How do you avoid eating because of friends?

juliamariep
juliamariep Posts: 9
edited September 28 in Food and Nutrition
For some of my friends, eating is our main activity. For example, my friend is coming over tonight, expecting to make completely fattening oreo sundaes. I can't just not have them, since I told her I would a week ago (before I had started MFP). How do you avoid situations like this when dieting? How do you keep those around you from affecting what you eat?

Replies

  • eates
    eates Posts: 334 Member
    Make yourself a small one & enjoy! For me, this whole process is about learning to make better choices in situations- not avoiding the situations. Once a month a friend, myself & our kiddos get together for a pizza\movie pj party. We eat pizza and make a fun dessert (cupcakes, cookies the kids decorate, make your own sundae, etc). Before I started MFP I was eating 3 pieces of pizza plus a HUGE helping of dessert. Now instead I eat 1 piece of pizza and a reasonable sized dessert.
  • dcornwe
    dcornwe Posts: 73
    make the oreo thing for them and make something healthy for you. you can always eat smaller portions. just because they are eating doesnt mean you have to.
  • BigBoneSista
    BigBoneSista Posts: 2,389 Member
    While they are having their treat make yourself a healthier alternative. Lead by example and they might take heed. Make yourself a fruit smoothie with some whey protein and add 1 serving of angel food cake....its YUMMY!
  • almorrow1s
    almorrow1s Posts: 33 Member
    Is there a way you could make the sundaes a bit healthier? Perhaps with lower fat ice cream? And then just have a small portion and don't worry about it. You could also suggest to your friend that you go for a walk around the park or the mall instead of staying in and eating, she might go for it!
  • Uk_Yogini
    Uk_Yogini Posts: 167
    Either make yourself a smaller version of what ur friends are having or try making yourself a low fat yummy dessert so that you do not feel left out or deprived. Hope that helps :)
  • alienblonde1
    alienblonde1 Posts: 749 Member
    Make a small one if you want. Eventually you won't want this stuff.
  • VSgirl2010
    VSgirl2010 Posts: 145 Member
    Try filling up on fruit or some fiber before she gets there......that way when you have the sundae you'll eat less of it. You can also buy sugar free ice cream or non fat frozen yogurt for yourself to save some calories =) You might want to check out the grocery store and see if there is a lower fat or lower sugar version of the oreos too.......????

    Good luck!
  • Drunkadelic
    Drunkadelic Posts: 948 Member
    make the oreo thing for them and make something healthy for you. you can always eat smaller portions. just because they are eating doesnt mean you have to.

    I've found this to be really hard (especially with my friends). I tell them to eat what they want and that I just don't want any but they end up feeling guilty and do everything in their power to convince me to eat/drink what they are so they feel better about it. It sucks. That's my #1 struggle. Left to my own devices, I do pretty good.

    But I agree with most. Make yourself a smaller sundae and enjoy!! If you don't allow yourself to indulge a bit, you will never stick to your new lifestyle! Just make sure to drink lots of water and save calories throughout the day so you have some leftover :)
  • katieandlilly
    katieandlilly Posts: 31 Member
    Honestly?

    At some point in this process, I realized the agonizing and guilt I have after eating something fattening and bad for me actually makes the experience less enjoyable; so I just don't do it.

    Instead of oreos, try light & fit vanilla yogurt, strawberries, and graham crackers. Or tell you friend that you're watching what you eat and want to try to find something yummy but low calorie. See if she's willing to try with you.
  • kim_mc
    kim_mc Posts: 321 Member
    Make a small one if you want. Eventually you won't want this stuff.

    I'm still waiting for that day!! LOL!!!:bigsmile:
  • kr3851
    kr3851 Posts: 994 Member
    Have a small one. Don't miss out because you'll resent it, or them for it. And next time, plan your time around going for a walk, or going bowling, or some other physical activity - so that you can still have these foods occasionally, but your friendships don't revolve around food.
  • I have the same problem with going out to the bars with my friends - they're always taking shots and drinking and man, do those calories ADD UP! I discovered my favorite liquor has 69 CALORIES PER OUNCE!!! Gonna have to give that one up. I'm trying to change up my habits with my friends too. For instance, last night I brought Sprite Zero to the bartender and asked her to use it in my drinks instead of regular Sprite. And whenever anyone handed me a shot, I only took half and gave the other to someone else. Not only did I cut the calories in half, but I feel much better today too! lol!

