Weightloss changing your mind about getting pregnant?
kkaiser431
Posts: 7 Member
I've been begging my husband for a 3rd baby for almost a year now. (My youngest is 1 haha) He finally agreed to it if I lose at least 40 lbs because my last pregnancy was miserable. I had PSD and could hardly move. Right now I'm working to that goal and then some, but my question is..
for those that were wanting a baby and lost the weight... did you change your mind on another one? Like--did you think "It took me so long to get where I am, I don't want to have to start all over again"?
Anybody that would like to add me, too.. I'm going to need all the motivation I can get..baby or no baby haha.
for those that were wanting a baby and lost the weight... did you change your mind on another one? Like--did you think "It took me so long to get where I am, I don't want to have to start all over again"?
Anybody that would like to add me, too.. I'm going to need all the motivation I can get..baby or no baby haha.
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Replies
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kkaiser431 wrote: »I've been begging my husband for a 3rd baby for almost a year now. (My youngest is 1 haha) He finally agreed to it if I lose at least 40 lbs because my last pregnancy was miserable. I had PSD and could hardly move. Right now I'm working to that goal and then some, but my question is..
for those that were wanting a baby and lost the weight... did you change your mind on another one? Like--did you think "It took me so long to get where I am, I don't want to have to start all over again"?
Anybody that would like to add me, too.. I'm going to need all the motivation I can get..baby or no baby haha.
this is how i feel, but i have no kids yet. i feel like once i finally get to where i want to be it will be time to start having babies.. some people may think that it sounds selfish, but it does cross my mind often.0 -
I want to have kids so bad. It's always been a dream. But yeah..it's definitely crossed my mind. I'm working so hard, my body is finally feeling like mine. I don't know if I'm ready to start sharing it with someone else!0
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kkaiser431 wrote: »I've been begging my husband for a 3rd baby for almost a year now. (My youngest is 1 haha) He finally agreed to it if I lose at least 40 lbs because my last pregnancy was miserable. I had PSD and could hardly move. Right now I'm working to that goal and then some, but my question is..
for those that were wanting a baby and lost the weight... did you change your mind on another one? Like--did you think "It took me so long to get where I am, I don't want to have to start all over again"?
Anybody that would like to add me, too.. I'm going to need all the motivation I can get..baby or no baby haha.
this is how i feel, but i have no kids yet. i feel like once i finally get to where i want to be it will be time to start having babies.. some people may think that it sounds selfish, but it does cross my mind often.
It's not selfish...it's your body!!
I think it's what my husband is hoping for once I lose the weight haha.0 -
TakingBackForever wrote: »I want to have kids so bad. It's always been a dream. But yeah..it's definitely crossed my mind. I'm working so hard, my body is finally feeling like mine. I don't know if I'm ready to start sharing it with someone else!
You can always adopt!0 -
I'm torn about it, since we're about to start TTC for #2. I gained only a moderate about during my first pregnancy, but I struggled to lose the last 10 with nursing and then having my gallbladder out. Still, eating healthy food and exercising daily are as good for pregnancy as for weightloss, so I don't really want to wait to TTC. I'll be going hard until the stick turns blue, LOL!0
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I have this thought often! I have a 2 year old and a 9 month old and I always thought I would have more eventually, but now that I am losing weight and starting to feel the best I have in years, I am actually doubting whether I will have more or not. I had rough pregnancies with both and it was so hard on my body, but to feel like ME again is pretty amazing. We aren't going to talk about it until our youngest is closer to 3 so we still have time, but I definitely think about it!0
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kkaiser431 wrote: »I've been begging my husband for a 3rd baby for almost a year now. (My youngest is 1 haha) He finally agreed to it if I lose at least 40 lbs because my last pregnancy was miserable. I had PSD and could hardly move. Right now I'm working to that goal and then some, but my question is..
for those that were wanting a baby and lost the weight... did you change your mind on another one? Like--did you think "It took me so long to get where I am, I don't want to have to start all over again"?
Anybody that would like to add me, too.. I'm going to need all the motivation I can get..baby or no baby haha.
