Does anyone else not tell people that you're trying to lose weight?

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Replies

  • nyponbell
    nyponbell Posts: 379 Member
    I think people kind of know that I'm trying to lose weight, but I'm not really talking about it and I'm not being "very obvious" about it. And if someone asks me, I actually lie and say no. (I drink protein powder at work, but since I'm a vegetarian I use that as an excuse, and some people do know that I'm lifting for rehab.)

    I don't want anyone to know, pretty much for the same reasons as you -- I don't want the comments or questions when I eat something they think I shouldn't ("because it's bad for you! lots of sugar! you shouldn't have chocolate!!!") or being far more aware of how quickly/slowly I'm losing the weight. This is mainly people at work, but I also have friends I've not been "open" about it with, because I don't want that in my life right now.

    Even the people I live with who see me using the food scale a lot don't actually know that I'm weighing everything to log it; they usually only see me using it when I make my smoothies and then I use the excuse of needing to make sure I get the right balance of ingredients, because whenever I measure by eye I end up with too much spinach.

    Maybe I will be more open about it when I've lost more and you can really tell.
  • I tell very few people (my fiancé, my mom and my accountability gym partner)
  • Mexicanbigfoot
    Mexicanbigfoot Posts: 520 Member
    When I started using MFP to lose weight, I only told a very few people who were very close to me. When other people started noticing my loss, there were a lot of comments (and some speculation about how I was doing it, especially from co-workers) but I never confirmed or denied anything. The only thing I say is that I have worked my *kitten* off (literally) and I have changed my lifestyle. There are no pills or quick fixes. My co-workers see me bring my breakfast lunch and healthy snacks everyday and they see me walk during my lunch hour. They see on my social media how I have started participating in 5k's. They hear about how I had to buy smaller size pants because the ones I have been wearing are falling off me. But they still don't "get it" and I don't feel any obligation to explain myself further. I watch some of them eat fast food every single day (sometimes for breakfast and lunch) and they complain about how they need to "do something". So far, I've lost 77 pounds. I am 8 pounds from my halfway point and I feel fabulous. I have so much more energy and I am enjoying life for the first time!!
  • redperphexion
    redperphexion Posts: 193 Member
    Yep, I've only told my husband, and mentioned it to my sister. I also have an accountability buddy on MFP. This takes the fear of failure out of the equation. I feel more confident without the judgmental input, staring at what I'm eating, comments, etc., and I'm doing great. Much better than other times when I've publicly announced my goal and had the "help" of others.
  • luluinca
    luluinca Posts: 2,899 Member
    I've been at this for a little over 2 years now and am pretty close to maintaining. I told a few people and then just waited for others to notice............I do talk about the gym though, because I love it. I don't act like I'm dieting because I still eat mostly what I want, just a little less.

    Most people have been pretty supportive overall once they realized I was shrinking. I am starting to get the "you've lost enough" comments now though which are also annoying...........sheesh.

    Last year at Christmas my sister didn't send me any of her Christmas cookies and told me it was because I couldn't eat them anymore...........LOL
  • tanyamclattenburg
    tanyamclattenburg Posts: 51 Member
    All my co-workers know and do comment on the loss. But when I have something from the canteen, no comments are made. I think it's a little different for me because 75% of my co-workers are personal trainers since I work in a fitness facility.

    I get more comments like "you walking outside today or going upstairs to the gym" or "need a hand, come see me". That sort of thing.
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  • LegalMom0928
    LegalMom0928 Posts: 46 Member
    I haven't really told anyone, with the exception of my husband. For me it is really a psychological thing. I am a lifelong habitual yo-yo dieter. And if I tell people, then when I fall off the wagon, I have this awful guilt/shame thing I go through. Its so unhealthy! So, this time around, I've decided to take baby steps, keep my ultimate goal in mind, and keep my trap shut. I know that I will struggle and some days will be better than others. I'm learning to accept that.

    Thankfully, my husband is extremely supportive and gives me all the encouragement I need. He helps me stay motivated and focused, but in a healthy, non-self-fat-shaming kind of way. But, I think it would be much more difficult to go it alone. Its good to have support, even if its just one person or your MFP "friends."

    I did happen to mention it to a co-worker today, in the course of another conversation, and they mentioned that they could see a difference. Which felt great! Except that they also said I was "... getting a little...(wide eyed, puffy cheek, fat face here) before..." which stung. But I know its true. That's why I'm here! So, I'll take it as a healthy dose of motivation, accept the well intended, albeit poorly stated compliment, and be proud of what I've accomplished so far!
  • Remilia_Scarlet
    Remilia_Scarlet Posts: 55 Member
    I'm much smaller than the rest of my friends, so I generally don't mention trying to lose weight. They already poke me and say that I'm too skinny. I'm not, really; but I'm so much shorter than them that I guess they don't realize what a difference a few pounds can make.
  • MeiannaLee
    MeiannaLee Posts: 338 Member
    I mean I dont go around advertising it. Kind of like I dont go around telling people i like the same sex or what my religeon is.
    Its really no ones buisness and i feel like people knowing does more harm than none.
    If someone asks ill tell then but i usually keep ot to myself
  • The_Invisible_Boy
    The_Invisible_Boy Posts: 568 Member
    I didn't mention it to anyone. Having people come up and ask u how it's going with the diet is annoying. I just waited till they came up and mentioned the difference.
  • 100df
    100df Posts: 668 Member
    I only talk about it with my husband and MFP friends. I have now lost enough that I need to go down a size or two. I am kind of dreading people noticing and asking me about it. Can't really see it with the baggy clothes. My plan is to just say I am counting calories and leave it at that.

    I hate talking about my weight no matter where I am on the scale. My mind tries to say no one notices how big I am if it isn't discussed. A whole bunch of denial there!!
  • kiela64
    kiela64 Posts: 1,447 Member
    Great to know I'm not the only one! Thanks for all your responses! I totally agree, as a lot of you have mentioned, that it's an anxiety about being judged for how fast/slow you lose, and bc of not wanting failures to be so visible. I don't know how this will go, and I've already had a very up-and-down experience. I don't want to be scrutinized. I think it might make things harder. I'm already judging myself.

    Thinking about the future, I'm not so sure how I'd feel getting comments once it's noticeable. In the past when I've been more active people have commented "hey you've lost weight" and because I never weighed myself I didn't think I had so it was really very distressing/embarrassing for me. I don't like being the centre of attention, and I definitely agree with @seltzermint555 there's something that feels unseemly about making a spectacle of myself. I guess I'm really very much an introvert in that way :)
  • marie1911xxxx
    marie1911xxxx Posts: 3 Member
    Yeap me to, I'm doing it in secret to, I agree with everything you said, fingers crossed I can keep it up
    . Good luck x
  • kissedbythesunshine
    kissedbythesunshine Posts: 416 Member
    I don't tell people for exactly that reason...unsolicited advice. My husband is the only person who knows, and I have to set him straight periodically too lol. I just think it's best to keep these things to oneself. Unless of course you have someone who's on the same journey as you, etc.
  • Melwillbehealthy
    Melwillbehealthy Posts: 894 Member
    Not only don't I talk about my desire to lose weight, I won't listen to anyone try to tell me what to do. If they do, I zone out. My close family knows, because I've lost a lot and been doing it for 6 months. I really don't even talk about it with them much . If it doesn't come up in conversation, I certainly don't bring up the subject.
  • scolaris
    scolaris Posts: 2,145 Member
    Dorothy Parker got this right: 'Never complain. Never explain.' My mantra.