I just want to feel better

I canceled my Weight Watchers this morning and downloaded MFP, again. The holidays are here and I know I won't be able to stay away from ALL the goodies. I want to lose weight, I have about 100 to lose. I'm realistic in knowing that it's not going to happen overnight. Losing it slowly is healthiest. My problem is that I shame myself EVERY SINGAL DAY, and it's exhausting. I picked up the phone and made an appt to deal with binge eating. The mental beat down everyday is old. Somewhere, someone out there knows what the Hell I'm talking about. I don't mind being 5'2", but it's not pretty when you weigh 235 lbs. Anything helpful, tips, tricks, or positive feedback would be helpful.
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Replies

  • crb426
    crb426 Posts: 600 Member
    edited December 2015
    Every single day choose to make smart choices toward weight loss. Even if you slip up now and then you will see results. Every single day. :)
  • dkingdom1
    dkingdom1 Posts: 59 Member
    Good job for calling someone- that is often the first step! As for the goodies- I can't stay away from those either! But log, log, log everything- the good, the bad, and the ugly! Get a food scale for more accuracy. I got mine on Friday and I'm already improving!

    And don't be too hard on yourself. If you have a bad day, log it in move on the best you can. Don't overthink it either. I wish you good luck on your weightloss journey!
  • MissT895
    MissT895 Posts: 30 Member
    I'm day 10 on this journey and day 7 on mfp. Binge eating was my thing. I make a new goal every 3-4 days and cut something out, once I feel the cravings have disappeared I do it with something else. Already said goodbye to cakes, Coke and potato chips my biggest weaknesses and watched people eat them and not lust for them. Find what works for you. I think my overall energy levels being better than they have in years is really motivating. Goodluck
  • knittnponder
    knittnponder Posts: 1,954 Member
    edited December 2015
    It's crazy how we'll talk to ourselves in a way that we would NEVER, EVER talk to anyone else! If you were in a relationship with someone who talked to you the way you talk to yourself, people would tell you it's an emotionally abusive relationship and you should get out. Easier said than done when we're saying that stuff to ourselves though, isn't it? You have to change that and you're the only one who can. Try to be aware of what you're saying, even write it down. Then cross it out and write something positive about yourself to replace the bad. It will take awhile but over time you can change your way of thinking. There are positive things you've done every single day that you can remind yourself of instead of the shame talking. I promise you, if you make a commitment to yourself to change just this one area, you will be so much happier! I speak from personal experience. ;)

    ETA: You can add me if you need more friends.
  • Tinawood40
    Tinawood40 Posts: 65 Member
    Look at it this way - a year is going to go by regardless of what you do - at the end of the year you can be right where you are right now - or you can be significantly smaller. I started in June - down 32 lbs now - feeling so much better. By the time I reach 1 year I should be 50 lbs lighter. Am I glad I hung in there - hell ya. Was it always easy - no. But I keep it in my mind that the time is going to pass one way or the other and I chose to do something to make this year count.
  • russellrebekah
    russellrebekah Posts: 1 Member
    Wow... Pretty sure I could have written your exact words. This will be the third time I've had to lose a significant amount of weight and every time it gets so much harder. I'd lost 100 lbs with weight watchers before baby #3 and I just couldn't make it work this time! I have no idea why! I cancelled mine 2 weeks ago after paying for it for years. I don't know why I can't get back on track this time. So I'm trying something different. I am exactly like you as far as giving myself such a hard time. I'm embarrassed to even admit some of the horrible things I say to myself every single day. Outwardly, I "think" I appear confident and pulled together, I'm a teacher, so I'm outgoing, extroverted, and don't feel as if I suffer from depression. Yet, while I am happy with almost everything in my life, on the inside, being unhappy with my weight totally consumes my thoughts. If I'm so unhappy about it, WHY CAN'T I SEEM TO CHANGE IT?!? So frustrating! I've done this twice before and felt great, so I know it's possible, but I literally feel as if it's never going to happen again. I really like the comments above, especially this one from Tinawood40. I'm going to try to look at it that way. The year is going to pass regardless!! Best of luck to you!
  • ShashayLee
    ShashayLee Posts: 178 Member
    Start with small steps, make small changes & keep building on these small changes. I try to keep positive, i think about my goals & why i am doing this.
    I don't call this a diet i'm doing a lifestyle change, corny but it is more positive sounding. I'm on day 192, i started at 249 pounds at 5 feet. I'm now down 69 pounds & feel so great!
    I've been working treats into my calories for the day & for the most part it works. I still have food challenges but if i mess up i log it & carry on & don't beat myself up over it. Be kind to yourself
  • mylittlerainbow
    mylittlerainbow Posts: 823 Member
    Everybody has given you fantastic advice. All that I can add is that the cravings die out pretty quickly when you have avoided those trigger foods for a matter of days - not all that long. The things I thought I couldn't live without are thoughts in my mind but not actual cravings that I have to resist any longer. So one day at a time, one foot in front of the other, using this community which makes you accountable and is so supportive, and reinforced by your successes - and you'll actually find that it's easier once you've been at it for a while! Good luck.
  • TCamardella
    TCamardella Posts: 13 Member
    This is your first step on your journey. You're here and talking to us, and that's great! You're already making great steps to losing weight. I have 150 pounds to lose, I know how it feels to have a snug shirt, or feel your stomach pouch over your jeans. It's annoying gross, and just not what we want! But you CAN do this. Take small steps, every ounce counts! Track everything, and I mean everything. Every bite you take goes on the diary. I've made it a nightly routine to pre-plan all my food. It's actually become sort of therapeutic. Make the app work for you, don't work for the app.