    As for the food you can do the same thing, portion control. The Sundae sounds delicious so if you're set on having one just try to alter it, buy the low fat Oreo's and buy a light ice cream
  • SHBoss1673
    SHBoss1673 Posts: 7,161 Member
    things change, if they are true friends, they will understand that you have decided to be healthy, don't dwell on it with them, as that may make them uncomfortable, but be firm in your resolve, tell them straight out that you've decided that this is a bad idea for you. And do some thinking about what YOU can eat while they eat their stuff so you aren't feeling deprived.

    You may even want to think about finding something else to do with them that doesn't involve food. Changing your life isn't always easy, and these types of psychological triggers are often the hardest part of becoming healthy, but once you get over these hurdles, the simple acts like choosing healthy food every day seem much easier. Don't give in, willpower is within your reach, you just have to choose to love yourself enough to develop it.
  • AbbyCar
    AbbyCar Posts: 198 Member
    I would plan to eat a small one. You can maybe use lower fat ice cream or frozen yogurt and a small amount of oreos. You could also add some fruit(like strawberries or bananas) to make the sundae and little bigger and fill you up more. There's nothing wrong with icecream(or any other treat) now and again as long as you plan and account for it.
  • Drunkadelic
    Drunkadelic Posts: 948 Member
    Make a small one if you want. Eventually you won't want this stuff.

    Still waiting for the day I don't want food that is bad for me....

    Don't think that will ever happen.
  • grouch201
    grouch201 Posts: 404 Member
    Make a small one if you want. Eventually you won't want this stuff.
    I must beg to differ on this point, the part about not wanting good stuff. I've been on this ride for just over a year and I never began it with the expectation that I would cut the foods I love out of my life, but just to be more controlled about what I allow myself. I say allow yourself treats, but just keep them reasonable. Have a smaller portion size than you might normally and then go for a longer run, or whatever you do to be active, earlier during the day or the next. It's all about balance, not abstinence.
  • Sparksfly
    Sparksfly Posts: 470 Member
    whey protein "milkshake" with a double stuffed oreo...

    1 scoop Cookies and cream flavored whey protein (120 cals)
    10 ice cubes
    1 cup of vanilla almond milk (unsweetened) (40 Cals)
    1/4 cup of low calorie vanilla bean ice cream (Edy's slow churned works well) (50 cals)


    1 small squirt of hersheys choc syrup (top garnish) (40 cals?)
    1 broken up oreo (top garnish) (60-100 cals)


    A HUGE milkshake for you that really only tastes decadent! This honestly makes two servings so you could even split it with a friend! SO FREAKING GOOD AND LOTS OF PROTEIN!

    300-440 calories depending on how you make it!
  • Shanzstar
    Shanzstar Posts: 197
    or... you could suggest have a small oreo sundae and then go for a nice walk.Or you could make a lower calorie healthier option like low fat vanilla yorgurt with a berry sauce or a smoothie. Also, once you start planning your life around other things rather than food, it gets easier. So next time you two could have a nice walk instead of a desert. For me, i started losing weight when I stopped making food the focal point. good luck!
  • I'm voting for the smaller portion too. Or maybe try a light version - light ice cream or yogurt. Look up a fun light recipe and try it with your friend? Part of friendship is supporting one another. If she sees you are committed and serious, I hope she will understand. Avoiding friends and situations when you are going to be faced with choices isn't going to help you ease into your new lifestyle. Also, is sucks to miss out on the companionship of good friends! Stay strong, make a smaller portion, and eat slow. Or make a regular portion, eat slow, and only eat half.

    I went to see my girls from college ... out to eat with super fried and sweet yumminess. I made the decision to hold my ground, ordering a grilled dinner with a salad, and they are UBER supportive! Yes, I ordered that piece of pie ... in a to go box ... ate 1/3 really slow ... and enjoyed each bite.
  • Limeinthecoconut
    Limeinthecoconut Posts: 234 Member
    I find it a lot easier to save up my calories if I'm going to have a big dinner/night/whatever. Just have a small lunch?

