Feel like I'm just stuck. I run up to 3 times a week why do I feel awful
hybridangel
Posts: 25 Member
I'm mum to 1 22 month old. She is the best thing in my life. But as other people have observed is incredibly lively leaving me feeling drained. My partner work 9-7pm and when he gets homesometimes seems unintrested in me. Just our daughter. There are other issues surroundinghis culture which are a stuggle and as a consequence will prevent us getting married. I don't get how even though I work out I feel so low. Only thing preventingme drom hurting myself is my daughter and thinking that my partner will have won.
I work 19 hours a week, hardly see my friends. They won't. Associate with me. I feel isolated.
I work 19 hours a week, hardly see my friends. They won't. Associate with me. I feel isolated.
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Replies
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I sorry you're having such a tough time. You sound like you're depressed, maybe go and have a chat with your GP? Is there anyone else you can talk to?0
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My thoughts are with you. I'm sorry you are feeling this way. Do you think you could possibly be dealing with post pardum depression? It happens and is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Also after working a ten hour day maybe your partner is simply tired. Maybe you should tell him how you feel and how much it is bothering you.0
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If you have any thoughts of hurting yourself you must reach out to a doctor or local support group immediately. There may be a medical reason that could be easily overcome with proper healthcare. This is not uncommon, please seek the help you need. You have a family that loves and needs you.
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I'm very sorry for the sadness and emotional pain you're going through, but you need to be strong for family, your child, and yourself. You're a beautiful woman with a little girl that needs you. Do seek professional help, also communicate these feelings of neglect with your partner. Nothing to be ashamed of, we, as humans, have bad times, feelings of hurt, sadness... I had a ex attempted to take my life when I tried leaving him. I have few scars he lefted on my forehead as a reminder and permanent emotional damage. Long story short- Life is sooo precious, overcome the bad. Wish you the best.0
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Have you considered seeking out a therapist? It's a great way to talk to someone who knows how to help, they specialize in listening and caring, and they have to keep everything you say confidential. I've personally seen therapists in my life and have found it really helpful. It's been an amazing way to take charge of my own emotions and learn how to cope with crappy life situations. Just don't ignore these feelings or try to handle them all on your own...there's no reason to keep hurting when there are people who know how to help.0
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This sounds like it could be PPD. It can get worse very fast and it is not something to play around with.
You need to speak to a medical professional, ASAP. There are lots of options--your GP, your GYN, even your baby's pediatrician.
If you don't feel like you are up for asking for help, have your spouse or a trusted friend do this for you. It is important.0 -
I think you should seek out some help too, its sounds like you're having a really rough time; a bit of proffesional help and guidance may help even if its not post-natal depression.
You sound like you could do with more of a support network too... perhaps reaching out to friends or family(including your partner) to spend time talking to them may help?
Or a mothers group where you can meet people with kids the same age (new friends!) ... they might understand your struggles better and you might meet someone who can do playdates or look after your kid for a couple of hours so you can have time alone with your partner (and you can do the same for them).
Depending on his employer, maybe your partner could finish early one day a week to spend time with you and the baby? (If that would help you)
Running sounds like a great strategy to help you cope and stay healthy.
Wishing you the best of luck and please look after yourself!0 -
hybridangel wrote: »I'm mum to 1 22 month old. She is the best thing in my life. But as other people have observed is incredibly lively leaving me feeling drained. My partner work 9-7pm and when he gets homesometimes seems unintrested in me. Just our daughter. There are other issues surroundinghis culture which are a stuggle and as a consequence will prevent us getting married. I don't get how even though I work out I feel so low. Only thing preventingme drom hurting myself is my daughter and thinking that my partner will have won.
I work 19 hours a week, hardly see my friends. They won't. Associate with me. I feel isolated.
You sound very depressed, and some of your comments are troubling. Please seek professional help.0 -
"Please seek professional help" in my opinion are one of the worst, most un-sympathetic, passive, condescending ways to just say, "who cares".
A mother's group might be nice
You could try another sport you feel more enthusiastic about
Dynamics can change when you become a mother and your other friends do not have kids.
You say circumstances of culture prevent you from getting married, but why do you want to get married to someone who seems uninterested in you? He is the father of your daughter, so he will forever be in your life, but I am not sure why you would want to get married if things are a bit rocky right now?
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"Please seek professional help" in my opinion are one of the worst, most un-sympathetic, passive, condescending ways to just say, "who cares".
A mother's group might be nice
You could try another sport you feel more enthusiastic about
Dynamics can change when you become a mother and your other friends do not have kids.
You say circumstances of culture prevent you from getting married, but why do you want to get married to someone who seems uninterested in you? He is the father of your daughter, so he will forever be in your life, but I am not sure why you would want to get married if things are a bit rocky right now?
