Relationships vs Weight

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stephgreene
stephgreene Posts: 143
in Motivation and Support
I know I'm young and I still have lots of time, but I'm just tired of seeing all of my friends be in relationships and being the fat friend who just watches. This, on top of some nasty things that my mother said to me just had me wondering about everyone else out there...


So, has anybody else found that your weight has hindered you from being in a relationship?
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Replies

  • BeautyFromWithin
    BeautyFromWithin Posts: 290 Member
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    I see my friends get boyfriends all the time and I've never had one.
    I don't think it's weight that hinders me, I think it's a persons self confidence.
    I lack self confidence and I'm extremely shy. I've had guys be interested in me, even when I feel heavier, but I think its your attitude, many guys are going to be drawn to the confident girl, smiling and feeling beautiful no matter her size.
    I get impatient sometimes, but I am realizing lately that once I step out of my shy comfort zone, boys notice me!
    Stay optimistic and you look gorgeous from your profile picture, so don't worry!!
    Any guy that doesnt want to date you because of your weight isn't worth the time!
  • Steph_2011
    Steph_2011 Posts: 7
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    I feel the same way and I'm only 19. I feel like im not going to be in a realtionship till I lose weight so thats why I decided to lose weight cuz I really do want to be in a relationship
  • katheern
    katheern Posts: 213 Member
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    Even when I was really overweight I didn't really have too many problems with finding dates or anything like that. A lot of it really has to do with confidence. Men find women who seem comfortable with themselves more attractive. That doesn't mean throw yourself all over them or be skanky or anything. Just remember to smile a lot and try to be part of the conversation.
  • sweetage123
    sweetage123 Posts: 100 Member
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    It's definitely all confidence. Even just feeling better in your own mind without actually losing a drastic amount of weight can make a different in your overall demeanor that would make you more attractive to the opposite sex.

    Remember, confidence is sexy on any body type =)
  • stephgreene
    stephgreene Posts: 143
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    Even when I am super-confident, it's like every guy I start talking to ends up being a douche! Maybe it's just bad luck... or who knows, maybe I don't see myself the way that other people do
  • bettertracie
    bettertracie Posts: 196 Member
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    Oh sweetheart!!..... YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!!! And rule NUMBER ONE: YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY WITH SOMEONE ELSE UNTIL YOU ARE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF!!!

    And yes, it can be a horrible mental and physical struggle, but just work on you, the rest WILL fall into place, and if you focus on the improtant things in life instead of some stupid guy that's just out to get a piece and move on, hopefully gaining something materialistic from the transaction...

    I know none of this is what you wanted to hear, but it's the God's honest truth and there is someone out there waiting for you to decide who you are and what you want to do with your life, then let the rest happen...
  • sweetage123
    sweetage123 Posts: 100 Member
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    Even when I am super-confident, it's like every guy I start talking to ends up being a douche! Maybe it's just bad luck... or who knows, maybe I don't see myself the way that other people do

    No amount of weight loss will ever stop men from being a douche lol. Men can be just as big of a jerk to a skinny girl as they can to a chubbier one. Eventually you'll learn how to pick out the good ones!
  • ilikeher
    ilikeher Posts: 78
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    I feel the same way and I'm only 19. I feel like im not going to be in a realtionship till I lose weight so thats why I decided to lose weight cuz I really do want to be in a relationship

    It is absolutely about confidence! You need to love yourself (and I dont mean your exterior self) before you can expect someone else too. Also, you need to do this for you. Not because you want a boy to like you. If you are trying to lose weight because you are looking for acceptance chances are that you will not succeed with your weight loss. And if a guy who wouldn't date you when you were a little bit bigger will date you after you've lost weight, then he is not going to treat you well because he's looking for arm candy not a girlfriend.
    Good luck and be nice to yourself!!!
  • CriticalX
    CriticalX Posts: 212 Member
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    i lost weight and it got harder for me. no one likes i worry about what i eat or i dont know whats the deal honestly
  • chrisdavey
    chrisdavey Posts: 9,834 Member
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    Plenty of my overweight friends are in relationships. I am single. Hmm...:huh:
  • BeautyFromWithin
    BeautyFromWithin Posts: 290 Member
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    Even when I am super-confident, it's like every guy I start talking to ends up being a douche! Maybe it's just bad luck... or who knows, maybe I don't see myself the way that other people do

    AAHAHAHA. This is totally my case right here in a nutshell.
    I get all the players, losers, and guys that want to use me for sex.
    Yeah, that's not what I'm about!
    I've been played too many times to count!

