Marrying into military spiked weight gain

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AndreaA0694
AndreaA0694 Posts: 5 Member
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My husband is in the military so we moved far away from all my family and friends. I am a college student and I am working while caring for my three dogs. My husband works about 80+hrs per week so I barely ever see him. I gained weight super fast from all the depression, stress, anxiety, and loneliness. I've started to overcome those feelings and am searching for motivation and hoping to get back to a healthier lifestyle. I'd love to lose 70lbs before Spring of 2017. This is the heaviest I have ever been and I feel so uncomfortable and out of shape. I can barely run a mile without feeling like I'm going to die. I want to be able to have tons of energy and feel great in my own skin. My husband says he loves me no matter what and thinks I'm beautiful but I don't feel beautiful. We always say we should stay healthy so that we can live longer happier lives together so that's how we try to motivate each other. But since he's never here I really struggle with motivating myself and forcing myself to be active. Is anyone else dealing with this?

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  • disturbedlusha
    disturbedlusha Posts: 19 Member
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    Hi there. Yes I feel the same and have piled on the weight since moving to my husbands home land germany... I left behind all my family and friends and thought it surely won't be too hard to make friends but I was soo wrong. I have been here a few years and have zero friends, I try so hard and I'm nice to all. I am naturally kind and friendly but it doesn't work here, I have toddlers so I thought kindy mothers might give me a chance and that's a big nope too, I feel that my appearance plays a big role in it because of my weight and *cough* skin colour*. It's rediculous and so depressing and I am literally all alone with my toddlers. I'm wanting to lose 100 + lbs and gain support and friends here as I have had no luck here in germany sadly.
  • ammo7
    ammo7 Posts: 188 Member
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    Hi there,
    It's great that you're overcoming your feelings of depression, stress, anxiety and loneliness - already, that is such a huge step you are making in the right direction, for improving your health and your life.

    Especially if you already feel stressed, it can be overwhelming to make a tonne of lifestyle changes at once. Something I found helpful initially was to focus on my food intake, before I incorporated a lot of physical activity into my life.

    Since weight loss happens when we consume less energy than our body burns, we can lose weight just from eating at a caloric deficit, even if we aren't very physically active. Your reasons for wanting to get healthy are great, so maybe once you start seeing results from eating less, you will be even more motivated to improve your life by adding exercise (also, I found that losing some weight first really helped me with feeling more comfortable exercising!)

    Since you feel lonely and don't have much time with your husband, I bet it would be awesome if you guys went for short walks together when you have a chance. A great way to hang out and spend some time together, it won't even feel like you're forcing yourself to be active - it could become something that you really look forward to. PS: it sounds like you've got a great guy for loving and supporting you no matter what!
  • xquiickx
    xquiickx Posts: 41 Member
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    Sorry to hear about all the struggles you're going through, but believe me, it's not as abnormal as you might think. I've been in the Air Force for the past 9 years and there are plenty of long hours that take some time adjusting to.

    At least you are putting in the effort to try to change. Doing it on your own is tough. Have you thought about talking with other military wives around the base or like his coworkers wives? Plenty of spouses stay at home and I know quite a few that form their own fitness groups.
  • AndreaA0694
    AndreaA0694 Posts: 5 Member
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    Thanks for the advice and extra motivation. I'm glad I'm not the only one and others can relate. Makes me feel like there's hope.

  • AndreaA0694
    AndreaA0694 Posts: 5 Member
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    I found a Facebook page for the ship my husband is on and most of the navy wives have really little babies and have a hard time finding time to get out of the house. I had one friend and she just had a baby and then broke her foot so she's immobile for the next two months. I just meet another navy wife who's baby is a bit bigger now so she and I talked about possible working out together. I've felt better this past two months since I've had a lot of family visits for holidays and meet some new people. It's hard to be social and meet new people because everyone's on different schedules and in different areas but It's starting to feel like home to me now that I've made a few friends and bought a house.
  • xquiickx
    xquiickx Posts: 41 Member
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    That's good to hear! At least you have a start. Now you just have to turn the talking with your friend into action. You don't even have to start going all crazy about fitness. Perhaps just start by going on walks together. Start small and build up. Then, when you get more energy, turn it either into a brisker walk or a light job. Nothing will happen quick. As long as you watch what you eat as well as portion size, the weight will come off.
  • NotGuiltylawyer
    NotGuiltylawyer Posts: 39 Member
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    I am also a military wife, married into the military 2 months ago. My hubby is on tasking right now, haven't seen him in a month. Boy, do I ever understand your situation! It's hard. A year ago, I weighed over 200 pounds, didn't have any energy, smoked a pack of smokes per day, had no friends, and felt like a fat cow. The past year, I decided to take care of myself, exercise, quit smoking, started cooking healthy foods, get massages every month. Made a point to stick to this new way of life, for 1 year. I had my ups and downs for sure. But I lost almost 40 pounds, am smoke free, married my military man and I feel so much better. Still don't have a huge social life tho :P Add me, we can support each other :)
  • DoctahJenn
    DoctahJenn Posts: 616 Member
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    I'm an Army wife of ten years this month. We've been through deployments, and training, and all sorts of nonsense, so I totally get it. His very first deployment, he was gone for 15 months. It's not easy! But the thing that helped me the most was taking a martial arts class. It allowed me to interact with other people a few times a week, and working out kept me healthy. It doesn't have to be martial arts - any sort of fitness class is good. But the nice thing about martial arts is that you're directly interacting with other people instead of just standing among them and working out. You'd be amazed the change even a little touch can make on your mood... even when that touch is someone grabbing you so you can practice breaking free. ;) Plus, knowing how to defend myself helped my husband not to worry about me so much when he was gone.
  • AndreaA0694
    AndreaA0694 Posts: 5 Member
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    That's a good idea. I'll have to look into some classes.

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