how do you love yourself on the way to weight loss?

I agree with DebbieFerr, and how nice of her to supply so many suggestions!

What do your best friends and, if applicable, partner, love and admire most about you? I'm sure they didn't love you more when you weighed less so there must be some(many)thing that makes you amazing for who you are that has nothing whatsoever to do with your body...

What would they say if they knew how bad you felt about yourself?

I'm not sure if you're a mother, but if you were your own daughter and you found out she was down on herself like you are, what would you say to her to counteract that?

Perhaps this is so not what you need, my babbling, but I guess my heart goes out to you and I really think that if you could approach weight loss whilst being kinder to yourself, you could get to your goals whilst enjoying the beautiful person I'm certain you already are.

I just tune those people out. I doubt they are the most successful long term.
The thing is, the basic premise remains the same -- CICO -- but the theme & variation among individuals is infinite. You are doing your journey. What does it mean? How does it unfold? What might you change and why? You have to be a compassionate listener with yourself to get to the bottom of these questions.
Best wishes to you! xo

Not sure what to say about how you should continue on your journey... However, love is unconditional. You don't love if, when,... You just love. Take the conditions off of your love for yourself and affirm who you are as well as who you are becoming.

I think for me, I had come to accept myself even when I was over 320 lb. I stopped tying self-worth to weight; I have a good job, I have good friends, I own a great cat (or he owns me, I can't always tell which).

For me, weight loss isn't something I do because I think I'll be happier with myself, weight loss is something I do because I want to do things in life that I simply can't accomplish if I'm obese.

TheBeachgod wrote: »

You could stay off the forums if the negative bs is affecting you that much.

This.

If doing optional activity X makes you feel bad about yourself, don't do it.

Change happens when we care about ourselves and want to do right by our bodies, not when we try to force change out of hatred for ourselves. You must do this for the right reasons. Do it to feel strong and healthy, do it to live a long life. Don't do it because you think you will be happy if/when you reach a certain weight. If you do not deal with the issue of loving yourself now, you will still have that issue when you reach your goal weight. We may shrink, but our problems do not shrink with us.

I think it might be possible to both work on being kinder to yourself - or at least not hating yourself as you are - and working towards a weight loss goal in a way that doesn't punish you.

First thing: you're seeing a doctor for your actual health issues, and getting continued help for ED thinking, right, maybe in a support group? That should happen, get any specialist help you need.

If you do want community support, from MFP: +1 to avoiding triggers. You can apparently hide particular forums if you want to. I'd stay away from the Fitness, General, and Success Stories forums, and only post in Motivation, in that case.

But maybe MFP isn't a good place for you, and there are other ways to be mindful of food and fitness that aren't triggering*.

Being kind to yourself:

+1 to blocking fitspo and unreasonable body image ideals anywhere else, in all kinds of media.

Dress in ways that make you feel comfortable and show you to your best advantage, no clingy stuff for now.

Pick up some hobbies that take your full attention and have nothing to do with fitness. Something creative, maybe. If you're already doing something creative in an intense way, choose something new that you're just going to do for fun.

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Do the minimum amount of fitness (and thinking about fitness and dieting) possible and trust that the program will get you there. Choose your approach carefully.

Strength training, if you want to do it for your bones and strength and general health (as well as reshaping, it's ok to admit that, I think) - pick a plan, track your progress and wins on a paper notepad, and put it away when you're done with your session. Then go do something else that's productive.

For cardio, forget anything intense or even in a gym and don't even call it "cardio" or think about calories. Just go for walks, in your normal clothes (but supportive shoes). Don't do it for longer than an hour. Just notice the trees and birds and that sort of thing. Think of it as enjoying getting fresh air and being alive and connected to the world.

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*If you do still want to lose weight, I wonder if non-calorie-counting methods might be better for you. (I don't know, guidelines like that might be worse, especially if you were 98 pounds only a year ago.) But I wonder - with no knowledge of ED, mind you - whether this post might have something for you:

Non tracking methods and behaviors that may help while tracking

Because, basically, the way to control intake without weighing things and counting calories is to control either the kind of food so less of it's calorific (I think it can still be tasty) - without demonizing foods that are calorific, just limiting them, or, using portion control, using visual estimates, like in a lot of food guides. (e.g. "1/2 cup rice with a piece of meat the size of your palm and a salad" sort of thing).

I lost my weight by following a simple diet focused on lean meats, grains, veg, fruit, dairy, and nuts. I used measuring cups (very roughly), and had small treats occasionally, but limited them in amounts and just didn't keep them in the house to avoid making me feel like I had to fight myself. (Basically what's in that link above.) *I don't know if that would be ok for you*.

I also got really into cooking and enjoying the delicious and healthy food I was eating for the taste. So it was thinking of it in terms of adding great stuff, rather than taking things away.

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I mentioned in your last thread that I can't work out like I used to, right, and how not being able to work out is a bummer. I'm doing all that stuff above, and it helps. I don't go to the Fitness forum anymore (unless a thread about an injury I've had happens to float to the top, ha, and I think I can be helpful.) I focus on what I can do - right now that's just food-related, so nutrition and cooking. I dress in clothes that make me feel good.