Start gung-ho, then lose motivation...ad infinitum!

Kateboyd37 · October 2015

I've started a weight-loss plan at least 20x...then a few weeks later I lose motivation. The longest I stuck with a program was in 2008--6 months--I lost 38 lbs. I gained 30 of that back; I was diagnosed with MS in 2011 and became very depressed/in a funk.

I do not generally have a "bad" diet, I don't drink alcohol or caffeine, I don't eat junk food or fast food. I love to cook and I understand nutrition.

My downfalls are portion size, general planning-ahead for meals, restaurant dining,and being ravenously hungry if I diet. I get hungry-and then I am mentally consumed with getting something to eat. In the meantime I am cranky, exhausted, and have migraines.

My solutions to this are 5-6 small meals a day, and make sure to eat high-quality protein. I tend to fall off the wagon when I run out of food in the house, or I have a bad MS day with crushing fatigue and it's all I can do to get through the workday.

Argh! I then get down on myself - I am an adult - why can't I just DO what I need to DO?

I want my husband to be more supportive of my efforts-he says he likes me the way I am (true) but I am 50 lbs. overweight at 5' 6" and 194 lbs. I feel gross and I hate having my picture taken as I don't recognize myself.

I have started tracking food & making a concerted effort to get 30 minutes a day of purposeful walking + yoga 2x/week. I need to make sure I have healthy food around at all times, and to get my spouse on-board. I build muscle easily, so that is a plus - but need to take things sloooow. I know this will work long-term for me, I just need to DO it long enough to become a habit.

Help me please? How do you do it?

AlphaHowls · October 2015

*holds out my hand to you and smiles*
Input your starting data, if you have not already done so and see what calories it gives you. Do not set an aggressive goal, you really do not have that far to go. Set it with 0.5 lbs to lose. This will give you plenty of calories to work with.
Just for today, start logging you food intake. Remember that food is fuel, there are no good or bad foods. In time you will get the macros under control, but for now, work on the calories. There really is no reason to charge full bore into it, this needs to be a life decision for you and you need to think carefully. Watch how each piece effects you.

Patttience · October 2015

The simplest answer i have for you is this. Do not cut your calories severely. Diet and avoid hunger. Eat three larger meals of nutritious food. Keep the meals closer together about 3-4 hours apart. If you have to go longer say 5 hours, have a snack when you start to get hungry. In my life, my afternoon snack is usually a glass of wine and this serves well.

Try not to eat after your early dinner. But if you do, make it something low calorie like fruit. Or a cup of tea with milk. You want to lose weight overnight and its good to go to bed with just the slightest beginnings of hunger.

I have reached my goal and been in maintenance for quite a while now. I enjoy dieting and now maintaining. It needn't be painful.

Just as you avoid hunger, avoid overeating too.

Also of course tiredness, depression, stress and the like make you want to eat. Try to make healthy low calorie choices whenyou are in this state but accept maybe a little weight rise and when you are feeling better resume calorie cutting. Avoid self punishment. Get your head right.

Need2Exerc1se · October 2015

I would suggest not going in "gung ho". Just make a few small changes in the right direction. Don't try to sprint to the finish. Look at the big picture and work toward your goal at a comfortable pace. Make changes you can live with long term.

Be the tortoise, not the hare.

joshuajdouce · October 2015

Same advice as all the above really, just take small steps to make it sustainable long term. Just aim to get calories under control like 0.5 - 1 pound a week you will fins once this becomes habit you will find it easier to maintain. Another tip you might find helpful put your meals in for the next day that way you can look at fitness pal and go right i'm having that today. Works wonders for me.

lorrpb · October 2015

You have identified some key success tips: portion control & keeping appropriate food in the house. If you do a web search you will find lots of good tips for estimating portion size. Also read the sticky posts at the top of each MFP forum about how to weigh and measure your food for accurate logging. Start by logging what you're currently eating, then reduce by 200 cals per day each week until you get to a level that creates a deficit and doesn't leave you ravenous. Frequency of eating is a very individual thing and you might need to experiment with different patterns to see what works best for you. I also find that more protein & less carbs helps even out hunger.

HippySkoppy · October 2015

^^^Great suggestions by other posters.....

