3/5 of the way to my goal-don't see or feel much difference-not sure how to respond to questions
stachesquatch
Posts: 18 Member
I've lost 120lbs since oct 2012. (It would have been more, but I took 2014 off.) Regardless, I've lost 120lbs and that should feel like an accomplishment. I still need to lose another 80ish, I think, but that's not really a whole lot in the grand scheme of things. (I started at 410lb. back in 12) I'll weigh around 200lb by sometime in early 2017.
The problem I'm having is that I don't really feel any different. But people keep saying how different I look now and then I get this string of questions about whether the benefits of weight loss are true and "how do you feel now?" etc... I don't want to say that though. My knees never really hurt, so they don't feel better. I have the same amount of energy. I'm certainly not any less tired. My blood pressure was never particularly high (aside from when commuting through traffic), my blood work has always been very good. There wasn't been any room for improvement there. I didn't grow a personality, so I'm not getting more attention from the ladies (why does everyone ask this constantly?) When I look in the mirror, I still just see the same me that I saw 3 years ago. I'm not really sure what I expected to happen when I started losing weight, other than to just lose weight. But everyone else seems to expect so much. I don't know how to respond to any of it. I personally don't see any difference other than the scale and my pants size. I don't want to discourage anyone though. So, is there a point when it all just sort of "clicks"?
Is that something that happens when one reaches their goal weight? Cause, yes 120lb is a lot, but I'm still 80lb overweight, so part of me says, "lose the 80lb and you'll feel all this stuff everyone is asking about." But intellectually I don't really see that happening. From a perception standpoint, how long should it take for me to accept that I'm not the 400lb man anymore? I've never not been fat, so I'm aware there will be some kind of learning curve here. But how long? Is anyone else struggling with this?
The problem I'm having is that I don't really feel any different. But people keep saying how different I look now and then I get this string of questions about whether the benefits of weight loss are true and "how do you feel now?" etc... I don't want to say that though. My knees never really hurt, so they don't feel better. I have the same amount of energy. I'm certainly not any less tired. My blood pressure was never particularly high (aside from when commuting through traffic), my blood work has always been very good. There wasn't been any room for improvement there. I didn't grow a personality, so I'm not getting more attention from the ladies (why does everyone ask this constantly?) When I look in the mirror, I still just see the same me that I saw 3 years ago. I'm not really sure what I expected to happen when I started losing weight, other than to just lose weight. But everyone else seems to expect so much. I don't know how to respond to any of it. I personally don't see any difference other than the scale and my pants size. I don't want to discourage anyone though. So, is there a point when it all just sort of "clicks"?
Is that something that happens when one reaches their goal weight? Cause, yes 120lb is a lot, but I'm still 80lb overweight, so part of me says, "lose the 80lb and you'll feel all this stuff everyone is asking about." But intellectually I don't really see that happening. From a perception standpoint, how long should it take for me to accept that I'm not the 400lb man anymore? I've never not been fat, so I'm aware there will be some kind of learning curve here. But how long? Is anyone else struggling with this?
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Personality wise, I never changed either, when I went from 240 to 155lbs at my lightest. The biggest change was just knowing I accomplished something that, in general, is very difficult to do, for most people.
You should be proud of yourself for losing so much weight! Also take comfort in the fact, you're going to dramatically reduce the chances of acquiring a obesity related disease, with each new pound that you drop.
I will say tho, the difference in energy, from 240 to 200 wasn't noticeable at all for me... it really wasn't til I started reaching a proper weight for my height, that I noticed the health benefits much more.
In the end, everyone is different, in how their life changes when you lose the weight. But take comfort in the things I mentioned above... you definitely have alot to be proud of thus far.
Keep going tho! It's worth it!
Have you lost weight through diet alone? Or do you incorporate exercise as well?0 -
I started at 365 and I'm 230 now. I still struggle with what you're talking about. For me the health side of the equation has seen night and day improvements so I take that as a positive. Looks/feeling wise it's hit or miss in my mind. Do I look/feel better? Sure. I have more energy and I'm far more active. I obviously look better than I did when I was at my highest and I clean up better in nice clothes. Do I have the "holy crap you look amazing" thing? Nah. I'm in the same boat you described. I lost weight to end up...obese. Still have rolls. Still in size 36/38 pants. Shirts usually have XL on the tag (though at least the 3 isn't in front of it like before). The way it looks now I still have 30lbs to lose to just be lucky enough to be overweight. Being average? That ship has sank. The kicker. With the way my weight loss has slowed this could take a whopping 30+ weeks at a bonkers low 1700 a day average (I do high/low days). It's certainly not the cake walk to abs success story everyone else seems to have. It can seem like a downer but you just have to tell yourself you're better off than before.0
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I have found the easiest way to answer questions that I'm uncomfortable with, but aren't offensive, and are more about the asker than they are about me is just to make a non-committal agreement, "Yup, I love being healthier." "Mhmm, I feel great." It drives me nuts when people ask me this stuff - I feel like everyone is watching and I'm not getting healthier for them so why do they feel they have the right to comment? But on the flip side I *know* they are just trying to be supportive (not invasive which is how I feel) and so I give them short positive responses - then change the topic.
