Feeling defeated

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Linda3y
Linda3y Posts: 1 Member
in Motivation and Support
When I graduated high school I was 150...almost ten years later and two kids I'm struggling to get under 200 I want to be a healthy weight for my family so my goal is 160-175ish. My wedding is six n half months away and I need to lose like 40lbs. I start up and do great and dnt see improvements fast enough then stop n it gets harder and harder to start each time!

Replies

  • llbrixon
    llbrixon Posts: 964 Member
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    You can absolutely do this this! Stay strong!
  • busyPK
    busyPK Posts: 3,788 Member
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    Set mini goals along the way. For me, that has been exercise goals. Increasing distance or speed on my treadmill, signing up and completing a 5k, etc.. That helps me stay focused on more than the number on the scale.
  • llbrixon
    llbrixon Posts: 964 Member
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    This is basically the weight I am at and I am losing weight, I have been doing the program for 2 weeks and I have already lost 6 pounds. Your head has to be ready to lose the weight or you will have a tough time trying to stay on a program. Do it! I also want to get down to 155 to 165 range in weight.
  • zorahgail
    zorahgail Posts: 91 Member
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    @Linda3y hang in there! In my experience motivation comes and goes and is unreliable for keeping me on track. Just keep taking action and doing the daily work and you WILL succeed.

    I've shared this in other threads but here are suggestions on how to stay consistent:

    1. Remembering that consistency is built over time, and that the upward trend is more important than a bad day or two (or week/month/year LOL).

    2. Look for all-or-nothing thinking, and challenge it. Are you being a perfectionist or unrealistic with your expectations?

    3. Pick ONE battle to fight. It's so easy to want to make ALL.THE.CHANGES. at once, and to have them be done overnight. When I'm highly motivated, I might be able to hit it really hard for a short time, but eventually I burn myself out. So when things get tough, I pick one thing (usually a back-to-basics thing) and devote my energy to that.

    4. Ignore my feelings. When my inner 2-year old is throwing a tantrum and crying things like “I can’t do this”, “I don’t wanna”, “Why?!?!”, or "I don't feel like it", I ignore it and stick to the plan.

    5. Throw yourself a pity party. Set a timer for 10-60 minutes and go full-on feeling sorry for yourself. Once the time's up, move on.

    6. Remind yourself of your "why." What's your honest-to-goodness, deep-in-your-soul reason for doing this fitness/health/weight loss thing?

    7. Answer "What do I want for myself?" Get very specific. Get detailed with your senses – what will you see/hear/touch/smell/taste when you get what you want? What thoughts will you have, what emotions will you experience?

    8. Take a teeny tiny, smaller-than-a-baby-step action. When you want to quit and give up, take a miniscule action that's worth doing to keep moving forward. I'm talking so small that it's IMPOSSIBLE to fail, and that sets you up for inevitable success.
  • amandanicole90a
    amandanicole90a Posts: 34 Member
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    You can do it!! Add me if you would like to!
  • middlehaitch
    middlehaitch Posts: 8,484 Member
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    Just stay positive.
    Give up and in six months you can be the same as you are now.
    Carry on logging, even when the changes seem small, and in six months you could be at, or close to, the weight you want to be.

    If you have the inclination including some resistance work will improve your bones and muscles, and help red lot your body.

    It is easier if you think of this as a positive experience and embrace it; rather that a war you are trying to win.

    Cheers, h.
  • scolaris
    scolaris Posts: 2,145 Member
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    I started at 200. And I'm OLD! lol What I mean is you're young & your metabolism at that age makes it a little easier to lose once you get your momentum with this going.
    I eat plenty of calories every day & primarily walk. I just charted my days on MFP against my weight loss & I lose something like 1.2 lbs a week. So I'm about halfway to where you want to be! You can do this! Don't go crazy all at once. Set a modest goal like 1 lb/week. Eat anything your little heart desires within your calorie goal at first; over time you will gravitate toward healthier & more nutrient rich food choices. Look thru people's food diaries here for ideas. (Or for a giggle if you're feeling bad about your own poor choices! LOL) Start with any activity that makes you feel good. You don't have to exercise to lose weight but you will feel so much better about your amazing body if you do. Push yourself to do just a little more each week. Calculate a maintenance calorie number for the weight you are currently & if you start to feel overwhelmed eat that for a day or two. It's very empowering. You will see that you are completely in charge of this.
    You have a gorgeous young family. Do this now & get that out of your way! xo
  • VisofSer
    VisofSer Posts: 130 Member
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    The bywords for fat loss and body recomposition are patience, consistency, discipline, flexibility and acceptance.

