I just want to feel better
keeliemcelyea
Posts: 4 Member
I canceled my Weight Watchers this morning and downloaded MFP, again. The holidays are here and I know I won't be able to stay away from ALL the goodies. I want to lose weight, I have about 100 to lose. I'm realistic in knowing that it's not going to happen overnight. Losing it slowly is healthiest. My problem is that I shame myself EVERY SINGAL DAY, and it's exhausting. I picked up the phone and made an appt to deal with binge eating. The mental beat down everyday is old. Somewhere, someone out there knows what the Hell I'm talking about. I don't mind being 5'2", but it's not pretty when you weigh 235 lbs. Anything helpful, tips, tricks, or positive feedback would be helpful.
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Every single day choose to make smart choices toward weight loss. Even if you slip up now and then you will see results. Every single day.
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Good job for calling someone- that is often the first step! As for the goodies- I can't stay away from those either! But log, log, log everything- the good, the bad, and the ugly! Get a food scale for more accuracy. I got mine on Friday and I'm already improving!
And don't be too hard on yourself. If you have a bad day, log it in move on the best you can. Don't overthink it either. I wish you good luck on your weightloss journey!0 -
I'm day 10 on this journey and day 7 on mfp. Binge eating was my thing. I make a new goal every 3-4 days and cut something out, once I feel the cravings have disappeared I do it with something else. Already said goodbye to cakes, Coke and potato chips my biggest weaknesses and watched people eat them and not lust for them. Find what works for you. I think my overall energy levels being better than they have in years is really motivating. Goodluck0
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It's crazy how we'll talk to ourselves in a way that we would NEVER, EVER talk to anyone else! If you were in a relationship with someone who talked to you the way you talk to yourself, people would tell you it's an emotionally abusive relationship and you should get out. Easier said than done when we're saying that stuff to ourselves though, isn't it? You have to change that and you're the only one who can. Try to be aware of what you're saying, even write it down. Then cross it out and write something positive about yourself to replace the bad. It will take awhile but over time you can change your way of thinking. There are positive things you've done every single day that you can remind yourself of instead of the shame talking. I promise you, if you make a commitment to yourself to change just this one area, you will be so much happier! I speak from personal experience.
ETA: You can add me if you need more friends.0 -
Look at it this way - a year is going to go by regardless of what you do - at the end of the year you can be right where you are right now - or you can be significantly smaller. I started in June - down 32 lbs now - feeling so much better. By the time I reach 1 year I should be 50 lbs lighter. Am I glad I hung in there - hell ya. Was it always easy - no. But I keep it in my mind that the time is going to pass one way or the other and I chose to do something to make this year count.0
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Wow... Pretty sure I could have written your exact words. This will be the third time I've had to lose a significant amount of weight and every time it gets so much harder. I'd lost 100 lbs with weight watchers before baby #3 and I just couldn't make it work this time! I have no idea why! I cancelled mine 2 weeks ago after paying for it for years. I don't know why I can't get back on track this time. So I'm trying something different. I am exactly like you as far as giving myself such a hard time. I'm embarrassed to even admit some of the horrible things I say to myself every single day. Outwardly, I "think" I appear confident and pulled together, I'm a teacher, so I'm outgoing, extroverted, and don't feel as if I suffer from depression. Yet, while I am happy with almost everything in my life, on the inside, being unhappy with my weight totally consumes my thoughts. If I'm so unhappy about it, WHY CAN'T I SEEM TO CHANGE IT?!? So frustrating! I've done this twice before and felt great, so I know it's possible, but I literally feel as if it's never going to happen again. I really like the comments above, especially this one from Tinawood40. I'm going to try to look at it that way. The year is going to pass regardless!! Best of luck to you!0
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Start with small steps, make small changes & keep building on these small changes. I try to keep positive, i think about my goals & why i am doing this.
I don't call this a diet i'm doing a lifestyle change, corny but it is more positive sounding. I'm on day 192, i started at 249 pounds at 5 feet. I'm now down 69 pounds & feel so great!
I've been working treats into my calories for the day & for the most part it works. I still have food challenges but if i mess up i log it & carry on & don't beat myself up over it. Be kind to yourself0 -
Everybody has given you fantastic advice. All that I can add is that the cravings die out pretty quickly when you have avoided those trigger foods for a matter of days - not all that long. The things I thought I couldn't live without are thoughts in my mind but not actual cravings that I have to resist any longer. So one day at a time, one foot in front of the other, using this community which makes you accountable and is so supportive, and reinforced by your successes - and you'll actually find that it's easier once you've been at it for a while! Good luck.0
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This is your first step on your journey. You're here and talking to us, and that's great! You're already making great steps to losing weight. I have 150 pounds to lose, I know how it feels to have a snug shirt, or feel your stomach pouch over your jeans. It's annoying gross, and just not what we want! But you CAN do this. Take small steps, every ounce counts! Track everything, and I mean everything. Every bite you take goes on the diary. I've made it a nightly routine to pre-plan all my food. It's actually become sort of therapeutic. Make the app work for you, don't work for the app.