No, I never changed my mind. I started at 211 lbs (and I'm 5'2). My husband agreed that if I got down to 155 lbs we could try for a 2nd child. Well I did it and conceived the first month trying. Not once did I change my mind. I had it in mind that I would continue logging even after conceiving to help me gain a healthy amount of weight for pregnancy, which I also did. Then after delivery I kept logging to lose my pregnancy weight and to make sure I maintained my milk supply. I've also been slowly working toward my ultimate goal weight, which I'm about 25 lbs from. My baby will be 11 months old on the 15th and I'm 18 lbs below my 155 lbs baby-making goal (lol).
I guess my point is that it's a constantly evolving process. Don't throw everything out the window just because you get pregnant. Shift your goals a bit and then after delivery, change them again! Nothing has to be set in stone and your goals don't have to remain the same.
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It's actually made me wants kids less! I'm as slim as I've ever been in my adult life and I've still got a way to go before reaching my target, I'm finally getting to where I want to be and want to be free to enjoy my body with no complications for a few years. I hope that when I get to my goal I will finally feel comfortable in my own skin and can enjoy going to the beach, getting dressed up to go out etc. So I want to have fun for a while before adding any responsibility in to my life. Plus I don't know what pregnancy will do to my body and don't want to risk losing my progress when it's taken me so long to get where I am now.0
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My daughter is 8, but I gained about 70lbs with her (and I'm a shorty!), and it took me exactly one year to take it off. I remarried recently and we're not necessarily TTC, but we're not really preventing it either.
It was difficult to see my body change and have it "rented" for a while, particularly with body image issues. I had an ED-NOS team last time, but instead of me not eating enough, I gained entirely too much.
I'm afraid that I will struggle with balance. I don't want a repeat of the weight gain, but I don't want to be unhealthy and not eat enough. It sucks to have these issues. I REALLY love being a mom, but I'm not crazy about the pregnant part, lol!0 -
kkaiser431 wrote: »I've been begging my husband for a 3rd baby for almost a year now. (My youngest is 1 haha) He finally agreed to it if I lose at least 40 lbs because my last pregnancy was miserable. I had PSD and could hardly move. Right now I'm working to that goal and then some, but my question is..
for those that were wanting a baby and lost the weight... did you change your mind on another one? Like--did you think "It took me so long to get where I am, I don't want to have to start all over again"?
Anybody that would like to add me, too.. I'm going to need all the motivation I can get..baby or no baby haha.
No because I never let my weight determine if I want a family or not.
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If you're going to lose weight, do it for YOU. Not hubby or to have a baby. Sorry to sound harsh, but if my husband told me he'd only bring another life into this world with me if the scale hit a certain number first, that would show me he doesn't want or need another kid right now anyways. But anyway, I lost over 60 pounds before, I got almost halfway to my goal, and got pregnant with my second. I did gain all the weight back plus some during pregnancy unfortunately. I didn't jump right back on he weight loss train after having my son like I thought I would and I used breastfeeding as an excuse to eat everything. So here I am again, starting over again. So I understand your concern. But I couldn't imagine not having the children I do, because I had decided to wait until I was thinner. We're done having kids, but if we really wanted another, we just would, there would be no temptation to wait until we were thinner. Losing weight takes time, time makes you older.0
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Years ago I already had three kids and was done having babies. I had lost almost 50 pounds and my last one was out of diapers. Then I found out I was pregnant with our little surprise baby and I will admit, I cried. My husband was thrilled but it took me a little while to come to grips with it. I was bummed because I had lost all that weight but also because I had thought I was done dealing with baby stuff, diapers and the loss of the freedom I'd gained with my son being four and much more independent. But then I heard that little heartbeat and I was smitten. Now it's roughly 12 years later and I wouldn't trade that little girl for the most smoking hot body in the universe! I lost and regained weight over the years since (I've been doing the "20 pound cha-cha"!) But she's been constant gift.
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Your husband is kind of a dick.0
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I have a similar set of questions for myself -- so far my husband's actually opposed to the third baby, and so part of my current effort is about getting back to my pre-baby weight, but if he changed his mind tomorrow, I'd have mixed feelings. I do like my body at its slimmer weight, and pregnancy absolutely made me unhappy on a lot of fronts.
