need to vent

Options
faithNlove212
faithNlove212 Posts: 203 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Yesterday I attended a birthday party for one of my son's friends from school. This was his first friend party, hes 3 years old so it was very exciting for him. I of course didnt know anyone, just a few parents from meeting them from time to time when I drop off and pick up my son from school.

I felt so out of place! I kid you not, I was the only overwieght person there! Everyone must of been under 130lbs and here I am 209lbs. I didnt eat pizza when they served it because I was so embaressed. I felt like if I had the pizza people would stare at me because the fat person in the corner is stuffing her face with junk. My fiance of course could see I felt out of place so he tried his best to cheer me up but deep down I just wanted to cry. :sad:

Afterwards we attended a party at my moms for my stepdads birthday. I was able to calm down and enjoy myself there because I knew everyone. But it made me realize just how much ive let myself go. A few parents asked for my number so they could stay in touch during the summer to get together for playdates. I know I have a good personality, but when it comes to my weight I feel so uncomfortable around these other moms. Especially when there wearing skin tight jeans with heels & tight little tops and here I am wearing sweat pants & tshirts. :grumble:

just needed to vent ...

Replies

  • schaapj2
    schaapj2 Posts: 320 Member
    Options
    I'm sorry you felt so out of place....sometimes using others as our mirror is a huge wake up call I agree. It took one picture at a Christmas party to realize how badly I had let myself go too. But hey, now that you have these women's numbers....pepare to wow them with your new healthy lifestyle and weight loss....who knows....maybe one or two of those women are struggling or have struggled with their weight loss too and would love to help support you (and be supported)! Don't get too down on yourself...everyday is a new and better day and one step closer to your weight and health/fitness goals! Keep up the great work!
  • emsibun
    emsibun Posts: 208
    Options
    :flowerforyou: Sweetheart.

    From my experience of the school yard waiting to collect my kids, playgroups, and kids birthday parties, if other mums asked for your phone number you have NO reason to be worried about what they thought of you. More often than not, if they thought any less of you for your size, those type of mums (and yes they do exist I know) would just not ask you to keep in contact. :smile:

    It sounds like you've made some new friends, and surely that's reason to be positive?
  • rejoice1946
    rejoice1946 Posts: 1
    Options
    Just remember you are loved. You mentioned a fiance. That's wonderful. Also, you know that you are loved by your Heavenly Father.
  • tiffanyquincey
    tiffanyquincey Posts: 107
    Options
    Just try to see it as inspiration. Remind yourself that you are on your way to becoming one of those hot moms!
  • faithNlove212
    faithNlove212 Posts: 203 Member
    Options
    thanks everyone :flowerforyou:
  • PAnn1
    PAnn1 Posts: 530 Member
    Options
    I feel so bad for you and can relate to what you said. I was there..Was... Just 3 1/2 short years ago, 82# ago. Now i am one of the "guests" at the party that you talked about, (minus the heels :-) These were the things that reinforced my determination to stick with this journey to a better me; health attitude, appearance..overall better life for me. My self esteem rose immensley after winning this battle of my sad state. Let this party (and all the other uncomfortable things..including clothes) be the rock for you. You're doing great, already having lost weight. Tell yourself that you will be one of the skinny mom's at the parties (and in those skinny jeans and heels!). If I can do this I know you can, too. The party is behind you. Imagine yourself at a party being the you that you really want to be. Best wishes for a success-filled journey. It'll happen for you as it did for me :-)
  • mbw2586
    mbw2586 Posts: 88
    Options
    I have felt the same way you have described, but I have to say that we are our own worst critic. I remember my mom always telling me as a child that "nobody is paying attention to you" when I was too shy or embarrassed to do something, and I think the same thing applies as an adult with my insecurities with weight! I know that I don't focus on and only think of the size of the people that I'm around, so why do I convince myself that is what others do to me?

    I noticed in your bio that you stated you are a strong, beautiful woman. Be that woman. Be confident that what truly matters is the TYPE of person you are. By staying strong and on your path, you'll be able to see yourself in the light that others already see you in :)
  • mikesovoygirl
    mikesovoygirl Posts: 27
    Options
    Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~Eleanor Roosevelt


    We have to learn to be our own best friends because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies. ~Roderick Thorp, Rainbow Drive

    Confidence can get you where you want to go, and getting there is a daily process. It’s so much easier when you feel good about yourself, your abilities and talents.