You can do this! You're a beautiful person, you're strong, you can do it.0 -
All of us have been there. If you use MFP correctly, you shouldn't be hungry, and the weight will start to come off. You have to be consistent, log accurately (digital scale is the key), and move as much as you can. I was amazed when I started over 3 years ago. I had dieted before, but this was lots easier and I didn't suffer. Take each day and try to stay within your goals. Don't give up. When you feel down look on the boards for success stories and that can get you motivated. One day you too will be a success story. Do it.0
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Thank you everyone for your positive feedback! You all have a great outlook and I'm positive that I can too! Thanks so much!0
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Come to MFP everyday. log in. log your meals - no matter how bad. Just do your best and KEEP GOING! As you know, some days will be better than others but KEEP GOING. Read through success stories and what has worked for others. Learn more about what will work for you. When you fall down, get right back up and guess what??? KEEP GOING! You can do it!0
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They say we are our biggest critics. You can do this. It is a long hard journey but every good choice you make is a step in the right discretion. Make small changes over time, these will become habit. Small changes are less threatening then going all in right off the bat. You have already made a few small steps in what you have already done. You can do this. Feel free to add me as a friend if you would like. I am always open to having partners on the heathy journey.0
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mylittlerainbow wrote: »Everybody has given you fantastic advice. All that I can add is that the cravings die out pretty quickly when you have avoided those trigger foods for a matter of days - not all that long. The things I thought I couldn't live without are thoughts in my mind but not actual cravings that I have to resist any longer. So one day at a time, one foot in front of the other, using this community which makes you accountable and is so supportive, and reinforced by your successes - and you'll actually find that it's easier once you've been at it for a while! Good luck.
I really found this to be true, to at least some extent. I do sometimes still get strong desires for foods, but it's much less than before, and I feel that I an choose to indulge or not, whereas before it was much, much harder to not indulge. When I was losing, I tracked every bite that entered my lips, and I did do ahead of time. That made it much easier because I'd already made my decisions. I also stopped buying the stuff that I'd binge on, and thought about how to resist in the situations where I was most prone to eating stuff I'd regret.
I want to add that I couldn't motivate myself to lose weight for looks, but I finally got the grit to do so because of health issues. I wasn't happy with my lack of energy, and I was having joint problems despite being only a little bit into "overweight." I've lost about 45 pounds, and the difference in how I feel is unbelievable to me. I have so much more energy now than I did before. My joints still bother me, but it's much less than before.
OP, go for it. It will be so worth it, and you'll be amazed at how good you can feel--both physically and emotionally. The confidence of knowing that you did something disciplined that others find really hard is amazing. Good luck--but more than that, I wish you the gumption to decide to make this change for yourself.
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knittnponder wrote: »It's crazy how we'll talk to ourselves in a way that we would NEVER, EVER talk to anyone else! If you were in a relationship with someone who talked to you the way you talk to yourself, people would tell you it's an emotionally abusive relationship and you should get out.
THIS THIS THIS!!! The things I think about myself and say TO myself are horrible. No one should ever talk to ANYONE the way I talk to myself. I've even told myself I deserve to HURT myself. Man, if my fiance knew the things I think and say to myself...
OP, do you want to be accountabili-buddies?
I really think we share a lot of the same struggles and could help each other out. 0 -
I'm day 10 on this journey and day 7 on mfp. Binge eating was my thing. I make a new goal every 3-4 days and cut something out, once I feel the cravings have disappeared I do it with something else. Already said goodbye to cakes, Coke and potato chips my biggest weaknesses and watched people eat them and not lust for them. Find what works for you. I think my overall energy levels being better than they have in years is really motivating. Goodluck
Just wanted to say that's awesome keep up the great work!0 -
keeliemcelyea wrote: »I canceled my Weight Watchers this morning and downloaded MFP, again. The holidays are here and I know I won't be able to stay away from ALL the goodies. I want to lose weight, I have about 100 to lose. I'm realistic in knowing that it's not going to happen overnight. Losing it slowly is healthiest. My problem is that I shame myself EVERY SINGAL DAY, and it's exhausting. I picked up the phone and made an appt to deal with binge eating. The mental beat down everyday is old. Somewhere, someone out there knows what the Hell I'm talking about. I don't mind being 5'2", but it's not pretty when you weigh 235 lbs. Anything helpful, tips, tricks, or positive feedback would be helpful.