(Truthfully, though, I'd go for the third kid anyway and just try not to gain too much; I know how to take off pounds and how to eat more healthfully now. It's keeping the pounds off that's the real challenge.)0 -
I started my weight loss journey 16 years ago, during that time, I've lost after each pregnancy, always getting just a bit lower each time. My heaviest was 270. It was wonderful to see myself get healthier each pregnancy and I ended up with less weight related complications each time. In the end it's up to you, but honestly, I don't regret the babies we had.0
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I've never looked better than when I was pregnant as far as I'm concerned. It's the only time I've looked remotely proportionate. My son sucked the fat out of my arms and thighs and butt and legs right into my breasts and stomach so I just looked like a normal sized person that happened to be pregnant. AND I lost 30 lbs in like 2 months breastfeeding, zero effort on my part. (It's taken me 3 months of CICO to lose 20 so far...)
Yeah, I'd do it again in a tiny tiny heartbeat;)
ETA: When I say I lost 30 lbs breastfeeding, I mean I lost 30 lbs. Not I gave birth, so baby weight placenta and amniotic fluid loss. I'm not counting 19 lbs of that stuff. The 30 I lost was all me. (189 to 170 in the month following birth (Aug 28, 13), then 170 to 140 by December 2014)0 -
_dracarys_ wrote: »Your husband is kind of a.
Why? Because he has concerns about her weight and dealing with a pregnancy, and is worried about her health?
Would you think the same way if the OP had high blood pressure and he was concerned about her being pregnant and having complications?0 -
_dracarys_ wrote: »Your husband is kind of a.
Why? Because he has concerns about her weight and dealing with a pregnancy, and is worried about her health?
Would you think the same way if the OP had high blood pressure and he was concerned about her being pregnant and having complications?
No, because he's dangling her want of a child in front of her like a carrot. "You can have this only if you do what I say to do." I don't get motivated to change anything because someone else told me to. If you all do, great.
Get healthy for you, OP. Not because your man told you to in order for him to participate in making a baby.0 -
_dracarys_ wrote: »_dracarys_ wrote: »Your husband is kind of a.
Why? Because he has concerns about her weight and dealing with a pregnancy, and is worried about her health?
Would you think the same way if the OP had high blood pressure and he was concerned about her being pregnant and having complications?
No, because he's dangling her want of a child in front of her like a carrot. "You can have this only if you do what I say to do." I don't get motivated to change anything because someone else told me to. If you all do, great.
Get healthy for you, OP. Not because your man told you to in order for him to participate in making a baby.
Except she never said that is what he said. She said:He finally agreed to it if I lose at least 40 lbs because my last pregnancy was miserable.
Basically he seems to be more concerned about health, which is a completely legitimate concern.0 -
My moto is that I'm getting skinny to get fat! Seriously, the more weight I lose and the more in shape I get, the more that I am excited to gain it with a baby. I'm doing this for me, and to help lesson risks in pregnancy. It is what helps keep me motivated to do this. That's me though. You are in a different situation and may need to take a step back, take some time, and decide what you want. Whatever decision you come to, I wish you all the luck and health in the world.
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_dracarys_ wrote: »_dracarys_ wrote: »Your husband is kind of a.
Why? Because he has concerns about her weight and dealing with a pregnancy, and is worried about her health?
Would you think the same way if the OP had high blood pressure and he was concerned about her being pregnant and having complications?
No, because he's dangling her want of a child in front of her like a carrot. "You can have this only if you do what I say to do." I don't get motivated to change anything because someone else told me to. If you all do, great.
Get healthy for you, OP. Not because your man told you to in order for him to participate in making a baby.
Except she never said that is what he said. She said:He finally agreed to it if I lose at least 40 lbs because my last pregnancy was miserable.
Basically he seems to be more concerned about health, which is a completely legitimate concern.
that was my take away. overweight and pregnant often result in other complicating issues. i see doctors recommend weight loss before pregnancy to a lot of women as well...0 -
40 lbs. not "morbidly obese to just over weight" or a number that would cause big health concerns while pregnant. 40 lbs That's a carrot dangle, not health concerns.0
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dalielahdawn wrote: »40 lbs. not "morbidly obese to just over weight" or a number that would cause big health concerns while pregnant. 40 lbs That's a carrot dangle, not health concerns.
She clearly said that her last pregnancy did have issues and her weight played a part in it, so no, it is not just "dangling a carrot". Weight can have a major impact on pregnancy related issues.0 -
kkaiser431 wrote: »I've been begging my husband for a 3rd baby for almost a year now. (My youngest is 1 haha) He finally agreed to it if I lose at least 40 lbs because my last pregnancy was miserable. I had PSD and could hardly move. Right now I'm working to that goal and then some, but my question is..
for those that were wanting a baby and lost the weight... did you change your mind on another one? Like--did you think "It took me so long to get where I am, I don't want to have to start all over again"?