    You can do this! You're a beautiful person, you're strong, you can do it.
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 7,573 Member
    All of us have been there. If you use MFP correctly, you shouldn't be hungry, and the weight will start to come off. You have to be consistent, log accurately (digital scale is the key), and move as much as you can. I was amazed when I started over 3 years ago. I had dieted before, but this was lots easier and I didn't suffer. Take each day and try to stay within your goals. Don't give up. When you feel down look on the boards for success stories and that can get you motivated. One day you too will be a success story. Do it.
  • keeliemcelyea
    keeliemcelyea Posts: 4 Member
    Thank you everyone for your positive feedback! You all have a great outlook and I'm positive that I can too! Thanks so much!
  • bmayes2014
    bmayes2014 Posts: 232 Member
    Come to MFP everyday. log in. log your meals - no matter how bad. Just do your best and KEEP GOING! As you know, some days will be better than others but KEEP GOING. Read through success stories and what has worked for others. Learn more about what will work for you. When you fall down, get right back up and guess what??? KEEP GOING! You can do it!
  • extacymoon
    extacymoon Posts: 141 Member
    They say we are our biggest critics. You can do this. It is a long hard journey but every good choice you make is a step in the right discretion. Make small changes over time, these will become habit. Small changes are less threatening then going all in right off the bat. You have already made a few small steps in what you have already done. You can do this. Feel free to add me as a friend if you would like. I am always open to having partners on the heathy journey.
  • stormyview
    stormyview Posts: 85 Member
    Everybody has given you fantastic advice. All that I can add is that the cravings die out pretty quickly when you have avoided those trigger foods for a matter of days - not all that long. The things I thought I couldn't live without are thoughts in my mind but not actual cravings that I have to resist any longer. So one day at a time, one foot in front of the other, using this community which makes you accountable and is so supportive, and reinforced by your successes - and you'll actually find that it's easier once you've been at it for a while! Good luck.

    I really found this to be true, to at least some extent. I do sometimes still get strong desires for foods, but it's much less than before, and I feel that I an choose to indulge or not, whereas before it was much, much harder to not indulge. When I was losing, I tracked every bite that entered my lips, and I did do ahead of time. That made it much easier because I'd already made my decisions. I also stopped buying the stuff that I'd binge on, and thought about how to resist in the situations where I was most prone to eating stuff I'd regret.

    I want to add that I couldn't motivate myself to lose weight for looks, but I finally got the grit to do so because of health issues. I wasn't happy with my lack of energy, and I was having joint problems despite being only a little bit into "overweight." I've lost about 45 pounds, and the difference in how I feel is unbelievable to me. I have so much more energy now than I did before. My joints still bother me, but it's much less than before.

    OP, go for it. It will be so worth it, and you'll be amazed at how good you can feel--both physically and emotionally. The confidence of knowing that you did something disciplined that others find really hard is amazing. Good luck--but more than that, I wish you the gumption to decide to make this change for yourself.
  • cassandranken
    cassandranken Posts: 129 Member
    It's crazy how we'll talk to ourselves in a way that we would NEVER, EVER talk to anyone else! If you were in a relationship with someone who talked to you the way you talk to yourself, people would tell you it's an emotionally abusive relationship and you should get out.