Small tip that helps me is I come to this forum a few times a day and read the threads really helps me to stay motivated and keep on track. I even learn something every once in a while lol.0 -
Hello I have to repeat what everyone has said, get a food scale, log everything into MFP and keep moving. I started off the year as 192, I got a nutribullet and started having healthy smoothies for breakfast and sometimes dinner. I stopped having it for dinner a while now but still have a breakfast smoothie every day. As everyone said, expect to have drawbacks - I've had sooo many this year that I didn't think weight loss was possible many times. I read about TDEE here on the community and decided to eat more calories than I was having. Guess what? It worked and I am pleased to say that I have lost a total of 25lbs now; I'm now 167lbs. Small changes matter and the key is to not give up. Wish you well on your journey and remember a positive mind means a positive body. I am still on my journey and very thankful there is a wealth of info waiting here on MFP community.0
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I will second (or third?) the accountability strategy: commit to logging your food every day. No matter what the calorie count amounts to. Put it there in black and white. Food scale is also key.
Small changes = yes.
This is goofy, but you can say about all the treats that may pop up during the holidays: "None of this food is leaving the planet. It will all be right there when I've lost weight and feeling mentally stronger to handle it."
Simply delay the gratification. This day, then the next day. You WILL get to eat everything that you love again, but you need to get mentally stronger first.
Finally, just start. Right where you are - just start. You will see progress!0 -
I'm 5'4" and at my heaviest weighed 189 pounds. I've gone up and down a bit over the years, but have managed to stay in the 140s for most of this year (I still have a bit to lose). The major breakthrough for me was in understanding what made me want to eat even when I wasn't hungry. We can't always trust our hunger cues; in some ways, they are tied to our habits.
I have 2 cookies (or tea cakes) every night with my tea. Every once in a while I would eat 4 cookies. Or 6. Or 8. I didn't know why. I realized that I was using the cookies as my reward for "being good," thus negating all the counting and measuring I had done earlier in the day. Once I figured it out, I started rewarding myself in other ways--yoga, reading, aromatherapy, etc. Understanding what triggers the eating behavior is the first step in stopping it.
If you're not used to logging, try to make that a habit, too. Reward yourself on days that you log with an episode of your favorite TV show, a marathon-listening session of your favorite musician, or a chapter of your favorite book. Encouraging yourself to enjoy a healthier lifestyle will help you maintain the changes you make.
If you live with family, try to get them involved in this process. You don't have to suddenly start eating kale chips and forcing everyone to eat low carb, but the more support you have in this, the better.
Good luck!0 -
Tinawood40 wrote: »Look at it this way - a year is going to go by regardless of what you do - at the end of the year you can be right where you are right now - or you can be significantly smaller. I started in June - down 32 lbs now - feeling so much better. By the time I reach 1 year I should be 50 lbs lighter. Am I glad I hung in there - hell ya. Was it always easy - no. But I keep it in my mind that the time is going to pass one way or the other and I chose to do something to make this year count.
^^^THIS^^^
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You might benefit from reading Andie Mitchell's "It Was Me All Along." She chronicles her weight loss and more importantly, the wild emotional ride it was for her. Something that resonated with me was how she asked herself, "Can I do this TODAY? Can I resist sweets and overeating just for today only?" If I can pause and have this internal conversation, I usually can talk myself down from emotional eating. Good luck!0
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Just log everything. Make what you want fit in your calories instead of feeling bad because you had a cookie... it's only 100 calories out of 1600! And mostly, don't go straight to the '2 lb a week' setting. I'm sure that's why most people fail... asking for too much too fast. 1 pound a week is a perfectly fine rate of loss, and you don't have to feel deprived that way.
The main thing though is always asking yourself if you REALLY want something or if you're only eating it because it's there. A trick I use is asking myself 'ok so there's going to be cookies, if I wanted a cookie, what would I really want?'. If the answer is a sugar cookie, and they only have gingerbread cookies... I'll hold off until I can have the sugar cookie I REALLY want, because I know those cookies won't be as satisfying and I'd rather save the calories for something that will really satisfy me. That's how I deal with high calorie foods now... and how I can say no to dessert when we go out... if I see a dessert menu and can't see something that really jumps at me right away (like 'oh I've been wanting to eat one of those for a while'), I pass.
But I absolutely don't feel bad if I have a cookie or a cupcake within my calories. I just adjust dinner and ditch the potatoes I had planned and just have veggies with my chicken instead (and typically save the high calorie foods I've been craving for days when I'm not very hungry, so it's easier to fit them in).
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Making that appointment is a great start!