Anybody that would like to add me, too.. I'm going to need all the motivation I can get..baby or no baby haha.
I'm kind of opposite. Dh and I decided no more kids after dd was born and he had a vasectomy. She is a teenager now. I feel now that I am finally getting to a healthier weight and know how to handle food better that I could handle a pregnancy weight gain and post pregnancy weight loss better. Still don't want more kids but not because of weight.
I think it is good to get to a healthy weight before ttc especially if you have had problems in the past.0 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »_dracarys_ wrote: »_dracarys_ wrote: »Your husband is kind of a.
Why? Because he has concerns about her weight and dealing with a pregnancy, and is worried about her health?
Would you think the same way if the OP had high blood pressure and he was concerned about her being pregnant and having complications?
No, because he's dangling her want of a child in front of her like a carrot. "You can have this only if you do what I say to do." I don't get motivated to change anything because someone else told me to. If you all do, great.
Get healthy for you, OP. Not because your man told you to in order for him to participate in making a baby.
Except she never said that is what he said. She said:He finally agreed to it if I lose at least 40 lbs because my last pregnancy was miserable.
Basically he seems to be more concerned about health, which is a completely legitimate concern.
that was my take away. overweight and pregnant often result in other complicating issues. i see doctors recommend weight loss before pregnancy to a lot of women as well...
This was my take as well.
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LovingLife_Erin wrote: »My moto is that I'm getting skinny to get fat! Seriously, the more weight I lose and the more in shape I get, the more that I am excited to gain it with a baby. I'm doing this for me, and to help lesson risks in pregnancy. It is what helps keep me motivated to do this. That's me though. You are in a different situation and may need to take a step back, take some time, and decide what you want. Whatever decision you come to, I wish you all the luck and health in the world.
This is my approach too. While it would be nice to get to goal weight before pregnancy, I'm at the top end of normal and in the immortal words of Spongebob "I'm READY".0 -
Wow, first of all thank you for those who are supportive! Secondly.. my husband is not a dick and I am not losing weight on his terms. He is concerned for my health because he watched me cry, had to pick me up off couches, chairs, our bed and the floor and barely be able to move the last 4 months of my last pregnancy...because of Pubis Symphysis Disfunction(which is cause, in part, by being overweight). I am not just 40lbs overweight..that's the point where he would feel comfortable with starting to try again. I'm nearly 100lbs overweight. Morbidly obese, according to charts.
I had a friend mention to me how I may change my mind once I've lost the weight because it's been such a struggle to lose... I was just curious if other people had thought the same thing. I didn't need comments about my husband or whether or not I'm doing this for myself...
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I, for a brief moment contemplated having more children after my twins but because I am still nursing(they will be 2 in Feb), and it has taken nearly 2 years to get back to my pre pregnancy weight, it's a no for me. I was pretty fit but wasn't at my ideal weight prior to pregnancy (size 10). This time around I want to get to a 6 which is roughly about 20 lbs away. So anyway, I just want my body back so bad! No pregnancy and no nursing...lol But good luck to all you ladies ttc!!!!0
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wendymoira wrote: »I have a similar set of questions for myself -- so far my husband's actually opposed to the third baby, and so part of my current effort is about getting back to my pre-baby weight, but if he changed his mind tomorrow, I'd have mixed feelings. I do like my body at its slimmer weight, and pregnancy absolutely made me unhappy on a lot of fronts.
(Truthfully, though, I'd go for the third kid anyway and just try not to gain too much; I know how to take off pounds and how to eat more healthfully now. It's keeping the pounds off that's the real challenge.)
My husband is opposed as well.. or...was haha. He's coming around. Like you said, though. Even if he said lets try next month.. I know what I went through my last pregnancy. Healthy comes first!0 -
I have this thought often! I have a 2 year old and a 9 month old and I always thought I would have more eventually, but now that I am losing weight and starting to feel the best I have in years, I am actually doubting whether I will have more or not. I had rough pregnancies with both and it was so hard on my body, but to feel like ME again is pretty amazing. We aren't going to talk about it until our youngest is closer to 3 so we still have time, but I definitely think about it!
That's the one thing I am so looking forward to...feeling like ME again..I miss me LOL.0
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