Teen Weight

I am so glad I read your post, Kate. My son is 14, obese, and suffers from depression. His Dad and I had a long talk with him last night as we are really worried about him; his grade in English dropped from a 95 to a 53 on yesterday's mid-term report (with similar slippage in other subjects, but English was the most dramatic). We know he lacks confidence and finds social situations difficult, and he has been missing more time at school this year.

I know that he wants to lose weight and get healthier, but it's a lot to expect of a younger teenager to stay motivated and keep on track on their own. I am trying to lead by example, but know I need to make more effort to include my son in exercise; that might mean walking the indoor walking track at the community centre, instead of walking outside, or waiting until evening so we can do a workout together, instead of doing it before I go to work. Sometimes parents are focused on other things, or don't know what to say or how to help, but they do care and can be a great support. Find time when you have their undivided attention, and talk to them.

If you find that your parents are not very supportive or engaged, look for other sources of support. It's great that you reached out on MFP, and I hope some other teens respond. Don't discount school supports, your doctor, and extended family supports. Sometimes you can talk to grandparents about things you can't really talk to your parents about, or you might an aunt or uncle that is sympathetic and supportive.

I was an overweight teen in an overweight family; my situation was obviously a little different than yours. However, I imagined there are some similar issues that caused the weight problems. I focused on my grades, so I could get into a good college and "get away" from my parents. Once I got my "freedom," I lost a significant amount of weight and was able to maintain my weight loss (for 20 years now). For me, my weight issue was a symptom of the whole family's dysfunction.

I made small, manageable changes starting around the age of 15: I stopped drinking soda, I started walking/jogging (just became more active). Overtime, the small changes stuck and became big changes.

You listed your age as 20. I'm guessing that you are too young to register for MFP. Check out spark teens. Ask your parents to make an appointment with a counselor to help you get started on a path to clear thinking and goal setting. A goal of "being skinny" will not solve the issue of your thinking that people can't talk to you. Good luck!