Also, I admire your discipline.0 -
Negative_X wrote: »Have you lost weight through diet alone? Or do you incorporate exercise as well?
I don't exactly exercise. I do dance a lot. I can have anywhere from 4-7hrs of dance class per week, depending on whether the studio needs an assistant. Plus a couple hours of dancing outside that to keep my skills up. But it's irregular. I also do a fair bit of sailing and volunteer work, so that's a workout, but only 2-3 times a month. I'll do some photography 2-3 times a month on weekends when I don't sail. That usually involves a lot of climbing, hiking, and hauling 20-30lb of equipment around, usually above my head. I do hike when the weather and my schedule permit, maybe 5-8miles once a week or twice a month. It's all so inconsistent that I don't know if I can really count on exercise for weightloss. Between that stuff and the desk job, I haven't figured out how to include actual exercises such as weight lifting. I do wear a fitbit and I have it linked to my account, but I don't really pay much attention to it. I just try to stay around 1900-2100 calories in a day.
Exercise is supposed to help with energy though, right? I mean, I should try to fit it in the schedule I suppose.
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My goal was to lose 25 pounds. After I'd lost half of it, I was a little flabby. But after I'd lost 3/4's of it, I started liking how my clothes looked. I've also been working out and doing weights before work and I like that I actually had little enough fat so I could feel the muscles. Ok, I can't quite see them but in 5 pounds I will.
My point is that you've come a very far distance on this journey. I'd bet in 80 pounds your "success story" will be that after losing 2/3 rds of your weight you were still obese, but could hike and sail and lead a normal life. After you'd lost 80% you started to feel like the wetsuit of fat was finally leaving and you could feel your muscular body lurking underneath waiting to spring out. At goal weight, you remembered the skinny kid you once were. Well, that's just what I hope for you, at any rate. I wish you the best.0 -
CalorieCountChocula wrote: »The way it looks now I still have 30lbs to lose to just be lucky enough to be overweight. Being average? That ship has sank. The kicker. With the way my weight loss has slowed this could take a whopping 30+ weeks at a bonkers low 1700 a day average (I do high/low days). It's certainly not the cake walk to abs success story everyone else seems to have. It can seem like a downer but you just have to tell yourself you're better off than before.
Why is being average weight sunk? I mean the way I look at it, I still have the whole future to keep going at it till I either get there or get fried by lightening. It definitely isn't a fast process (my average has been 0.73lb per week) but it doesn't end till we choose to quit. Also what really is average? I'm not really sure what my goal weight should be. The BMI chart covers what seems to be an absurd range of 150lb-190lb for my height. I have no frame of reference to work from for myself though. Up till october I had never been below 300lb as an adult. I sort of figure I'll get to 200-220lb and figure things out from there, but I just have no clue beyond that.0 -
MADglow2016 wrote: »I have found the easiest way to answer questions that I'm uncomfortable with, but aren't offensive, and are more about the asker than they are about me is just to make a non-committal agreement, "Yup, I love being healthier." "Mhmm, I feel great." It drives me nuts when people ask me this stuff - I feel like everyone is watching and I'm not getting healthier for them so why do they feel they have the right to comment? But on the flip side I *know* they are just trying to be supportive (not invasive which is how I feel) and so I give them short positive responses - then change the topic.
Also, I admire your discipline.
I think people are hard-wired to comment. Maybe it is a survival thing, like a small part of the brain forces people to ask questions or comment on things just so that we can collect even a small bit of knowledge and maybe apply it to life. Some of us do it with less tact than others, but I'm sure it comes from a good place! I just wish I had more encouraging things to tell people when they do ask. Right now I mostly default to the same kind of non-committal agreements that you use.
