Off the weight loss wagon

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Onlymenow
Onlymenow Posts: 4
in Introduce Yourself
Over the past two years I have lost 76 pounds. I have gained some back and lost it again. I find myself falling back into old patterns. I'm not counting calories, watching what I eat, forcing myself to move, or avoiding potential triggers. I KNOW all of this, yet can't seem to get back on track. I could use some help to get back on the positive journey I have been on. I can't stay off track.

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  • TromaRon
    TromaRon Posts: 228 Member
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    I just treat MFP like a game on my phone. I have fun filling in my calories, usually before I eat. Then when I stay under for the day, I feel like I've won the game.
  • TeresaJill
    TeresaJill Posts: 28 Member
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    What if you eased off the rules and just tried to eat reasonably well, but stay at the same weight? That'd be better than adding it back on.
  • pauljsolie
    pauljsolie Posts: 1,024 Member
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    Onlymenow,

    You got to change your mindset before you can change your body. Somehow you have to find something about the way you are now that is either so repulsive, disgusting, unhealthy, unattractive, demoralizing or whatever that it jump starts your brain into thinking differently. There is probably some deep seated insecurity you have that is preventing you from going forward with what you know is the right thing to do. Mine was self-hatred that I developed quite young. I never felt good enough to have any close friends so what I did was use being fat as the reason why I didn't have any friends. I'd lose the weight then feel extremely uncomfortable, looking for yet another reason why people didn't like me. You get to the point where you say "ok, if I get skinny, then how am I going to rationalize why people don't like me". All the while it is you (me) that hates yourself (myself). It took quite some time with some professional help to come to that realization. I hope this helps in some way.

    Paul
  • fitzie63
    fitzie63 Posts: 508 Member
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    "Onlymenow,

    You got to change your mindset before you can change your body. Somehow you have to find something about the way you are now that is either so repulsive, disgusting, unhealthy, unattractive, demoralizing or whatever that it jump starts your brain into thinking differently. There is probably some deep seated insecurity you have that is preventing you from going forward with what you know is the right thing to do. Mine was self-hatred that I developed quite young. I never felt good enough to have any close friends so what I did was use being fat as the reason why I didn't have any friends. I'd lose the weight then feel extremely uncomfortable, looking for yet another reason why people didn't like me. You get to the point where you say "ok, if I get skinny, then how am I going to rationalize why people don't like me". All the while it is you (me) that hates yourself (myself). It took quite some time with some professional help to come to that realization. I hope this helps in some way.

    Paul"

    Excellent insight from Paul. We all need to fix up the "inside", our psychological self, before fixing up the "outside", our physical self, can be totally successful. Only you can decide the following:
    1) when you're ready to get back on track
    2) how you intend to accomplish your personal goals to become healthy
    3) what program that will work best for YOU
    4) how dedicated you are to becoming healthy and staying in that mode

    When all of the above factors are in place, the individual will always be very successful in becoming and staying heart healthy. GL. :)
  • tonjay1
    tonjay1 Posts: 33
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    I can relate with what you are saying. I have been on that roller coaster for years now. Don't let your mind defeat you. That is a major accomplishment to drop 70+ pounds. Don't let all your hard work go to waste. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you deserve to be happy and healty. You are probably an emotional eater like most of us. Find out what your stronghold is and break the yo yo cycle. You can do it!!! Don't give up the fight, you can win!! If you need support, feel free to add me. LET'S DO THIS!
  • veggievixen
    veggievixen Posts: 36 Member
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    Hello, welcome! It sounds like you're in a really rough place right now. I feel like getting started is always the hardest, but you're in the right place! There are so many helpful, motivating, and friendly people here. Taking a few minutes to fill out your profile, and find at least one person you feel comfortable adding as a friend can help you get started again. And as mentioned above, sometimes it's not all about the food. If food was just food and nothing else, I don't think many of us would be here. I can personally attest that losing the weight is only part of the battle. I did a lot of work on "me" once I lost weight because the thoughts that triggered the behaviors didn't disappear with the pounds. We all struggle, you are not alone, and we're here to share and help (ideally).
  • 1bubblybroad
    1bubblybroad Posts: 16
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    Well, first thing is, that you recognize that you're not on track and that makes you unhappy and/or feel bad about yourself. That's a hard way to live- believe me, I know. Maybe if you try to look at it as that getting back on track would make you feel better not only physically, but emotionally and really believe that, it would help. You've lost 76 pounds!! That's amazing! Think of how it made you feel to step on the scales and track your loss and the way eating well made your body feel. That's key for me. The days I do let myself go "wild" and eat too much, I feel like a slug. I hate that feeling. I've gotten used to exercising everyday, and find now that I NEED to if I want to get that good feeling that comes after completing it. Look at how far you've come and tell yourself how much better you are for it. I'm proud of you and what you've accomplished so far. It's taken hard work from you and I know you have the strength to keep up the hard work. Good luck to you!!
  • Onlymenow
    Onlymenow Posts: 4
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    Thank you for the motivating words. I know this is a lifetime journey, but can't seem to get the hang of it. I suppose I'm looking for perfection. My head really does know that doesn't make any sense. I've slowly gained a little weight back. This really frustrates me. I am such a "self-sabotager". I really wonder if that's what I'm doing??? I have a hard time letting myself feel successful in all areas of my life. I can't afford to continue that pattern. I want to be happy and healthy.
  • BeautyFromWithin
    BeautyFromWithin Posts: 290 Member
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    Welcome to MFP,
    I too gained some weight back after my first try, (over half my original weight loss to be exact). I know how frustrating it can be. I kept hovering in a 10lb weight range for 4 or 5 years and then I gained a little in college, so I came here and decided to try and get this healthy lifestyle down once and for all.

    Feel free to add me as a friend, I'd love to help motivate and support you. It helps to have people to keep pushing you, here at MFO that's the nice thing, you don't have to go it alone!
  • Onlymenow
    Onlymenow Posts: 4
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    I agree with some of what you have said. I don't feel that I need to dislike "how" I am currently. I believe I need to accept me, as I am. I don't like the way I look, but it took me 40 years to get here, so it's going to take me awhile to get where I want to be. I have to embrace me. Thank you for reminding me of that!
  • Onlymenow
    Onlymenow Posts: 4
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    I appreciate honesty and directness. After reading Paul's comment, I wasn't sure if I would return to this site. I agree that there are reasons that we overeat or whatever it is we do. BUT, I completely disagree with needing to find myself repulsive or whatever words he used, in order to make changes. It has taken me many years to accept and love myself. Now I need to find myself repulsive? Loving myself does not mean that I am happy with how I look or the number on the scale. It simply means that I believe I am worthy of my life and my successes. This, to me, is the motivating factor. I don't need to hear the negative. I need to hear the positive from myself and those who are supporting me. i know I don't have to agree with everything that is posted. I was simply disappointed.

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