privacy!

Options
whoopsadaisy
whoopsadaisy Posts: 13 Member
in Motivation and Support
I know it's said that people who try to lose weight with friends have more success. But I think as with everything, that is not the case for every person.
I value my privacy too much. But it's hard to try and make changes, without people noticing. I really do not want to discuss what I"m doing or how I'm doing it. Because I don't want other opinions.
I know some people would be nothing but supportive, but I also know others would ask a bunch of questions only to give the opportunity for them to talk about themselves.
I work with a gal who supposedly gave up bread. And she supposedly lost weight. I have never said anything negative to her about it, but I have also never asked her anything about it. But gee, for some reason, I know a lot of details.
If I want to know more about someone's diet or exercise, I will ask. But I really do not want to know.
I have heard many catty comments about people who have lost weight, or about diets others have gone on.
Well, not really sure what the point of all this is. I guess I'm just wondering if there are others like me, who kind of want to diet in secret. Maybe I'm setting myself up for failure by not putting it out there. But I do have to visit a Dr several month down the road to check out some things, so I am accountable. I just don't want to be accountable to anyone else. It's private to me.

Replies

  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,575 Member
    Options
    Okay then. I will not tell you about my diet and you don't have to tell me about yours.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    Options
    Have some pat answers ready to go if anyone asks. Most people are eager to tell you their favourite tip rather than understanding your success so you should be able to easily turn the conversation about them.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    Options
    To people I did not care to give details I tell them I registered at the local clinic, after thanking them for noticing. A couple people have asked if I was recovering from a major illness, and I simply reply, "No, it's all good." Big smile.
  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
    Options
    Nope, I get it!! You do you :)
  • JessiBelleW
    JessiBelleW Posts: 815 Member
    Options
    When I first started running I did so in my bare feet. Because I didn't want to invest in expensive running shoes if I wasn't going to stick at it.
    I kinda feel like dieting/ losing weight is the same. I'd rather not tell people and then have them ask me 'hows it going'. So I don't tell them and just go on doing it. As you lose weight people start to notice on their own :)
  • dfree4wb
    dfree4wb Posts: 60 Member
    Options
    I understand, some people try to make it a job. Good luck!
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
    Options
    I haven't told anyone but my dh and dd that I am losing weight this time. I live with them.
    It isn't a huge secret but I don't really want to talk about weight loss with everyone. If they notice and ask I would admit that I have lost some weight and try to change the subject.
    I haven't changed the kind of food I eat much at all. I just log and eat smaller portions of higher calorie stuff so it doesn't look like I'm dieting and there really isn't anything to say except I'm eating the appropriate amount of calories now. I'm not spending hours exercising every day. I'm not losing a lot of weight very fast.
    My food diary is enough accountability for me.
  • whoopsadaisy
    whoopsadaisy Posts: 13 Member
    Options
    I'm glad I'm not the only one who likes to keep things a little more private. Not a secret, but not up for discussion either. I think part of it is because of all the different opinions, all the different diets, supplements, workouts, etc.... There is so much information out there, and it really is such an individual thing. And also, so many supplements, etc.. are just out to make money off of desperate people.
    So I want to keep all that stuff out of my head.
  • yayamom3
    yayamom3 Posts: 939 Member
    Options
    I'm kind of in the same boat. I've been doing intermittent fasting for several weeks. I've been making excuses for not eating meals with friends and family members, because I don't want to have to hear all about why skipping meals is a terrible thing. I also don't want to have to explain how IF works. But I know it's just a matter of time before I'm going to have to talk about it. Guess it's just the price to be paid for having people who love/care about/are interested in me.
  • niniundlapin
    niniundlapin Posts: 327 Member
    edited November 2015
    Options
    I can totally get this. I think it depends on what kind of people you share your weight-loss journey... Some of them just like to take a peek & see what you're doing; some of them would like to have the same progress/result as you but have zero interest in having the same commitment; and there are those who know a lot, have been through a lot, and are willing to share/ discuss/ engage in constructive conversations about it. Unfortunately, most of them in real life are not the third type (at least it's like that for me).

    I also like to keep this weight-loss/fitness experience private because I know most people around me in real life either don't see this as serious as me or they're not ready for the commitment. I'm willing to share, just that it's hard to make someone understand the rationale behind it when they just want to find a topic for that moment (at family dinner or some gathering/reunion events). And yes, it's all individual and driven by internal motivation, so I feel like there's no point to actively inform the others about it (unless there are enablers who might sabotage the plan in some cases).

