I'm that girl...
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PMA150
Posts: 43 Member
That's missing out on things because she thinks she is too fat. I try to avoid situations where I'm wearing a bathing suit or a dress. And even when I do participate I spend the entire time looking at everyone else to see what they are wearing and if they are comfortable in their skin because I am not.
I realize this is a problem. I realize I have never been happy with my body at any size. It's damaging to me and to my relationships with others. How can I accept myself for who I am while trying to lose weight and be who I want to be?
I realize this is a problem. I realize I have never been happy with my body at any size. It's damaging to me and to my relationships with others. How can I accept myself for who I am while trying to lose weight and be who I want to be?
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Replies
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You're question seems to be, "How can I accept myself for who I am while I become something different?" I think the only logical answer to that question is to wait and see who you become, and then put your energy into accepting that person for who they are. I'll give you some advice that I received and has meant a lot to me over the years ... try not to be governed by fear. If there is a thing you need or want to do, and fear is the only thing stopping you, then decide to be brave instead.0
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It may help if you are actively taking steps to become physically strong. It may also help to internalize the knowledge that most women feel some level of self-consciousness about their bodies at some point, and many have exactly the same feelings and behaviors as you. You may also find that, as you get older, you care alot less about superficial things, and more about how you feel and how you can shape the world around you, rather than shaping yourself around it. So it can't hurt to start working toward that mindset now so you can get there as soon as possible. Bottom line, you'll feel better if you take control of any given situation, rather than being controlled by it. How you do that is entirely up to you.0
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I'm in the exact same boat as you, I got bullied every single day in school and I'm still trying to rebuild my self esteem because of it, (5 years later!) The best advice I can offer to do something every day that makes you, if not happy, then pleased with yourself. For example buy some nice clothes that you like yourself wearing or some pretty underwear (just for yourself to enjoy, the world is a better place when you're wearing nice underwear I always say XD ) Or if it helps, create a plan of what you want to achieve to make yourself feel better, like doing a certain amount of exercise per day, or eating better etc.0
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"I'm that girl..."
Marlo Thomas as Anne Marie?
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I googled. That show went off the air 11 years before I was born
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Yeah, I'm old but still moving ;-).
BTW she was, and is, a cutie.0 -
I started by picking something I like about myself and every time a negative thought entered my mind I remembered the one thing I really liked (mine was my feet). I took time each day to do something that would help me reach my goal, even if it was just going for a walk or being under my calorie goal. It's a long process, but if you don't do it along the way you won't be magically happy at your goal.0
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JamestheLiar wrote: »You're question seems to be, "How can I accept myself for who I am while I become something different?" I think the only logical answer to that question is to wait and see who you become, and then put your energy into accepting that person for who they are. I'll give you some advice that I received and has meant a lot to me over the years ... try not to be governed by fear. If there is a thing you need or want to do, and fear is the only thing stopping you, then decide to be brave instead.
I may never change so I think it's best I find a way to be more confident with the way I look now and stop burying my head in the sand.0 -
JamestheLiar wrote: »You're question seems to be, "How can I accept myself for who I am while I become something different?" I think the only logical answer to that question is to wait and see who you become, and then put your energy into accepting that person for who they are. I'll give you some advice that I received and has meant a lot to me over the years ... try not to be governed by fear. If there is a thing you need or want to do, and fear is the only thing stopping you, then decide to be brave instead.
I may never change so I think it's best I find a way to be more confident with the way I look now and stop burying my head in the sand.
WHAT!?! You may never change? Do you not want to change or are you just feeling sorry for yourself? Nobody gets in shape or changes their life overnight. Start doing things now that will help you get to your goal and don't stop working towards it until you get there. You sound like you've given up before you have even started and that's just not okay. I don't know if you are a mom, but I would never let my kids give up before they give it a try.
Through failures we learn.0 -
To: I'm that girl....
Age 3: She looks at herself and sees a Queen.
Age 8: She looks at herself and sees Cinderella.
Age 15: She looks at herself and sees an Ugly Sister (Mum I can't go to school looking like this!)
Age 20: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly"- but decides she's going out anyway.
Age 30: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly" - but decides she doesn't have time to fix it, so she's going out anyway.
Age 40: She looks at herself and sees "clean" and goes out anyway.
Age 50: She looks at herself and sees "I am" and goes wherever she wants to go.
