I have 35 to lose seeking support

Appreciate your encouragement! - thank you! I drink spring water and just joined a Gym. Much toooo easy to find excuse not to go. I know it is just a matter of just do it! I need to stay committed. I think I feel it is impossible from years of starting and giving up when the cravings never go away! I worked out with a trainer a few years ago. I know what to do and just need to apply it. I lost a lot of my confidence through some very difficult things such as my late husband who was a physician committed suicide. Is it more matter of loving myself to do this? This is some of it I think. Thanks so much.