Shut up about your goals (article)

jemhh
jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
edited November 2024 in Health and Weight Loss
Just read this and found it interesting: https://www.t-nation.com/powerful-words/tip-shut-up-about-your-goals

For me, not announcing my goals tends to work well. Other than what I get from my husband, encouragement that I get along the way doesn't help me at all. I like the "good job!" comments once I hit a goal though. I almost get self conscious about trying to meet a goal if I announce it.

Do you like announcing your goals or do you find it counterproductive?
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Replies

  • shadowfax_c11
    shadowfax_c11 Posts: 1,942 Member
    Nope. I don't announce goals. I don't talk about what I am doing to lose weight except to a few very close friends who are interested and encouraging. I personally don't feel the need to receive praise for doing what I should be doing. I appreciate the occasional compliments I get from friends as they have started to notice but I don't need them. I get more out of seeing the changes in how I look in the mirror and how my clothes feel and especially how much better I feel physically.
  • Unknown
    edited December 2015
    This content has been removed.
  • boomshakalaka911
    boomshakalaka911 Posts: 655 Member
    The harsh truth is people don't care about your goals. Which is why I never announce them.
  • Bbeliever215
    Bbeliever215 Posts: 234 Member
    edited December 2015
    The harsh truth is people don't care about your goals. Which is why I never announce them.

    Bingo. Unfortunately, most ppl (including family and close friends ) don't really "care" as it isn't pertaining to them or affect them in most matters. I don't think that it's mean in any way, just human behavior.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    Nope. When I'm ready to do something I just do it, I don't need external motivation.
  • toe1226
    toe1226 Posts: 249 Member
    I often take "dry months" where I don't drink at all, because it helps me a lot with my goals - the not drinking isn't the goal perse, it is more the mechanism for achieving the goal. Anyways, I always let my friends know when I'm not drinking, otherwise, they will pour drinks for me and put drinks in my hands before I know what hit me.
  • nordlead2005
    nordlead2005 Posts: 1,303 Member
    If I'm talking to you about something I'll mention some of my goals. I mean, I have no problem saying I have a 2x bodyweight deadlift goal. I'm at 285x5 so I have a decent way to go. I have a 20 pull up goal, and I just hit 5 in a set today. But, I won't normally tell you about those goals unless you ask about my lifting and want to chat about it. No one on Facebook knows my goals, but a few friends and family members do.

    I have a goal to do a tough mudder type event next summer. I'm not sure if I'll actually do it, but that has little to do with announcing my goal and more to do with wishing I could find someone who wanted to do it with me.
  • PeachyCarol
    PeachyCarol Posts: 8,029 Member
    Meh. I don't make a point of announcing my goals just for the sake of doing so, but if a subject comes up about something I'm already working on, I might mention it.
  • robertw486
    robertw486 Posts: 2,401 Member
    jemhh wrote: »
    Just read this and found it interesting: https://www.t-nation.com/powerful-words/tip-shut-up-about-your-goals

    For me, not announcing my goals tends to work well. Other than what I get from my husband, encouragement that I get along the way doesn't help me at all. I like the "good job!" comments once I hit a goal though. I almost get self conscious about trying to meet a goal if I announce it.

    Do you like announcing your goals or do you find it counterproductive?

    Having seen some other articles from that site and particular person, the false claims don't surprise me.

    The psychology of setting goals is not carved in stone, and if anyone here finds a psychologist that claims they are, let me know. I'd have to guess they would either have falsified credentials, or be on the fringe edges of what the professional community agrees with.