    Lower fat ice-cream is the way to go though. Frozen yoghurt is even better. And try adding in fruit instead of Oreos? Or perhaps just plain choc ripple biscuits or something. That way you're not eating the creamy filling of the oreos. Or chopped nuts. Mmm...

    It's hard around friends and family who don't really get it. My mum is trying to lose weight and she has no concept of how many calories are in something as simple as butter. And when I measure out a teaspoon or ask for less noodles in my soup she gives me crap about it.

    So, I have all my calories for those days when I'm around her "saved" so it doesn't look like I'm dieting. I still get my full amount of food, and she doesn't get grumpy. Its also something I employ around friends who get "offended" by healthy eating.
  • Barneystinson
    Barneystinson Posts: 1,357 Member
    I make alternate "treats" - fruit with light cream, homemade fruit sorbet, dark chocolate squares... etc.

    Know what's funny?

    My friends enjoy them even more than the store bought junk. :smile:
  • rtmama
    rtmama Posts: 403 Member
    I also vote for the smaller portion.

    Such great advice from everyone!!!! This is an awesome thread for newbies to read!
  • fitnesspirateninja
    fitnesspirateninja Posts: 667 Member
    Make a small one if you want. Eventually you won't want this stuff.
    I must beg to differ on this point, the part about not wanting good stuff. I've been on this ride for just over a year and I never began it with the expectation that I would cut the foods I love out of my life, but just to be more controlled about what I allow myself. I say allow yourself treats, but just keep them reasonable. Have a smaller portion size than you might normally and then go for a longer run, or whatever you do to be active, earlier during the day or the next. It's all about balance, not abstinence.

    I know there are people out there who get to a place where junk food tastes gross to them. Everybody's different. I agree with you on balance. Every other time I've tried to get healthy I decided that I could never eat a tuna fish sandwich again because it has mayo in it. This time, I decided that I didn't want to deny myself anything because it sets me up for failure. I make healthier choices, use portion control, and allow myself a treat occasionally. That's what works for me.

    Sometimes when I'm at an event and there's cake I don't have any because I don't feel like it. Sometimes I have the cake but skip the icing. Sometimes I have a big slice of cake, icing and all.
  • MyaPapaya75
    MyaPapaya75 Posts: 3,143 Member
    I would totally have the oreo sundae 1 scoop of icecream and 2 oreos BUT i would probably eat grilled chicken and spinach salads for the day to keep my calories low
  • fitnessjch
    fitnessjch Posts: 449 Member
    I would say just dont do it altogether, but I know myself that I'd want to for my friend, and that I wouldnt want to make an excuse.

    How about looking up low fat options of the same recipe online? May cut out SOME of the calories?
  • mamarundrc
    mamarundrc Posts: 1,577 Member
    Find a low fat/ low sugar ice cream or a fat free frozen yogurt and make sure to measure out a serving. Maybe get some different toppings to try out instead of the oreos (i love putting fresh strawberries or pineapple on my ice cream). If you want to be successful you need to learn how to budget your indulgences into your plan instead of trying to avoid them. If you try to completely avoid it you will get to a point that you say screw it and will over indulge. If food is a big part of what you do with your friends, find ways to enjoy it with healthier alternatives. Good luck!
  • runlorirun
    runlorirun Posts: 389
    Edy's Slow Churn Light Cookies and Cream has oreo cookies in it and it's only 130 calories per 1/2 cup. Just have the ice cream with out all the other typical Sundae stuff. Just because she's wants to eat all other stuff doesn't mean you have to eat it.

    I am trying to be super good for the next week. Next week we are heading to St. Louis for a Cardinals game and I will have some control over what choices I have to eat, but not a lot. I was able to go on line and find out what they will have in the buffet for the box we will be in, at least I am prepared and can kind of plan ahead of time.

    Challenges are all around us everyday, but one wrong choice will not total destroy all the good you are doing now. Sometimes I think we need to give ourselves permission to be 'bad'...lol
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