose too.

    Sinbad714- I should use that one!! It's a true story.

    Then respond, "I LOVE your food! But I'm full right now. Maybe I'll have more later." That generally works for me. Also, bring a dish that you make to the family meals (if that's culturally acceptable). That way you know you have at least one healthy choice and then have very small portions of the other things.

    Restaurants can be tricky, but personally, I go out to eat for the company and the atmosphere. Good food is a plus, obviously, but I will have something small to eat right before I go so that I'm not overly hungry.
  • foreverslim1111
    foreverslim1111 Posts: 2,619 Member
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    I'm not from the south but I adore southern fried chicken (made with buttermilk type batter) and just learned how to make it. I looked it up and found that I could fit one chicken thigh with a side of steamed veggies as a meal in to my 1200 calorie day. If your going to go to a gathering where you know what the menu will to be, try to look up your favorites and have just small portions of those. you might have to estimate cals but that way you can enjoy the food guilt free. You can do the same with junk food if you want to have it. You just can't have huge portions of it. I think anyone trying to lose weight shares some of your struggles and you soon learn how to work around them. I know that people often are not very supportive when they know your trying to control your intake of food. I think seeing you succeed makes some of them feel guilty. Some of them tell themselves that it's impossible for them to lose weight and there you go blowing their excuses away.
  • honkytonks85
    honkytonks85 Posts: 669 Member
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    jlwhidby wrote: »
    I try to eat organic and non GMO. I also try to juice if time permits.

    Why? None of these things have anything to do with weight and really aren't even particularly healthy for you (organic and non GMO aren't healthier than the alternatives). You're struggling because you're worrying about things that aren't even important in the context of your weight loss. Readjust - calories in and calories out are what's important. You can achieve a caloric deficit and still eat the foods you enjoy, you just need to eat less of them. Obviously dining out all the time is not going to help you because you can't control the calories, but allowing yourself a buffer so you can dine out every now and then works for most people here.



  • jlwhidby
    jlwhidby Posts: 5 Member
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    Thanks for all the advice! Keep it coming. I love it. I will try all of those things at the next family gathering. In particular, I may have to cook something to take with me as a dish. That's a great idea. :)

    Also, I try eat non GMO and organic because I was raised on a farm that had such, mostly because of the cost of going to the store. We preserved, canned, and froze vegetables, fruit, and meats. I was healthy and lean, as my family was. It wan't until processed foods that I began to be unhealthy and gain unnecessary weight. We pulled weeds by hand from the garden without the use of chemicals to kill them. Our meat was lean and the animals were treated as they should be, with respect. They ate what they were supposed to.

    Take factory farms for example. Cows aren't supposed to eat corn and various cheap left over scraps. They are supposed to eat fresh grass. If farmers were to let the cattle eat grass, as they are supposed to for only 5 days, it would eliminate at least 80% of the E. Coli in their systems. When they are raised in unsanitary conditions and are riddled with ailments, this carries over to us by what we eat.

    GMOs aren't studied enough for me to be comfortable putting them into my body. There have been studies that indicate that they could very well be harmful. Other studies saying they aren't. Other countries have required labeling at a minimum and many have outright banned them all together and refuse care packages from the US in times of famine because of our lax views of GMOs. We have the right to know what is in our foods. If people aren't worried and eat GMOs, I don't fault them. That's their choice, but we have a right to make an educated decision about it and at least need more definitive testing.

    Lastly, and I promise I'll get off my soap box, juicing has proven to be very beneficial. Cancer patients are often put on a juicing regimen. I've personally spoken to several who have told me their doctors encouraged juicing as part of their treatment and recovery. I can't ignore this. Plus, it's a great way to get nutrients from vegetables and fruits that I am otherwise not a fan of.

    So, in summation, I do those things for my overall well-being and healthy. Not for just weight loss. While losing some weight is a plus, I thrive to feel good, have energy, and for longevity. I do understand it is about calories in vs calories out, but also want nutritious calories that my body and organs thank me for.

    Ps. I highly recommend everyone watch "Food, Inc." It's a great documentary about the food industry in its entirety and how we have become so disconnected from our food.
  • fiddletime
    fiddletime Posts: 1,862 Member
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    Portion control. Eat what you've pre-logged in MFP. Eat very slowly so that you fit in with your family. That's what I do at our weekly family dinners. They'll make comments so just smile.
  • BoxerBrawler
    BoxerBrawler Posts: 2,032 Member
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    Stop being the victim and learn to say no. This is about your journey, not their feelings. Take ownership, show conviction and passion for your life style choices. If they don't like it, tough!
  • IILikeToMoveItMoveIt
    IILikeToMoveItMoveIt Posts: 1,172 Member
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    jlwhidby wrote: »
    Thanks for all the advice! Keep it coming. I love it. I will try all of those things at the next family gathering. In particular, I may have to cook something to take with me as a dish. That's a great idea. :)

    Also, I try eat non GMO and organic because I was raised on a farm that had such, mostly because of the cost of going to the store. We preserved, canned, and froze vegetables, fruit, and meats. I was healthy and lean, as my family was. It wan't until processed foods that I began to be unhealthy and gain unnecessary weight. We pulled weeds by hand from the garden without the use of chemicals to kill them. Our meat was lean and the animals were treated as they should be, with respect. They ate what they were supposed to.