    There was a recently quoted or linked article from that site about "Predator conditioning", and it was funny as crap. They are essentially trying to convince people that their mindset is the only one that is effective. Complete woo if you ask me.
  • starwhisperer6
    starwhisperer6 Posts: 402 Member
    I have a group of people who know my goals, not because I need compliments but because I like to be right, and a group that would know I "failed" would bother me enough to keep me on task when I would otherwise lose interest. I think it is all about motivation for me.
  • pollypocket1021
    pollypocket1021 Posts: 533 Member
    I figure it's none of anyone's business. And I'd rather everyone think I have something like a good GPA, strong marriage, promotion, or a nice butt because I was endowed with superior protoplasm, not because I had to work for it like a normal person.
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    I've never really spoke about my goals to anyone. Nobody really cares anyway lol

    Right now, If they ask I just tell them I'm at maintenance, when in reality I'm trying to lose a few more kgs.
  • Unknown
    edited December 2015
    This content has been removed.
  • ki4eld
    ki4eld Posts: 1,213 Member
    If it's a legitimate part of the conversation, I'll say something. Other than my doctor's goal weight, I haven't told anyone except @kc4nus about my goals. No one else cares except maybe my kids.
  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
    edited December 2015
    The harsh truth is people don't care about your goals. Which is why I never announce them.

    I disagree. I have friends who have similar interests and I care about their goals. I have followed friends' progress in races live because I care about their race and how they live up to their goals.
    I belong to a running and triathlon club. A common conversation is about your upcoming goals. People ask. I'm sure some are just being polite but some do care.
    Not everyone is going to care, sure. I don't talk about my goals to people at work and expect people to care. I don't mention it unless specifically asked. It depends on your audience.
    I have had goals I told no one about, and other ones people knew about. I disagree with the premise that you get satisfaction when you tell people making it less likely you will complete the goal. I'd be embarrassed to tell people about a goal and to fail to reach it. Even if I had a reason, I dislike having to give excuses.


    FTR - I have achieved every goal that I have told people about from competing in bodybuilding to finishing a half Ironman.
  • mkakids
    mkakids Posts: 1,913 Member
    edited December 2015
    I announce some goals.....for example, when i started losing weight, i did not tell everyone that i wanted to lose 90# (25 to go!). I just started watching what i ate and hitting the gym.

    But when i signed up for my first half marathon (ran it nov 28) back in July....i told EVERYONE of my close friends and relatives with 25 minutes of submitting the registration. Mainly so i could NOT back out. If i hadnt done that, i probably would have backed out towards the end of October.

    I did not talk about the race after that though....unless someone brought it up.
  • KathyApplebaum
    KathyApplebaum Posts: 188 Member
    I do the same as @mkakids . I didn't go around announcing that I was losing weight or starting to work out, but it does feel nice when people noticed the results.

    I did announce once when I signed up to run a half marathon this spring, like @mkakids so I won't decide to back out. If people ask, I'll gladly talk their ear off about it, otherwise I figure it's not interesting to them.
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,732 Member
    I'll list goals in "What are your goals for 2016" sorts of threads ... and use that as a kind of reference. Plus it can be kind of interesting to see if anyone else has similar goals.

    But what I will not do is tell someone that I'm about to accomplish one of my goals.

    For example, if one of my goals is to cycle up Mt Wellington, I will do it, but I refuse to tell anyone when ... and in particular, I will not say anything about it in the week or two leading up to the chosen day. The last thing I want are people coming up to me the day after asking how it went. If it went well, I may tell you about it ... if I didn't make it up on that attempt, you won't know anything about it.

    Even with the weight loss. I didn't tell anyone (except my husband) I was doing this until I was well underway, and I have yet to announce a goal weight to anyone.
  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
    Caitwn wrote: »
    robertw486 wrote: »
    jemhh wrote: »
    Just read this and found it interesting: https://www.t-nation.com/powerful-words/tip-shut-up-about-your-goals

    For me, not announcing my goals tends to work well. Other than what I get from my husband, encouragement that I get along the way doesn't help me at all. I like the "good job!" comments once I hit a goal though. I almost get self conscious about trying to meet a goal if I announce it.

    Do you like announcing your goals or do you find it counterproductive?

    Having seen some other articles from that site and particular person, the false claims don't surprise me.

    For the sake of accuracy, the writer on T Nation linked in the OP isn't making false claims. There's a longstanding body of research about the negative aspects of announcing goals. I won't start citing research links here, as that's not the purpose of this thread. If folks are interested in an entertaining summary, though, this TED Talk by Derek Silvers in 2010 is informative and fun to watch:

    https://youtu.be/NHopJHSlVo4?t=3

    I am not able to watch the video so I did some googling. The ones I could find had to do with "identity goals" which could be part of the issue here.

