How to stop passing unhealthy food habits to kids?
lakshva
Posts: 44 Member
I didn't mean restricting kids from having any food. But how do you think we can teach kids to have a healthy relationship with food? At times I wonder if watching me measuring each and every food can have a reverse impact on kids!! What are those habits which you feel you could have learned bit earlier?
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One thing I see a lot of is parents who eat very healthy and moderately but feed their kids strictly chicken nuggets and fries and candy and fruit snacks. I AM NOT judging them as I'm not a parent and I totally get it "that's all my kid will eat, he will starve otherwise, you don't know what it's like..." But IF POSSIBLE seems like a better idea to introduce kids to a wide variety of different foods and encourage veggies. I have a few friends who have discovered their kid will (for example) eat broccoli and sno peas alllll day long but will not touch carrots. So they don't make them eat carrots. Easy. Stuff like that.
Just coming from my own history I think it's good when parents set good examples for example my mom wanted a sweet treat after every single lunch and dinner and that kind of set an example that was not so good...I came to expect dessert twice a day. Ideally that's probably a better thing to have once or twice a week, or at least if it happens then TINY treats like a small cookie, not whole pieces of cheesecake and bowls of ice cream. JMHO.0 -
First of all, parenting is a brutal business, so don't spend too much time in regret.
I have struggled with my weight most of my life, but I raised two children of normal weight and with healthy attitudes towards food.
I posted the Canada Food Guide on the refrigerator and worked to follow it most of the time.
Healthy options were always available.
I taught my children and my grandchild to cook, and home cooking is a recreation we all enjoy.
I didn't banish any foods.
Even though I tried cooking from scratch most of the time, my children listed their top favourite foods to be KFC and Kraft dinner.
They got over it. 0 -
Despite my various issues with weight, I was never overweight into well into adulthood and what I think helped and makes it easy for me now is that we always ate pretty sensibly -- balanced meals, vegetables, dinners out or pizza as a special treat not an every day thing. Soda wasn't an every day kind of drink, desserts were appropriately sized (or a special occasion thing). I also learned to cook some as a kid, although I really learned when out on my own in my 20s, but it wasn't a scary or new thing to me.
I would have thought this was commonplace, but from many posts on MFP it seems it's maybe not, so I think just modeling what a sensible meal contains, in a bunch of different ways, and without seeming neurotic about it (going overboard in being restrictive or eating only stuff you think of as super healthy, etc.).
I would be as casual as possible about the weighing and just say that it helps you understand serving sizes, if asked, and I definitely wouldn't act stressed about eating food you couldn't weigh. I weigh stuff when I'm cooking or plating in the kitchen, so depending on the set up it might not even be super noticeable although I wouldn't hide it.0 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »Despite my various issues with weight, I was never overweight into well into adulthood and what I think helped and makes it easy for me now is that we always ate pretty sensibly -- balanced meals, vegetables, dinners out or pizza as a special treat not an every day thing. Soda wasn't an every day kind of drink, desserts were appropriately sized (or a special occasion thing). I also learned to cook some as a kid, although I really learned when out on my own in my 20s, but it wasn't a scary or new thing to me.
I would have thought this was commonplace, but from many posts on MFP it seems it's maybe not, so I think just modeling what a sensible meal contains, in a bunch of different ways, and without seeming neurotic about it (going overboard in being restrictive or eating only stuff you think of as super healthy, etc.).
I would be as casual as possible about the weighing and just say that it helps you understand serving sizes, if asked, and I definitely wouldn't act stressed about eating food you couldn't weigh. I weigh stuff when I'm cooking or plating in the kitchen, so depending on the set up it might not even be super noticeable although I wouldn't hide it.
This, except I wouldn't be vague. I would explain to them the reason you use a scale is to teach yourself correct portion sizes and that it's a kitchen tool just like a measuring spoon or cup. And definitely teach them to cook!0 -
From the research I've done it seems children only need to be taught a few things: what and how to eat (so portion control and eating slowly), to stop when full (so "eat everything on your plate" needs to go), no restricted foods (one study I read found that children of parents who restricted food at more of the "bad" food than children who's parents didn't and they ate even though they told the researchers they weren't hungry), and to keep reintroducing vegetable and other foods the child doesn't like when young because they're taste palette isn't all that developed and set for a preference for sweet foods.0
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I have 3 little boys; 7, 5 and 2 years old. All of my kids are normal weight, all are active.
What I tell them is that they need to listen to their bodies and stop when they feel full. The leftovers are usually given to the animals. I like giving our chickens leftovers because it doesn't feel wasted, they turn it into eggs for us.
