Trying to turn this fitness thing around... Help? (long post, sorry)

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EvieBarletta
EvieBarletta Posts: 1 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Hey there, I'm Evie. I'm 24 years old, and it seems like no matter how hard I try, I've never been able to really get into the whole fitness thing. In the past, I've tried doing yoga or walking or calisthenics, fell into what seemed like a workable routine for two or three months, and after that just sort of stopped. More recently, I haven't even been able to get started because the prospect seems so daunting and I haven't been able to mentally face up to trying and failing again...

I have a serious motivation issue. I really want to be healthy and have more energy and feel better like everyone talks about, but I genuinely don't know how to do that. I feel like I'm probably bad at it, because even when I do all the right things, it doesn't seem to make a difference and sticking to a routine that feels like a chore and that I just don't enjoy or noticeably benefit from has been beyond me. I guess you could say I'm discouraged.

Possible TMI but also probably relevant, I suffer from clinical depression. I go to therapy once a week, I take my meds, I'm managing, but chronic pain is still an issue. Fatigue is still an issue. Sometimes it feels like it takes a tremendous amount of energy just to be a person, and it's an effort just getting myself out of bed. Any kind of self-care is a daily struggle. When I try to eat right, I get so overwhelmed by guilt and feeling like a failure that I end up not eating at all, which, as you can imagine, doesn't do great things for my motivation, energy levels, and overall mood, and I pretty much just go back to eating whatever's easiest and hating myself for it. I'm really frustrated, because one of the basic ways to fight depression is eating well and exercising and practicing healthy habits, but for me at least, it seems like a hideous catch-22. I've done so poorly in the past and every time, I just end up feeling worse about myself, to the point where now, I don't even know how to go about getting started.

So, that's my story. I'm sorry I probably come across as a pathetic, defeatist whiner, but I feel like if I'm going to do this, I need to be honest about what I'm trying to overcome instead of trying so hard to put on a brave face and stay positive that I say a bunch of things that I know I don't mean while internally feeling like a liar and a failure and a fake. I know from experience how much that doesn't work for me. I'm also sorry if this isn't the right place for this, I realize it's a complicated problem, but I'm too ashamed to broach it with anyone in person, because I really need the people in my life to believe I'm making progress so they don't bail on me, and I'm not sure where else to turn. I really want to do better, and any genuinely considered words of wisdom or support would mean so much to me. Just, you know, maybe don't tell me I just need to believe in myself or that I can do anything I put my mind to, and don't harangue me for eating processed foods or whatever, please. That kind of thing just makes me feel more overwhelmed and likely to give up. I know positive thinking does wonders for some people, and guilt works well as a motivator for others, but right now, my messed up brain chemistry is just having none of it. I really want to find a way to turn this around. Please don't shame me and make me regret reaching out.

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  • debubbie
    debubbie Posts: 767 Member
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    I have fibromyalgia and understand the chronic pain and extreme fatigue. There were days that it was a struggle to take a shower because I was so tired and hurt so bad. I took it slow on changing habits and exercising more. I slowly cut out pop over about a six week period and traded it for flavored water. This helped me cut out wasted calories and develop a healthier habit of drinking water. At this time, my exercise goal was 20 minutes 3 times a week on a stationary bike. As it became easier, I worked on a new food habit and added something new to my fitness routine. Eventually over 22 months, I lost 70 pounds (I still have a ways to go before my goal) but I feel 1,000 times better than I did before. My fibro symptoms are almost gone when compared to how severe they were before I started working out two years ago.

    Also, I get bored with my routines and have to change things up every 10-12 weeks or I am likely to quit, Maybe changing it up and finding activities that you enjoy, like tennis, volleyball, running, boxing, kettlebell work, or anything else that sounds fun and interesting to you. I bounce between different activities and machines all the time because I like workouts to feel "new" and "fresh."

    I lost my weight by still eating processed foods and juicy cheeseburgers too. I tried to make them fit into my calorie goals, or would sometimes make switches to still enjoy them. For example, instead of the 160 calorie hamburger bun I would use a 100 calorie English muffin. Instead of mayonnaise and cheese, I would use Laughing cow cheese to give it that creamy, cheesy taste and save a bunch more in calories. I would eat baked chips instead of regular or have baby carrots with guacamole to have that crunchy side with my burger. Also, I didn't drastically cut my calories and I still eat anywhere from 1600-2000 calories a day and that helps to allow a few foods that I enjoy. I realize that I am losing weight slower than if I would be more strict with my diet, but I am able to stick with it and still lose weight.

    I suggest you start with some small goals, like walking and logging your foods for a few weeks. Once you see where your calories are coming from maybe you can work on one or two food changes to help you lose weight and feel better. Check Pinterest and Fitness Blender for some new workout ideas or see if there are some group classes or running groups that you may be interested in joining. Meeting some like minded people that aren't in your current group of family and friends may be beneficial for you because they can help motivate you and hold you accountable (you don't want to miss a group run because you won't get to talk to them) without them having to know your whole story. I joined a running group and it has been a life saver for me!

    You can add me if you like. I wish you the best of luck on your journey.
  • Lu_wallace06
    Lu_wallace06 Posts: 107 Member
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    Breathe! It's not going to happen overnight and you will come out the other side, stronger.
    Feel free to add me and can chat ;)

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