What am I doing wrong?

Mallybear2020
Mallybear2020 Posts: 82 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I'm 5'2 and currently 127lbs. My goal weight is 100lbs.
My concern is will it be worth it? I'm a pear shape and it was back in June I had even gotten down to 123lbs and still didn't like the way I looked; so I gave up.
So should I try to get down to 100 or even 110...will I look any better?
I am on a low carb diet, high fat and moderate protein. I do HIIT workouts, biking and weight lifting.
What am I not doing right? I want to be healthy-thin. But I fear I'll still look like a fat dump at a lower weight.

Replies

  • janejellyroll
    janejellyroll Posts: 25,763 Member
    edited November 2015
    It sounds like you have a lot of negative emotions around yourself.

    I think what you're doing wrong is letting your fears about the future impact the way that you act today. What's the worst that could happen? You get to 110 and you don't like the way you look? Then you can gain the weight back if you prefer. I'm a bit taller than you and I saw a big difference between 120 and 111 (my current weight). Concluding that you won't like 110 seems premature. Why are you stressing so much about a future that may not even happen (hating the way you look at 110)?

    Are you aware that your goal weight of 100 would be medically underweight? You may want to examine if your expectations are realistic.
  • vespiquenn
    vespiquenn Posts: 1,455 Member
    Judging on your previous posts recently, you need to seek out a professional that specializes in disordered eating. Judging from your posts, you go from one extreme to another, which isn't healthy. Add on this negative view of yourself and it's a set up for some serious eating disorders.
  • strong_curves
    strong_curves Posts: 2,229 Member
    edited November 2015
    Do you follow a weight lifting program like strong lifts, new rules of lifting for women, etc? How long have you been doing your weight lifting? Whats your calorie goal? Do you log your food? Also this thread might help you:

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/113609/relatively-light-people-trying-to-get-leaner/p1
  • Mallybear2020
    Mallybear2020 Posts: 82 Member
    @vespiquenn This may seem weird, but I'm too lazy to get into any kind of serious eating disorder. I binge with the mindset of 'I don't care' and that's as far as it goes.
  • Mallybear2020
    Mallybear2020 Posts: 82 Member
    Does being 100lbs mean I'm not eating/not healthy? No. Again this is media shaming and all in our heads.
  • Duchy82
    Duchy82 Posts: 560 Member
    You will always be a pear shape whether you are 100lbs or 123lbs, no amount of weight loss or exercise will change that, its genetics. So maybe learn to embrace your shape and work with it, there are loads of cute clothes that can balance out the top and enhance the tiny waist that comes with being a pear.
  • jdleanna
    jdleanna Posts: 141 Member
    Mallybear2020 wrote: »
    Does being 100lbs mean I'm not eating/not healthy? No. Again this is media shaming and all in our heads.

    You're aiming for a goal that is underweight by medical standards. But you say the medical guidelines are just "Media shaming and all in our heads"?
  • WendyLaubach
    WendyLaubach Posts: 518 Member
    If you're slender and fit and have good muscle tone, what's "pear-shaped" got to do with it? You'll look great. I don't see why 110 or 100 lbs. would be bad for someone of your height. When I was slender and in my 20s I was 5'5-1/2" and 115 lbs--strong and definitely not underweight. I'd be thrilled to get there again. I wish you could trust us enough to show us a real picture, because someone has been doing a number on your head.
  • Mallybear2020
    Mallybear2020 Posts: 82 Member
    @jdleanna Aiming? Not at all. If I can be 100lbs, 110, 115...whatever and workout+eat properly. Then it'll just be a number. A lot is wrong by medical standards, and a lot is right.
  • Mallybear2020
    Mallybear2020 Posts: 82 Member
    Plus, the one thing I do have going for me is the fact I have A LOT of muscle. My body's got potential, I just have issues getting there :)
  • kami3006
    kami3006 Posts: 4,979 Member
    Mallybear2020 wrote: »
    @vespiquenn This may seem weird, but I'm too lazy to get into any kind of serious eating disorder. I binge with the mindset of 'I don't care' and that's as far as it goes.

    That still qualifies as disordered eating. Your posts are distinct indicators of body issues and a need for professional intervention. I don't believe you'll be happy at any weight until you're treated for the underlying issues. There's strength in asking for help.
  • Mallybear2020
    Mallybear2020 Posts: 82 Member
    @kami3006 I disagree that I'll be unhappy at any weight. I'm going to give myself a better chance to eat better and not care what negative people I have in my life. I'm doing this for me after all.
    I'll get down to 115 again, and should be happy.