Really? And as someone who has suffered from both PPD and depression, let me tell you that telling us to "join a moms group or take up a sport" is extremely offensive. You might as well say, "snap out of it." It's just not that simple. I hope the OP does seek out help, it's very difficult to get through it without it.0 -
"Please seek professional help" in my opinion are one of the worst, most un-sympathetic, passive, condescending ways to just say, "who cares".
A mother's group might be nice
You could try another sport you feel more enthusiastic about
Dynamics can change when you become a mother and your other friends do not have kids.
You say circumstances of culture prevent you from getting married, but why do you want to get married to someone who seems uninterested in you? He is the father of your daughter, so he will forever be in your life, but I am not sure why you would want to get married if things are a bit rocky right now?
Wow, your response has floored me. Advising a troubled person to seek professional help is the kindest thing you can do. It says you matter but we don't have the expertise to advise.
I disagree that a class or sport are the correct answers in this situation.0 -
"Please seek professional help" in my opinion are one of the worst, most un-sympathetic, passive, condescending ways to just say, "who cares".
A mother's group might be nice
You could try another sport you feel more enthusiastic about
Dynamics can change when you become a mother and your other friends do not have kids.
You say circumstances of culture prevent you from getting married, but why do you want to get married to someone who seems uninterested in you? He is the father of your daughter, so he will forever be in your life, but I am not sure why you would want to get married if things are a bit rocky right now?
Really? And as someone who has suffered from both PPD and depression, let me tell you that telling us to "join a moms group or take up a sport" is extremely offensive. You might as well say, "snap out of it." It's just not that simple. I hope the OP does seek out help, it's very difficult to get through it without it.
This. Times a million to the power of ten.0 -
"Please seek professional help" in my opinion are one of the worst, most un-sympathetic, passive, condescending ways to just say, "who cares".
A mother's group might be nice
You could try another sport you feel more enthusiastic about
Dynamics can change when you become a mother and your other friends do not have kids.
You say circumstances of culture prevent you from getting married, but why do you want to get married to someone who seems uninterested in you? He is the father of your daughter, so he will forever be in your life, but I am not sure why you would want to get married if things are a bit rocky right now?
Wow, your response has floored me. Advising a troubled person to seek professional help is the kindest thing you can do. It says you matter but we don't have the expertise to advise.
I disagree that a class or sport are the correct answers in this situation.
"you matter but we don't have the expertise to advise", in fact you matter so much we don't dare risk trying to tell you what we think because we don't want to accidentally cause you harm with advice not based in expertise.
I am worried by how you (@malioumba) view advice to seek professional help.0 -
hybridangel wrote: »I'm mum to 1 22 month old. She is the best thing in my life. But as other people have observed is incredibly lively leaving me feeling drained. My partner work 9-7pm and when he gets homesometimes seems unintrested in me. Just our daughter. There are other issues surroundinghis culture which are a stuggle and as a consequence will prevent us getting married. I don't get how even though I work out I feel so low. Only thing preventingme drom hurting myself is my daughter and thinking that my partner will have won.
I work 19 hours a week, hardly see my friends. They won't. Associate with me. I feel isolated.
First, talk to a dr. Or find a helpline to call, if seeing a dr right now is not an option, or sounds intimidating. It is still possible you suffer from PPD even though you do not have a very young baby.
Regardless of what is causing it, giving birth or something else, you are describing depression symptoms. I know how bad it feels, and there is no need to try to fight through it alone. Even if you feel it is pointless or no need, please seek medical help. It can make life much easier for you, and help you get control back.
What you feel might be because you need to regulate post-birth hormones, a thyroid problem, a deficiency. And sometimes, we simply need to talk to someone who knows how to help us adjust to big changes and how to deal with problems that seem to hard to deal with.
Good luck.
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"Please seek professional help" in my opinion are one of the worst, most un-sympathetic, passive, condescending ways to just say, "who cares".
A mother's group might be nice
You could try another sport you feel more enthusiastic about
Dynamics can change when you become a mother and your other friends do not have kids.
You say circumstances of culture prevent you from getting married, but why do you want to get married to someone who seems uninterested in you? He is the father of your daughter, so he will forever be in your life, but I am not sure why you would want to get married if things are a bit rocky right now?
You sound ignorant.
My mother has pretty much ruined her life because she tried to battle through depression without seeking a psychiatrist. What could have been solved early on, ended into depression and habits that cannot be addressed after literally a lifetime of not getting help.
With my first baby, I had PPD. It was diagnosed only as it was getting better by itself, and I still feel awful that no one figure out what was going in the first months, it would have made everyone's life easier.