    Also, I found this
    http://www.colipera.com/csi-ted-talks-what-derek-sivers-was-really-saying/
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    jemhh wrote: »
    Just read this and found it interesting: https://www.t-nation.com/powerful-words/tip-shut-up-about-your-goals

    For me, not announcing my goals tends to work well. Other than what I get from my husband, encouragement that I get along the way doesn't help me at all. I like the "good job!" comments once I hit a goal though. I almost get self conscious about trying to meet a goal if I announce it.

    Do you like announcing your goals or do you find it counterproductive?

    I don't announce goals, which right now is about a newly discovered medical condition, to anyone but my partner, who is on his own weight loss and health journey right now.

    I too like when someone compliments me on how far of come, or when I reach a goal and it's noticeable. :)
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    The harsh truth is people don't care about your goals. Which is why I never announce them.

    This may be true for you but it is not true for everyone else. I have people in my life who care about my goals, and I care about the goals of others close to me.
  • somegirlsdo
    somegirlsdo Posts: 37 Member
    I prefer to let my results do the announcing for me
  • toe1226
    toe1226 Posts: 249 Member
    I've thought about this one a few times as I've scrolled past it in the forums...and actually, I think I really disagree with that article.

    That being said, I don't tell a whole lot of people about my goals, however, a big part of my history with disordered eating was secret keeping. Sometimes, letting people know my goals feels a) safer, and b) less shameful.

  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
    edited December 2015
    Very true for me. Talking about my goals is the best way I know to undermine them.

    Goal-setting at all (again for me), works for some things and not others. For plans and some kinds of work that involve far-off goals and a lot of heavy grind in between, I need a crystal clear goal to get me through tough moments. (Again, I keep my goals to myself.)

    For activities and projects in which the process is almost all intrinsically pleasurable - exercise, some hobbies - I much prefer to approach the whole thing in a relaxed, exploratory way. If I have a goal, it's just to do the thing daily (or weekly).

    Re weight loss, I had a nominal and super achievable scale weight goal, but that was less important for me than hooking into the habit of exercise (which was my starting point, rather than diet). I set a habit goal (daily workouts) and soon enough just liked working out enough to keep me hooked. The food part wasn't hard, I started with a plan that involved food I grew up with and enjoyed anyway. Stuck with the (pleasurable) habits, surpassed the goal in no time, didn't bother setting a new one and settled wherever I did because my body wanted to be there with those inputs and outputs.

    For fitness - I did have things like time, weight, or repetition goals, but I still mostly listened to my body. Basically I just liked round numbers when possible, ha.
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
    The harsh truth is people don't care about your goals. Which is why I never announce them.

    I don't know about that. People like to have friends they're proud of, they get a little ego boost from it. So they like it when you reach your goals. And they like to be encouraging, usually, I find.

    What people - who don't work out or diet - dislike is hearing others talk about fitness and diet.
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    Not buying the article.

    I'm more in the Ueli Steck school of announcing goals. Announce them to those that support you, especially mentally. Make the work habit, and the habit is the voice.

    https://youtu.be/UxEtJoK0-jA
  • MarziPanda95
    MarziPanda95 Posts: 1,326 Member
    Occasionally I'll mention it if the topic turns to my weight loss. Otherwise I don't, especially as most of my friends are overweight and aren't happy with themselves about it.
  • Unknown
    edited December 2015
    This content has been removed.
  • Terri2874
    Terri2874 Posts: 28 Member
    Within the next two weeks the mindset of announcing goals goes into overdrive.
    I have several friends who have had the same goal/ resolution for the last six years. I am supportive of anyone doing what they need to do to live a healthier life. Personally I don't announce anything....
    I just do it
  • DM01234
    DM01234 Posts: 317 Member
    Never spoke to anyone when I made my decision to get on a healthier me track. As I continue to modify and morph within the process, I continue to say nothing to anyone. Obviously my results have raised eyebrows, questions and comments (some positive - some not). I try to be polite each and every time but keep my short term and long term plans to myself. I just do it. The only one I'm accountable to is me.
This discussion has been closed.