I have 100+ lbs., but I'm overwhelmed and stuck...help, friends and support appreciated.

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LourdesitaMaria
LourdesitaMaria Posts: 58 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hello, I'm Maria. I have struggled with my weight my whole life and I have tried everything to lose weight at some point my life. 2 and a half years ago I lost 50lbs for my wedding. I felt so much better about myself. Once married, I had to adjust and found it difficult. I gain the 50lbs. back and more. Now I am at my heaviest ever and I am stuck, overwhelmed and feeling helpless. At 38 and at 375lbs. I don't know how to even begin this time around to begin to lose the weight. I struggle with balancing a fitness regimen and a diet that will work for me.

I thought to post to see if I could find some solidarity, help and support amongst the myfitnesspal community. I need help and any possible positive advice and kindness from anyone willing to share ideas on how I should begin again and stick to it for good this time.

Thank you kindly for taking the time to read about my predicament and to share with me through your responses.
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Replies

  • elikayparly
    elikayparly Posts: 4 Member
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    Hi there I'm also looking to drop about 20 kgs before Christmas, I know it's only a month away but I'm desperate, want to be friends we can motivate each other
  • gardnerslater
    gardnerslater Posts: 42 Member
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    Maria, I was reading a post by another MFPer and what he said was one day at a time, ok be meal at a time. Instead of becoming overwhelmed by all you have/want/need to lose, set incremental goals. Find a motivation and use it until you really come to believe you are worth the time, energy and investment.

    So you weren't successful last time, so what?! This time will be different because you're different. Find your commitment, renew it, and you can always reach out to me, I've ridden the weight roller coaster and understand the denial, frustration, desparation, anger, etc .

    Start now! You're already on your way!
  • malovafarms
    malovafarms Posts: 78 Member
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    knowing and awareness that you struggle in a pattern I'm guessing helps to be at least objective of the vicious cycle,,, i like watching you tube vids that promote health so I can keep myself brainwashed towards health or at least try to balance out the incredibly saturated food addiction triggering media and streets out there .. :) one of my fav is " life regenerator" I'm not in any way a raw vegan , but i do make juice and i luv his attitude towards the mental blocks of losing weight and detoxification.. good luck .. embrace the support on here ! Ps mineralize mineralize.. higher nutrients means less overeating because your getting what you essentially need .. or at least thats what I'm trying, its a slippery slope for all us though ...so good luck to all of us !
  • nicholmonson19
    nicholmonson19 Posts: 2 Member
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    Hi Maria. I'm in the same boat. Maybe we can support each other through this. Sent you a friend request
    Nichol
  • MissElectricEyeliner
    MissElectricEyeliner Posts: 122 Member
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    My highest weight I saw on the scale was 297lbs, even though I'm sure I was 300lbs at one time. At that time I thought I was so far out at sea it would be almost impossible to get back to a smaller weight. I thought about all time it would take. I started back in January trying to lose, did plenty of reading on MFP and went down a better path. I have yo-yo'd a lot this year but still managed to get down to 242lbs. You just have to start. When you start seeing the number go down on the scale it lights a fire. I don't exercise because of a car accident that hurt my back last year and being born with an odd hip causes lower back pain. Diet is what you'll want to focus on, exercise helps but only if you feel you can do it. My story is that I was 255lbs four years ago, got down to 216lbs then started college - few years later ballooned up to 297lbs. It hurt me more than anyone could imagine. I kept telling myself that it's okay and that it is reversible. Just find your fire. B)

    One of the best starting tips I can give is to buy a food scale and weigh your food.
    I mainly eat chicken to fill me up.

    70241855.png
  • Raewin84
    Raewin84 Posts: 1 Member
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    Maria, you are not alone and everyone starts somewhere and has dips and dives. Don't let it get you too down. Since the wedding was a goal you had in mind, maybe set yourself a new one to help keep you driven? I find that helps me when I cannot be bothered to exercise. Once you've met that goal, create a new one.

    Have you ever done a 5k? There are a lot of events, mainly driven by charities where everyone gets together to walk or run a distance. Sync that with a couch to 5k, where there are a gazillion guides on how to do it, and you have step one. Maybe get friends or family involved too; go for a long walk on Sunday's and you can mix socialising with moving.

