Shut up about your goals (article)

I find generally that announcing my goals to other people doesn't help motivate me much. To be honest, no-one really cares.

To me it's my own private goal and I'm happy just keeping it to myself. Plus I think I'd end up feeling more ashamed if I slipped up or would feel judged by others if I wasn't progressing as well as I should be, which isn't a healthy mindset for me.

I guess it's individual preference though. I imagine a lot of people find it easier for the same reasons. As long as you're making progress, that's all that matters...

"You are what you do, not what you say you'll do".

I think it depends on the goal and what you enjoy talking about. For fitness goals, I tend to be fairly vocal, especially with fellow exercisers because they have great tips to get me there. When I was training for a marathon, I tried to find everyone I knew who had ever completed one to ask their advice for training/race day. I really enjoy talking to fellow active individuals about their routines and classes that they've tried.

Weight loss is a completely different story for me. Some people really enjoy in person support during their weight loss efforts, but I tend to shy away from the attention. I just think there are a lot more interesting things to talk about then what is on my plate, what my macros are, and have I tried *insert fad diet name here*. No one knows I'm currently using a site to slim down and since I eat almost identically to before I started tracking my food (just smaller portions), no one needs to know. Plus, when it comes to weight loss, there is A LOT of bad advice out there that I just don't want to sit through.

jacksonpt wrote: »

I can see some validity to the article. I think a lot of people don't really want the achievement, they want the approval/praise of others that comes with the achievement (speaking from both first and second hand experience). So when they realize they can get that praise/approval by simply announcing a goal, where's the motivation to work towards it?

Personally, announcing my goals, feedback, approval/criticism, etc... the value of any of that is entirely based on the audience. Same thing with work or parenting or anything else. If you understand what it takes to do whatever it is I'm talking about at the level I'm trying to do it, then your opinion will matter. If you don't, then it probably won't.

Your initial paragraph covers the "identity goals" issue. If you say you want to become a millionaire, and then quit working towards it because people acknowledge you as trying harder to become successful, you substitute positive input and allow it to move your goal posts. But if you truly want the goal, set a reasonable one, and don't give up regardless of outside influence, then your motivation stays the same.

I think it's just an individual thing myself. But I'd suggest to anyone that if they post the original link on a psychology related forum, well be prepared to be the subject of a crap storm. It would be easier to stay here and start a thread on green juice cleanses because they will detox your body. The reactions would probably be similar.

There are a lot of goals that are "announced" without intention of getting praise from others. But for most people it's really hard to say go to school, enlist in the military, travel to other places, etc, without their friends and family knowing. That doesn't make all people fail at their original goals, regardless of outside input. But it all comes down to reasonable and attainable goals, being motivated to reach them, and not caving in if others praise you for what you haven't done.

noobletmcnugget wrote: »

Plus I think I'd end up feeling more ashamed if I slipped up or would feel judged by others if I wasn't progressing as well as I should be, which isn't a healthy mindset for me.

Completely agree with this. I don't share weight loss goals because I'm worried my supportive friends will say "you look like you've lost weight!" when I really haven't, which will make me feel bad, or unsupportive people will go "hey, why are you eating that burrito, I heard you were trying to lose weight."

Sometimes I share interests that are related like "I'm trying to run more often" but not specifics "I'm trying to run a 12 minute mile."

jacksonpt wrote: »

I can see some validity to the article. I think a lot of people don't really want the achievement, they want the approval/praise of others that comes with the achievement (speaking from both first and second hand experience). So when they realize they can get that praise/approval by simply announcing a goal, where's the motivation to work towards it?

Personally, announcing my goals, feedback, approval/criticism, etc... the value of any of that is entirely based on the audience. Same thing with work or parenting or anything else. If you understand what it takes to do whatever it is I'm talking about at the level I'm trying to do it, then your opinion will matter. If you don't, then it probably won't.

Yeah there's truth in this to me. Like with my hobbies, they're hobbies, they offer pleasure. I do want to finish particular things, but I don't have a burning ambition attached to them. I do think some of the things are kind of good though (if I may say so) and would *like* to at least complete them. And yeah why not, have people appreciate them. If I show something unfinished to someone, and they say "that's great", it does take some of the steam out of it for me. If they also do that same activity and offer constructive criticism, I take it on board. If there's mostly "hmmm, I don't know" (which actually doesn't happen that often but I sometimes worry it might), I start doubting myself and the whole thing starts to feel less enjoyable. So although encouragement is nice, I don't show things to people until they're done.

Re big life goals, yeah I'll talk about that sort of thing with a few close people, I just don't go around talking to *everyone* about it.

The fewer opinions in the mix the better, when something's new and fragile, or unusual, imo. (Unless they're trusted opinions from people who have your interest at heart.)

I do have one designated weight loss buddy and we talk about EVERYTHING

Hmph. I'm not sure how I feel about this article. What constitutes "announcing"? On social media? To everyone you encounter? I don't know a lot of folks who immediately relay a list of goals they've set for themselves upon speaking to them - and really the same goes with social media. I do reach out on FB and MFP for support...and it's helped me a great deal. While my Husband is supportive...it took a while for him to come around. He wasn't really sure of what I was doing at first, or if it was going to last. Now I've lost nearly 70 pounds, and as I reach mini-goals I share on FB or other social media outlets...it's really motivated me to continue. Sometimes I will set a new goal and share that with my friends too, I have never found it hindering to my progress, but instead, the support is really helpful.

I think part of what is left out of the article is that we really put far to much faith in others opinions. The more I succeed in meeting my goals the less others opinions of them matter. It's really wonderful to have the support of others, but getting healthy is something that you have to be motivated to do for yourself...because after the "great job" and "keep up the good work"...the attention of those around us ends and it's up to us to continue on. I think really what matters is the intent. We all say things all the time but we don't always say things with intent. In the end, it doesn't really matter if you say your goals or keep them quiet in my opinion. We are all only as serious about something as we choose to be. I think our rate of success or failure is completely dependent on us.

jemhh wrote: »

Just read this and found it interesting: https://www.t-nation.com/powerful-words/tip-shut-up-about-your-goals

For me, not announcing my goals tends to work well. Other than what I get from my husband, encouragement that I get along the way doesn't help me at all. I like the "good job!" comments once I hit a goal though. I almost get self conscious about trying to meet a goal if I announce it.

Do you like announcing your goals or do you find it counterproductive?

I just amazed at the restraint of the author. Normally I would expect to find

and if you really want to meet a goal, don't bother announcing it. Instead, take 2 scoops of BioTest protein daily and then crush all of your goals!

I don't tell people my goals unless it comes up as a part of conversation - explaining why I'm late or why my feet are sore for example. Partly because goals of running a marathon (not in a race, just me and just because I can) are not well understood. Same with dropping a few percentage points of BF or getting back into the swing of lifting just because I'm not as happy with how I feel since I dropped lifting for running. I want to do both and find my happy medium - not kill myself with both like I did before.

I get nothing positive from vague looks of confusion and 'oh, that's nice'.

On the other hand, job-related goals and such I might talk about. Other people get those and will discuss.