What am I doing wrong?

2ChaCha wrote: »

And again, as I'm sure I said two years ago, once I find an extra $200 every month, I'll start going to a therapist. But since my insurance keeps going up and my pay isn't increasing with it, I'm still kind of stuck on the whole counseling situation.

Please see book recommendation. I would also pursue if there are sliding scale options. Find a good eating disorders therapist who will do a 8-16 week protocol with you. I know it is is tough to even fathom, but this is something that can make a huge difference in your mental and physical health which will likely save you money in the moderate-term.

Or your county health dept. or other community services. You may qualify for assistance. You never know unless you ask.

I'm 5'2"and have lost weight on MFP for 2 1/2 years. I stopped for a year, didn't log anything, and gained it all back. I didn't know about TDEE, or CICO. What I did know was to follow the instructions on MFP and stay within the calorie count I had set, or I wouldn't lose weight. I make a big batch of chili every month and I count how many cans of everything went in, and how many veggies and tofu, and add up all of the calories, and divide by the number of portions. I put that under "my meals". Once I did it, it was done for forever. I have a few measured out meals that I use under "my meals" or "my recipes".

If you aren't going to log, and have gained ten pounds, I don't know how you expect to have success down the road. Brushing your teeth is tedious and time consuming too, but most of us still do it. Logging is like that. Once you start logging, if you aren't losing as fast as you want, you might look at weighing foods to see if you're off on your portion size. I only started weighing foods after I plateaued for 2 weeks. But, I've always logged my calories so that I knew whether I was in the ball park. By gaining ten pounds, you know you aren't in the ball park.

I finally saw success - with a lot of help - in my fifties. So really honey, why the rush? Marathons aren't won by sprinters.

I was a single parent too so I understand the time and money constraints. You are doing amazing with the resources you have.

I see signs of all or nothing thinking. You can read about cognitive distortion on Wikipedia.

You have a broad spectrum of choices between the way you ate before and how you are trying to eat now. You don't have to starve yourself to lose weight. Not every meal has to be perfect. You don't get credit in the weight loss game by trying harder than everyone else. You win through persistence and adjusting your strategy as you go. This is a race for turtles.

I suggest you find a few good breakfasts and a few good dinners that are filling and within your goals. Enter them as recipes so after you weigh them once you are done.

All the other things you were doing, they will improve your health. The running gives you endurance and strength. The home cooking is full of vitamins and fiber. But to lose weight your calorie goals must be consistent. And that comes from weighing and logging.

tincanonastring wrote: »

AliceDark wrote: »

2ChaCha wrote: »

And again, as I'm sure I said two years ago, once I find an extra $200 every month, I'll start going to a therapist. But since my insurance keeps going up and my pay isn't increasing with it, I'm still kind of stuck on the whole counseling situation.

Check to see if your insurance includes an EAP (employee assistance program). They often do, and it's a free benefit to you, but most people don't know they have them. The benefit depends on the program, but EAPs often cover 100% of the cost of up to 5 therapist visits.

Also, look into Overeater's Anonymous.

+1 on EAP. My company does benefit enrollments and part of our job is communicating the details of plans like these. You can often get up to 3 visits with a therapist free of charge. Also, see if you have a Health Advocate program (or something similar like a carrier concierge). They may be able to work with your insurance carrier to fully explore your coverage options.

+1 on EAP. The last 2 companies I worked for offered 6 free sessions, and hooked me up with a therapist that would offer a discounted rate based on my economic situation. Just ask. The worse they can say is "no", and you are no worse off than before you asked!

I also agree with what everyone else has said re: logging. I actually cook/prep breakfast and lunch for the week on Sundays. Then, I prelog everything for the week, except dinner, which is usually leftovers or something quick that I had previously logged before! Takes me 5 mins to log about 75% of my week. This also keeps me from eating over my cals for the day. And, I save money by not eating out (ashamed to admit, but there would be days I had breakfast, lunch, and dinner from a fast food restaurant).

Just thought I would give you some ideas, as these are things that I have found success doing. Now, keep in mind, I had to find a system that worked for me. Had to tweak and tinker many times to find something that worked for me. Try something for 2 weeks, if it doesn't work, assess and see what you can do differently, this is where logging helps. If you found yourself hungry at night, see if you can have a smaller breakfast to move those calories for dinner. Not much of a lunch person? Plan a small midday snack and bulk up the other two meals. It takes patience, but it will be worth it.