    "I'm being responsible to myself and I know what's working & healthy for me. If you don't know more than me and don't want to go through the same thing as I do, don't ask." <-- I always have this line prepared in my head but fortunately don't have to say the whole thing out to anyone yet. Lol.
  • kat_princess12
    kat_princess12 Posts: 109 Member
    edited November 2015
    Options
    When people ask if/how I'm losing weight, I have a couple of vague details that aren't exactly secret that I can give out: "Well, I joined the YMCA (I live in a small community and lots of people see me going and coming)", or "I've been eating more salads (they can see what I bring for lunch every day)." Only one or two people have tried to offer tips - to which I usually just smile and reply, "I think I've heard of that".
  • gwensteponya
    gwensteponya Posts: 12 Member
    Options
    I TOTALLY understand your line of thinking! For me, how I eat is personal. I chalk it up to having eating issues and a family that is always talking weight and food. I despise people saying I'm on a diet. That's not a word I ever use. I'm trying to make healthier choices. I'm trying to live a healthy lifestyle. Those aren't even things I promote, but somehow it gets around and "everyone" at work seems to be talking about how I eat or watching what I eat. It's creepy. I feel like I'm under a microscope or on display.
  • Smallerjojo2015
    Smallerjojo2015 Posts: 97 Member
    Options
    Only my husband was told when I started he was doing it as well
    Most people no now
    Don't think I can hide it now lol
    I have lost 101 lbs so far
    If they ask I tell them I have done it with myfittnesspal
  • fiddletime
    fiddletime Posts: 1,862 Member
    Options
    I don't talk about it except to my husband. If asked I mention MFP and calorie counting and they usually get a glazed look and change the topic. Nobody writes the name down, but someone told me about it and I wrote the name down, so that's why I mention it.
  • whoopsadaisy
    whoopsadaisy Posts: 13 Member
    Options
    Ha ha -- Yeah, I guess if you're lost over 100 pounds, people will notice!
    It's sad, but I find so many people are not actually supportive. I find I either get unwanted advice, or a negative response, or they feel like they have to make excuses for their own habits. So I don't want to bore people with diet and exercise talk. I don't want to hear how my efforts are futile. Yes, I know I am almost 52 years old and my efforts will yield slow results, at best. I still feel a million times better, when I exercise, even if I don't lose a pound. And I don't want to make anyone else feel guilty. I am not worried about anyone else or their routines. Or lack of routine.
    So anyway, when I get to the point and someone notices, I will tell them what I've done. Because then, they can't tell me what I should be doing, or how it won't work, because it will have worked.
    I also agree that no one wants to hear about counting calories and exercising. They want to hear about a pill, or something easy.
    What I am doing is boring and slow. I am doing my best, and still living my life, and I don't want this to take over.
  • ARC1603
    ARC1603 Posts: 113 Member
    Options
    Unfortunately for some people dieting is a hobby. One they might not be particularly gifted at but they enjoy nevertheless. It's something they want to talk about and share with others, in the same way you'd talk about books you like to read, what was on telly last night or how your team did at the weekend etc

    If I get asked, I generally put it down to being busy with two young children, not eating as much crap while in at work etc. I find people aren't really asking because they want to know, they're more just trying to congratulate me and make conversation about my accomplishment.
  • middlehaitch
    middlehaitch Posts: 8,484 Member
    Options
    I just quietly, over a year, slowly lost weight and got fitter.

    Even my SO didn't notice anything different for the first month. I explained calorie counting to him and that I had bought a years pass to the local rec centre. Then I told him I was just taking it slow, no rush, and I wasn't announcing it to all and sundry. He sat back and watched my year of work be a great success. ( he did follow suit a couple of years later after seeing my success was relatively easy and long term).

    Because I did it slowly few people that I saw regularly noticed. Those that I saw every few months did. The usual comment went along the lines of ' h you are looking great, what have you done'. A quick lost a bit of weight and done a few exercises usually satisfied them.

    I would have been uncomfortable having to do progress reports to people, and fully understand it being a private and personal endeavour.

    Cheers, h.
  • Whitezombiegirl
    Whitezombiegirl Posts: 1,042 Member
    Options
    Nobody cares to hear that i find dieting incredibly easy. I have a tiny appetite. I love salad and vegetables. I dont use food as rewards or entertainment or eat for comfort. I dont eat in restaurants or have random cakes at coffee shops. I do eat cookies and chocolate most days though- but small ones. I drink alcohol very rarely but when i do i appreciate good wine. I make my own breakfast and lunch everyday and im a great home cook. I also love to dance and swim ( gotta work on the weights though). I have strategies.

    People ask about my weight loss but they dont really want to hear it. They want to hear about a miracle cure.
  • whoopsadaisy
    whoopsadaisy Posts: 13 Member
    Options
    They really don't want to hear about it. I have heard so many negative comments about people who have lost weight. People don't believe that they did it on their own. They had to have taken something right? Ugh -- I get tired of that kind of attitude. So I will keep my efforts to myself and make sure that I keep a positive attitude about it for myself and for others.

Categories