Weightloss changing your mind about getting pregnant?
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_dracarys_ wrote: »_dracarys_ wrote: »Your husband is kind of a.
Why? Because he has concerns about her weight and dealing with a pregnancy, and is worried about her health?
Would you think the same way if the OP had high blood pressure and he was concerned about her being pregnant and having complications?
No, because he's dangling her want of a child in front of her like a carrot. "You can have this only if you do what I say to do." I don't get motivated to change anything because someone else told me to. If you all do, great.
Get healthy for you, OP. Not because your man told you to in order for him to participate in making a baby.
Except she never said that is what he said. She said:He finally agreed to it if I lose at least 40 lbs because my last pregnancy was miserable.
Basically he seems to be more concerned about health, which is a completely legitimate concern.
that was my take away. overweight and pregnant often result in other complicating issues. i see doctors recommend weight loss before pregnancy to a lot of women as well...0 -
40 lbs. not "morbidly obese to just over weight" or a number that would cause big health concerns while pregnant. 40 lbs That's a carrot dangle, not health concerns.0
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dalielahdawn wrote: »40 lbs. not "morbidly obese to just over weight" or a number that would cause big health concerns while pregnant. 40 lbs That's a carrot dangle, not health concerns.
She clearly said that her last pregnancy did have issues and her weight played a part in it, so no, it is not just "dangling a carrot". Weight can have a major impact on pregnancy related issues.0 -
kkaiser431 wrote: »I've been begging my husband for a 3rd baby for almost a year now. (My youngest is 1 haha) He finally agreed to it if I lose at least 40 lbs because my last pregnancy was miserable. I had PSD and could hardly move. Right now I'm working to that goal and then some, but my question is..
for those that were wanting a baby and lost the weight... did you change your mind on another one? Like--did you think "It took me so long to get where I am, I don't want to have to start all over again"?
Anybody that would like to add me, too.. I'm going to need all the motivation I can get..baby or no baby haha.
I'm kind of opposite. Dh and I decided no more kids after dd was born and he had a vasectomy. She is a teenager now. I feel now that I am finally getting to a healthier weight and know how to handle food better that I could handle a pregnancy weight gain and post pregnancy weight loss better. Still don't want more kids but not because of weight.
I think it is good to get to a healthy weight before ttc especially if you have had problems in the past.0 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »_dracarys_ wrote: »_dracarys_ wrote: »Your husband is kind of a.
Why? Because he has concerns about her weight and dealing with a pregnancy, and is worried about her health?
Would you think the same way if the OP had high blood pressure and he was concerned about her being pregnant and having complications?
No, because he's dangling her want of a child in front of her like a carrot. "You can have this only if you do what I say to do." I don't get motivated to change anything because someone else told me to. If you all do, great.
Get healthy for you, OP. Not because your man told you to in order for him to participate in making a baby.
Except she never said that is what he said. She said:He finally agreed to it if I lose at least 40 lbs because my last pregnancy was miserable.
Basically he seems to be more concerned about health, which is a completely legitimate concern.
that was my take away. overweight and pregnant often result in other complicating issues. i see doctors recommend weight loss before pregnancy to a lot of women as well...
This was my take as well.
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LovingLife_Erin wrote: »My moto is that I'm getting skinny to get fat! Seriously, the more weight I lose and the more in shape I get, the more that I am excited to gain it with a baby. I'm doing this for me, and to help lesson risks in pregnancy. It is what helps keep me motivated to do this. That's me though. You are in a different situation and may need to take a step back, take some time, and decide what you want. Whatever decision you come to, I wish you all the luck and health in the world.
This is my approach too. While it would be nice to get to goal weight before pregnancy, I'm at the top end of normal and in the immortal words of Spongebob "I'm READY".0 -
Wow, first of all thank you for those who are supportive! Secondly.. my husband is not a dick and I am not losing weight on his terms. He is concerned for my health because he watched me cry, had to pick me up off couches, chairs, our bed and the floor and barely be able to move the last 4 months of my last pregnancy...because of Pubis Symphysis Disfunction(which is cause, in part, by being overweight). I am not just 40lbs overweight..that's the point where he would feel comfortable with starting to try again. I'm nearly 100lbs overweight. Morbidly obese, according to charts.
I had a friend mention to me how I may change my mind once I've lost the weight because it's been such a struggle to lose... I was just curious if other people had thought the same thing. I didn't need comments about my husband or whether or not I'm doing this for myself...
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I, for a brief moment contemplated having more children after my twins but because I am still nursing(they will be 2 in Feb), and it has taken nearly 2 years to get back to my pre pregnancy weight, it's a no for me. I was pretty fit but wasn't at my ideal weight prior to pregnancy (size 10). This time around I want to get to a 6 which is roughly about 20 lbs away. So anyway, I just want my body back so bad! No pregnancy and no nursing...lol But good luck to all you ladies ttc!!!!0
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wendymoira wrote: »I have a similar set of questions for myself -- so far my husband's actually opposed to the third baby, and so part of my current effort is about getting back to my pre-baby weight, but if he changed his mind tomorrow, I'd have mixed feelings. I do like my body at its slimmer weight, and pregnancy absolutely made me unhappy on a lot of fronts.
(Truthfully, though, I'd go for the third kid anyway and just try not to gain too much; I know how to take off pounds and how to eat more healthfully now. It's keeping the pounds off that's the real challenge.)
