Compliments ruining my motivation!

MegRuthie
MegRuthie Posts: 139 Member
edited September 28 in Motivation and Support
Let me preface this by saying that I am NOT complaining. I am the luckiest girl in the world to be surrounded by people who are so loving and supportive.

I don't have many friends that deal with any kind of weight issues. Mostly they're all genetically gifted and tiny. On a daily basis, I don't have anyone to vent to about how my exercise and diet is going. My boyfriend is an amazing person...he likes me exactly the way I am. This is amazing to me for more than a couple of reasons. But now that I've finally committed to losing the 40 pounds I've gained since high school, I tend to lose my motivation when I have a wonderful guy telling me how beautiful I am all the time. I can't comfortably talk about issues with my weight because he doesn't think it is necessary for me to change. He makes me feel great about myself, which is really what I need. But I also need him to not dismiss my efforts just because he thinks I don't need to change. Am I being a brat? I want to be able to talk to him about my frustrations or maybe how good I'm doing without getting the pre-packaged response of "but you're beautiful everyday, babe..."

My real question I guess is this: How do you keep your motivation up when the people around you don't think you need to change?

Replies

  • Jadesmommy2003
    Jadesmommy2003 Posts: 36 Member
    You come to people like us that have the same issues. My husband loves me now just as he did at 260lbs. However, it's no helpful when trying to fix myself for myself... We will motivate you here
  • natoya_j
    natoya_j Posts: 21
    First, I don't think you're being a brat. You have a loving boyfriend who accepts you for you and but doesn't understand your need to change. But just because he loves you doesn't mean he lacks the ability to understand you wanting to make yourself happy. I would say try sitting down with him, explaining to him the reasons you're losing weight. Explain to him that choosing to lose weight doesn't mean you hate yourself but doing it to obtain a better you. If he loves you, he should accept the importance of this change As far as motivating yourself, remind yourself of the reasons. Think about how you would feel if you didn't change. If this change is for you and your health, it should supersede what others think. Learn to be your own cheerleader with weight loss if you lack it from others.
  • 6heatherb6
    6heatherb6 Posts: 469 Member
    I'm the same...10kg here or there and noone notices except me!! So do this for yourself and for your health!! I've lost most of my weight and although it wasn't noticed by anyone else I'm hoping my cholesterol will have lowered..that's what I'm doing this for...health not looks...
    All the best :flowerforyou:
  • SMK715
    SMK715 Posts: 108
    I have the same problem. I confide in my mom and my thin gf for support. They are amazing and they support me every way they know how. However, they both say im fine the way I am. They said that when I started this all, 30 lbs ago. It is what it is. The people that love you, love you for a reason. Appearance, weight in this case, isn't a factor. And to me, that's incredible. The world needs more people like that. But to answer your question - at the end of the day, MY opinion of myself weighs most heavily and I remember im doing this for me so I can be happier with myself and feel more comfortable and confident in myself. That keeps me motivated.
  • dylanco
    dylanco Posts: 15 Member
    Could you tell him you appreciate, and really crave, his positive feedback, and you never want him to stop, and you'd also like him to cheer you on to a 40 pound weight loss, and you'd appreciate him supporting your weight loss by giving you positive feedback for every pound you lose?
  • danahawkins
    danahawkins Posts: 2
    I had the same issue for a long time... the only way I managed to get over it was when we broke up...

    ...not that i'm suggesting you do that...

    ...but it seems that whenever we're thrown back out into the "single world", suddenly we feel like we have to become the best, fittest, sexiest person we can be. There's got to be a way to tap into that while we're still in a relationship. If i'm in a relationship I get no motivation whatsoever from my partner... it has to come entirely from within myself... and I try to remember just how good I feel about myself when I lose weight, have a great workout, or say no to that chocolate cake when everyone else is eating it.
  • MegRuthie
    MegRuthie Posts: 139 Member
    Thanks everyone! I guess I just needed to find a different place to get my reassurance from. I've read so many amazing stories on here and being a part of an online community like this one is helping so much. So I can go ahead and accept those compliments...even if I turn around and type a 3 page rant on here about how frustrated I am with my fitness efforts. Thanks again guys!
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