    As to eating, that's harder to change, as habits are a main driver. This app helps though and maybe consider booking a good course or start a local "come dine with me" with close friends where you can try out new recipes. Have some fun with it, y'know?

    Just don't give up. The journey is long as it last forever, but what helps is having high points to keep you going through the low points.

    Good luck!
  • LilynEdensmom
    LilynEdensmom Posts: 612 Member
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    I'm near my heaviest weight, I'm 237 right now, heaviest 247 and I'm only 5'1, I have around 100 pounds to lose, I"m starting over due to a major health scare. I'm adding you as a friend, anyone else feel free to add me.

    I'm taking things one day and one meal at a time. Starting small with fitness goals, I'm doing a 30 day plank challenge and walking one mile on my off days this week (I will adjust as soon as I feel okay) I can't do alot of strenous exercising till the cardio dr clears me but he says walking is okay.

    Eating is what kills me, I know I use food kinda like a drug...but just hopefully when I update my profile pic on the 18th (I'm going to do it monthly) there will be even a small change.
  • shw112
    shw112 Posts: 60 Member
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    hi:)
    My advise would be not to focus on how much you have to lose overall- set yourself smaller goals (weekly or monthly) and work towards those. In time it will all add up. I understand what it's like to feel overwhelmed. I want to lose around 60 lbs in total which feels huge, but right now I'm just focusing on trying to lose 8 lbs this month, and I'll figure out next month when I get there. I recommend joining the monthly weight loss challenge things on here, here's the link to the November one: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10276289/november-2015-weight-loss-challenge
    that might give you some motivation to get started.
    I hope you feel better, feel free to add me. I'm just starting out too, so we can motivate each other:)
  • holly_roman
    holly_roman Posts: 116 Member
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    Hi, Best advise I can give you. JUST DO IT. no excuses, no backing out, be accountable. First thing you will want to do is fill your house will good food, healthy veggies/fruits, good protien(helps keep you full longer). Then eat 1 day normal and track it. Find out where you are at, how many calories are you consuming. Then cut it back by 500 for 1 week. Then the next week cut it back more, until you are between 1200-1500 calories. If you are hungry eat to 1500, if you aren't then don't. Focus on your bodies response, keep snacks and junk out of your immediate vicinity, keep a water bottle near you. Focus on food first. Don't worry about exercise yet. Calories in/Calories out CICO. Focus on hitting your calorie goal and celebrate when you do. Become obsessed with eating right, buy a scale and measure food. Once a week have a weigh in and put it on MFP (mine is weigh in wednesday). Once you got that down start small exercises, walk once a day. Then walk twice a day or extend out your one walk. Keep going until your knees feel better, your feet don't hurt walking, and your back is starting to handle the walking. once you are feeling a little better with that, start strength exercise. Set goals..they are super fun to hit. first goal 500 cals less for the week! don't forget to celebrate when you reach a goal. It doesn't have to be food, it can be pretty earing or whatever. whatever you do, don't jump in full boar..you will likely quit then. Slow changes and within 2-4 weeks you will notice how obsessed you are with eating good food and bad food (ie candy)with make you feel icky. And remember you don't have to cut out great food. If you love pulled pork fit it into your cals and have fun. lol..get friends on here, it will help. I wish you the best, you can add me as a friend if you wish. I believe in you!
  • FGTisme
    FGTisme Posts: 87 Member
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    Start by reading these:

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10260517/most-helpful-posts-getting-started-must-reads#latest

    You can absolutely do this! Eat the calories MFP suggests, learn how to log accurately and consistently, and have an attitude geared toward success instead of failure (for example, quit judging your worth by your weight; focus on your good characteristics). It will happen for you!
  • rankinsect
    rankinsect Posts: 2,238 Member
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    lmvelez wrote: »
    Hello, I'm Maria. I have struggled with my weight my whole life and I have tried everything to lose weight at some point my life. 2 and a half years ago I lost 50lbs for my wedding. I felt so much better about myself. Once married, I had to adjust and found it difficult. I gain the 50lbs. back and more. Now I am at my heaviest ever and I am stuck, overwhelmed and feeling helpless. At 38 and at 375lbs. I don't know how to even begin this time around to begin to lose the weight. I struggle with balancing a fitness regimen and a diet that will work for me.

