Ladies I need Hair Advice - Off topic

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sblair77
sblair77 Posts: 355 Member
Ok a little background - I have spent the past 4 years growing my hair out. It's semi-wavy, very thick, coarse and down my back mid way. A few months back I decided to go to an actual hair dresser to bleach my hair from dark auburn to blonde. Since then I have been doing my roots at home because A) I have always done my own color and B) I had a terrible experience where they used 40 developer that burnt my scalp BIG time. I would rather do 2 -3 sessions of 30 dev than damage my hair and scalp.

Just the other day I noticed hand fulls of my hair coming out on one side towards the back. It's braking off on the back right side of my head about 4 inches from the scalp but there is longer hair above it towards the crown and below it at the nape of my neck so it is kind of covered. (Makes me sick on so many levels - I should have just done it myself)

I just got my hair this long and really hate parting with it but I realize I may since it is leaving me :-(

On a day to day basis I wear a bun or braid to work so no one notices it but on the weekends I like to let my hair air dry and just twist back the front bangs. I almost can't stand the way my hair looks when it dries now. It looks so straggly and thin on one side of my head.

Now in this situation would you take the plunge and just cut it off maybe in some sort of bob that keeps it long around your face (not sure if that is possible with it being 3-4 inches in that section) or would you continue wearing it as is and wait for that area to grow out - maybe cutting my hair back up to my shoulders until then?

Replies

  • TiffyBear415_xx
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    Since your hair is thick anyways I would probably just have someone thin out your whole head with some thinning shears. That way you keep your length and the break off sections will blend better with the rest of it.
  • Scarlett_S
    Scarlett_S Posts: 467 Member
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    That is awful, I am sorry. I am currently losing quite a bit of hair right now due to my weight loss and its very frightening to watch it come out every morning. :(

    It sounds like the bleach in that area was overdone or left on too long.

    I would cut it shorter (but maybe not SHORT) if you can continue to wear it to cover it up, and gradually get it back to the natural color so you don't have to keep up the blonde. I also have a hairpiece (fake ponytail) that matches my hair and I pin it in sometimes if I want it to look longer.

    Have faith, its only hair and it WILL grow back. I know its upsetting though.
  • FitChickBritt
    FitChickBritt Posts: 161 Member
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    If you really can't tell it's gone in the back because it's covered by other hair I would probably just wait before cutting it. Or atleast give it a lot of thought and see how long you can stand it. Sorry to hear that that's happening :-) It's tough on the hair trying to be a blonde.
  • Heatherbelle_87
    Heatherbelle_87 Posts: 1,078 Member
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    Honestly if you want to KEEP long hair, you need to stop bleaching it. That is the hardest coloring on your hair no matter what developer you use! chop it off, thin it out so that it isnt as noticeable and try going with a medium blonde instead of full on bleaching it. ALso if you have thick heavy hair and are constantly pulling it up you are damaging the roots putting it in restrictive styles like buns. So between your color and your styling youre killing your hair. You also might want to look into oil treatments and deep conditioning treatments if you are hell bent on continuing to bleach. Ive dyed my hair for years as has my sister (me red her blonde) we spend plenty to keep our hair healthy but its worth it
  • DarthBubbles
    DarthBubbles Posts: 138
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    I'm sorry about your poor hair. I was told to use a stronger developer than necessary and I had my hair coming out in clumps, it's not a good feeling and I sympathize :(
    If it was me, I think I'd just leave it or cut it shoulder length and baby my hair as much as possible.
    Best of luck, doll!
  • raychybabe
    raychybabe Posts: 121 Member
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    I had alopecia (stress related) which made my hair fall out in huge patches - message me, I understand how you feel x
  • iwlizz
    iwlizz Posts: 39 Member
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    have you thought of possibly cutting the hair on the other side to match it in length? like reverse layers? that way you get to keep some of your length, while the underneath part gets healthy again. I had something similar happen to the right side of my head in the back, and it was only an inch left on my head in the longest of parts, so I had to like buzz it short underneath. It took some getting used to, but now my hair is healthier than it has been in a long time (under the length of the top/front).
  • craftydeb
    craftydeb Posts: 77 Member
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    #1. You don't think that the 30v isn't damaging you hair and scalp? HELLO!! It's all bleach and it is ALL damaging. You must have, at one time, applied the bleach on top of the previously bleached area, where it's breaking because of the weakness the bleaching is causing to your hair.
    #2. I would get a haircut to remove breakage that may be occurring on the rest of your hair first. Then have several sessions, weekly-not daily, of deep conditioning and try to keep from twisting your hair at all.
    #3. Stop bleaching your hair and let your natural color come back out, Give it a rest...
    This is all cosmetology advice......
  • sblair77
    sblair77 Posts: 355 Member
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    Thanks for all the great advise! I have naturally dark blonde hair so bleaching the roots doesn't take but 10 minutes and I don't think it is as damaging as it would be if it were dark but maybe I do need to try and darken it up a tad and not go so light - I just wanted something different after years of red hair.