Also thank you!0 -
stachesquatch wrote: »CalorieCountChocula wrote: »The way it looks now I still have 30lbs to lose to just be lucky enough to be overweight. Being average? That ship has sank. The kicker. With the way my weight loss has slowed this could take a whopping 30+ weeks at a bonkers low 1700 a day average (I do high/low days). It's certainly not the cake walk to abs success story everyone else seems to have. It can seem like a downer but you just have to tell yourself you're better off than before.
Why is being average weight sunk? I mean the way I look at it, I still have the whole future to keep going at it till I either get there or get fried by lightening. It definitely isn't a fast process (my average has been 0.73lb per week) but it doesn't end till we choose to quit. Also what really is average? I'm not really sure what my goal weight should be. The BMI chart covers what seems to be an absurd range of 150lb-190lb for my height. I have no frame of reference to work from for myself though. Up till october I had never been below 300lb as an adult. I sort of figure I'll get to 200-220lb and figure things out from there, but I just have no clue beyond that.
200 was my original goal. 199 technically just so I can say I'm under 200 for the first time in 20 years or so. It's still my long term "well hopefully this will happen" but I'm a realist and I've been doing this a long time already. After 5 years, the last two of which I've struggled with a almost unexplainable ability to get under 225 (I've bounced between 225 and 250 depending on how well I tolerate feeling like I'm starving). The lowest I've ever gotten is 222 eating about the same number of calories I am now. I'm just not sure how much more I can cut out. What's next? Just 1000? Then start running 10 miles a day when that stops working? I mean what's the point of all this if it takes so long I'll never enjoy it. Is it really going to be fun to be 199 finally when I'm 60. I'd like to look good now like I should of 2 years ago before I hit this random arbitrary wall. I mean who stops losing weight at 230lbs? It makes no sense.0 -
For me, I didn't notice a difference until I went from an obese BMI to overweight BMI. Now that I am a healthy BMI, I notice a big difference in how I feel from when I was obese. For example: I have more energy, my sleep apnea went away, I don't get winded walking up five flights of stairs, I can walk 16 miles before I start feeling tired, my cholesterol is low, my thyroid is only borderline hypo, my menstruation cycle started back up, etc.0
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CalorieCountChocula wrote: »stachesquatch wrote: »CalorieCountChocula wrote: »The way it looks now I still have 30lbs to lose to just be lucky enough to be overweight. Being average? That ship has sank. The kicker. With the way my weight loss has slowed this could take a whopping 30+ weeks at a bonkers low 1700 a day average (I do high/low days). It's certainly not the cake walk to abs success story everyone else seems to have. It can seem like a downer but you just have to tell yourself you're better off than before.
Why is being average weight sunk? I mean the way I look at it, I still have the whole future to keep going at it till I either get there or get fried by lightening. It definitely isn't a fast process (my average has been 0.73lb per week) but it doesn't end till we choose to quit. Also what really is average? I'm not really sure what my goal weight should be. The BMI chart covers what seems to be an absurd range of 150lb-190lb for my height. I have no frame of reference to work from for myself though. Up till october I had never been below 300lb as an adult. I sort of figure I'll get to 200-220lb and figure things out from there, but I just have no clue beyond that.
200 was my original goal. 199 technically just so I can say I'm under 200 for the first time in 20 years or so. It's still my long term "well hopefully this will happen" but I'm a realist and I've been doing this a long time already. After 5 years, the last two of which I've struggled with a almost unexplainable ability to get under 225 (I've bounced between 225 and 250 depending on how well I tolerate feeling like I'm starving). The lowest I've ever gotten is 222 eating about the same number of calories I am now. I'm just not sure how much more I can cut out. What's next? Just 1000? Then start running 10 miles a day when that stops working? I mean what's the point of all this if it takes so long I'll never enjoy it. Is it really going to be fun to be 199 finally when I'm 60. I'd like to look good now like I should of 2 years ago before I hit this random arbitrary wall. I mean who stops losing weight at 230lbs? It makes no sense.
I'm not sure if what I'm about to say will make much sense, but is there a way to focus on turning that excess weight into muscle instead? Like maintain the current weight, but do strength training type stuff? I guess that would be changing body composition? Not that I really know your situation... But I am trying to understand what options one has at a plateau. So far my plateaus have all been clearly linked to an event like a holiday, party, client lunches, business trips, or (as is the case in 2014) a relationship with someone who sadly wasn't the right person. But each plateau is explainable, so far... One of my big fears is that I will hit the unknown plateau that some people talk about and not figure out how to get past it. It does get slower for most people as they approach goal weight, right?0 -
For me, I didn't notice a difference until I went from an obese BMI to overweight BMI. Now that I am a healthy BMI, I notice a big difference in how I feel from when I was obese. For example: I have more energy, my sleep apnea went away, I don't get winded walking up five flights of stairs, I can walk 16 miles before I start feeling tired, my cholesterol is low, my thyroid is only borderline hypo, my menstruation cycle started back up, etc.