    I think I've come across as way too self loathing.
  • kami3006
    kami3006 Posts: 4,979 Member
    Mallybear2020 wrote: »
    @kami3006 I disagree that I'll be unhappy at any weight. I'm going to give myself a better chance to eat better and not care what negative people I have in my life. I'm doing this for me after all.
    I'll get down to 115 again, and should be happy.

    I think I've come across as way too self loathing.

    I wish you the best!
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    Mallybear2020 wrote: »
    @kami3006 I disagree that I'll be unhappy at any weight. I'm going to give myself a better chance to eat better and not care what negative people I have in my life. I'm doing this for me after all.
    I'll get down to 115 again, and should be happy.

    I think I've come across as way too self loathing.

    Yeah you have.. your profile pic is sad :disappointed:

  • vespiquenn
    vespiquenn Posts: 1,455 Member
    christinev297 wrote: »
    Mallybear2020 wrote: »
    @kami3006 I disagree that I'll be unhappy at any weight. I'm going to give myself a better chance to eat better and not care what negative people I have in my life. I'm doing this for me after all.
    I'll get down to 115 again, and should be happy.

    I think I've come across as way too self loathing.

    Yeah you have.. your profile pic is sad :disappointed:

    "Plus another good point for me to make is that I plain just hate my body. No matter how hard I work it just doesn't seem to make me look any better."

    This came from your thread in Motivation and Support. So yes, I stand by my point that you need professional help to work on your view of yourself and food. Until then, not too many people are willing to help unless you help yourself by seeking out a professional.
  • Mallybear2020
    Mallybear2020 Posts: 82 Member
    @vespiquenn Call it a complex relationship with myself. I'm trying to make myself better either way.
    Oh btw, I looooooove your hair!!
  • Debbie_Ferr
    Debbie_Ferr Posts: 582 Member
    Mallybear2020 wrote: »
    Currently 127lbs. My goal weight is 100lbs. My concern is will it be worth it?

    I'm a pear shape ...... gotten down to 123lbs and still didn't like the way I looked.

    So should I try to get down to 100 or even 110...will I look any better?

    *******************************
    You say:
    I disagree that I'll be unhappy at any weight.

    Then you say:
    I fear I'll still look like a fat dump at a lower weight.

    *******************************

    You say:
    Aiming? Not at all...... Then it'll just be a number.

    Then you say:
    I'll get down to 115 again, and should be happy.

    In these discussion boards, sometimes we feel we're being scrutinized & need to defend every comment with a counter-comment.

    Everything evolves into a debate.
    Perhaps START OUT FRESH:
    Re-evaluate what your priorities & your goals & yourfuture actions are.

    *******************************

    Maybe you & have a similar journey ....
    I'm 5'2", 57 years, 120 lbs. definetely pear-shape, which I never quite 'embraced'.
    Until 3 years ago, I never "dieted" nor watched my weight.
    Ate what I liked, naturally gravitated to healthy food (thank goodness).

    100-108 in High school. 31" 24" 34"
    95 20s (stressful unhealthy relationship)
    110-125 30s (which was fine)
    125-130 40s
    139.5 Mid 50s! eeks! my highest weight. (menopause & ate wayyyy to many almonds .lol )
    120 lost 20 pounds with MFP. YIPEE !

    I never liked my pear shape. Wanted more boobs, longer legs.
    yeah, right, like that's going to happen !! :)

    after losing the 20 pounds, I did like the new me, with thinner legs and flatter stomach.
    then started focusing on the pear-shape thing again.... and my wider hips.

    I WILL ALWAYS BE PEAR SHAPE

    **********************************
    I realize the 120 pound "new me in my 50s" was not the same 120 pound me "from my 30s".


    And I can't change:
    Can't change my sloping shoulders bones.
    Can't change my boobs (except naturally bigger with weight gain, smaller with weight loss)
    Can't change my bone structure of wide hips.
    Can't change from pear-shape to a non pear-shape body.

    I WILL ALWAYS BE PEAR SHAPE

    As I get older, my body COMPOSITION has naturally shifted.
    Less muscle mass.
    Less toned muscle.
    More fat mass.
    and of course~ my weight tends to sneak up.

