This is so not cool! RANT!!

lol. that isn't cool, her expecting you all to furnish her new apartment.. maybe she should get a job, and add to the great new experience and second chance public assistance has given her.. Honestly if you need, and I MEAN NEED Gov't assistance, then good for you and whatever, but it really gets on my nerves when people abuse the system, and think they can just get everything spoon fed to them, because they made bad decisions... and then to make matters worse, pop out more babies just to get more assistance.. anywho.. back on topic, she's in the real world now, she doesn't need to be spoon fed, what she needs is a good swift kick and some tough love. she'll be all the better off for it.

Why are you letting it get to you? Why not be the bigger person and offer a small gift and be done with her?

I had the same kind of issue with my husbands cousin except she doesn't have a kid, almost 30 has never paid a bill in her life, parties and gets drunk/high every night and when she decides to get her own place she has a "housewarming party" and had a list of things she needed.......my husband and I were just like uh excuse me?

Annoying!!!!!

I figure, give the girl the benefit of the doubt.

Since you moved out on your own, you know that it costs a pretty penny - perhaps she just doesn't know anyone who can give her hand-me-downs. If your that opposed to paying for some gift, maybe send her something you are no longer using that she might need (like a pot or some old glasses). I know when I moved out, my friends helped out a lot with the little things that add up - 4 years later and I still have 4 dining room chairs on loan from a friends mother as I haven't had the money to purchase my own yet.

Maybe she only registered for stuff because people told her that's what she's supposed to do. Besides, if you don't think you should support her 'bad' decisions then don't go to the party.

As if no one has ever made bad decisions before and needed a little help to make things better. Isn't that why we are all here? Different story, but bottom line the same thing. We're all fat, trying to lose weight, because of bad decisions....and we're all here for support and help. Financial or not. You could support her move by just showing up and buy her a card. I'm sure she'd love that! I don't think it's fair to say it's "not cool" because she chose to keep her child, knowing the father wouldn't be there, etc. How many adopted or aborted kids would there be if everyone chose to get rid of someone because of Daddy? That's insane. Anyway, I honestly think that when people get so bent out of shape, LOL, about someone else's lives, they have got to be jealous of something!!

As if no one has ever made bad decisions before and needed a little help to make things better. Isn't that why we are all here? Different story, but bottom line the same thing. We're all fat, trying to lose weight, because of bad decisions....and we're all here for support and help. Financial or not. You could support her move by just showing up and buy her a card. I'm sure she'd love that! I don't think it's fair to say it's "not cool" because she chose to keep her child, knowing the father wouldn't be there, etc. How many adopted or aborted kids would there be if everyone chose to get rid of someone because of Daddy? That's insane. Anyway, I honestly think that when people get so bent out of shape, LOL, about someone else's lives, they have got to be jealous of something!!

Good one

Why are you letting it get to you? Why not be the bigger person and offer a small gift and be done with her?

^ empathy it's an incredible gift:flowerforyou:

i agree with you, but some others are right about letting it go. yes its frustrating. I had a child at 19 and my mother did not enable me. Because I had no one to give me hand outs I made a way for me and my child. No help from the father either. I eventually became a foster mom and watched many many girls make very bad decisions and watched their parents enable them. It is frustrating, but take the higher road, get her a card and wish her and her child luck. Hopefully she will make the right decisions and follow through with school and improve her life

As if no one has ever made bad decisions before and needed a little help to make things better. Isn't that why we are all here? Different story, but bottom line the same thing. We're all fat, trying to lose weight, because of bad decisions....and we're all here for support and help. Financial or not. You could support her move by just showing up and buy her a card. I'm sure she'd love that! I don't think it's fair to say it's "not cool" because she chose to keep her child, knowing the father wouldn't be there, etc. How many adopted or aborted kids would there be if everyone chose to get rid of someone because of Daddy? That's insane. Anyway, I honestly think that when people get so bent out of shape, LOL, about someone else's lives, they have got to be jealous of something!!

Good one

I agree with this...

I was down and and out and I had a child that the dad didn't want. I had people in my life that helped me in many ways and now my baby has graduated college and I am getting kisses from my grand baby. Relax help the kid out...

the only thing that irks me about your post is the fact that you look down on the fact that she kept her baby. not something that should be looked at in a negative light.. at all. anyways.. just ignore the whole situation if it bugs you that bad.

I actually think staying home with her parents whilst she has a young child is a pretty sensible thing to do.
I fell pregnant at 20, had him at 21. I stayed with the dad but I would have loved to move back in with my mum, for financial and emotional support. If we didn't try and kill each other when we live together then that is what I would have done, and she would have had me.