Recently, I realised I was losing pretty much the desire to do anything other that sleep, and I also was becoming increasingly irritable. It was affecting my life, my job, and my kids. A therapist suggested I talk to my physician - guess what? Vitamin B12 deficiency. Try battling that with more hobbies!0 -
Post natal depression can strike at any time ...even now when you think you're past that stage
It is an illness, nothing you can do can help it you really really need to speak to a doctor honestly and get medical help
Toddlers, particularly lively ones, are exhausting and draining and adorable but mainly exhausting ..you can easily put yourself on a back burner in your deep need to care for your child ...learn to give yourself a break
You sound like you're stuck ...but it's situational...it gets easier ...
See a doctor, join some toddler active groups to meet other parents and get new friends whilst your child burns off some energy, invite them for coffee...
Kids throw your life up in the air ...sometimes the changes are difficult to deal with ...but that's temporary
Please reach out to the professionals0 -
Another vote for seeing your doctor, OP. He or she is the best equipped to advise you in this regard. In the meantime, please don't feel that you are all alone. There are many caring people here.
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CoffeeNCardio wrote: »
"you matter but we don't have the expertise to advise", in fact you matter so much we don't dare risk trying to tell you what we think because we don't want to accidentally cause you harm with advice not based in expertise.
I am worried by how you (@malioumba) view advice to seek professional help.
Exactly. I'm awaiting my license to be a therapist and giving her advice over the internet could absolutely be harmful to her. OP, I hope that you don't believe that those of us saying "seek professional help" is us trying to blow you off. It truly is saying that we see you are hurting and we want you to feel better and we won't dare risk making things worse by giving cliche advice from behind a screen. You matter. You CAN be happy again. You are wanted and you are needed. Please please please, don't ignore this or shy away from help. You've got this.0 -
Op ,I'm so sorry your feeling this way. Please seek professional help right away. Your daughter needs you, so hurting yourself isn't a good idea. I hope you can get some help quickly. Best of luck to you.
If your in the united states and are having trouble finding professional help, you can message me and I'll search for free or low cost help in your area for you.0 -
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"Please seek professional help" in my opinion are one of the worst, most un-sympathetic, passive, condescending ways to just say, "who cares".
A mother's group might be nice
You could try another sport you feel more enthusiastic about
Dynamics can change when you become a mother and your other friends do not have kids.
You say circumstances of culture prevent you from getting married, but why do you want to get married to someone who seems uninterested in you? He is the father of your daughter, so he will forever be in your life, but I am not sure why you would want to get married if things are a bit rocky right now?
WHAT!!!!? The OP just made a statement ofhybridangel wrote: »Only thing preventingme drom hurting myself is my daughter and thinking that my partner will have won.
And you think that by someone telling her she needs help that they don't care? WOW!
OP, I'm so sorry you are going through this. Focus your time and energy on your daughter. Please talk to your doctor about postpartum depression.0 -
"Please seek professional help" in my opinion are one of the worst, most un-sympathetic, passive, condescending ways to just say, "who cares".
A mother's group might be nice
You could try another sport you feel more enthusiastic about
Dynamics can change when you become a mother and your other friends do not have kids.
You say circumstances of culture prevent you from getting married, but why do you want to get married to someone who seems uninterested in you? He is the father of your daughter, so he will forever be in your life, but I am not sure why you would want to get married if things are a bit rocky right now?
Really? And as someone who has suffered from both PPD and depression, let me tell you that telling us to "join a moms group or take up a sport" is extremely offensive. You might as well say, "snap out of it." It's just not that simple. I hope the OP does seek out help, it's very difficult to get through it without it.
Remember when Brooke Shields discussed her crippling PPD in her book and on TV, and Tom Cruise said she should do calisthenics?
Douchey, inane, ridiculous advice, then and now.
OP: I say this because I am not qualified to help you, but your comments worry me: Please seek professional help.0 -
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"Please seek professional help" in my opinion are one of the worst, most un-sympathetic, passive, condescending ways to just say, "who cares".
A mother's group might be nice
You could try another sport you feel more enthusiastic about
Dynamics can change when you become a mother and your other friends do not have kids.
You say circumstances of culture prevent you from getting married, but why do you want to get married to someone who seems uninterested in you? He is the father of your daughter, so he will forever be in your life, but I am not sure why you would want to get married if things are a bit rocky right now?
Really? And as someone who has suffered from both PPD and depression, let me tell you that telling us to "join a moms group or take up a sport" is extremely offensive. You might as well say, "snap out of it." It's just not that simple. I hope the OP does seek out help, it's very difficult to get through it without it.
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This discussion has been closed.
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