Age 60: She looks at herself and reminds herself of all the people who can't even see themselves in the mirror anymore. Goes out and conquers the world.
Age 70: She looks at herself & sees wisdom, laughter and ability, goes out and enjoys life.
Age 80: Doesn't bother to look.
Just puts on a purple hat and goes out to have fun with the world.
author unknown
Embrace who you are and are becoming....you are the best you on the planet! And to be frank, those folks in the room with you are feeling the same way, and are really not wasting too much time thinking about you. Own your life and rock it! at whatever stage of life you're in..!
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JamestheLiar wrote: »You're question seems to be, "How can I accept myself for who I am while I become something different?" I think the only logical answer to that question is to wait and see who you become, and then put your energy into accepting that person for who they are. I'll give you some advice that I received and has meant a lot to me over the years ... try not to be governed by fear. If there is a thing you need or want to do, and fear is the only thing stopping you, then decide to be brave instead.
I may never change so I think it's best I find a way to be more confident with the way I look now and stop burying my head in the sand.
Wouldn't you really rather do both? I mean, if you're not satisfied with your body, then its probably just as easy if not easier to change your body than to "learn to accept" what you already know you don't like. To do that second thing, you're basically asking how you can learn to settle for something that dissatisfies you.0 -
JamestheLiar wrote: »You're question seems to be, "How can I accept myself for who I am while I become something different?" I think the only logical answer to that question is to wait and see who you become, and then put your energy into accepting that person for who they are. I'll give you some advice that I received and has meant a lot to me over the years ... try not to be governed by fear. If there is a thing you need or want to do, and fear is the only thing stopping you, then decide to be brave instead.
I may never change so I think it's best I find a way to be more confident with the way I look now and stop burying my head in the sand.
WHAT!?! You may never change? Do you not want to change or are you just feeling sorry for yourself? Nobody gets in shape or changes their life overnight. Start doing things now that will help you get to your goal and don't stop working towards it until you get there. You sound like you've given up before you have even started and that's just not okay. I don't know if you are a mom, but I would never let my kids give up before they give it a try.
Through failures we learn.
Not giving up, just being realistic. I may never be a size 8 again. Not because I don't want to, but because there are things I want more. I can only be spread so thin. So as a mom, a wife, a full time employee there isn't much time left over for me to spend on focusing on me. So I try, I fail, I put it off for a while to take care of everyone else, I try again. I'm not being negative. I'm stating that even though I WANT to lose 50 pounds, I NEED to figure out how to not hate myself so much so that I"m not missing out on life in the meantime.0 -
JamestheLiar wrote: »You're question seems to be, "How can I accept myself for who I am while I become something different?" I think the only logical answer to that question is to wait and see who you become, and then put your energy into accepting that person for who they are. I'll give you some advice that I received and has meant a lot to me over the years ... try not to be governed by fear. If there is a thing you need or want to do, and fear is the only thing stopping you, then decide to be brave instead.
I may never change so I think it's best I find a way to be more confident with the way I look now and stop burying my head in the sand.
WHAT!?! You may never change? Do you not want to change or are you just feeling sorry for yourself? Nobody gets in shape or changes their life overnight. Start doing things now that will help you get to your goal and don't stop working towards it until you get there. You sound like you've given up before you have even started and that's just not okay. I don't know if you are a mom, but I would never let my kids give up before they give it a try.
Through failures we learn.
Not giving up, just being realistic. I may never be a size 8 again. Not because I don't want to, but because there are things I want more. I can only be spread so thin. So as a mom, a wife, a full time employee there isn't much time left over for me to spend on focusing on me. So I try, I fail, I put it off for a while to take care of everyone else, I try again. I'm not being negative. I'm stating that even though I WANT to lose 50 pounds, I NEED to figure out how to not hate myself so much so that I"m not missing out on life in the meantime.
<-- Single mom, full time employee, still lost weight and competed in a bodybuilding competition without missing out on any part of my kids' lives. Taking care of yourself is also taking care of your family. Your weight has negative impacts on you and you pass that down to them. They deserve a mom who will take them on hikes or run a 5k with them. Teach them to eat well and be active by setting a good example.0 -
Remember that there is someone out there that would do cartwheels if they woke up in your body. And remember that it's your body that is going to take you through this challenge. So be good to it.0
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