    THIS THIS THIS!!! The things I think about myself and say TO myself are horrible. No one should ever talk to ANYONE the way I talk to myself. I've even told myself I deserve to HURT myself. Man, if my fiance knew the things I think and say to myself...

    OP, do you want to be accountabili-buddies? :smiley: I really think we share a lot of the same struggles and could help each other out.
  • Getty59
    Getty59 Posts: 72 Member
    MissT895 wrote: »
    I'm day 10 on this journey and day 7 on mfp. Binge eating was my thing. I make a new goal every 3-4 days and cut something out, once I feel the cravings have disappeared I do it with something else. Already said goodbye to cakes, Coke and potato chips my biggest weaknesses and watched people eat them and not lust for them. Find what works for you. I think my overall energy levels being better than they have in years is really motivating. Goodluck

    Just wanted to say that's awesome keep up the great work!
  • Getty59
    Getty59 Posts: 72 Member
    I canceled my Weight Watchers this morning and downloaded MFP, again. The holidays are here and I know I won't be able to stay away from ALL the goodies. I want to lose weight, I have about 100 to lose. I'm realistic in knowing that it's not going to happen overnight. Losing it slowly is healthiest. My problem is that I shame myself EVERY SINGAL DAY, and it's exhausting. I picked up the phone and made an appt to deal with binge eating. The mental beat down everyday is old. Somewhere, someone out there knows what the Hell I'm talking about. I don't mind being 5'2", but it's not pretty when you weigh 235 lbs. Anything helpful, tips, tricks, or positive feedback would be helpful.

    Small tip that helps me is I come to this forum a few times a day and read the threads really helps me to stay motivated and keep on track. I even learn something every once in a while lol.
  • sueann10
    sueann10 Posts: 74 Member
    Hello I have to repeat what everyone has said, get a food scale, log everything into MFP and keep moving. I started off the year as 192, I got a nutribullet and started having healthy smoothies for breakfast and sometimes dinner. I stopped having it for dinner a while now but still have a breakfast smoothie every day. As everyone said, expect to have drawbacks - I've had sooo many this year that I didn't think weight loss was possible many times. I read about TDEE here on the community and decided to eat more calories than I was having. Guess what? It worked and I am pleased to say that I have lost a total of 25lbs now; I'm now 167lbs. Small changes matter and the key is to not give up. Wish you well on your journey and remember a positive mind means a positive body. I am still on my journey and very thankful there is a wealth of info waiting here on MFP community.
  • vivmom2014
    vivmom2014 Posts: 1,543 Member
    I will second (or third?) the accountability strategy: commit to logging your food every day. No matter what the calorie count amounts to. Put it there in black and white. Food scale is also key.

    Small changes = yes.

    This is goofy, but you can say about all the treats that may pop up during the holidays: "None of this food is leaving the planet. It will all be right there when I've lost weight and feeling mentally stronger to handle it."

    Simply delay the gratification. This day, then the next day. You WILL get to eat everything that you love again, but you need to get mentally stronger first.

    Finally, just start. Right where you are - just start. You will see progress!
  • Kullerva
    Kullerva Posts: 1,114 Member
    I'm 5'4" and at my heaviest weighed 189 pounds. I've gone up and down a bit over the years, but have managed to stay in the 140s for most of this year (I still have a bit to lose). The major breakthrough for me was in understanding what made me want to eat even when I wasn't hungry. We can't always trust our hunger cues; in some ways, they are tied to our habits.

    I have 2 cookies (or tea cakes) every night with my tea. Every once in a while I would eat 4 cookies. Or 6. Or 8. I didn't know why. I realized that I was using the cookies as my reward for "being good," thus negating all the counting and measuring I had done earlier in the day. Once I figured it out, I started rewarding myself in other ways--yoga, reading, aromatherapy, etc. Understanding what triggers the eating behavior is the first step in stopping it.

    If you're not used to logging, try to make that a habit, too. Reward yourself on days that you log with an episode of your favorite TV show, a marathon-listening session of your favorite musician, or a chapter of your favorite book. Encouraging yourself to enjoy a healthier lifestyle will help you maintain the changes you make.

    If you live with family, try to get them involved in this process. You don't have to suddenly start eating kale chips and forcing everyone to eat low carb, but the more support you have in this, the better.

    Good luck!