Is this my fault???

infitspo
infitspo Posts: 29 Member
in Chit-Chat
I didn't know where to post this so excuse me if this is in the wrong section

I'm not in recovery, and I'm not the stick thin not eating image that might have appeared in your head when I said ED
But is this my fault??

Reading some posts about people "concerned", people were saying stuff like "these people are sick and need help" or "ew they dont even look that good" or "thats stupid, they need help if they're eating less than 900 a day"
Other comments I don't remember
I'm not a sensitive person usually but I've been feeling like everyone looks at us as outsiders, aliens,
and I can't help but feel guilty
and I've TRIED eating more than 900-1000 a day
I've TRIED not purging (successfully lately!)
But it's not just the weight
it takes over my head
my mind
my every thought

Is this my fault?? I dont even remember when or how this started??

Replies

  • infitspo
    infitspo Posts: 29 Member
    You know I really hope this actually gets noticed and doesn't just get dismissed by everyone!?
  • robertw486
    robertw486 Posts: 2,399 Member
    infitspo wrote: »
    I didn't know where to post this so excuse me if this is in the wrong section

    I'm not in recovery, and I'm not the stick thin not eating image that might have appeared in your head when I said ED
    But is this my fault??

    Reading some posts about people "concerned", people were saying stuff like "these people are sick and need help" or "ew they dont even look that good" or "thats stupid, they need help if they're eating less than 900 a day"
    Other comments I don't remember
    I'm not a sensitive person usually but I've been feeling like everyone looks at us as outsiders, aliens,
    and I can't help but feel guilty
    and I've TRIED eating more than 900-1000 a day
    I've TRIED not purging (successfully lately!)
    But it's not just the weight
    it takes over my head
    my mind
    my every thought

    Is this my fault?? I dont even remember when or how this started??

    Is it your fault? I would say no. But if you can't eat more than 900-1000 calories a day, it is unhealthy and would be considered by many if not most to be an eating disorder. It would also be considered a VLCD (Very Low Calorie Diet) which can be harmful to your health and as such cannot be promoted here on MFP.

    I don't look at any people struggling with healthy weight loss as an outsider. I simply look at them as people who for whatever reason take a path that can be harmful to their health and allow an unhealthy relationship with food to continue. Long term this can be a very bad thing. The right thing to do is some research about proper diet and nutrition, then set a healthy and sustainable weight loss goal based on your statistics, then follow the plan to that goal. It can be a slow process for many, but it's the right way to do things.

    If a person struggles to be able to do that and eats at unhealthy low levels, I'd personally suggest they seek professional help that might be able to assist them in figuring things out.

    But at times, people will take concern and helpful input personally and take offense. Myself I've seen plenty of well informed members here try to give good advice, and have people angry at them for doing so. That doesn't mean they don't care, it means that they care enough to often give advise which isn't popular. And I think most realize that if a person does have an unhealthy relationship with food, it is not their "fault" and probably not a conscious decision they make. It's just how they are wired for whatever reasons and that is why professional help is often needed.
  • infitspo
    infitspo Posts: 29 Member
    robertw486 wrote: »
    infitspo wrote: »
    I didn't know where to post this so excuse me if this is in the wrong section

    I'm not in recovery, and I'm not the stick thin not eating image that might have appeared in your head when I said ED
    But is this my fault??

    Reading some posts about people "concerned", people were saying stuff like "these people are sick and need help" or "ew they dont even look that good" or "thats stupid, they need help if they're eating less than 900 a day"
    Other comments I don't remember
    I'm not a sensitive person usually but I've been feeling like everyone looks at us as outsiders, aliens,
    and I can't help but feel guilty
    and I've TRIED eating more than 900-1000 a day
    I've TRIED not purging (successfully lately!)
    But it's not just the weight
    it takes over my head
    my mind
    my every thought

    Is this my fault?? I dont even remember when or how this started??

    Is it your fault? I would say no. But if you can't eat more than 900-1000 calories a day, it is unhealthy and would be considered by many if not most to be an eating disorder. It would also be considered a VLCD (Very Low Calorie Diet) which can be harmful to your health and as such cannot be promoted here on MFP.

    I don't look at any people struggling with healthy weight loss as an outsider. I simply look at them as people who for whatever reason take a path that can be harmful to their health and allow an unhealthy relationship with food to continue. Long term this can be a very bad thing. The right thing to do is some research about proper diet and nutrition, then set a healthy and sustainable weight loss goal based on your statistics, then follow the plan to that goal. It can be a slow process for many, but it's the right way to do things.

    If a person struggles to be able to do that and eats at unhealthy low levels, I'd personally suggest they seek professional help that might be able to assist them in figuring things out.

    But at times, people will take concern and helpful input personally and take offense. Myself I've seen plenty of well informed members here try to give good advice, and have people angry at them for doing so. That doesn't mean they don't care, it means that they care enough to often give advise which isn't popular. And I think most realize that if a person does have an unhealthy relationship with food, it is not their "fault" and probably not a conscious decision they make. It's just how they are wired for whatever reasons and that is why professional help is often needed.