Yes she chose to keep the baby, but if I found myself in the situation of singledom it wouldn't just be a case of 'oh well, the dads gone, this is going to be difficult, might as well vacuum my baby out of me'. Geez. The love for a child is beyond anything you can ever imagine - I see from your inspirations a wee one is what you are yearning for - when you have your child you will gain a little perspective. It is so wrong to assume that every woman experiencing financial or emotional hardship should just either abort the baby, or put up with the **** cards they've been dealt. Mothers need support, education and most of all understanding and non judgemental figures in their lives.

Maybe its different in the USA but here in the UK, or at least its all I've ever known - is to help as much as possible when somebody moves into a new place, particularly parents. My single friend has just moved into some social housing with her 2 young boys and I don't automatically think of how much she has already taken off the government in housing and welfare, I'm thinking how can I help her? Is there anything I don't need that I can give her for the house? Can I clear up the broken glass in the garden? Or fix the gate?
I know she would do the same for me. I'm glad I have friends like her and not like you!

Young mothers, especially single young mothers need alot of support. Its HARD. Really, really, hard. Financially, emotionally, and physically. Cut her some slack. If you don't want to get her anything then fine, but at least wish her well and good luck, but personally I'd maybe think about getting some clothes for the child in bigger sizes for her to grow into? They don't even have to be new. Kids are in them 2 minutes and second hand is almost always looks brand new anyway.

With the whole family/single Mom back story aside, I think it's kind of tacky to hold a going away party and register for gifts. I mean seriously? When did people start requestng gifts when they move away? I thought that was saved for more special occasions... like weddings and the birth of a child. Call me old fashion...

actually lots of well off people when they move to a new place, have going away or even house warming parties. So if she was well off and moving to a new place would you still find it nervy to have a party for it? It is also customary for people to bring gifts to such parties. The only thing i find tacky is the registared at Target part. Peronsonaly this "Registry" for every little possible gift giving event is getting a bit ridiculous .

Maybe its different in the USA but here in the UK, or at least its all I've ever known - is to help as much as possible when somebody moves into a new place, particularly parents. My single friend has just moved into some social housing with her 2 young boys and I don't automatically think of how much she has already taken off the government in housing and welfare, I'm thinking how can I help her? Is there anything I don't need that I can give her for the house? Can I clear up the broken glass in the garden? Or fix the gate?
I know she would do the same for me. I'm glad I have friends like her and not like you!

Young mothers, especially single young mothers need alot of support. Its HARD. Really, really, hard. Financially, emotionally, and physically. Cut her some slack. If you don't want to get her anything then fine, but at least wish her well and good luck, but personally I'd maybe think about getting some clothes for the child in bigger sizes for her to grow into? They don't even have to be new. Kids are in them 2 minutes and second hand is almost always looks brand new anyway.

What a wonderful attitude to have!!:smooched: You sound like you're a terrific Mom, you're kind, compassionate, caring I could on! Such a nice post to see among some of the others that are a bit less than positive.

So glad you took time to post and shared your experiences as well!:flowerforyou: The attitude above that you share about the UK is most definitely what most feel/do here in the US. The positive responses on here show that :happy: the others? I don't have a clue what that's about. We all have made choices in life that we may regret a bit but better to move on in a positive manner than stay stuck and beat ourselves up over it. The hope is our circle of friends support us in the same way, if not they wouldn't be in my circle of friends, simple as that.

ETA: I should add, as the above poster shared "its all I've ever known". that's the perspective I come from as well, help out when I can, in whatever way I can. If not monetarily then a simple gift of caring, love the idea of children's clothing, or something simple and pretty to make her new home bright and inviting for her and her child. :flowerforyou:

I remember in my late teens/early 20s moving and not having much of anything, it's hard starting out alone, let alone with a child to care for.

As if no one has ever made bad decisions before and needed a little help to make things better. Isn't that why we are all here? Different story, but bottom line the same thing. We're all fat, trying to lose weight, because of bad decisions....and we're all here for support and help. Financial or not. You could support her move by just showing up and buy her a card. I'm sure she'd love that! I don't think it's fair to say it's "not cool" because she chose to keep her child, knowing the father wouldn't be there, etc. How many adopted or aborted kids would there be if everyone chose to get rid of someone because of Daddy? That's insane. Anyway, I honestly think that when people get so bent out of shape, LOL, about someone else's lives, they have got to be jealous of something!!

Agree!