Ok, thank you, I find this reassuring. I guess I've got another 40lb or so to lose before I get down into the "overweight" range. Some of this is stuff I've never really had an issue with even at 400lb. My cholesterol has always been very low, to the point where the dr expressed concern, LDL being in the 40s and HDL in the 50s, but it would be nice to be able to sleep better and to have more energy. I think the energy is the big thing that's bothering me. That is the first or second thing people ask when they find out how much weight I've lost. "Oh do you have more energy now?" In my head i'm thinking, ugh... nope...
But I don't want to say that! People are asking because they want encouragement to join in, I think. Maybe they're just asking because they're bored or curious, I dunno. Anyway, thank you! I'll not worry so much about where I'm at now and shall look forward seeing the benefits after another 40lb. 0 -
So were you able to do all this hiking and sailing and dancing and climbing when you were 400 pounds? I was 300 at my highest and I could barely make it through the grocery store without having to sit down and rest!
If you could do all that at your heaviest, then you are blessed with an unusual amount of energy indeed! You could just answer peoples comments by saying, "Well I've always been able to keep active and I still love a good adventure!"
If you are able to do more of that kind of thing now than before then you can say, "I love getting out there and being even more active than I could before!"0 -
stachesquatch wrote: »CalorieCountChocula wrote: »stachesquatch wrote: »CalorieCountChocula wrote: »The way it looks now I still have 30lbs to lose to just be lucky enough to be overweight. Being average? That ship has sank. The kicker. With the way my weight loss has slowed this could take a whopping 30+ weeks at a bonkers low 1700 a day average (I do high/low days). It's certainly not the cake walk to abs success story everyone else seems to have. It can seem like a downer but you just have to tell yourself you're better off than before.
Why is being average weight sunk? I mean the way I look at it, I still have the whole future to keep going at it till I either get there or get fried by lightening. It definitely isn't a fast process (my average has been 0.73lb per week) but it doesn't end till we choose to quit. Also what really is average? I'm not really sure what my goal weight should be. The BMI chart covers what seems to be an absurd range of 150lb-190lb for my height. I have no frame of reference to work from for myself though. Up till october I had never been below 300lb as an adult. I sort of figure I'll get to 200-220lb and figure things out from there, but I just have no clue beyond that.
200 was my original goal. 199 technically just so I can say I'm under 200 for the first time in 20 years or so. It's still my long term "well hopefully this will happen" but I'm a realist and I've been doing this a long time already. After 5 years, the last two of which I've struggled with a almost unexplainable ability to get under 225 (I've bounced between 225 and 250 depending on how well I tolerate feeling like I'm starving). The lowest I've ever gotten is 222 eating about the same number of calories I am now. I'm just not sure how much more I can cut out. What's next? Just 1000? Then start running 10 miles a day when that stops working? I mean what's the point of all this if it takes so long I'll never enjoy it. Is it really going to be fun to be 199 finally when I'm 60. I'd like to look good now like I should of 2 years ago before I hit this random arbitrary wall. I mean who stops losing weight at 230lbs? It makes no sense.
I'm not sure if what I'm about to say will make much sense, but is there a way to focus on turning that excess weight into muscle instead? Like maintain the current weight, but do strength training type stuff? I guess that would be changing body composition? Not that I really know your situation... But I am trying to understand what options one has at a plateau. So far my plateaus have all been clearly linked to an event like a holiday, party, client lunches, business trips, or (as is the case in 2014) a relationship with someone who sadly wasn't the right person. But each plateau is explainable, so far... One of my big fears is that I will hit the unknown plateau that some people talk about and not figure out how to get past it. It does get slower for most people as they approach goal weight, right?
I'll concede that all plateaus are explainable in the sense that "you're eating too much" fits into the whole physics side of things. At some point though it's like, "wow, so 1800 is really too much for me?" I will say changing your body composition is definitely a thing even if the results might not look as drastic as a guy that's going form 200 and chubby to 185 and ripped. I feel like I've done better for myself by lifting than if I hadn't. For me 230 lifting weights beats 230 and sedentary in other words.0
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