    You have your goal, now break into smaller ones so that you have steps to succeed on the way to your final aim. Branch those smaller goals into multiple aspects and behaviours that you can lay out in a weekly and daily fashion, and act on this new plan right away, then keep it going consistently.

    Accept that fat loss is not a linear or as predictable as any of us would like, but it is reliable if you keep a negative energy balance. Eat less, move more, keep a disciplined line and your body, and quite often mind as well, will change and be re-shaped because of your actions.

    Remember there is no value in extreme perfectionism, in hating yourself if you slip or slide away from absolute perfection. Plan a re-feed meal so you can enjoy a stress free time with family, friends, or just a good glass of wine and cheese by yourself or whatever food or drink you have a particular liking for. Being flexible means that a miss is not the end, and that you can return to the plan with minimal drama and pain, and that means more success.

    You are starting better than many as well 40lbs over 6 months is very achievable. Call it 24 weeks makes it an average of 1.7lbs a week. Even a reduced average of 1.5lbs/wk would be a loss of 36lbs, and this is purposely not counting the months with 5 weeks, 4.5 and other extra days.

    You can achieve this, stay at it.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    busyPK wrote: »
    Set mini goals along the way. For me, that has been exercise goals. Increasing distance or speed on my treadmill, signing up and completing a 5k, etc.. That helps me stay focused on more than the number on the scale.

    I agree with this. Set small goals, and don't make it entirely scale-focused. Accomplishments don't have to be by the pound. Although you can still focus on the scale as long as you don't become obsessed. Celebrate every 3 pounds by doing something special!
  • wizzybeth
    wizzybeth Posts: 3,573 Member
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    busyPK wrote: »
    Set mini goals along the way. For me, that has been exercise goals. Increasing distance or speed on my treadmill, signing up and completing a 5k, etc.. That helps me stay focused on more than the number on the scale.

    ^This is excellent advice. You can't feel defeated when you do what you set out to do each day - take it one day at a time rather than trying to see the whole picture at once - of course it's overwhelming. Losing 40 lbs is HUGE...but losing 1-2 lbs a week is definitely do-able and not overwhelming - but take each day as it comes. Drink your water, log your calories. I promise it will come off - don't worry about the next six months - worry about today and only today. Then tomorrow, worry about tomorrow.

    I do what busyPK suggests: when I work out on the elliptical, the next day I want to do JUST A LITTLE MORE - either work out an extra couple minutes, or get just a little "further" on the "mileage" - if I did 2 miles last time, then the next time I want to do 2.25 miles in the same time frame. OR If I worked out 20 minutes, then the next time, I want to do 22 or 23 minutes - just little bites.



  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,711 Member
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    zorahgail wrote: »
    @Linda3y hang in there! In my experience motivation comes and goes and is unreliable for keeping me on track. Just keep taking action and doing the daily work and you WILL succeed.

    I've shared this in other threads but here are suggestions on how to stay consistent:

    1. Remembering that consistency is built over time, and that the upward trend is more important than a bad day or two (or week/month/year LOL).

    2. Look for all-or-nothing thinking, and challenge it. Are you being a perfectionist or unrealistic with your expectations?

    3. Pick ONE battle to fight. It's so easy to want to make ALL.THE.CHANGES. at once, and to have them be done overnight. When I'm highly motivated, I might be able to hit it really hard for a short time, but eventually I burn myself out. So when things get tough, I pick one thing (usually a back-to-basics thing) and devote my energy to that.

    4. Ignore my feelings. When my inner 2-year old is throwing a tantrum and crying things like “I can’t do this”, “I don’t wanna”, “Why?!?!”, or "I don't feel like it", I ignore it and stick to the plan.

    5. Throw yourself a pity party. Set a timer for 10-60 minutes and go full-on feeling sorry for yourself. Once the time's up, move on.

    6. Remind yourself of your "why." What's your honest-to-goodness, deep-in-your-soul reason for doing this fitness/health/weight loss thing?

    7. Answer "What do I want for myself?" Get very specific. Get detailed with your senses – what will you see/hear/touch/smell/taste when you get what you want? What thoughts will you have, what emotions will you experience?

    8. Take a teeny tiny, smaller-than-a-baby-step action. When you want to quit and give up, take a miniscule action that's worth doing to keep moving forward. I'm talking so small that it's IMPOSSIBLE to fail, and that sets you up for inevitable success.

    I like all of this. OP, this may be good to print and post somewhere you will see it often. You don't have to do or read them all every day, but just one or two will get you through each day successfully. Good luck and just follow your plan. Don't over think it.

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