    YOU'RE DOING AN EXCELLENT JOB, ONCE YOU START DOING WHAT YOU DID ON YESTERDAY, THEN THAT'S WHEN YOU'LL START DOUBTING YOURSELF & THEN YOU'LL GIVE UP!!!
  • faithNlove212
    faithNlove212 Posts: 203 Member
    Options
    :flowerforyou: your all awesome, thank you
  • Mskbrewington
    Mskbrewington Posts: 13
    Options
    I understand. I felt like that around all my skinny friends when we went to parties in college. I still am uncomfortable eating in front of guys and people I dont really know. But I am 253 lbs and still sexy! I used to watch "What not to wear" on TLC and I was so afraid that some one would embarass me by signing me up as a surprise I changed up my wardrobe. Clinton and Stacy always said "Dress the body you have, not the body you want." If you are comfortable and look good in sweatpants, no problem! But go check out Torrid.com bc we can wear skinny jeans and heels too! xoxo
  • JenKoz4
    JenKoz4 Posts: 37
    Options
    I know exactly how you feel, it wasn't until I got my wedding pictures back that I realized how badly I had let myself go. I'm still not comfortable in my skin going out with groups of friends or doing anything social really. I would much rather hide away in my apartment where I know I won't get those judging looks.
  • calmmomw3minimeez
    calmmomw3minimeez Posts: 499 Member
    Options
    So sorry about how you felt! If it makes you feel any better, I'M THE SAME WAY!!! Although I'm a homeschooling mom, I have avoided going to any of those functions (although I do go to the zoo, restaurants and other places), because I feel out of place in public, not JUST because of my weight, but because I seriously don't have anything too decent to wear to be going out on a regular basis - partly because I can't afford it right now as we're going thru some financial difficulties :cry: and partly because I don't want to just really buy any clothes until I get into better shape...

    it's just one of those things that we go thru during the journey and as long as I am IN THE HOUSE, it doesn't bother me,:ohwell: but I know exactly how you feel with the self-consciousness while out and around other ppl.:frown:

    My husband always tells me that he can't understand why I feel so uncomfortable because we do see ppl that actually weigh more than I do, but it's just a personal thing - like you said, it's always on my mind how I let myself go:grumble: ...I can't even fathom the idea of wearing jeans(hot flashes, ugh!) and tank tops? - Yeah, right:laugh: :laugh:

    ...but anyway I feel that this is just a 'stage' that we have to go thru 'for a time' and that in the near future, our confidence will build as we go along...what I do is literally FORCE myself to leave the house, :noway: and tell myself that I'm just as good as anybody else even if I am overweight and that since I'm not going to STAY overweight, just in case anyone IS looking at me the wrong way, they'll just have to deal with it in silence, 'cause they REALLY don't want to say the wrong thing to my face,:devil: lol

    ...I think it's all in the way that we see ourselves and we have to work on that self-esteem really hard to be able to do some of the simplest things sometimes...if you build yourself up emotionally and keep in mind that YOU ROCK ANYFREAKINGWAY, the self-conscious thingy will subside!!! Hope that helps and good luck on your journey!!:wink:
  • rockthehourglass
    rockthehourglass Posts: 62 Member
    Options
    I understand. I felt like that around all my skinny friends when we went to parties in college. I still am uncomfortable eating in front of guys and people I dont really know. But I am 253 lbs and still sexy! I used to watch "What not to wear" on TLC and I was so afraid that some one would embarass me by signing me up as a surprise I changed up my wardrobe. Clinton and Stacy always said "Dress the body you have, not the body you want." If you are comfortable and look good in sweatpants, no problem! But go check out Torrid.com bc we can wear skinny jeans and heels too! xoxo

    YES! I always feel much better when I'm dressed nicely. It's annoying to spend money on clothes that will eventually be too big, but it's so important to feel like I'm worth it. And listen, I AM one of the hot moms, no matter what I weigh, and you are too!! :)

Categories