We have no restricted foods but we do have limited foods. They can have one cookie, not five. They can have a half a cup of ice cream, not a cup and a half. They get lots of treats in small portions (really what I consider proportionate to their body size). They've never snuck food and never binged when faced with a buffet style situation like at a party.
My parents, especially my mother, had weird unhealthy attitudes toward food so I am pretty easy breezy with my kids about it. I don't engage in food battles. If I serve something that they reject there's always the option of a PB sandwich or PB and apples or something. I keep reintroducing stuff though even though they may claim to not like it. If they don't eat it, fine. Maybe next time.
My 7 year old does taekwondo and is actually pretty interested in sports nutrition. He likes the idea of eating to fuel his body. I've told him what macronutrients are and what they do, he's always asking what things are made of. "Mom is this salami just protein or protein and fat?" etc.
All three of them love to help me cook and bake and follow recipes. It's important to me that they learn how to cook.0 -
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I was raised as a member of the clean plate club. I've been trying to teach my children to listen to their bodies and stop eating when they are satisfied, not when their plates are clean.
We've never restricted foods, but we do control portions. Healthy snacks are always abundantly available whenever the kids are hungry. Less-nutritious snacks are also often available, but in moderation.
Most cooking is done from scratch with fresh ingredients and everyone eats the same meal together. We have never allowed our children to be picky eaters and have always regularly reintroduced foods that they have rejected. If there is a vegetable served at a meal that a particular child does not want, they are required to take one small bite. There are always vegetables/fruits served at each meal that I know everyone likes, as well. I have also accepted that there are just some foods they will never like (we all have those foods), and they don't have to eat them.0 -
Our kids are now past college and when I reflect I think my biggest failing was not encouraging them enough to embrace exercise. We unfortunately lived in a neighborhood where kids did not play outside and bicycles were not the go to transport. They were taken to activities but we did not play active things together.
Both children grew up vegetarian like their parents. My daughter continues to be so, and shares her father's unhealthy attraction towards candy but she knows what a healthy diet is. My son turned to the worse that America can offer as soon as he left home for college and has already gained 50 lbs. He is in for a bumpy ride.
I think healthy eating is best learned by example:
1. Eat only when hungry
2. Do not shovel food
3. Vegetables for snacks, moderate snacks
4. Do not eat until you are stuffed
5. Eat a lot at home, cook together.
6. Restrict highly processed food and make plants the center of any diet.
7. In general, drink water rather than soda or juices.0 -
I didn't mean restricting kids from having any food. But how do you think we can teach kids to have a healthy relationship with food? At times I wonder if watching me measuring each and every food can have a reverse impact on kids!! What are those habits which you feel you could have learned bit earlier?
What I have done is discuss nutrition with my dd. There are books and web sites for kids on this topic. We have discussed what kinds of foods our bodies need and why. We don't call food junk or unhealthy.
I don't force dd to eat foods she hates. I ask her to try things and provide a variety of foods but we aren't going to battle over food. I encourage dd to think about her choices and try to have a balance of foods. If she is skipping whole food groups in favor of one kind of food I might remind her to choose a food with some protein or something else now.
We keep fruit out on the counter and put other food away.
We don't buy a bunch of drinks.
We eat food prepared at home most of the time. We've discussed the cost of food we prepare from ingredients vs pre-made or restaurant meals. We do eat out sometimes but it isn't cheaper.
I encourage dd not to eat out of containers but portion food out. I think being aware of reasonable portion sizes is good. I don't think seeing a parent weigh and measure food is going to negatively impact kids unless the parent is negative about doing it. I would think younger kids might find it interesting or fun to see how much food weighs.
Recently we've talked more about how people of different sizes and activity levels need a different amount of calories and not judging others by what is on their plate or in their cart.
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I am very serious about my kid not growing up huge like I did. She is thin, and only almost 3, but I want to keep her healthy. I work 130-10pm, and I know my husband gives her bites of whatever all day. That is probably why she doesn't eat much of her actual meals, and I wish he would give her less frozen meals, but he is a full time engineering student and it's fast.0
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IMO it doesn't matter. Kids that can eat whatever they want when they want might end up fat (like me). Kids whose parents insist on healthier snacks might end up binging when they move out and get fat... It's a crapshoot. Do the best you can...0
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IMO, it boils down to just correct discipline. You can teach kids all the right info, but that doesn't mean they will follow it. Kids know that homework is important, but if you leave it up to them to make the decision to actually do it or not, most kids will likely opt out.
