Relationships vs Weight

I feel the same way and I'm only 19. I feel like im not going to be in a realtionship till I lose weight so thats why I decided to lose weight cuz I really do want to be in a relationship

It's definitely all confidence. Even just feeling better in your own mind without actually losing a drastic amount of weight can make a different in your overall demeanor that would make you more attractive to the opposite sex.

Remember, confidence is sexy on any body type

Oh sweetheart!!..... YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!!! And rule NUMBER ONE: YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY WITH SOMEONE ELSE UNTIL YOU ARE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF!!!

And yes, it can be a horrible mental and physical struggle, but just work on you, the rest WILL fall into place, and if you focus on the improtant things in life instead of some stupid guy that's just out to get a piece and move on, hopefully gaining something materialistic from the transaction...

I know none of this is what you wanted to hear, but it's the God's honest truth and there is someone out there waiting for you to decide who you are and what you want to do with your life, then let the rest happen...

I feel the same way and I'm only 19. I feel like im not going to be in a realtionship till I lose weight so thats why I decided to lose weight cuz I really do want to be in a relationship

It is absolutely about confidence! You need to love yourself (and I dont mean your exterior self) before you can expect someone else too. Also, you need to do this for you. Not because you want a boy to like you. If you are trying to lose weight because you are looking for acceptance chances are that you will not succeed with your weight loss. And if a guy who wouldn't date you when you were a little bit bigger will date you after you've lost weight, then he is not going to treat you well because he's looking for arm candy not a girlfriend.
Good luck and be nice to yourself!!!

Plenty of my overweight friends are in relationships. I am single. Hmm...:huh:

I've thankfully been happily married for years now, but even when I was younger (and I was always' the fat one' of my group of friends), I never had a problem getting a boyfriend (might not have always been the one I wanted... ).

The one thing I can say about my previous boyfriends. Not one of them went out with me because of how I looked. They went out with me because of who I am and the kind of person I am. I may regret having spent so much of my life overweight, but I will never regret that I met a few of the good guys on the journey to my husband (the best one!).

Don't think for a second that anyone who will only go out with you if you're a certain weight/hair colour/build etc is going to be worth your time. They're not! There are much more important traits than looks...

You know, I had my first boyfriend when I was at my heaviest (after years of not even daring looking for one and gaining weight like crazy). Finally, one day I decided that I'd had enough, put my profile on a dating website and went out on a date with the first non-creep that contacted me (you do have to do some sorting!). We're still together. I definitely think that the biggest obstacle is ourselves.

I'd suggest that you make a list of 20 things starting with "I am..." and see how complex you are. We are so much more than our bodies, don't you think?

Even when I am super-confident, it's like every guy I start talking to ends up being a douche! Maybe it's just bad luck... or who knows, maybe I don't see myself the way that other people do

Part of that may also be where you go to meet guys. There for a while I was going to bars to try and meet people, and was a little surprised for some reason when I couldn't find a single girl that I connected with! Luckily I recently got back together with my ex girlfriend (ex ex girlfriend?) and she loved me when I was heavier, and she'll love me when I'm ripped.

I agree with what everyone else has said. Confidence in character is super sexy on a girl, and the best way to build it up is to get to know yourself! It ain't a fun journey, and you may have to have your heart broken, but you'll come out on top, and you'll find the self-worth (and eventually the guy) you're looking for! And nobody will ever be able to take that away!

I have found my relationships have hindered my weight. :laugh:

It seems like most dating revolves around dining out. It makes it really hard to stick to a diet when you are eating at restaurants a lot.

From my experience, a guy would rather have a fun, friendly, confident slightly chubby girl by his side than an uptight, starving, skinny girl... confidence is everything. If you don't love yourself, then you can't truly love others. He's out there - don't worry! Also, as a late bloomer, they come when you're not looking or expecting it!

it has since I divorced somewhat, part is not having confidence(Who wants a 39 yr old overweight woman?) some is trust.

Sweetheart....I have been there!

When I was younger I had the same problem. Let me tell you that someday you will find someone. But it really is a matter of confidence and overcoming your own demons. I was the friend that sat on the sidelines and all of them would tell me I was beautiful and I would ask why can't a find a guy who wants me. When I entered college I got my first boyfriend he was a star baseball player and I felt like its about time finally. Let me tell you he was the guy you are talking about. I didn't know at the time that he had a girlfriend at home (that was pregnant) but he told me he was single. His neighbor was the one that told me about the girlfriend back home (at the end of the semester):grumble: . Let's just say I wasn't going to be the girl that destroys relationships. I confronted him and we broke up and that did not stop him from calling me. I had to gain confidence in myself before I could have a successful relationship.

I moved south and met my husband and let me tell you he is the best husband in the world we will be married for 13 years in two weeks and we have a beautiful daughter:smooched:love: . Be patient and watch out for those demons because they will destroy you!


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After going through two relationships that deliberately fueled an eating disorder... the second one ending in a broken engagement (only to find out he broke it off because he knocked someone else up... and married her) I absolutely refuse to lose weight for anyone besides myself, and become healthy for MYSELF. I was single for a year and a half after that broken engagement, blaming everything on my weight ( I lost a considerable amount when I was with him and as soon as we broke up I spiraled into a depression and gained about 15 back) then I became even more preoccupied with the fact that NO ONE was interested in me anymore and gained another 25 pounds in a month and a half. So being at my heaviest ever (without a pregnancy haha) I reconnected with an old flame, and we will have been together for 6 months in a couple weeks. He never said anything negative about my body or my weight.
Last week (after not seeing me for a week) was the first time he had said anything at all and it was as simple as "Babe, you look great! have you lost weight or something??" uhhh yea, like 25 pounds since we started dating haha.. but I appreciated it.

I've been played, cheated on, used.. blah blah blah... but those were the guys that kept a huge emphasis on physical appearance. That's not what anyone should want. You should want someone that sees through everything on the surface and adores you for who you are on the inside. Now that doesn't mean he shouldn't tell you you are beautiful every day no matter what you are wearing or what the scale says, but that's the truth.

Moral of the story, when you become preoccupied with why you AREN'T in a relationship and that it MUST be because you are overweight or some other quality... you begin to put your self-worth into if you are in a relationship or not which just spells disaster.
As my grandma told me when I was becoming anxiety ridden over all of this stuff... "Be patient honey, 'Thor' will come in due time!" And man oh man was she right!!!

You're gorgeous, and as soon as one guy gets enough cojones to come up and ask you out it will happen.

i have lost 130+ lbs and have only ever been asked for my number once and have never had a boyfriend (im 23) sometimes it bothers me when i see friends and relatives in relationships, sometimes im glad as i think i cant be bothered with the hassle but as ppl have said also with me its about confidence, when u are confident in urself ur time will come.