    I thought to post to see if I could find some solidarity, help and support amongst the myfitnesspal community. I need help and any possible positive advice and kindness from anyone willing to share ideas on how I should begin again and stick to it for good this time.

    Thank you kindly for taking the time to read about my predicament and to share with me through your responses.

    Don't focus on how long the road is, focus on small goals. Every 5 pounds I am just trying for the next 5. I started over 300 too - I'm down almost 50 of the 145 pounds to my goal.

    My tips: make no immediate diet changes except in portion size; later you might decide to eat healthier but don't tackle too much at once. Plan your meals in advance and pre-log them, then you just use the log plus a kitchen scale like a recipe to assemble your meals.

    And don't be discouraged by the fact that it's slow, or that you sometimes will retain water and the scale won't behave, or that some days you mess up and eat too much. Just keep on at it - as long as you eat at a deficit your eventual success isn't just possible, it's inevitable.
  • LourdesitaMaria
    LourdesitaMaria Posts: 58 Member
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    Thank you for your advice RANKINSECT! Another new year and I'm at it again. I'm trying to take this 1 day at a time, and really planning out everything as you suggested. Thank you again!
  • Gerbsxyng412
    Gerbsxyng412 Posts: 86 Member
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    I am on the same page... I have lost 70 and have 100 to go... make small goals.. don't change everything at once... start eating healthier and less.. cut out pop.. junk food...fast food etc...
    Take it 1 day at a time as we didn't gain this weight overnight and it won't go away overnight :)
  • cbelc2
    cbelc2 Posts: 762 Member
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    The small things add up. Today, I started my day with a 30 minute walk. I just had lunch and broke the rice portion off my frozen meal and threw it away. I have logged all my food and exercise. It's one decision at the time. We can do this. Be strong.
  • buttersbunch
    buttersbunch Posts: 180 Member
    edited January 2016
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    From 410 pounds to 135 pounds, losing 275 pounds was HARD... but being morbidly obese? MUCH harder!!
  • Wicked_Seraph
    Wicked_Seraph Posts: 388 Member
    edited January 2016
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    I've not lost much, and I'm still very new to this - but I've found it helpful to try to avoid thinking about OMG I HAVE SO MUCH TO LOSE and trying to think small. Normally I get frustrated after a "bad" day of eating and before you know it, I break a one-week, two-week, streak. This time around I'm at a 28-day streak... not amazing, but certainly better than I've done before!

    I think it's easy to fall into a trap of being discouraged when we don't see super-quick results that we all want... but none of us got to the weights we disliked overnight, and changing very familiar, comfortable habits takes time and patience. I find it helpful to read encouraging posts from other users, none of whom lost the weight overnight! I'm trying to be patient with myself and learn how to really make better choices, rather than simply cut a sh*tload of calories for a week and eventually gorge on a pizza because "I've earned it". That derails the whole train of good vibes. Doing this several times resulted in me gaining 10 lbs over a couple of months... if you look at my weight progress, you'll notice the spike ;p

    It also helps to have supportive people around you. If you'd like more MFP friends, please feel welcome to add me! More encouragement is always a good thing! :smiley:
  • LourdesitaMaria
    LourdesitaMaria Posts: 58 Member
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    buttersbunch wrote: »
    From 410 pounds to 135 pounds, losing 275 pounds was HARD... but being morbidly obese? MUCH harder!!

    Wow!! What an amazing feat!!! CONGRATULATIONS!! How I wish I could lose that much, incredible!!! I have been trying to make small changes without going crazy, because I've noticed the moment I start depriving me of certain things I cave. I'm not seen much change in the scale though and that is distressing.

    But I will say ALL of you are an inspiration to me for sharing your successes and your advice. Thank you!!! Add me please, support is definitely a must and a plus.
  • LourdesitaMaria
    LourdesitaMaria Posts: 58 Member
    Options
    Wicked_Seraph wrote: »
    I've not lost much, and I'm still very new to this - but I've found it helpful to try to avoid thinking about OMG I HAVE SO MUCH TO LOSE and trying to think small. Normally I get frustrated after a "bad" day of eating and before you know it, I break a one-week, two-week, streak. This time around I'm at a 28-day streak... not amazing, but certainly better than I've done before!