Also, I'm 30, work a sedentary job, don't do much exercise apart from a 15-30 min walk on my lunch, and I have been losing steadily.

I am a single mom, have been for many, many moons. I read your profile...you state that you are single mom of a very busy child....I remember those days, absolute exhaustion...picking up child, getting home, getting them fed, bathed, reading time..you doing chores...never ending laundry cooking and cleaning and getting ready for the next day...on and on it goes. And if the child is high energy and always moving, wow, just exhausting. And so I can see you not wanting to weigh and log your food, or eating the next bite, satieting that empty and sad feeling you have inside, cause you are exhausted, overwhelmed, and lonely. Been there for a long time. I get how you want to take this all off fast, so that you can perhaps start dating and finding a companion to share the load of raising a kid alone. Kind of why I kept the weight on for nearly 18 years (with a brief break in the middle). It's just easier.

I'm not saying this is everything you are going through, and I may not be remotely close, but I hear a cry for help. It's hard work caring for a child, and it's hard work shedding weight. So, you need help. People to come along side you, physically at home, and here on the board. But you have to reach out too and ask for that help. You need an afternoon to yourself to go to the gym, to go grocery shopping and have time to prep your food. Maybe you can find another mom in your child's school who you can swap babysitting days or set up play dates.

I'll send you a friend request. I hope to come along side you.

2ChaCha wrote: »

Over the past two months I have cut my fast food intake to one small meal per week; I have decreased the amount of alcohol I drink, I cook pretty much all my meals at home and use clean, natural ingredients, even organic sometimes; I only eat lean meats, low-fat dairy in small amounts, whole-grain anything (and I have cut carbs way way down, maybe one serving a day), and fresh fruits/veggies, and I don't eat anything fried; I stopped drinking sodas and I rarely eat anything sweet; I don't snack; I drink ridiculous amounts of water every day; and I've started jogging two miles a day about three times a week. My wonderful results: I've GAINED 10 pounds. And no, it's not muscle, because my clothes fit even worse than they did before and I can't even stand to look at myself. So what am I doing wrong? I don't have time to run more cause I'm a single mom and I have to do it on my lunch breaks and some days I have errands to take care of or I get busy at work and don't get a break. Other than not eating at all, I feel like I've cut it down to the bare minimum. I'm miserable, and not seeing any positive results makes me want to give up. What do I do???

Weight loss is not about what you eat, it's about how much you eat.

If you've gained wegiht and your clothes are tighter, that means you are eating too much.

Eat at a calorie deficit and you will lose weight.

Another +1 to check into your company's EAP. The 6 sessions I took advantage of a year ago were exactly what I needed to get my head back on straight, accept that I was depressed from many setbacks and losses over the past 3 years, get on the right medication and stop indulging myself by overeating and drinking. I have lost almost 70 lbs since January. Weighing and logging your food gets you back in control of your life and I believe saves you money and time in the long run. I hope you'll really read the great advice you've been given here and start down a new and happier path for yourself and your son.

When I was trying to diet without logging my food, I gained, too. I know my problem was portions. When I started logging foods, down to coffee creamer, etc., the adjustment to what I needed to eat versus what I like to eat was pretty radical. It took me a few weeks to get used to it.

Today I can pretty much know where I am really at, calorie-wise, for the day by eye-balling and by my hunger level. I still log everything, because I'm in loss mode for 6 more lbs. But I've definitely found the appropriate portion for my age and height and it's working.

Try logging and see how much you are really eating. I think it's totally normal to imagine since it's not crappy food that you should lose. Truth is.....no. Good healthy foods will pack on the pounds, too. Find the right portion size, though, and you'll find the zone for losing.

What strikes me after reading everything is to emphasize that even if you lose it quickly by mind-over-matter perfect willpower and stick to 1200, and you get to your perfect weight quickly like you want -- at that point you still are not done. I have found maintenance WAY harder than losing.

I think it's way easier to take it slow, lose at a sustainable rate that won't cause binges. You still have a lifetime of maintenance staring you in the face at the end.