Are your partners sabotaging you?

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SereneRose
SereneRose Posts: 499 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Am I the only one or are there others out there with partners who forget what we're trying to achieved?

It could be just mine but he's always trying to break me and I'm usually so weak I give in. Saturday night I had chicken, ribs and chips and this morning a hot chocolate and medium fries from mcdonalds (bought me a quarter pounder but I didn't eat it).
I've logged it all in my diary so I can keep track of my mistakes and I know I have to work harder today and eat less to burn what I consumed but I can see this happening again.

We're a couple who are used to eating out quite a bit especially harvester and toby carvery and since starting this diet he's been suggesting it constantly but up until last night I've been able to resist.

So I ask do any of you have this problem and what are your tips for keeping temptation and your suggestive partners at bay?

Replies

  • Kayamooh
    Kayamooh Posts: 45 Member
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    You can still eat out if you do it sensibly!
    Try going once a week, or once a fortnight. A lot of places now have the nutritional information on their websites or in store, so you can choose what you can eat in advance, making sure you're not gonna go over your calories. If you're especially worried, then do some extra exercise that day.

    Restricting yourself (and your partner!) for too long is only gonna make it worse, but if you have it occasionally as a treat, you can enjoy it, and your partner still gets to eat out!
  • GaveUp
    GaveUp Posts: 308
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    I have one of those husbands LOL.... I used to blame him and always gave in but now I just say no unless I want a cheat treat. Its when I get discouraged is when I give in.

    This site really helps me to be accountable and I keep my diary open so it makes me work harder..... now I just say no!!!
    Stay strong girl... my hubby still brings me home treats sometimes but if I don't eat them he stops.
  • lannahgirl
    lannahgirl Posts: 96 Member
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    My husband is the same way, i'm trying ti get him on the ba wagon, he does all the cooking and EVERYTHING he cooks I cannot eat, somothered this and that with gravy, fried chicken, ribs you name it he can cook it, if he's on the fitness with me we all will be great at eating right, so far I have gotten him off of pop so i'm working on him slowly but surely!
  • gemco
    gemco Posts: 129
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    yes i have one of those husbands. it's not malicious, he's not trying to undermine me, he just doesn't take me seriously i don't think. and i take a lot of responsibility for that because its me who says one thing and eats another. he doesn't pin me down, i could (should) just say no. i would rather not have my will power tested quite so frequently though. he can't seem to get out of the habit of buying me chocolate to cheer me up.
  • sloanie1
    sloanie1 Posts: 276 Member
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    This is a good test to see how serous you are about changing your lifestyle, my husband doesnt put on weight therefore eats and drinks everything he wants in front of me, this is just a small part of the journey, learning how to say NO....however I do sympathize as he would NEVER deliberately tempt me....he knows how important this to my health and happiness....stay strong, it is up to you and YOU only.....
  • jessdeweerdt
    jessdeweerdt Posts: 128
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    My husband totally eats out every single day.. his blood pressure is out of control, but he doesn't see it as a problem because he's not overweight. Not only does he constantly ask me to go with him, he gets mad/hurt when I don't want to. He is not ready to change. So I work on being strong. There will always be someone offering me something I don't need. I can say no, I have to say no, and I will say no!
  • calmmomw3minimeez
    calmmomw3minimeez Posts: 499 Member
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    You can still eat out if you do it sensibly!
    Try going once a week, or once a fortnight. A lot of places now have the nutritional information on their websites or in store, so you can choose what you can eat in advance, making sure you're not gonna go over your calories. If you're especially worried, then do some extra exercise that day.

    Restricting yourself (and your partner!) for too long is only gonna make it worse, but if you have it occasionally as a treat, you can enjoy it, and your partner still gets to eat out!

    That's what I do! Once a week, I'll allow myself to eat some takeout. My husband eats takeout often, but he's in pretty good shape and not overweight I guess because he's so active. If he does gain a cpl of lbs, all he has to do is a few crunches, lifts, and mow the lawn or something and his lbs melt off...I guess I'm a little jealous of that fact but I used to accuse him of sabotaging me too but have since learned to use the situation as part of my journey to build my own will power, but I do eat what I want to as long as I know that I'm eating what I should and keeping within my calorie goals, also working out extra if I go over.:happy:
  • swaymyway
    swaymyway Posts: 428 Member
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    I don't think sabotaging is the right word for what he's doing - it's just that it's an adjustment for him as well, if he's used to popping to McDonalds and getting you something, and being rewarded with a happy and thankful wife then that's what he's used to. Similarly if you eat out at certain places together often and suddenly because you've stopped going, he has to as well, it'll take a little getting used to.