    The gentleman can come out of hiding anytime now...
  • Rowann
    Rowann Posts: 86
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    I've thankfully been happily married for years now, but even when I was younger (and I was always' the fat one' of my group of friends), I never had a problem getting a boyfriend (might not have always been the one I wanted... ;) ).

    The one thing I can say about my previous boyfriends. Not one of them went out with me because of how I looked. They went out with me because of who I am and the kind of person I am. I may regret having spent so much of my life overweight, but I will never regret that I met a few of the good guys on the journey to my husband (the best one!).

    Don't think for a second that anyone who will only go out with you if you're a certain weight/hair colour/build etc is going to be worth your time. They're not! There are much more important traits than looks...
  • xraychick77
    xraychick77 Posts: 1,775 Member
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    my wife is overweight...i'm small.
  • Papillon22
    Papillon22 Posts: 1,160 Member
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    You know, I had my first boyfriend when I was at my heaviest (after years of not even daring looking for one and gaining weight like crazy). Finally, one day I decided that I'd had enough, put my profile on a dating website and went out on a date with the first non-creep that contacted me (you do have to do some sorting!). We're still together. I definitely think that the biggest obstacle is ourselves.

    I'd suggest that you make a list of 20 things starting with "I am..." and see how complex you are. We are so much more than our bodies, don't you think?
  • SheCantWeight
    SheCantWeight Posts: 36 Member
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    I definitely agree that it is about confidence. My problem is when I'm not in a relationship and I'm myself guys are attracted to me but once I'm in the relationship is when I start to have the self esteem problems. Why does he like me so much? He's too good for me.. blah blah blah. I've just realized that part of the problem is that I'm not happy with myself like this and before I can be happy in a relationship and not second guess everything I needed to make a change.
  • jdm0804
    jdm0804 Posts: 98 Member
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    Even when I am super-confident, it's like every guy I start talking to ends up being a douche! Maybe it's just bad luck... or who knows, maybe I don't see myself the way that other people do

    Part of that may also be where you go to meet guys. There for a while I was going to bars to try and meet people, and was a little surprised for some reason when I couldn't find a single girl that I connected with! Luckily I recently got back together with my ex girlfriend (ex ex girlfriend?) and she loved me when I was heavier, and she'll love me when I'm ripped.

    I agree with what everyone else has said. Confidence in character is super sexy on a girl, and the best way to build it up is to get to know yourself! It ain't a fun journey, and you may have to have your heart broken, but you'll come out on top, and you'll find the self-worth (and eventually the guy) you're looking for! And nobody will ever be able to take that away!
  • jbond80
    jbond80 Posts: 356 Member
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    Oh sweetheart!!..... YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!!! And rule NUMBER ONE: YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY WITH SOMEONE ELSE UNTIL YOU ARE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF!!!

    And yes, it can be a horrible mental and physical struggle, but just work on you, the rest WILL fall into place, and if you focus on the improtant things in life instead of some stupid guy that's just out to get a piece and move on, hopefully gaining something materialistic from the transaction...

    I know none of this is what you wanted to hear, but it's the God's honest truth and there is someone out there waiting for you to decide who you are and what you want to do with your life, then let the rest happen...
  • dave4d
    dave4d Posts: 1,155 Member
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    I have found my relationships have hindered my weight. :laugh:

    It seems like most dating revolves around dining out. It makes it really hard to stick to a diet when you are eating at restaurants a lot.
  • crrc78
    crrc78 Posts: 207 Member
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    I think its your attitude, many guys are going to be drawn to the confident girl, smiling and feeling beautiful no matter her size.
    Any guy that doesnt want to date you because of your weight isn't worth the time!
  • crrc78
    crrc78 Posts: 207 Member
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    From my experience, a guy would rather have a fun, friendly, confident slightly chubby girl by his side than an uptight, starving, skinny girl... confidence is everything. If you don't love yourself, then you can't truly love others. He's out there - don't worry! Also, as a late bloomer, they come when you're not looking or expecting it!

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