    So now I focus on :wink:

    Muscle ~ try to gain / maintain.
    Try to keep my body reasonably toned.
    Fat ~ try to keep it reasonably low.

    **********************************
    Bottom line:

    I WILL ALWAYS BE PEAR SHAPE.
    I WILL ALWAYS BE PEAR SHAPE.

    But there is so much more to me, then my pear shape !


    **********************************

    Wish you the best, in what ever body composition you choose.
  • Psychgrrl
    Psychgrrl Posts: 3,177 Member
    Your current weight at your stated height has you at a healthy weight. Your BMI at 100 pounds would be slightly underweight. How'd you settle on 100 pounds as your goal when you're already at a healthy BMI? What are your health and fitness goals? It's not all about the weight--there are many other markers of health and fitness.
  • Debbie_Ferr
    Debbie_Ferr Posts: 582 Member
    Mallybear2020 , I love your new profile pic !! :)
    you go, girl !
  • Mallybear2020
    Mallybear2020 Posts: 82 Member
    @Debbie_Ferr
    Thank you, Debbie. I really liked what you had to say. You made me feel more comfortable.
  • Mallybear2020
    Mallybear2020 Posts: 82 Member
    I'll do another post later on talking about my progress. Both mentally and physically.
  • Debbie_Ferr
    Debbie_Ferr Posts: 582 Member


    Per http://weightloss.about.com/od/exercis1/a/What-Is-Body-Composition.htm

    "You can't change the part of your body that is bones, tissues and organs.
    You can change the RATIO of fat to muscle with good training and proper diet.
    Lean muscle mass burns more calories than fat, shapes your figure, and helps your body to function more efficiently throughout your daily activities."

    "For many people, getting on the scale is difficult.
    But if you focus on body composition, the struggle can be a little bit more tolerable.
    Weight can fluctuate from day to day, but if you set a goal based on creating muscle and building a lean frame, you’ll ensure better results in the long run."
  • Debbie_Ferr
    Debbie_Ferr Posts: 582 Member
    There's sooo many more victories/defeats than "the number on the scale".
    Much of life is all about what we chose to focus on, and the actions we chose to do.
    btw ~ choosing "no action" IS actually an action, in my book.

    Have you heard of non-scale victories, ie NSV ?

    Mallybear2020, make it your goal AND your "action item" to post to this link a minimum of twice a week.
    You'll be amazed at how your mind-set will shift .
    Read thru the other postings, for some really positive energy ! :)

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1275030/whats-your-most-recent-nsv#latest


    Wishing you the best, in the actions you choose.
  • Debbie_Ferr
    Debbie_Ferr Posts: 582 Member
    another great link. It's on gratitude :


    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10003600/daily-gratitudes-and-accomplishments#latest
  • pineygirl
    pineygirl Posts: 322 Member
    I used to really want to be 100 lbs or under. I'm 5'1 and currently 122lbs. I had my DS almost 16 months ago and I was 115lbs when I got pregant with him. I'm still trying to lose some of the baby weight I put on with him. Plus the breastfeeding weight that just didn't budge. My goal is 115lbs before I TTC again.

    Anyway...when I was here 3 years ago I was really struggling to be 100lbs. I did get down to 108bs and I realized something. I'm not supposed to be 100lbs.

    Even though I'm petite I have a pretty large frame. It doesn't make much sense...but I'm sort of large boned. My wrists and ankles are pretty large for a small women...well maybe not quite large ...not small. I'm not dainty or small boned. I wear a size large in gloves because my hands are big. I'm also sort of muscular.

    100lbs isn't a magic weight for women our size. I look best at around 111 to 114lbs. 100lbs is actually underweight unless you have a very small frame.
  • PinkPixiexox
    PinkPixiexox Posts: 4,142 Member
    OP, My personal advice to you would be - forget the number on the scale.

    I am also 5 ft 2 and I am 121 lbs. My 'dream' was to be around 110. Now I'm at 121, I've come to realise that I actually can't eat as much as I'd like to eat being this size! If I got down to 110, the amount of food I'd be able to eat to maintain would decrease significantly and I don't want to be a size that is ultimately very very difficult to maintain. I want to be able to live my life still! Also - 110 is quite small. I want to be strong and fighting fit. 110 lbs isn't realistic for me in that sense either. I need the extra 10 lbs to lift my desired weights and achieve that strong, lean look. You're at a great weight. The scale isn't important now.

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