    I will say that I completely understand what you're saying about one-week and two-week streaks...I have those a lot. It is a constant mental battle for me, but I certainly commend you on your 28-day "streak"; that is awesome, I would not call it a streak at this point :) Great job!! I want to get to that point too. I did it before when I was anticipating my wedding day. I oftentimes find myself asking, why is it so difficult for me now that I'm preparing myself to start a family? Day by day, and as all of you are relaying, one small change at a time!!
  • scolaris
    scolaris Posts: 2,145 Member
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    Well, you've identified the problem with dieting for a very specific goal or date!
    In that case, dieting is just an inconvenience one endures to secure a specific 'product,' eg a goal size wedding or class reunion dress, a bikini for a cruise, a particular size of jeans...
    To lose weight and keep it off you have to learn to love the PROCESS not the product. Throw away the calendar. Let this change take time. Toss out all the shoulda, coulda, woulda thinking. Do what you love. Eat what you like. Begin to assemble data on yourself. Lots & lots of data! Log what you eat honestly every day. Weigh everything that can be weighed before you eat it. What's worth it to you? What could go? Were you actually hungry or just bored & 'hangry'? How do you feel after eating certain things? If you can stand it, weigh yourself every day. Then you'll see the scale moves randomly up & down. No it's not 'punishing' or 'rewarding' you. It's just more data. Use an app like happy scale to create a trend line. Measure yourself too. Sometimes measurements change when the scale feels stuck. And visa versa... Unless you have a proven disability, move a little more every day. It's not necessary but it is an oh so joyful component of living in a human body. If you think you hate exercise you just haven't found what you like yet. Get rid of 'all or nothing' thinking. You will have bad moments, hours, days. Poor choices will be made. Fish & chips will be accompanied by beer. Second slices of cake will not be demurely refused. Gym dates will be shirked. It's not the end of the world. If you took a wrong turn on the way to the airport departing on your dream vacation would you just go home & cancel the whole trip? Hells no! So get out your weight loss GPS and renavigate back to where you got lost and then proceed. Slowly and surely you will build the life of a thinner fitter person. Slowly and surely your body will match.
    You can do this! xo
  • LourdesitaMaria
    LourdesitaMaria Posts: 58 Member
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    scolaris wrote: »
    Well, you've identified the problem with dieting for a very specific goal or date!
    In that case, dieting is just an inconvenience one endures to secure a specific 'product,' eg a goal size wedding or class reunion dress, a bikini for a cruise, a particular size of jeans...
    To lose weight and keep it off you have to learn to love the PROCESS not the product. Throw away the calendar. Let this change take time. Toss out all the shoulda, coulda, woulda thinking. Do what you love. Eat what you like. Begin to assemble data on yourself. Lots & lots of data! Log what you eat honestly every day. Weigh everything that can be weighed before you eat it. What's worth it to you? What could go? Were you actually hungry or just bored & 'hangry'? How do you feel after eating certain things? If you can stand it, weigh yourself every day. Then you'll see the scale moves randomly up & down. No it's not 'punishing' or 'rewarding' you. It's just more data. Use an app like happy scale to create a trend line. Measure yourself too. Sometimes measurements change when the scale feels stuck. And visa versa... Unless you have a proven disability, move a little more every day. It's not necessary but it is an oh so joyful component of living in a human body. If you think you hate exercise you just haven't found what you like yet. Get rid of 'all or nothing' thinking. You will have bad moments, hours, days. Poor choices will be made. Fish & chips will be accompanied by beer. Second slices of cake will not be demurely refused. Gym dates will be shirked. It's not the end of the world. If you took a wrong turn on the way to the airport departing on your dream vacation would you just go home & cancel the whole trip? Hells no! So get out your weight loss GPS and renavigate back to where you got lost and then proceed. Slowly and surely you will build the life of a thinner fitter person. Slowly and surely your body will match.
    You can do this! xo

    Scholaris, thank you so much for painting this beautiful and optimistic picture of how I should best view this journey...because, truly, weight loss is a journey not a destination!!! Thank you, thank you!!!

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