I would add in too that along with making sure that you are well nourished and don't get too hungry in between, do yourself a favour and cut yourself a little bit of slack. Losing weight takes time and it is made a lot harder when you are dealing with chronic illness.

The words "gung-ho" ring alarm bells for me, and you have expressed your feelings well over the annoyance you feel when you "just can't do....". Try to remember that it may just take you a bit longer than others around losing the same amount.....that is a good thing. Studies have shown that those that take their time and lose slowly all the while developing new eating habits that are sustainable have the greatest success at keeping the weight off long term.

It's both sweet and annoying for you that your Husband loves you as you are....but you are doing this for yourself. This is your life and if you feel happier and healthier at a lighter weight then perhaps explaining that to him will help him understand your reasons and get on board a little more....support is nice but not necessary.

You are obviously a strong and capable woman and I have the greatest respect for anyone living with lifelong medical conditions that require us to adjust and live within their constraints...it is never easy, so cheers to you for taking on this challenge and being so sensible about it.

All the best.

Firefly0606 · October 2015

Great advice from all above...

I have personally fallen for the diet industry fads a million times, cut my calories too severely, and if I am "successful" and lose the weight - it all comes back on and with more. Most of these programs give me daily calorie allowances of anywhere between 1200 and 1800 calories.

My current TDEE is around 2700 calories. (32yo, 172cm, 108kg). So I need 2700 to maintain that weight. it has taken me a long long time, but I have finally figured out that when losing weight is as simple as "eating less", that does not mean eating 1800 calories - 900 calories less than what I need each day is waaay too severe a calorie cut. Sure, the weight comes off quickly, but my metabolism gets all cranky, weight loss stalls, and there is no way I can sustain that forever.

I am eating at maintenance at the moment as I am taking a break from losing, but when I cut again I will eat around 2200 - so the deficit is a LITTLE bit less (20% cut) and the weight will come off slowly, without sacrificing the fuel my body needs to function properly. Perhaps you could take some time figuring out what your TDEE is, and once you know what you need to maintain your current weight, you can figure out what you need to lose a little bit at a time.

Kateboyd37 · November 2015

Thank you so much everyone for the thoughtful (and very helpful) advice! Upon examination, I realize I have been trying to change too many behaviors all at once.

- Ok, I am going to start by 1st figuring out and practicing real/reasonable portion sizes...will take awhile to retrain my eyes!
-
- Also on Sunday (before work week) put together snacks for Mon-Fri to keep from getting hungry. Perhaps I'll ask my spouse to help out, as he'll probably want snacks for work too.

Then when these are habits I can focus on other areas in need of improvement. I'll just have to start telling the voice in my head--the one that is always criticising about results--to shut up already!

On another note, I have joined a get-healthy group at work. We're starting to walk 3x/week on breaks + do some fun fitness challenges (sit-ups in a minute, plank-challenge, etc.) So I feel a bit more confident I have decent support for getting consistent exercise into the day.

Thanks again!

dubird · November 2015

One thing you can try is to just log EVERYTHING as accurately as possible for a week or two. It will probably be a shocker when you see how much it is, but doing this will give you a baseline and let you see patterns to your eating. Then, change one thing at a time and give yourself a little while to get used to it. Maybe swap out soda for something, or work on learning to see what a single portion of a couple of your favorite foods is. Trying to do it all at once is really hard and almost everyone will give up after a while. Starting slow and building a foundation will allow you to develop skills and better eating habits that will help you keep the weight off once you hit your goal range.

Remember, the goal isn't necessarily to lose weight. That's a bit part of it, but in order to keep it off, you have to change your eating habits and relearn what proper portions of foods are. This is changing established habits, so it will be slow and it's not easy. But worth it when you get the hang of it!

cwolfman13 · November 2015

life changes take time...life changes are all about baby steps and working on a little of this here and a little of that there. i don't know a single person who has made substantial life changes overnight. the betterment of one's self in any facet of life is an endeavor that goes into perpetuity...you don't have to deal with every single thing overnight...it's a progressive process and you have to lose the all or nothing "gung ho" mentality.

alltheweigh170 · November 2015

Thank you all for the great advice! I needed it as well. In the same boat. :-)

Start gung-ho, then lose motivation...ad infinitum!

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