    I will go to sally's tonight and get some deep conditioners and think hard about what the next step to do will be. 4 inches is just so dang short!

    And yes when I was at the salon he had me come back a second time to do more bleach on top of the bleach he just did and that was when it burned my scalp but it didn't start breaking off for months after that.

    Well it's just hair and I was looking for a change so we shall see!

    Again thank you all! I am probably feeling more self conscience about it then the issue really is.
  • Ashley_Panda
    Ashley_Panda Posts: 1,404 Member
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    Stop bleaching your hair. Cut it off and let it grow back healthy. It's going to look awful different lengths with so much damage. Any bleach damages your hair. So do hard scrunchies or rubber bands. If you want healthy hair test your hair better.
  • _GingerSnap_
    _GingerSnap_ Posts: 339 Member
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    Since your hair is thick anyways I would probably just have someone thin out your whole head with some thinning shears. That way you keep your length and the break off sections will blend better with the rest of it.

    I agree. Try to even it out and maybe with some balance it will be more manageable. You can always cut it off after. Also I would look into a product called Nioxin. Sold at salons but proven to help regrow hair and promotes a healthy scalp. I've used it for years and love it.
  • Ashley_Panda
    Ashley_Panda Posts: 1,404 Member
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    Even if you so thin your hair it's still going to be damaged. You need to cut off the damaged part and allow it to grow back with oyt chemical processing. We saw this all the time at cosmetology school.
  • sblair77
    sblair77 Posts: 355 Member
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    Honestly if you want to KEEP long hair, you need to stop bleaching it. That is the hardest coloring on your hair no matter what developer you use! chop it off, thin it out so that it isnt as noticeable and try going with a medium blonde instead of full on bleaching it. ALso if you have thick heavy hair and are constantly pulling it up you are damaging the roots putting it in restrictive styles like buns. So between your color and your styling youre killing your hair. You also might want to look into oil treatments and deep conditioning treatments if you are hell bent on continuing to bleach. Ive dyed my hair for years as has my sister (me red her blonde) we spend plenty to keep our hair healthy but its worth it

    So blow drying my hair would be better for it than twisting it into a bun? I never put a base rubber band just pins to hold it in place.
  • Missylydia
    Missylydia Posts: 304 Member
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    The pins can actually be really nasty on the hair, especially when it's wet, sorry. (I studied hairdressing for a year)
    I'd say get done good protein conditioners and.get someone to thin it out. Also, kelp suppliments can make your hair grow quicker! ;)
    My hair is naturally really dark and could only handle being bleached white blonde for a year then it turned cotton woolley, so it's back to brunette for me! # sigh
    it was fun though!
  • peanut613
    peanut613 Posts: 438 Member
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    The same thing happened to me when I had my hair chemically straightened. It was thick and curly half way down my back, so the hair dresser applied the chemicals in mass quantities and I didn't realize it (I had no idea what the procedure entailed.) I had chunks ALL OVER my head that fell out, leaving pieces that were only 1/2 an inch long. It was horrible. I ended up chopping all my hair off. It really sucked, as I'm sure your situation does. I would go to a hair stylist that you trust and ask them to cut it in a way that will best fix it WITHOUT chopping it all off, if possible. Good luck!
  • millerll
    millerll Posts: 873 Member
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    If you want to deep condition your hair, forget about Sallys.

    Get either jojoba oil (at your health food store) or organic coconut oil (health food section of your grocery store). Apply a small amount of either roots to tips, then braid it and go to bed. Rinse out the next morning, go easy on the shampooing your length, and apply a good conditioner to the length (not scalp) daily. Avoid heat as much as possible - let your hair air dry, don't flat iron, curling iron, etc. These all damage your hair.

    You may still need to cut it, but the rest will be in better condition. Good luck!