I allow my DD to eat what she likes AS LONG AS she also is getting in correct nutritional essentials she needs on a daily basis and isn't exceeding her calories too much. She's pretty much figured it out now.
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She still eats really healthy stuff. If it was up to her, she would eat 100 bananas, apples and pears all day every day. I'm not too worried about it yet, she's still really thin. We just will forget that she has a tiny stomach sometimes, I think0
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Lots of great advice here!
My son is almost 2.5, and he's a great eater. Since he could chew properly, we've fed him what we eat, which tends to be about 80% healthy / 20% indulgent. Sharing the same meal is great for bonding as well!
I think keeping all "junk" away from kids doesn't necessarily help teach them to exercise good eating habits. I also try not to project my preferences on him. For instance, I hate raw celery, while it turns out he loves it. I agree with those above that said the "clean your plate" rule is a bad idea. I think even my toddler knows if he's hungry or not, and if he tells me he's done I believe him.
As for explaining the purpose of weighing food, I would tell my son if he asked that I just wanted to make sure I got the right amount of nutritious food for my body.0 -
I like Ellen Sattler's division of responsibility...also raising healthy eaters is a great blog for parents!0
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generally speaking, young kids are pretty intuitive eaters. as parents, one of the best things we can do is lead by example. if you eat well as a family, it's pretty likely that those habits will carry over into their adulthood. if they see you exercising regularly, it's more likely they will follow suite and value regular physical activity, etc.
i also make a point to engage in regular physical activity with them...we regularly go on family bike rides together and even participate in family fun rides like the Day of the Tread (my 5 y.o. was stoked to complete 25 miles on his pedal trailer)...we walk the dog together...we go swimming in the summer...we play ball in the backyard...we go hiking in the mountains, etc.
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Raised by the empty plate club, too. When I was six I refused to eat the peas. Canned peas. Boiled long enough to be sterile. And the color of army green. And shrivelled. Mom recalls I won that argument. All I can remember is spending an eternity sitting in the kitchen alone with those peas.0
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The clean plate club is the reason I HAD TO FINISH everything on my plate in any setting. I have eaten until I could be sick my entire life. It's something my parents regret, I think, and I'm not going to do that to my kid. Sometimes she will eat her fruit first, and only want a few bites of her sandwich.0
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Kimegatron wrote: »The clean plate club is the reason I HAD TO FINISH everything on my plate in any setting. I have eaten until I could be sick my entire life. It's something my parents regret, I think, and I'm not going to do that to my kid. Sometimes she will eat her fruit first, and only want a few bites of her sandwich.
Well, it depends. I make my kids finish their plates, but I don't give them much food, and they say that they are hungry and want dessert 30 minutes later, so... you bet they're going to finish their plates first...
As I said though, we all blame our parents - either they restricted too much, or they let you eat everything you wanted like mine... I'm starting to think that it just depends on the kids in the end - some kids will naturally stop eating when they're not hungry, some won't stop until they're stuffed because they just really love food. My kids say no to dessert or don't finish it sometimes - that would have NEVER happened with me. I was talking to my mom about how my kids get crazy sometimes when we eat out and she said that never happened to us because we loved eating too much.
So IMO it really mostly depends on the kids, so again, it's really a crapshoot.0 -
I changed my diet totally at the beginning of this year. I got out cutting boards, assorted vegetables and started making stir-fry, saute and salads and soup, roasted meats/fish/chicken and omelets for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I didn't expect anybody to eat like me but all my young children totally copied me and now make these same things in the kitchen with me. It really shocks me to see them volunteer to eat salad or stir-fry for breakfast. It smells awesome and the colorful veggies/kitchen tools look like fun, so then they wanted to do it, too. It's been a wonderful side-benefit to losing 30 unhealthy pounds and gaining awesome health and eating habits!0
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I didn't mean restricting kids from having any food. But how do you think we can teach kids to have a healthy relationship with food? At times I wonder if watching me measuring each and every food can have a reverse impact on kids!! What are those habits which you feel you could have learned bit earlier?
What all the others say...but what is important also is:
Tell them postivly why you weigh your food.
So NOT i weigh because i can not have more of this food
But
I weigh to know if i get enough or the right nutrition's.
Be positive and casual ...after all it is normal to fee your body the right (amount) of nutrition's. But also that piece of pizza or ice cream.