My husband is opposed as well.. or...was haha. He's coming around. Like you said, though. Even if he said lets try next month.. I know what I went through my last pregnancy. Healthy comes first!0 -
I have this thought often! I have a 2 year old and a 9 month old and I always thought I would have more eventually, but now that I am losing weight and starting to feel the best I have in years, I am actually doubting whether I will have more or not. I had rough pregnancies with both and it was so hard on my body, but to feel like ME again is pretty amazing. We aren't going to talk about it until our youngest is closer to 3 so we still have time, but I definitely think about it!
That's the one thing I am so looking forward to...feeling like ME again..I miss me LOL.0 -
I really want another one, but possibly will keep our daughter an only child. The weight doesn't bother me, because I know exactly how to lose it now. The factors that may hinder my want to have another baby are our current situation. I'm the only one working, and my husband is trying to get his bachelors in engineering. He still has like 2 years left, and I will be 33 next month. After he's done with school and gets a job as an engineer, I am going to culinary school. I just don't think it would be responsible to try for another, really. If it happens, it happens, though!0
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After I had my daughter, I lost the baby weight (and then some) bulked, cut to my goal and decided to try for our second right away, so pretty much I was at my goal for maybe a month
. It took us a while to get pregnant the first time so I was worried, however it happened right away with #2. I am still maintaining fitness the best I can right now into my third tri. 0 -
I suppose I am not in the same position as you, because we are trying for our first. I assumed back in March when we decided to TTC that it wouldn't take very long, but I also kept on losing in case it did. 9 months later and it still hasn't happened for us. Yes, I feel better after losing 32 lbs, but I'm also excited because that's the amount a lot of people gain during a healthy pregnancy. I am the healthiest I've ever been and I can't wait to have the healthiest pregnancy possible. Lots of people have babies and get their pre-pregnancy bodies back. No, I know I won't have the SAME body, but it will be a body I can appreciate for the joy it brought me and my husband.
No questions, I want a baby. Be thankful that you have the choice to make. Be thankful you have 2 beautiful children already. Some people are unable to have children regardless of what shape their body is in. I just hope that my weightloss didn't actually hinder my chances of getting pregnant.0 -
kkaiser431 wrote: »Wow, first of all thank you for those who are supportive! Secondly.. my husband is not a dick and I am not losing weight on his terms. He is concerned for my health because he watched me cry, had to pick me up off couches, chairs, our bed and the floor and barely be able to move the last 4 months of my last pregnancy...because of Pubis Symphysis Disfunction(which is cause, in part, by being overweight). I am not just 40lbs overweight..that's the point where he would feel comfortable with starting to try again. I'm nearly 100lbs overweight. Morbidly obese, according to charts.
I had a friend mention to me how I may change my mind once I've lost the weight because it's been such a struggle to lose... I was just curious if other people had thought the same thing. I didn't need comments about my husband or whether or not I'm doing this for myself...
In any given thread you start, someone is always going to misinterpret you; no big deal
I understood your OP the way you meant it - that your husband was concerned about your health due to your last pregnancy.0 -
Is losing weight really that hard that you'd let the possibility of it change your idea of what you want for your family? You don't have to gain a great deal of weight during pregnancy, try to keep it to 25 or 35lbs. Lose weight when you are done. If you've lost it once, you can do it again.0
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BusyRaeNOTBusty wrote: »Is losing weight really that hard that you'd let the possibility of it change your idea of what you want for your family? You don't have to gain a great deal of weight during pregnancy, try to keep it to 25 or 35lbs. Lose weight when you are done. If you've lost it once, you can do it again.
This is kind of insulting and very judgmental. Yes, losing weight CAN be that hard for some people.
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kkaiser431 wrote: »I've been begging my husband for a 3rd baby for almost a year now. (My youngest is 1 haha) He finally agreed to it if I lose at least 40 lbs because my last pregnancy was miserable. I had PSD and could hardly move. Right now I'm working to that goal and then some, but my question is..
for those that were wanting a baby and lost the weight... did you change your mind on another one? Like--did you think "It took me so long to get where I am, I don't want to have to start all over again"?
Anybody that would like to add me, too.. I'm going to need all the motivation I can get..baby or no baby haha.
I've had three kids and my husband and I want to have a final fourth. After my 3rd (who is a year now) I decided to join a gym, I've never been so fit in my life. The thought of my muscles "getting soft" makes me a little sad, but I still want another baby. My last pregnancy was miserable too, so I'm hoping all this activity in my life will make a future pregnancy less miserable.0 -
kkaiser431 wrote: »I've been begging my husband for a 3rd baby for almost a year now. (My youngest is 1 haha) He finally agreed to it if I lose at least 40 lbs because my last pregnancy was miserable. I had PSD and could hardly move. Right now I'm working to that goal and then some, but my question is..
for those that were wanting a baby and lost the weight... did you change your mind on another one? Like--did you think "It took me so long to get where I am, I don't want to have to start all over again"?
Anybody that would like to add me, too.. I'm going to need all the motivation I can get..baby or no baby haha.
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Wow ! In my case we r oppsite MY HUSBAND is the one wanting another baby ( my youngest is 9 months) but i told ONLY if i lose the baby weight will i try again bcz i gained 50 with my last pregnancy i dont want to gain more on top of that by getting pregnant. So my starting weight was 193 pounds now I'm down to 143 .... But im changing my mind as i lose more and more weight i dont wanna stop im now wanting to go down to my " pre marriage weight" of 135 then at that point will i want to get pregnant again .....but now im questioning myself "once i get to 135 would I REALLY wanna get pregnant again??!!0
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I just turned 30. I'm not married and no where near having babies, but I'm the most fit I've ever been in my life. The thought has definitely crossed my mind but I'm literally more worried about becoming pregnant before it's too late.0
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