    Take factory farms for example. Cows aren't supposed to eat corn and various cheap left over scraps. They are supposed to eat fresh grass. If farmers were to let the cattle eat grass, as they are supposed to for only 5 days, it would eliminate at least 80% of the E. Coli in their systems. When they are raised in unsanitary conditions and are riddled with ailments, this carries over to us by what we eat.

    GMOs aren't studied enough for me to be comfortable putting them into my body. There have been studies that indicate that they could very well be harmful. Other studies saying they aren't. Other countries have required labeling at a minimum and many have outright banned them all together and refuse care packages from the US in times of famine because of our lax views of GMOs. We have the right to know what is in our foods. If people aren't worried and eat GMOs, I don't fault them. That's their choice, but we have a right to make an educated decision about it and at least need more definitive testing.

    Lastly, and I promise I'll get off my soap box, juicing has proven to be very beneficial. Cancer patients are often put on a juicing regimen. I've personally spoken to several who have told me their doctors encouraged juicing as part of their treatment and recovery. I can't ignore this. Plus, it's a great way to get nutrients from vegetables and fruits that I am otherwise not a fan of.

    So, in summation, I do those things for my overall well-being and healthy. Not for just weight loss. While losing some weight is a plus, I thrive to feel good, have energy, and for longevity. I do understand it is about calories in vs calories out, but also want nutritious calories that my body and organs thank me for.

    Ps. I highly recommend everyone watch "Food, Inc." It's a great documentary about the food industry in its entirety and how we have become so disconnected from our food.

    Yes and yes! I agree!!!!! I had to explain to everyone multiple times about my need to eat only non-gmo and organic food. Eventually they got it in their heads. My family is Italian, so food=love is something I can understand. Whenever my husband, daughter and I would visit my parents we would bring our food and they made it. That way we all got what we needed. Big plus is they are eating more organic now! So for me it was communication, boundaries, patience and mutually acceptable compromises. The rest came together. :)
  • eep223
    eep223 Posts: 624 Member
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    jlwhidby wrote: »
    It would be interesting to think about family cooking differently. I usually dread gathering because of facing the unhealthy options and they tend to love with food. It is weird how they approach my healthy lifestyle. In the same conversation I'll here, "you looks so good. I need to lose some weight" and "well, Hun, you bearly ate anything. You must not like my cookin'"

    I try to address this by making sure that I am the one to bring something healthy to gatherings. I'll take a great big helping of what I brought, and a little taste of what else is there. When people say things like "you hardly ate anything!" I just laugh and tell them "I'm so full! It's delicious, but it's really filling!" which is actually true! As I've gotten used to smaller portions, I fill up so quickly!

  • carr3107
    carr3107 Posts: 26 Member
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    I have a DH who is not completely on board with the healthy eating thing. He actually hides the junk food from me. If I looked for it, I would find it, but not having it in front of my face cuts way down on how much of it I eat. He has no strong preference about oreos vs chips ahoy. I don't like chips ahoy, so he buys those. I keep my own junk food in a cabinet in the living room. Having to go get it from there stops about 3/4 of the random snacking.

    DH's family is notorious for shoving food at you, and mine just has a lot of it. Bringing your own healthy dish to a family thing is a good one, and then fill your plate with a lot of it. I also plan for these things by eating less and maybe an extra workout before and then by having a healthy snack right before we go so I'm not so hungry. My family eats buffet style, so sitting as far away from the food as I can helps. My MIL got on me about wasting food (because I didn't want her putting it on my plate). I finally said that it was a waste on my waist. As for commentary, you'll get some, but eating slowly and being a good conversationalist will make it less obvious and give less of an opening.

    Not to start a debate on this here, but organic and GMO have absolutely nothing to do with weight loss. The only GMO crops ingested by humans are commodity crops (canola, corn, soy and sugar beets) and papaya, which was almost wiped out by a virus. If it doesn't have one of those ingredients and you're paying more for "non-GMO," you're getting ripped off. Organic DOES NOT mean NO pesticides. It means different pesticides and more of them. Organic food has the same nutrients, not more of them. Organic actually has a higher pesticide load than conventional because organically-sourced pesticides aren't as effective. If you want no-pesticide food, you're going to have to grow it, because yields are too low without either GMOs or pesticides for any farmer to make it. Cows don't eat "scraps." They're fed grain and soy, because it produces the most meat the most efficiently. There simply isn't enough grass to feed all the beef we consume. There's a reason grass fed beef is so expensive. Nobody has ever died from GMOs, but people die from starvation and ignorance. The anti-GMO lobby relies on emotion and fear rather than science, and that does everyone a disservice.

    That said, if it makes you feel better to eat organic and avoiding GMOs keeps you away from processed food, have at it.

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