I understand the shame thing, but (as someone else said) realizing that I would never talk to someone else like that and allowing myself to be imperfect were really huge steps forward in being able to take the steps needed to lose the weight (I went from 220 to 125). For me, shame was not a way to teach myself not to do it again (as I had kind of thought) but was counterproductive and tended to play into the overeating cycle.
What did work for me was accepting myself as I was, committing to being as healthy as I could be and getting fit, even if I didn't lose (I intended to lose, but this was how I got around my fear that it wouldn't work, although that was illogical), and focusing on -- and writing down -- some very specific motivations and goals (not all weight related). Then, because I'm a planner sort of person, I made a series of short and long term goals (in one year, in 6 months, in 3, in one month) and then started in with some action items for the week: log all my food, stay below my calorie goal, walk rather than drive whenever possible (I also got a Fitbit and that was quite motivating), and use the stationary bike 3x during the week for 30 mins each time at an easy level. I picked things that would be achievable for me, and not too tough and then I worked up and added new things as I got comfortable with what I was doing. During the first several months I kept a computer journal (or more of a log) where I noted down how I felt, what seemed to be working, what I was struggling with, so on, and if I messed up on something I wrote about it analytically and tried to treat it as a learning experience as opposed to a reason to beat myself up or quit. When I went through periods I knew would be tough I modified some to address that rather than my old "if I'm not perfect I might as well quit!" Being nice to myself and not making it all or nothing was the most important part of it -- and once you start losing and realize you don't have to suffer or be miserable at all to do so this process actually can start being really fun!0 -
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Take it one day at a time. I joined MFP just 101 days ago. I didn't take before pics because I honestly didn't believe I'd make progress so quickly. In 101 days I am down 24 pounds. Although I'd still like to lose another 20, I feel absolutely amazing.
I fell off the wagon here and there along the way. The most important thing you can do is pick yourself right back up whenever you fall and STAY CONSISTENT. Log EVERYTHING you put in your mouth. MFP is not a diet, it's a lifestyle change. After 101 days of logging and consistently seeing progress, I couldn't imagine going back to my old ways.
Sure, we just made it through Thanksgiving and now the Christmas holidays are coming up. I've come to realize that there will ALWAYS be an excuse to eat in excess. If it's not the holidays then it's birthdays, anniversaries, potlucks, Super Bowl, etc..... If you really want to change your weight and your life then make it a priority to log and stay within your calorie goal. What's more important to you, Christmas cookies or adding years into your lifespan? Do you prefer a Christmas buffet or being able to fit into your skinny jeans? You can enjoy a Christmas fruitcake or a piece of birthday cake if it fits your calorie goal. If you over do it, go take an extra walk. No time for a walk? Then bank some extra calories your next meal. You can do this!0 -
keeliemcelyea wrote: »I canceled my Weight Watchers this morning and downloaded MFP, again. The holidays are here and I know I won't be able to stay away from ALL the goodies. I want to lose weight, I have about 100 to lose. I'm realistic in knowing that it's not going to happen overnight. Losing it slowly is healthiest. My problem is that I shame myself EVERY SINGAL DAY, and it's exhausting. I picked up the phone and made an appt to deal with binge eating. The mental beat down everyday is old. Somewhere, someone out there knows what the Hell I'm talking about. I don't mind being 5'2", but it's not pretty when you weigh 235 lbs. Anything helpful, tips, tricks, or positive feedback would be helpful.
I've struggled with binge eating and stress eating since I was about 10. It's exhausting, I can tell you one thing you cannot shame yourself into losing 100 lbs. Its quite the opposite, you need to learn to love yourself and extend compassion to yourself for where you are right now. Even if you are heavy, you need to feel like as a person and human being you are okay! That doesn't mean you need to think you're great or even good right this moment, but at least okay and deserving of respect and forgiveness. It seems counter intuitive but when you like yourself you'll look after yourself and say well it's not very nice to myself to force feed candy bars down my throat and feel bloated and yucky. It's all about compromise and compassion, shaming and hating yourself for your weight is literally useless, contrary to what society tells us. Even if you dont look like what you want, your body is a beautiful machine that keeps you breathing and digesting and living. Love it for that.0 -
I started walking. At first I could barely do it (1/8 of a mile 3 x a week!). Now I spend about 1 hour 40 minutes/ day walking my dogs on nature paths and hiking trails. That's my ME time, when I can gather my thoughts, let go of everything, not answer anyone's demands. It's wonderful.
And honestly, you have to build yourself up for what you CAN accomplish. I'm not sure how far I could walk today if I had to carry around a bag with the nearly 65 lbs I've lost! It takes a LOT of strength to be active when you're really overweight. Don't knock it. Celebrate your small achievements in changing your lifestyle. Celebrate YOU! Just.. don't do it with lots of cookies.0
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