    Hey, thanks :) and I don't take offense but I guess some of the comments clashed with me not wanting admit something was wrong with me, not sure, and I'm afraid of telling anyone anything about this... I'm not "thin" enough, I feel like they won't take me seriously. And NO WAY I'll never be pro any eating disorder
  • valmeeoow
    valmeeoow Posts: 6 Member
    I have struggled with EDNOS since I was eleven. My weight has been a roller coaster (and still is). I can go a few months of normal weight, then over weight (which is rare), then under weight. I find it hard to eat more than 600-800 calories a day, and when I do I usually make myself sick. I'm currently trying to do "self recovery", so if you need someone to help you out and support you, I'm here. Message me, add me or whatever, I'll try my best to help you out. Thanks.
  • synchkat
    synchkat Posts: 37,368 Member
    It's not someone's fault when they get cancer or another illness. Therefore this isn't your fault.
    Hope you find someone to speak to and get some help dealing with these issues.
  • finny11122
    finny11122 Posts: 8,436 Member
    synchkat wrote: »
    It's not someone's fault when they get cancer or another illness. Therefore this isn't your fault.
    Hope you find someone to speak to and get some help dealing with these issues.

    Yes i agree with synchkat. There is always someone who can help with any problem you may have . At the end of the day you will have to seek these people for yourself. Good people and good friends will always support you on your lifes journey but you are the only one that can make the decision to better yourself and live the best life possible. Best of luck.
  • beagletracks
    beagletracks Posts: 6,034 Member
    edited November 2015
    Hi, @infitspo -

    I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles, and I have seen what you have described in some of the forums. A good place for you to look for support in MFP might be the "Goal: Gaining Weight" message board. I think you should be able to find people there who share your experiences and/or have been through similar experiences. I think there should also be a good number of folks there who would show empathy.

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/categories/goal-gaining-weight

    No need to excuse yourself for posting anywhere. I wish you the best in overcoming your difficulties.
  • Bonny132
    Bonny132 Posts: 3,617 Member
    It is not your fault, absolutely not. But if you cannot get yourself to eat more than 900 calories a day you will struggle to get enough nutrients long term to sustain your body. I am sure you know this already or you would not be posting on these boards. What you need is to speak with people that understand you and what you are going through. This can be professionals or someone who has gone through the same as you are.

    You are not a failure, nor at fault. I wish you good luck on your journey to a new and healthy you.
  • 47Jacqueline
    47Jacqueline Posts: 6,993 Member
    This isn't a good place to discuss this because most of us aren't qualified to help. And it's not really chit chat, or a game.

    Th only response to a post like this is a suggestion that you get professional help.
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    synchkat wrote: »
    It's not someone's fault when they get cancer or another illness. Therefore this isn't your fault.
    Hope you find someone to speak to and get some help dealing with these issues.

    Sometimes it is. Sometimes habits cause certain illnesses.

    To the OP - in all honestly, no one here can tell you if your behaviour was part of what caused the ED (dieting can be very chicken and egg, which came first?). However, EDs only occur if the terrain is fertile so even with the worst behaviour it is only one of the causes.

    Left the cause go, if you can. Work on getting better.
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
    You are worthy of proper nourishment and you are worthy of recovery

    get yourself some professional help
  • Determined_ella_89
    Determined_ella_89 Posts: 1,710 Member
    infitspo wrote: »
    I didn't know where to post this so excuse me if this is in the wrong section

    I'm not in recovery, and I'm not the stick thin not eating image that might have appeared in your head when I said ED
    But is this my fault??

    Reading some posts about people "concerned", people were saying stuff like "these people are sick and need help" or "ew they dont even look that good" or "thats stupid, they need help if they're eating less than 900 a day"
    Other comments I don't remember
    I'm not a sensitive person usually but I've been feeling like everyone looks at us as outsiders, aliens,
    and I can't help but feel guilty
    and I've TRIED eating more than 900-1000 a day
    I've TRIED not purging (successfully lately!)
    But it's not just the weight
    it takes over my head
    my mind
    my every thought

    Is this my fault?? I dont even remember when or how this started??

    This is not your fault. For whatever reason, you will one day find the answer as to how this started. ( it can be as minor as someone's comment or hearing another person get a small comment about their weight, it also could be a loss or a way of control.. Even a way to deal with something in your past) strangely looking at pictures of your old self of all ages may help or speak with family and friends, as they will have or may have noticed when they had seen a difference? Once you do realise what started it, it will open up new doors for you. You can only take it at the pace you can do. If you are forced into it, you will most likely relapse. It has to be you who changes for yourself. You will no doubt know all this...


    Sadly you will always get people that tell you, you need help or make disgusting comments... You just have to remember you are not alone in your journey, there are thousands+ people that suffer with Ed every day, some talk about it, some suffer in silence. It's good to see that you are open and kind enough to share such a sensitive subject with us.

    Everyone is different.. We all go at different paces... That suit us. We need to remember that. I wish you all the best and well done on not purging. you're clearly stepping in the right direction. :heart:

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