Relationships vs Weight

it has since I divorced somewhat, part is not having confidence(Who wants a 39 yr old overweight woman?) some is trust.

Sweetheart....I have been there!

When I was younger I had the same problem. Let me tell you that someday you will find someone. But it really is a matter of confidence and overcoming your own demons. I was the friend that sat on the sidelines and all of them would tell me I was beautiful and I would ask why can't a find a guy who wants me. When I entered college I got my first boyfriend he was a star baseball player and I felt like its about time finally. Let me tell you he was the guy you are talking about. I didn't know at the time that he had a girlfriend at home (that was pregnant) but he told me he was single. His neighbor was the one that told me about the girlfriend back home (at the end of the semester):grumble: . Let's just say I wasn't going to be the girl that destroys relationships. I confronted him and we broke up and that did not stop him from calling me. I had to gain confidence in myself before I could have a successful relationship.

I moved south and met my husband and let me tell you he is the best husband in the world we will be married for 13 years in two weeks and we have a beautiful daughter:smooched:love: . Be patient and watch out for those demons because they will destroy you!


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After going through two relationships that deliberately fueled an eating disorder... the second one ending in a broken engagement (only to find out he broke it off because he knocked someone else up... and married her) I absolutely refuse to lose weight for anyone besides myself, and become healthy for MYSELF. I was single for a year and a half after that broken engagement, blaming everything on my weight ( I lost a considerable amount when I was with him and as soon as we broke up I spiraled into a depression and gained about 15 back) then I became even more preoccupied with the fact that NO ONE was interested in me anymore and gained another 25 pounds in a month and a half. So being at my heaviest ever (without a pregnancy haha) I reconnected with an old flame, and we will have been together for 6 months in a couple weeks. He never said anything negative about my body or my weight.
Last week (after not seeing me for a week) was the first time he had said anything at all and it was as simple as "Babe, you look great! have you lost weight or something??" uhhh yea, like 25 pounds since we started dating haha.. but I appreciated it.

I've been played, cheated on, used.. blah blah blah... but those were the guys that kept a huge emphasis on physical appearance. That's not what anyone should want. You should want someone that sees through everything on the surface and adores you for who you are on the inside. Now that doesn't mean he shouldn't tell you you are beautiful every day no matter what you are wearing or what the scale says, but that's the truth.

Moral of the story, when you become preoccupied with why you AREN'T in a relationship and that it MUST be because you are overweight or some other quality... you begin to put your self-worth into if you are in a relationship or not which just spells disaster.
As my grandma told me when I was becoming anxiety ridden over all of this stuff... "Be patient honey, 'Thor' will come in due time!" And man oh man was she right!!!

You're gorgeous, and as soon as one guy gets enough cojones to come up and ask you out it will happen.

i have lost 130+ lbs and have only ever been asked for my number once and have never had a boyfriend (im 23) sometimes it bothers me when i see friends and relatives in relationships, sometimes im glad as i think i cant be bothered with the hassle but as ppl have said also with me its about confidence, when u are confident in urself ur time will come.