Why are people so cruel especially family

purplemnm72
purplemnm72 Posts: 37 Member
edited November 26 in Motivation and Support
Just need a pick me up and to vent. I am morbidly obese. I started MFP weighing in at 393 lbs 7 weeks ago. I've list 27lb and am quite proud of what I have done. My Aunt told my mom I'm disgusting looking, wore out looking, look like I've gained more weight and just aweful looking.I saw her 2 days ago. I never planned to get to 393lbs and spent most of my life yo yo diet. I feel great minus being tired from taking care of 3 special need kiddo from age 12 month to 6. I'm not giving up on myself. I will continue to loose weight. Just why do people I care about have to be so cruel.

Replies

  • RuNaRoUnDaFiEld
    RuNaRoUnDaFiEld Posts: 5,864 Member
    I wouldn't sweat it, some people are just mean.

    I'm concerned why your Mom passed on the mean message though!

    Congratulations on your HUGE 27lb loss, success is the best revenge :)
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    RuNaRoUnDaFiEld wrote: »
    I wouldn't sweat it, some people are just mean.

    I'm concerned why your Mom passed on the mean message though!

    Congratulations on your HUGE 27lb loss, success is the best revenge :)

    That was my question: why would a mother pass that along.
  • Debmal77
    Debmal77 Posts: 4,770 Member
    Congrats on your weight loss so far. I know exactly how you feel. Family can be our worst critics. Stay on your weight loss path and make her eat her words. You got this!

  • Christineb37
    Christineb37 Posts: 1 Member
    Congrats on your loss. You should look at Dianne Carbonell's blog. She lost a lot of weight many years ago and is is very motivating. Keep going. You can do it!
  • Lynzdee18
    Lynzdee18 Posts: 500 Member
    Congratulations on your loss to date. If you don't have family support, it's so hard.

    Perhaps join some groups here? There are many who understand the challenges you are facing. They can be your support system. I know I've found some good friends here weho understand and don't judge.

    Keep eating healthy and moving your body. You can beat this! Be your own best friend!
  • purplemnm72
    purplemnm72 Posts: 37 Member
    Thank you all. My mom tells me everything. My Aunt is on her case as well telling her what to eat etc. My mom has severe RA and it's crippling her. I have joined a group and even started a personal blog to keep myself motivated. I will succeed and she will eat her own words.
  • finnsgma
    finnsgma Posts: 55 Member
    I think family cam be particularly cruel because they know you are "stuck" with them, so to speak. My mother was always my worst critic, telling me no one would ever love me because I am so fat. Now I am healthy, happily married, have two gorgeous kids and she is now telling me I am to thin and Vain. Family is just mean mean mean.
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    Congrats on your weight loss :) Prioritize your sleep because good sleep is an important part of weight loss.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    I kept a good part of my weight loss enterprise secret from my own family, except from hubby. He's been great; mostly a disinterested observer. I have come to appreciate someone who lets me do my thing without judgement.

    When my weight loss became more apparent and I started to get major health gains, I became more open about it. This is your body and your life.

    Something to keep in mind when talking to people like your aunt:

    http://jokes.cc.com/funny-school/25160g/two-southern-ladies

    20130823-theodore-roosevelt-quote-600x411.jpg
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    Some families are dysfunctional. It sucks, but you don't have to be like them. Congratulations on losing weight! Just stick to your plan and hang out with positive people as much as you can. (Personally, I can only take so much of my family).
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schadenfreude#Scientific_studies
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
    I'm so sorry your aunt was so rude. Please try to shake this off and continue in your process of weight loss. Remember, we all will always have naysayers ,no matter what we do. So make it your mission to prove them wrong . don't give up. There's tons of success stories on here, people who started at your weight and above who made it to goal by counting calories !! It can be done. Just stick with it.
  • purplemnm72
    purplemnm72 Posts: 37 Member
    RodaRose wrote: »
    Congrats on your weight loss :) Prioritize your sleep because good sleep is an important part of weight loss.

    I get sleep when I can. Last child's in bed at 930. My day starts at 330 4. I shower then they start to wake around 5. I am raising my son and my two nephews (80% of the time). All have special needs from feeding tubes, CP, FAS ASD and more. They are my life and wear me down at times but I would not trade it for anything different.

  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    Where I live there is respite care where caregivers can take a vacation once in a while. Do you have similar resources where you are? Not that I think you need to take a break or I think you look tired or anything. Just offering options.
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    Go to sleep at 9:30. You need to sleep when they are sleeping. This is very important. <3
    Tell your family members to arrange for someone to come over to help with cleaning and laundry a few days a week.
  • gmallan
    gmallan Posts: 2,099 Member
    You can't control what people say to you but you can control how they make you feel and your reaction to it. Comments like your Aunt's are more a refelction on the person making them than on you and generally come from a place of insecurity. Ignore it and move past it and definitely don't let it stop you from pursuing your goal. Keep on going and she won't be able to ignore your success
  • Cidalia1173
    Cidalia1173 Posts: 8 Member
    For some people, it makes them feel smug or better about themselves. Tell her to shove it where the sun don't shine. Focus on you and on making sustainable changes that will help you reach your goals.
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