Self confidence

robs_ready
robs_ready Posts: 1,488 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Anyone else lost a lot of weight and still lack self confidence?

Anyone managed to deal with this?

Replies

  • brb2008
    brb2008 Posts: 406 Member
    I lost 100lbs and still managed to hate my body and had zero confidence. Gained half back, hate it even more and have even less confidence now.

    So nope, have not managed to deal in any way. I will probably never be happy, but so long as I can reduce my risk of being a dead body that will do. I know losing weight won't change my body image. My self esteem and body issues are from early early childhood and so deeply a part of me I should have started therapy 20 years ago and I'd still probably have issues.
  • luvsubrooke
    luvsubrooke Posts: 85 Member
    When I first lost my weight I still saw myself as "heavy", even though I was a size small. It takes a while for our brains to catch up to our physical appearance! I've modeled since highschool and when I had my baby I lost all confidence, which lasted even after I was pre baby weight. A lack of confidence comes from feeling like we aren't accepted, so it's important to realize that acceptance is only important if it comes from yourself. Who cares what others think. If you're confident and a nice person, those who truly matter will see the inner beauty and outter. If they don't, they aren't needed or wanted in your life.
  • SherryTeach
    SherryTeach Posts: 2,836 Member
    Self-confidence comes from setting and achieving goals, learning new skills, and being competent at a variety of things. It cannot come from what you look like. It comes from a self-examination of all aspects of life (relationships, educational achievement, career success, personal growth) and saying "Yes! I did that!"
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,229 Member
    SherryTeach wrote: »
    Self-confidence comes from setting and achieving goals, learning new skills, and being competent at a variety of things. It cannot come from what you look like. It comes from a self-examination of all aspects of life (relationships, educational achievement, career success, personal growth) and saying "Yes! I did that!"

    100%. I can honestly say that my self confidence has been at some of its lowest when I was small, and highest when I've been big. Learning to disconnect your confidence from your appearance is really important.
  • angelexperiment
    angelexperiment Posts: 1,917 Member
    I gained confidence by achieving fitness goals and working on my internal self talk and working on my emotional life.
  • 178Goal
    178Goal Posts: 9 Member
    I use self hypnosis recordings on my Iphone
  • Lucille4444
    Lucille4444 Posts: 284 Member
    Lack of self confidence is not related to weight.
    Perhaps talking with a professional might be a good first step, you need to feel good about yourself to be happy.
  • elyse_yocum
    elyse_yocum Posts: 2 Member
    I have lost about 40 pounds in 2 months. Even though I used to be over weight for my height, and now I'm a good weight for my height, I still feel self conscious. I'm 4' 11" and 102 lbs. in this situation, this isn't about weight or working out. You should be proud that you lost a lot of weight! in a healthy way. But I think talking with a professional is the best route to go honestly. It's about how you feel about yourself in the inside. You have to train your brain to tell yourself that your good enough or that your handsome/beautiful. It's really just self esteem issues I think which is very common. I'm pretty sure everyone has it but it's the matter on how you deal with it and if it's really intense too.
  • indycoltz
    indycoltz Posts: 565 Member
    Yep, when I was bigger I didn't care, and I was confident and knew I was. Now, after losing over a hundred pounds, my self-confidence is so fluid. High one day, then, I gain 2 pounds, shoots down into the pits.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    I've never had self-confidence. My siblings made sure of that.
  • peaceout_aly
    peaceout_aly Posts: 2,018 Member
    Didn't lose a lot but transformed my shape completely to achieve the athletic, toned and sculpted body that I always dreamed of...only to find that I am still constantly trying to improve it. Before I wanted toned legs, now I want quad separation. Before I wanted slim, toned arms, now I want striations on my shoulders. Goals are constantly changing. Just try to constantly love your body through the process. Believe me, that is the biggest challenge.
  • lenalovestofish
    lenalovestofish Posts: 80 Member
    I don't have much confidence at all. I have an ex husband to thank for that
  • caroannv
    caroannv Posts: 40 Member
    I have this weird thing going on where I am now 5kg lighter than my previous "happy" weight, and yet I am still feeling unhappy with what I see in the mirror. Since I am nearly at goal, I am obviously having some sort of body dysmorphia going on..... see - I can recognise that on an intellectual level but the feelings are still real. Dangerous territory.....I guess I'll just to have to keep going to the gym and lifting weights so that I get stronger and fitter.
  • Aaron_K123
    Aaron_K123 Posts: 7,122 Member
    edited August 2016
    Confidence, along with any virtue, is something you have to practice...it won't come to you like a prize in a happy meal just for acomplishing something.

    When you identify a weak muscle you train it by putting it under stress, making it do what you want it to be able to do until you get where you want to be. That comes with some discomfort.

    Want more confidence? Then you have to train it. Train it by identifying what makes you feel sheepish and then do that thing, do it loudly and in public. Keep doing it until that nagging self doubt goes numb and the embarrassment associated subsides.

    You want to lose weight? Have a calorie deficit. You want muscle? Exercise your muscles. You want confidence? Exercise your confidence. One doesn't come free with the other.
  • sunshine_janice
    sunshine_janice Posts: 28 Member
    I lacked confidence from having 4 kids...stretch marks and plus breastfeeding them didn't help my body. But I try to see the positive (i gave birth to 4 incredible human beings and fed them with my body). It helps. See the positive through it. If you feel down, think of the good that comes with the weight loss.
  • ogmomma2012
    ogmomma2012 Posts: 1,520 Member
    For me, confidence is about loving myself and my efforts. I consider the battles I have fought (emotional eating, quitting smoking) and the fact that I carried another human being inside of me as just a part of life's journey and how far I've come from who I was 5+ years ago when I hated myself and my life.

    I have improved so much in who I am as a person that when I look in the mirror I feel sexy despite the sagginess.
  • Shana67
    Shana67 Posts: 680 Member
    sunshine_janice wrote: »
    I lacked confidence from having 4 kids...stretch marks and plus breastfeeding them didn't help my body. But I try to see the positive (i gave birth to 4 incredible human beings and fed them with my body). It helps. See the positive through it. If you feel down, think of the good that comes with the weight loss.

    Right on, sister! You kept your children ALIVE!! That is a huge, huge deal. I loved knowing that I was the ONLY PERSON keeping my kids alive - pretty cool. Yay you :)
  • Aaron_K123
    Aaron_K123 Posts: 7,122 Member
    Self confidence is earned, not given by some external source. If it isn't from you it isn't really SELF confidence. Self confidence is the kind that allows you to carry on in a sea of negativity.

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