Be casual
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Model healthy habits. Period. Words sound like the adults in Charlie Brown to them. Mwah mwah mwah. And yes, as was said above, parenting is brutal business. Go easy on yourself. We can never teach them everything they need to know. They will need to make their own mistakes.0
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My kids can teach me some things!! But both my girls are underweight for their age (9 and 7) so i do make them eat their food which is not usually a huge amount left (one to two bites) but their little bodies need it. My eldest is taking medication which reduces her appetite so i have to continually watch what she is eating... Oh your hungry? No you cannot have a cookie until you have some real food first. BUT its because she is almost 4'8" and under 60lb. So she needs to eat the nutrient dense foods first but i don't deprive her. and she will tell me mom that isn't healthy for you!0
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Kimegatron wrote: »The clean plate club is the reason I HAD TO FINISH everything on my plate in any setting. I have eaten until I could be sick my entire life. It's something my parents regret, I think, and I'm not going to do that to my kid. Sometimes she will eat her fruit first, and only want a few bites of her sandwich.
Well, it depends. I make my kids finish their plates, but I don't give them much food, and they say that they are hungry and want dessert 30 minutes later, so... you bet they're going to finish their plates first...
As I said though, we all blame our parents - either they restricted too much, or they let you eat everything you wanted like mine... I'm starting to think that it just depends on the kids in the end - some kids will naturally stop eating when they're not hungry, some won't stop until they're stuffed because they just really love food. My kids say no to dessert or don't finish it sometimes - that would have NEVER happened with me. I was talking to my mom about how my kids get crazy sometimes when we eat out and she said that never happened to us because we loved eating too much.
So IMO it really mostly depends on the kids, so again, it's really a crapshoot.
I once sat at the dinner table alone for hours and wasn't allowed to leave until it was all gone. I cried while eating just so I could go to bed. I was like 6. Trust me, I talked about this a lot when I used to go to therapy lol0 -
Kimegatron wrote: »Kimegatron wrote: »The clean plate club is the reason I HAD TO FINISH everything on my plate in any setting. I have eaten until I could be sick my entire life. It's something my parents regret, I think, and I'm not going to do that to my kid. Sometimes she will eat her fruit first, and only want a few bites of her sandwich.
Well, it depends. I make my kids finish their plates, but I don't give them much food, and they say that they are hungry and want dessert 30 minutes later, so... you bet they're going to finish their plates first...
As I said though, we all blame our parents - either they restricted too much, or they let you eat everything you wanted like mine... I'm starting to think that it just depends on the kids in the end - some kids will naturally stop eating when they're not hungry, some won't stop until they're stuffed because they just really love food. My kids say no to dessert or don't finish it sometimes - that would have NEVER happened with me. I was talking to my mom about how my kids get crazy sometimes when we eat out and she said that never happened to us because we loved eating too much.
So IMO it really mostly depends on the kids, so again, it's really a crapshoot.
I once sat at the dinner table alone for hours and wasn't allowed to leave until it was all gone. I cried while eating just so I could go to bed. I was like 6. Trust me, I talked about this a lot when I used to go to therapy lol
Been there myself too. I dont force my kids to do that one. If they cant finish in half and hour (or and hour if they have been talking like my youngest loves to do) thats it. No sweets. It goes in the fridge and if they say they are hungry before bed thats what they have to finish.
Which RARELY happens anymore.0 -
I didn't gain this weight I have now until after my son left the house but I have had to work to maintain a healthy weight since some weight gain/loss in my teen years. I would echo the lead by example with the example being moderation. I never forced to my son to eat food he didn't like as there was plenty of healthy food he did like (and heck, I don't eat things I hate) and I figured he knew when he was hungry and when he was full. We always had lots of good, easy food to eat like fruit, yogurt, stuff like that. As for "junk food" we just made it a habit if we wanted some, we would portion out some and just have that. For instance, if we wanted cookies, we would take a couple cookies and put the bag way and not just sit there mindlessly eating out of the bag. We did a lot of exercise as well, both formal exercise and stuff like biking, hiking, swimming, etc. It seems to have rubbed off as he's always been very active and a healthy weight.
All that said, I also agree with the "raising kids is a crapshoot" comments and at some point they'll make their own decision and there's not much we can do about that.0 -
My oldest had a nutrition unit in school and came home from school afraid of sugar. So we had our own little biochem lesson and talked about how sugar is good, as are protein and fat, and you need a good balance of the three to support healthy growth and development.
When they need guidance in making different food choices, I will go over the macronutrient content and they use that info to make their choice. That is how I finally got the oldest to eat eggs.
My approach to food and diet was similar to my approach to "where do babies come from." Honest, straightforward, and so thoroughly grounded in science that their little eyes glaze over.0
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