Down 50 & Found My Face! - Kind of a long story...

Hi everyone! Let me tell you a bit about myself...
I've always been a chubby kid. Growing up in the age of AIM and MySpace (oh god) the rude things people would say to me at school started coming home. Food was always a comfort, to make me feel better when I was made to feel bad about myself. I grew up in a big family, dad was a chef but both parents were awesome cooks, so food was always around. Even if I was full from dinner I'd still find a way to sneak eat when nobody was looking...bread, cereal, cookies.

When I got to college I didn't have anyone telling me not to eat. My guy friends could wolf down ramen, Mountain Dew and a burrito so why shouldn't I? The Freshman 15 had nothing on me. I moved back home after freshman year to save money since I lived so close to campus and losing that meal swipe card was the best thing for me. I dropped back to my high school jeans and had a perception that everything was fine, since I never stepped on a scale.

Fast forward to 2010/2011 - emotionally abusive relationship - I finally can't handle it anymore and end things with him. My last year of college - not stressful at all right? My dad being sick for over 6 months and passing away two weeks after I graduate. Moving twice in 2011 - once out of my childhood home and the second time to the country far away from everyone I know for a new job. I was isolated and lonely - the 15 lbs I had lost attempting to work out when I lived at my sisters quickly found me again, and then some. I was stagnant, finding and losing the same 10 lbs, thinking that's just where my body wanted to be.

Onward to November 2013- one of my best friends sends a group text to my girlfriends and I asking if any of us were interested in the Cleveland Half Marathon in May. My other two friends immediately said no. I was touched - it had always been a thought that maybe someday if I ever get skinny maybe I could be a runner...maybe. Nobody had ever approached me with the prospect of doing a huge race without assuming I'd just laugh it off and say noooo way. I took it as a sign and said yes. Was it tough? Yes. Was I in so much pain I wanted to cry? You betcha. Did I finish? Heck yeaaa. I completed my first half marathon in May 2014 a few lbs shy of my heaviest weight - 288 lbs. Those first pics of me here are from a few days after where I treated myself to a Florida vacation after the race. I had joined MFP in April 2014 but really found myself committed after the run, knowing that I immediately signed up for one in September and wanted to improve my time. I knew to do that, I had to better take care of myself and MFP helped with that.

Since that first race in 2014, I'm now a 4 time half marathon finisher - twice in Cleveland and twice in Akron, as well as other 5Ks, an 8K and a 10K. My time improved significantly and I shed over 37 minutes from my first Half time. I'm still one of the slowest in the pack, but I'm doing it. All the while, slowly losing. I'm always amazed at people who can drop 50 lbs in like 6 months but that'll never be me. I've had slip backs, I've eaten myself into oblivion, I've taken too much time off from the gym - I'm far from perfect. One thing I do know though, is that my slow losing is going to be a permanent loss...I'm never going to see nearly 300 lbs again. I'm almost halfway to my overall goal, approaching onederland which is something I wasn't even in in high school, and I'm only 5 lbs more than what I weighed as a sophomore in high school - 10 years ago.

I told myself when I lost 50 I was going to treat myself to something awesome. I've always hid behind my hair, it's something I grow out to donate but never get it cut shorter than mid-neck, I felt my head was too huge for anything shorter. One mistaken haircut proved that theory to me in 2012 and I vowed to never have short hair, until now. I have cheekbones and a jaw line! Who knew?!

Anyhow...it's hard for me to see the loss since I see myself every day but everyone around me just talks about how much happier I look all the time. I still have my bad days where I want to eat an entire box of Chips Ahoy but I try to remind myself where I've been and where I'm going. If I can do it, anyone can. Thanks for reading