    Just try to stay strong, understand it's tricky for him as well and keep reiterating that you are serious about what you are doing :):)
    Good luck!!
  • SereneRose
    SereneRose Posts: 499 Member
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    Lots of good advice here, I'll treat myself to a restaurant meal once every 2 weeks. :)
    Its true it will take some getting used to but wish my will power was not tested so often either, funny thing is he's trying to lose weight also but as its not that much he'll still have quite a bit of take away.

    I know i ts not on purpose but last week he had fried chicken, chips and a burger in the background while I was doing my 30ds after I refused it. I felt proud that night but also sulky that I couldn't have any and smelling it while working out cut me deep. Lol!
  • AngieM76
    AngieM76 Posts: 622 Member
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    My fiancee weighs all of 150lbs and so he always wants to eat the bad stuff. Last night I made him his fav dinner and just did portioin control to stay within my calories. Sometimes it just takes pure willpower and staying focused on what we are trying to achieve. We will all go off the wagon every now and then. Its what you do the next day that counts.
  • joanneeee
    joanneeee Posts: 311 Member
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    At first I thought this said "Are your parents sabotaging you?" and I was thinking YES MY DAD. I don't have a partner but my dad likes to offer me junk food from time to time. I'm guessing he wants to include me or something. I have no problem eating pizza if it's home made or something with lots of fibre but the pizza hut stuff won't sit very well with my stomach.
  • Kayamooh
    Kayamooh Posts: 45 Member
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    My fiancee weighs all of 150lbs and so he always wants to eat the bad stuff. Last night I made him his fav dinner and just did portioin control to stay within my calories. Sometimes it just takes pure willpower and staying focused on what we are trying to achieve. We will all go off the wagon every now and then. Its what you do the next day that counts.

    Portion control is awesome.
    You can eat what you want - just maybe not as much of it as you want. Everything in moderation!
  • jameseylefebure
    jameseylefebure Posts: 234 Member
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    For such a long time I had this problem.

    The thing is me and my husband live with our son and have a housemate to help with the bills etc, but we've lived with him (housemate) for that long he's pretty much like a 2nd parnter for us lol.
    The problem is however - he is a self confessed feeder.

    He never means *any* malive by it, but he's one of *those* people who can literally eat what he wants and never put on weight, Or if he does a week of sit ups and he's got his abs back again (in other words the type of person we all want to poke with something sharp lol). When I very first started activley trying to loose weight he would apparently go out of his way to buy me "treats" for doing so well - he had meant them as genuine treats for dieting but he always got me all the bad food that got me fat in the first place. It took a lot of digging for some resolve as my hubby isn't that interested in weight loss, he needs to loose weight and he'll stick to a diet if i'm cooking it and making him lunchboxes etc but he wasn't that good at resisting temptation and with two people in the house snacking on my favourite munchies I never stood much chance of saying no for very long!! :(

    I did manage to eventually sit him down and talk to him and made sure he realised that he was doing *nothing* wrong and I did appreciate his version of support I would have to politely decline his "treats" unless they fit into my cal's etc. He got a little stroppy about it, but now when he does feel the need to buy me a treat from the shop he always goes for the lowest of low cal crisps lol. So I guess he's trying!

    I think it's hard sometimes for partners/significant others in your life because in a way this is a very personal and very "self" driven journey for so many people that it might make them feel insecure about their own place in the new you's life. I've found that by just being honest and saying that while I do understand what they are trying to do for me I always try and say that yes it might not hurt just having the "one" but in the long run when I'm only allowed 3 sprouts and a bit of dust for my tea because I've gone over my cals for the day that it will hurt lol.
  • simplysara9
    simplysara9 Posts: 521
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    I don't think sabotage would be the right word. My husband knows I am trying to lose weight and supports me 150%. However, he is super skinny and could gain a good 10+ pounds and still be healthy and within the correct weight range. He often suggests we go to certain restaurants or make certain things at home like cookies / cake etc. Sometimes I stop him but sometimes I allow him to bake / cook the foods he wants and I have them in moderation. It's difficult but I don't think he is trying to sabotage me.

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